rionaleonhart | You Have A Terrible Poker Face.

A handful of Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days observations that I failed to mention in my last entry on account of crying too much:

Phil of Hercules: Now, I gotta head back inside to get ready for the next match, but, uh...
Roxas: What?
Phil: Nothin', nothin'. Well, all right then... I'm gonna go.
(Phil starts to walk away; Roxas turns to leave.)
Phil: Hey, Roxas...
Roxas: Yeah?
Phil: (not turning around) Don't be a stranger. (leaves)
Roxas: What, he wants me to come back? For what? More training? Hunh, weird.

...Square, did you intend me to interpret this scene as the unrequited love of a grumpy satyr for his oblivious trainee? Because, if not, something has gone quite badly wrong. (I think the idea was to show that Phil is quietly proud of him, but there was definitely a moment of 'what - what am I reading?' before I realised that. It's probably a similar inability to distinguish between emotions that led me to think Hermione was in love with Hagrid when I was eleven.)

Also, I love that Xigbar calls Axel 'Flamesilocks'. Xigbar is great fun in this game. He's hilarious, and, despite being generally callous and mocking, he does seem to have an odd fondness for Roxas.

Luxord seems to be slightly fond of Roxas as well, giving him advice on life (even if it's so heavily dressed up in poker metaphors that Roxas can't really follow it) and gently poking fun at him. A part of me wants fanfiction in which Luxord is a sort of pseudo-father figure for Roxas. (I find it intriguing that Luxord wears an earring in the shape of the Nobody symbol. Does that mean he's in some way proud of or happy with his identity as a Nobody?)

Speaking of things that make me cry endlessly:

zarla's latest entry of Hunter-Smoker-Jockey-Charger comics tore my heart into confetti, and so I'm thinking quite a lot about the ladyzombies at the moment, and so, inevitably, I am coming up with terrible crossover ideas. SMOKER IS A NOBODY AND INSISTS THAT, WITHOUT A HEART, SHE CANNOT FEEL EMOTION. HUNTER WILL SEE ABOUT THAT.

I also want to see an AU in which Hunter, Smoker, Jockey and Charger are all in prison together and try to break out. Yes.

Seriously, there needs to be so much fanfiction about these four. I'm actually weirdly tempted to claim Hunter/Smoker for

1sentence, if the owners of this universe wouldn't mind.

A final note: I've been getting a bit of spam in my journal lately, so I've turned on CAPTCHA for anonymous comments. Sorry if this inconveniences anyone who wants to comment anonymously! You'll still be able to comment; you'll just have to type in a couple of words to prove that you're not a robot first. (If you are, in fact, a robot who genuinely wants to chat, I can only apologise.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This is Riona, testing the CAPTCHA for anonymous comments. Hello, me!

...well, those two words are completely unreadable. I think they might say 'Difturb Eadods'. Let's try it.

I WOULD TOTALLY READ A KINGDOM HEARTS CROSSOVER OMG

OR ANYTHING REALLY hee hee

ALSO I WOULDN'T MIND RE: THE ONE SENTENCE THING 8D

I'm having trouble thinking of anything I don't want to cross them over with. POKÉMON: AMAZING. KINGDOM HEARTS: AMAZING. SILENT HILL: AMAZING. These characters are so versatile!

And thank you! If I do decide to claim, I'll have to ask

jazaaboo about it first, because Jockey and Charger would obviously be showing up as well. (I've written a few sentences so far, and I'm slightly concerned by how often I seem to be killing Hunter. It's nothing personal, Hunter. I still love you.)

IT WORKS WITH EVERYTHING
CHARGER, GYM LEADER not that me and

jazaaboo have dorked about this before david with a cherrim and a luvdisc, the two of them wandering around watching butterfree migrations. Or Jockey's silent hill filled with undead monstrous versions of all the people she pretends are alive. D:

haha I BET YOU SHE'D BE COOL WITH IT in fact askin her right now she seems quite delighted BUT I DUNNO IF YOU WANT TO ASK YOURSELF PERSONALLY OR SOMETHIN
i kill you because i love you baby, i swear

Oh, augh, I hadn't even thought about how endlessly horrible Jockey's Silent Hill would be. Someone really does need to write that fic now. I'm not sure I have the mental fortitude to do it without crying so much I short out my laptop.

Charger as a Gym Leader, on the other hand, is a delightful mental image and I love it.

the two of them wandering around watching butterfree migrations

THEY ARE SO CUTE I CAN'T EVEN COPE.

IT WOULD BE SO HORRIBLE D: And this got me thinking about other monsters that might get conjured up, some kind of weird twisted crocomonsters for Charger, something female genitalia related for Smoker, some kind of aggressively male one for Hunter, so on so on so on

Haha you'd go into her gym, and David would be all "Oh, you're looking for the gym leader? My wife's over there. :O" and then when you beat her he'd run over all ! "Are you okay?" and then they'd wander around the map afterwards like Lance or Cynthia just showing up places following Pokemon all "did you know about shellder migration :o it's fascinating" and popping little hearts at each other
SO PAINFULLY ADORABLE

I'm a robot which has basic word recognition software installed.

Also, I can love. But not without viagra! Buy viagra plz.

Alas, all attempts to buy viagra have failed, the Nigerian bank transfer must have broken down.

Our love can never be, and I think my phish may be dead.

You are the most heartbreaking spam robot I've ever met.

(I was trying to think of a spam-related pun to make here, but then I stumbled across Spamusement in my search for spam subject lines and got distracted.)

LUXORD IS MY FAVOURITE. I am also loving Xigbar. AND I FINALLY HIT THE POINT AT WHICH AXEL SAYS WE'RE GOING TO FIND XION. And Roxas is all "REALLY!?" "...No, go back to bed. OF COURSE REALLY." Augh, knowing what happens at the end is breaking my heart already. ~~I just typed "hearts" there. apparently my subconcious thinks I'm a Time Lady. hrm.~~

Luxord! So eloquent! So thoroughly ridiculous in his overuse of gambling terms! I love him.

~~Or maybe your subconscious knows you are hiding all the Nobodies' hearts inside your chest.~~

A part of me wants fanfiction in which Luxord is a sort of pseudo-father figure for Roxas. (I find it intriguing that Luxord wears an earring in the shape of the Nobody symbol. Does that mean he's in some way proud of or happy with his identity as a Nobody?

Okay, that would be really awesome fic! Luxord, the Nobody who's comfortable with who he is mentoring Roxas, trying to get him to see that his Nobody status is just fine.

I'd definitely read it! (Perceiving their relationship as a sort of father-son one makes it awfully sad that, when Sora eventually defeats Luxord, his final words are 'How could you, Roxas?')

A part of me wants fanfiction in which Luxord is a sort of pseudo-father figure for Roxas.

“You almost look glum, Roxas.”

Glancing up, Roxas wasn’t overly surprised to see Luxord standing there.

“May I take a seat?” Luxord asked, and Roxas shrugged. Taking it as an invitation, Luxord sat down. Sometimes, Roxas sat like this at the ends of missions, and listened to the bustle of life around him, the chirping of birds, the setting up of a market stalls. In The Castle That Never Was, nothing ever filled the silence. Humans might have felt awkward and tried to fill the silence with words, but they weren’t humans. Not any more.

After a while, Roxas ventured to say, “Why does Saix hate Xion so much?” Luxord seemed like one of the less… borderline psychotic of his colleagues, so he supposed he could even get an answer. He’d asked Axel once, but nothing had come of it. Roxas was coming to the realisation that Axel was very good at dodging questions he didn’t want to answer/

Luxord seemed to consider. “Perhaps he thinks she is the joker of our group.”

“The joker…?”

“An unnecessary extra.”

“But Xion is… she’s good at what she does,” Roxas argued.

“Indeed?” The intonation in his voice made it sound very much like an ‘and so what?’.

“He won’t change his mind. Xion knows it, too. It’s just not fair.”

“You seem to have folded the hand before it’s even been dealt,” Luxord commented.

“What?” Roxas had almost forgotten why it was impossible to speak to Luxord; he seemed reasonable enough, then started off on a string of words that made no sense at all. Metaphors, Axel called them. Roxas called them confusing.

“It is pointless to give up without trying.”

“But if he thinks she’s useless, and he won’t give her proper missions…”

“I would wager,” said Luxord, “that yourself and Xion are our aces.”

“We’re aces…?”

“The question is,” Luxord continued, “who is one, and who is eleven?”

“Er…”

“Remember, boy, that there is no constant in a good game. No player is on top throughout the game.”

“But… what game?”

“Our game.”

Roxas stood up, feeling even more confused than he had before. “Er, thanks. I guess.”

“If you ever need advice, boy, you know where to find me.”

That’d be unlikely, Roxas thought, but he had the courtesy not to say it. Just… “It’s Roxas,” he said. “Not boy.”

“Very well, Roxas.” Luxord nodded at him, and Roxas started walking.

And that was the start of Luxord and Roxas’ strange mentor-pupil relationship.

(God, I can’t write Luxord due to lack of poker term knowledge. XD But that’s the best I can do!)

I actually started laughing out loud halfway through this. LUXORD. YOUR PATTERNS OF SPEECH ARE RIDICULOUS. 'Who is one, and who is eleven?' was the point at which I cracked up.

he seemed reasonable enough, then started off on a string of words that made no sense at all. Metaphors, Axel called them. Roxas called them confusing.

Hee hee hee!

This is absolutely charming. Thank you so much!

He is -so hard to write-, as it's practically every line. Damnit Luxord!

You Have A Terrible Poker Face.

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