rionaleonhart | 'Erik? ...Erik. Erik, The Bedpost Is Clean.'

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'Erik? ...Erik. Erik, The Bedpost Is Clean.'

X-Men: First Class Fic Ideas That Seem Good Until You Think About Them For More Than Three Seconds: all the mutants somehow have their powers temporarily reversed.

Yes, Charles is suddenly broadcasting his thoughts into everyone else's heads, and that's potentially interesting, but as it turns out he is the only one with a power that can be sensibly reversed.

Erik is controlled by metal objects. They just want him to polish them all the time.

Whenever Raven tries to turn into someone else, they turn into her.

Alex attracts blades of destructive energy; it is fortunate for him that they are not naturally occurring.

Sean has the power to... be... really... quiet?

Darwin adapts to die, suddenly sprouting gills in the middle of the desert or losing his skeleton when trying to run away from something. Curiously, he manages to survive despite the overwhelming odds against him.

I mean, I do sort of like the idea of Erik screaming with frustration when he wants to kill Shaw but can't tear himself away from polishing his submarine. Regardless: this is not a fic that should be written.

(Of course, there are worse ideas. I'm trying to think of them. CHARLES IS SECRETLY MADE OF METAL AND ENJOYS THE WAY ERIK CAN MANIPULATE HIM. Has anyone written that? I bet it's only a matter of time.

SOME ACTUAL GOOD IDEAS WOULD BE NICE, BRAIN.)

I've just realised that, although I've linked various people to this previously, I haven't yet posted a link in an actual journal entry! Please enjoy wtf r u doin james mcavoy, my very favourite tumblr, dedicated to this ridiculous man and his ridiculous poses.

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Hmm, that could be interesting. I'd probably make it so Erik can't touch anything metal, like suddenly he has the same charge as every metal thing. That could be hilariously frustrating- like he reaches for a spoon at breakfast and it keeps skittering away from him.

Darwin's reversed power sounds freaking tragic! He'd be dead in seconds! I can see Alex desperately trying to change the environment around Darwin to keep him alive (like throwing him in water when he grows gills in air, then yanking him back out when they disappear- assuming he could do it fast enough for Darwin to get a breath in between).

James McAvoy is quickly climbing the ranks of My Favorite People.

ETA: Also, I see Alex's reversed power being.. Shaw's, actually. Energy absorption instead of release. Which would be awkward, probably.

Edited 2011-06-29 20:46 (UTC)

I'd probably make it so Erik can't touch anything metal, like suddenly he has the same charge as every metal thing.

Good idea! And I love the spoon image. Sorry for wanting to see you in ridiculous situations, Erik.

I can see Alex desperately trying to change the environment around Darwin to keep him alive

Hee, do you 'ship Alex/Darwin, by any chance? I have to confess that I was 'shipping it a bit when I was watching. In any case, this is a charming idea.

And that's a very good point about Alex's reversed power. Ooh.

He brings it on himself, with all his scowly brooding Jewish James Bond-ness.

Maaaybe. What can I say? I was powerless against the subtle tummy touch and silent conversation where a very clever battle plan was devised in seconds. And then Darwin died. :(

I'm just imagining this scene where there's a fire for some reason and Alex is drawn to put his hand in it and absorbs the flames' energy and he's very freaked out.

Erik is controlled by metal objects. They just want him to polish them all the time.

This genuinely made me laugh for about five minutes.

That's a worryingly long time, but I'm glad you enjoyed it!

OH, BY THE WAY, HERE IS A GAME FOR YOU: rewatch this scene from Hex (video should start at the three-minute mark).

Anyone look familiar?

Hee, have you been watching Hex? How are you finding it?

Um um um I know Thelma is in Sugar Rush and also Kinky Boots and I've seen Cassie somewhere before as well...

I have not been watching any more Hex of yet, but Rei.

Rei.

Take a good look at Azazeal.

Really look.

....

..........

....

OH MY GOD.

I want to read the scene where Erik is polishing the submarine instead of killing Shaw, but I believe it could be improved if he was actually using his own tears to polish it. Shaw, of course, is evilly enjoying it.

Sean could suck the sound out of his environment. He'd be caught in the middle of a soundproof bubble, and could only comunicate (or have someone communicate to him) through the use of interpretive dance.

I did not know a man could be in that many silly photos.

I suppose the question here is what would happen to Shaw? I'm not sure he'd be enjoying it quite so much if all the energy he possessed were slowly draining into the sand...

I believe it could be improved if he was actually using his own tears to polish it.

Ahahaha, you are wonderfully cruel.

I did not know a man could be in that many silly photos.

This sentence sums James McAvoy up for me beautifully.

Sean has the power to emit blasts of silence, creating peace and quiet. Oh, god, I want that power.

That works! And, yes, I think it could be extremely useful on occasion.

Other X-Men power reversals:

Rogue needs everybody to touch her. All the time. Constantly.
Gambit drains power from everything. He can't own a mobile phone. Or a laptop. Or a TV. Or batteries, because there is never any power. He turns into an Amish recluse just to avoid the frustration.
Pietro can walk at approximately 0.2 miles an hour. It takes an hour to take one step. He resorts to stealing Charles' wheelchair just to get some speed up.
Wolverine can basically die from a papercut. Anywhere. Anytime. He joins Gambit in the Amish hut, potentially wrapped in bubblewrap.

Actually, I can see a lot of reversed X-Men ending up in an Amish hut somewhere...

Gambit drains power from everything. He can't own a mobile phone. Or a laptop. Or a TV. Or batteries, because there is never any power. He turns into an Amish recluse just to avoid the frustration.

He would be the WORST AMISH RECLUSE EVER! It would be awesome! (Gambit is my favorite X-Man, and watching his hilariously frustrated hutdwelling lifestyle would be amazing.)

Gambit is my favourite too XD He's just such a COOL character! I always wanted to be as cool as Gambit. Or, alternatively, to have a man as suave as Gambit chat me up in a gorgeous French accent. I knew there was a reason I dated that French bartender...

I would love to be cool like Gambit. Also, be able to cause explosions whenever I wanted (although my first-choice mutant power has always been a split between pyrokinesis and flying. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FLY AROUND AND MAKE FIRE!)

I'm not terribly familiar with the larger X-Men universe, so I just looked Gambit up, and I love that one of his powers is 'a hypnotic charm'. That's really not a power you want to have reversed.

Gambit is sort of a Cajun Derren Brown who rather likes charming women to fall at his feet, stealing all of their valuables and then blowing stuff up with kinetically-charged cards. He's the ultimate cad - a mutant Casanova thief with absolutely no morals, if you will. Such a good character XD

I love you, and this, forever.

Thanks! I do rather love Gambit XD

Erik is controlled by metal objects. They just want him to polish them all the time.

THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS!

Whenever Raven tries to turn into someone else, they turn into her.

You could actually do quite a cool "Raven can make other people look like her!" fic.

Alex attracts blades of destructive energy; it is fortunate for him that they are not naturally occurring.

Would there be non-reversed mutants around? Alternately, would his powers spontaneously generate destructive energy only all flying towards him?

Sean has the power to... be... really... quiet?

You need to do a crackfic version with whispering Sean and polishing Magneto.

Darwin adapts to die, suddenly sprouting gills in the middle of the desert or losing his skeleton when trying to run away from something. Curiously, he manages to survive despite the overwhelming odds against him.

I WILL NEVER STOP LAUGHING!

CHARLES IS SECRETLY MADE OF METAL AND ENJOYS THE WAY ERIK CAN MANIPULATE HIM. Has anyone written that? I bet it's only a matter of time.

You could do a bodyswap or powerswap fic where he ends up with the powers of Colossus or Wolverine's metal bones or something, and Erik is all "I can manipulate you for once!" and then...stuff. Kinky sex or psychological drama or "Look, he's poseable!" fun or whatever. It's only fair, after all.

You could actually do quite a cool "Raven can make other people look like her!" fic.

I was thinking that! It is actually a concept with potential.

Alternately, would his powers spontaneously generate destructive energy only all flying towards him?

Oh, dear. Let's hope not for his sake.

You need to do a crackfic version with whispering Sean and polishing Magneto.

I can't! I can't... this is going to sound absurd, but I can't actually write crackfic. By which I obviously don't mean I can't write things with ridiculous premises, because, you know, look at my back catalogue, but I always have to take those premises seriously when I write, if that makes sense. I'm not sure I'd be able to write about polishing Magneto in a non-farcical way, and I don't really write farce.

I can't! I can't... this is going to sound absurd, but I can't actually write crackfic.

That is incredibly surprising, but I know what you mean.

My roommate linked me to this, though I'd already seen it, and we wound up talking about such an AU:
Me: I actually think that one could be heartbreaking (possibly as a human au, maybe not) where Erik has bad bad OCD as a result of his childhood trauma
Rm: Yeah, they'd all be so fucked up
Raven wouldn't look like other people
But compulsively behave like other people?
Me:Sean can't speak above a whisper because if he's loud, he gets hit
Rm: Alex gets beaten a lot
Me: Darwin is whatever someone else wants him to be
And has been in a lot of very bad relationships because of it
Rm: *shiver*

It appears my mutant power is turning crack au prompts into horrifying -- but into horrifying that I'd love to read if any of you delightful people feel like running with it. I'd write it myself if I could get further into things than three scenes before losing interest...

That's a fascinating idea! And also, yes, completely horrible. The interpretation of Raven in particular really interests me. I don't think I'd be capable of writing it, though; it treads a lot of delicate ground that I'm not sure I have the finesse to cover myself.

(Edited because 'conver' is not a word, whoops.)

Edited 2011-07-11 08:23 (UTC)

In addition to broadcasting all her thoughts, Emma Frost can turn herself into flumps.

Azazel spends a lot of time wearing a trenchcoat and looking adorably confused.

Darwin's power reversal is that he becomes spectacularly complacent, and/or a dodo.

In looking up 'flumps' to make sure they were indeed the marshmallow thing I was thinking of, I came across possibly my favourite sentence in a Wikipedia article:

They are very bendy, leading to the well-known Colby game of 'flump their noggin', where one hits one's chosen opponent starkly across the forehead, with a flump.

Marshmallow probably is the opposite of diamond.

(Also, ahahaha, I just got the Azazel line. Yes!)

the well-known Colby game of 'flump their noggin', where one hits one's chosen opponent starkly across the forehead, with a flump.

...someone hand me a flump immediately.

Storm... hm. A-ha! She is affected by the weather. When it rains, she's sad. When it's sunny, she's happy. When there's thunder, she gets the hiccups. Lightning gets her hot. Tornadoes make her want to rush around and get shit done. Which may not be very useful in an actual tornado.

Cyclops has to keep his eyes open ALL THE TIME.

Bobby Drake makes ice melt. So he can never make a decent gin and tonic and he's banned from the ice rink.

DESTRUCTIVE BEAMS EVERY TIME YOU BLINK. I wonder whether that's more or less inconvenient than DESTRUCTIVE BEAMS EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR EYES? I suppose blinking is harder to control and you'd have to put in eye drops or something constantly, but on the other hand you'd be able to see.

That Tumblr is my current favourite of all Tumblrs. <3

It's a beautiful thing. Never stop being weird, James McAvoy.

Ahahaha this was hilarious to read, including the comments! My fave is still Erik polishing the submarine. :D

I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thank you very much for your lovely comment on the Glee/Animorphs fic. It's nice to meet you!

Darwin's situation reminds me a lot of Rincewind in the Last Continent. Sean would probably have the ability to create silence within a zone, with rays of silence or something.

ActuallY I really quite like this idea, because I love the idea of Magneto basically becoming a put-upon butler to large bodies of metal. Also would present a problem if he met a non-reversed Colossus at any point.

My favourite part of that tumblr is that the 2000 followers post is a gif of David Mitchell from the Big Fat Quiz of the Year.

...You don't run that tumblr, do you?

I wasn't supposed to post but your journal always makes me happy instead of intensely miserable, SO I AM DOING IT. Even though I haven't seen the movie yet. (Not working in a movie theater is awful. Awful, I tell you!)

I am trying to figure out what the opposite of teleportation would be, because Nightcrawler is my absolute favorite forever. I would think something like "the place he wants to go comes to him" but that is pretty much teleportation anyway.

And Kitty's power... would turn into not being able to move through ANYTHING maybe? Except not being able to move through air would be problematic. But she'd never be able to go swimming again.

Okay, I'm pretty much terrible at this.

Also, while Mr. McAvoy's silly poses are impressive, have you seen Bradley James's expressions? They are pretty ridiculous.

Regardless: this is not a fic that should be written. Aw, really? This is like the perfect crack!fic. It is a terrible shame that you do not write crack!fic.

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