Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2012-03-03 12:48 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2012-03-03 12:48 pm
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Susan Calman, It Turns Out, Is Slightly Terrifying.
Yesterday, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ruthi very kindly offered me a last-minute ticket for a recording of Charlie Brooker's radio panel show So Wrong It's Right! Two episodes were recorded: the guests for the first were Lee Mack, Holly Walsh, Barry Cryer; the guests for the second were Lee Mack again, Susan Calman and SOMEONE CALLED DANNY MEYER OR MAYER OR MYERS OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES, I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIND HIM ON GOOGLE (EDIT: lozenger8 has identified him as Daniel Maier). Because of this inability to confirm, I'll be referring to him as 'Daniel' rather than by surname in this report (the producer introduced him to us as 'Danny', but Brooker called him 'Daniel' throughout).
Here is what I can remember!
At the beginning, during microphone tests:
Producer: Charlie, would you just chat to the audience a bit?
Brooker: (disgusted) Chat? What, to all of them individually?
(pause)
Brooker: ...hello.
Audience: Hello.
Brooker: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Mack tried out an odd shouty voice to test his microphone.
Mack: That's what I imagine your thoughts sound like, Charlie.
Brooker: I just think in a long, unbroken scream.
Brooker fluffed a line and had to redo it.
Brooker: You'll have to pretend I didn't say that. Imagine we're rewinding. It's like live Sky Plus.
During the opening, Brooker knocked over his bottle of water.
Brooker: Oh, no, we can't have water bottles falling over! (picks up the bottle and looks at its rounded base) Who designed that?
Cryer: A great radio moment, everyone.
Brooker: (bellows) I HAVEN'T INTRODUCED YOU YET! YOU DON'T EXIST!
Mack talked about how, at school, he and his friends lost a lot of money on a Snakes and Ladders-themed fruit machine, called 'Adders and Ladders', and so they decided to make their own fruit machine to fleece their schoolmates.
Mack: 'But, Lee, how were you going to build a fruit machine?' That's what Charlie and the audience are thinking.
Brooker: I was thinking that.
Mack: We didn't know how to. That was the flaw in our plan.
Their 'fruit machine', it turned out, was a thin piece of wood on which they'd drawn a Snakes and Ladders game with the occasional square saying things like 'win five pence'.
Walsh: ...but that's not a fruit machine. That's just betting on Snakes and Ladders.
Mack: ADDERS AND LADDERS.
Later:
Walsh: We had milk dispensers at school, and what those were was... there were these big cartons of milk, and you slotted them into the machine and then turned the valve to get milk.
Mack: I like that you explained what a milk dispenser was. 'It's a machine that dispenses milk.' I was wondering.
Walsh: Well, you obviously have no understanding of machinery, so...
When talking about his 'fruit machine', Mack mentioned that punters would roll the dice. Brooker corrected him to 'die'. Mack objected to Brooker's correction at some length, on the grounds that the majority of people use the 'incorrect' form and it should therefore be considered correct.
Mack: (concluding) Nobody ever says 'die'.
Brooker: (narrows eyes) I'm thinking it right now.
The curious thing is that Mack had used as an example 'if they roll a seven', so I assumed he had been talking about multiple dice, but in protesting against Brooker's correction he made it clear that he had indeed meant a single die. Nobody picked him up on the 'seven'.
Mack was caught running this gambling scheme and ordered to see the headmaster.
Mack: And these were the old days. They could beat you in those days.
Brooker: You can still beat your pupils now; you just can't admit it. (pause) ...YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM.
Mack: Well, if that's the rule you're going by, you can lock them in your cellar.
Walsh told the tale of how someone at her school threw an 18-pint carton of two-month-old milk off the roof of a school building when she was underneath.
Walsh: It was like the least sexy foam party you can imagine.
Brooker: Did your life flash pasteurise?
(audience groan)
Brooker: (bellows) DON'T GROAN AT ME! (at Walsh) DID IT??
Walsh: ...
Brooker: PASTEURISE! IT'S A GOOD JOKE!
Later:
Brooker: Was it a boy who threw it?
Walsh: It was a boy.
Brooker: Did you shout 'How dairy?'
(groans)
Brooker: HOW DAIRY! Come on!
Walsh: I think I'm actually becoming lactose intolerant to your jokes.
Brooker: Puns don't get better if you shout them. That's what I've learnt from this.
Walsh: Even Barry Cryer is going 'no'.
The panel were asked to come up with a terrible idea for a news programme or channel. Walsh proposed 24-hour rolling local news. If a cat goes missing they'll interview people who know the cat, have a reconstruction of the last time the cat was seen, get a vet in to explain the difference between a cat and a non-cat...
During a discussion about newsreaders:
Mack: I'm a traditionalist. I want a dicky bow, and I don't want to see anything from the waist down. But enough about my sex life.
Brooker is so emotionally dead that, in the vein of the little superimposed person performing sign language in the corner of some television programmes for the benefit of the deaf, he wants a little person pulling faces alongside the news to tell him how to feel.
Brooker thinks the airbag in cars should be replaced with a device that strangles you in the event of a crash, so you suffer less before you die.
Brooker: If you're travelling at a hundred miles per hour, it should strangle you before you hit a wall, because nothing's going to save you at that point.
Walsh: Brakes?
Brooker: ...I didn't think of those.
At some point between rounds, Mack became restless and started demanding a drink, calling on Cryer to back him up.
Mack: Barry is a senior member of the comedy community, and he wants another drink!
Cryer was evidently unimpressed by the 'senior member of the comedy community' comment.
Cryer: Have the visitors been? What day is it? They take your trousers when you sleep, you know.
Brooker: This is sort of simultaneously sweet and disturbing.
Cryer: Are you my son?
(Brooker bursts into awkward giggles)
Mack: No, that's just disturbing.
Cryer hates automated telephone services. Brooker apparently likes talking to machines.
Mack: (to Brooker) I imagine you have a toaster as a pet. And you let it sit in your lap, and you stroke it...
Walsh: You feed it bread.
Brooker seemed quite taken with the idea.
Brooker once overheard someone having an argument with his smartphone assistant. The phone went 'Sorry, I don't understand' a couple of times in response to voice commands; the man became very angry, got embarrassed about rowing in public and took the phone into a corner to hiss at it as if it were a real person. 'You always do this!'
Walsh expressed her distaste for baby showers.
Walsh: And you have to bring a present!
Brooker: Isn't that just the father of the child?
Walsh: No, they've already given their gift.
Mack: I like that excuse. I'm going to use that when my wife asks me to help with the children. 'I think you'll find I've already given my gift.'
Walsh: 'And I didn't even wrap it.'
Walsh: When people show me pictures of their babies, I load up my phone and show them pictures of really good lie-ins I've had. 'Oh, look at her, isn't she cute?' 'Look at this! I didn't get up until 2pm! Look at my little face!'
Mack said he pretended to vomit over baby pictures to get people to stop showing them to him.
Brooker: I just naturally vomit when I see a baby.
Mack: You know you're having a baby, Charlie?
Walsh: What a way to break it to him!
Mack: I saw a bottle of l'Oréal shampoo for £6.95, and I genuinely thought 'I'm just not worth it.'
Brooker: Where's the worst place to take someone on a date?
Mack: (without hesitation) Up the wrong 'un.
Brooker: Which one's the wrong 'un is a matter of opinion, surely.
Mack: And what did she say?
Mack: Look, I'm going to tell you this anecdote, and it's how I got angry about something ridiculous, but I know it's ridiculous, so don't judge me.
Brooker: That's... my role.
Calman: I hate anything spontaneous, I hate surprises...
Mack: BOO!
It took Calman a long moment and a long sip of her pint to recover.
The panel discussed how a guide cat (as opposed to a guide dog) wouldn't work because it would jump up on walls or deliberately take you somewhere horrible.
Brooker: I want a guide cat! I'd get one and just close my eyes and see where it led me. Every day would be an adventure!
Calman: (to Mack, apropos of nothing) I like you. I don't know why. I just do.
Mack: ...good.
Later, when Calman was talking about the special cupboard in which she keeps her provisions for the apocalypse, including a map to the nearest port:
Mack: Oh, I thought, being Scottish, you meant a map to the nearest bottle of port.
Calman: (glares) And we were getting on so well. We were on the verge of mating and producing a super transformer being that would solve the problems between England and Scotland. No longer.
Calman told us how she went out to walk one of her cats in a harness attached to a lead and someone called the police.
Calman: I probably shouldn't have been wearing my pyjamas.
Brooker: Nobody has the forethought to wrestle their cat into a harness and then doesn't bother to get changed out of their pyjamas.
Calman: Once you've got the cat into the harness, you're too exhausted to change! I was only going to the shop! Besides, they were nice pyjamas. I'm not a scab; I have nice pyjamas.
Brooker: ...what sort of pyjamas would a scab wear? All ragged and tattered?
Calman: You know when you see people wearing pyjamas that are skintight and completely see-through?
Brooker: That's clingfilm.
Calman and her cats had me laughing more than anything else in the recording. They all sit around together and watch YouTube videos of cats doing funny things! They have middle names! She has songs for each of her three cats, which she sings when the cat in question come into the room!
Brooker: There must be serial killers who break into your house and run away terrified.
When the middle name thing came to light:
Brooker: But if they have middle names they must have surnames.
Calman: Well, obviously they're all Calman!
Brooker: (staaaaares)
Calman: (appealing to the audience) Come on, does no one else... no? This is why the Internet is my only friend.
Brooker: What about your cats?
Calman: They're children.
Brooker: Jesus Christ.
Later, it arose that Calman doesn't like physical contact.
Calman: I like a firm handshake, no matter what my relationship with someone. Even if we're in a bed relationship.
Brooker: You shake hands in the bedroom? That's the sickest thing I've ever heard.
Calman: Everything leaves a trace, doesn't it? (addressing Brooker) I hug you, you go away, something happens to you, you get murdered, I'm in the dock.
Calman: I'm saying, you know, shake hands with the person working at the checkout, that's fine, it's nice, but kissing and hugging...
Brooker: To be honest, I've never been tempted to go any further with a person at a checkout.
Calman: ...well, there is this one girl at the supermarket where I live, and I do - I do like to play this game called Try and Touch the Checkout Girl.
Brooker: You're such a hypocrite!
Daniel: If you do get arrested for murder, it's not going to be because you left traces of your DNA by hugging someone.
Brooker: So, Daniel... may I call you Daniel? I mean, I have been calling you Daniel all evening.
Daniel: You can call me Daniel. I notice you're not using your other special name for me.
Brooker: What's the safeword?
Regarding variants of the phrase 'Keep Calm and Carry On':
Brooker: There's one particularly annoying one that says 'Keep Calm and Eat a Cupcake'. CUPCAKES ARE RUBBISH. They're a waste of... what's in a cupcake, sugar and butter?
Daniel: Air and hate.
Daniel expressed his dislike of cryptic status updates on Facebook.
Daniel: You really see the difference between men and women with those. Because when someone posts a status update saying 'Can't believe it's happened again!', all the comments are their female friends going 'Hope you're OK babes xx', 'Call me if you need to talk x'. And the men just tentatively go '...like?'
Brooker: ...Susan, I have to ask: do your cats have Facebook accounts?
Calman: No!
Brooker: Oh, right, because that would be ridiculous.
Calman: They don't have thumbs.
Brooker: What's the worst way to describe yourself on a dating website?
Calman: 'Not on any UK registers.'
Mack: I once called up More Than Insurance and asked them what they did besides insurance. And he said, 'Nothing.' And I said, 'Well, how can you call yourselves More Than Insurance?'
Brooker: We have to mention all the other insurance providers, now. (note for those unaware: this is because the BBC isn't allowed to advertise; it has to point out, 'hey, there are other insurance providers, we're not just pointing you towards More Than!')
Mack: I once called up Churchill Insurance and asked them what they did besides insurance. And he said... well, you know what he said: 'Oh, no.' And I said, 'Well, how can you call yourselves More Than Insurance?' And he said, 'We don't.'
The episodes should be broadcast on Radio 4 at some point in May, I believe. I hope you enjoyed this report!
ruthi very kindly offered me a last-minute ticket for a recording of Charlie Brooker's radio panel show So Wrong It's Right! Two episodes were recorded: the guests for the first were Lee Mack, Holly Walsh, Barry Cryer; the guests for the second were Lee Mack again, Susan Calman and SOMEONE CALLED DANNY MEYER OR MAYER OR MYERS OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES, I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIND HIM ON GOOGLE (EDIT: lozenger8 has identified him as Daniel Maier). Because of this inability to confirm, I'll be referring to him as 'Daniel' rather than by surname in this report (the producer introduced him to us as 'Danny', but Brooker called him 'Daniel' throughout).Here is what I can remember!
At the beginning, during microphone tests:
Producer: Charlie, would you just chat to the audience a bit?
Brooker: (disgusted) Chat? What, to all of them individually?
(pause)
Brooker: ...hello.
Audience: Hello.
Brooker: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Mack tried out an odd shouty voice to test his microphone.
Mack: That's what I imagine your thoughts sound like, Charlie.
Brooker: I just think in a long, unbroken scream.
Brooker fluffed a line and had to redo it.
Brooker: You'll have to pretend I didn't say that. Imagine we're rewinding. It's like live Sky Plus.
During the opening, Brooker knocked over his bottle of water.
Brooker: Oh, no, we can't have water bottles falling over! (picks up the bottle and looks at its rounded base) Who designed that?
Cryer: A great radio moment, everyone.
Brooker: (bellows) I HAVEN'T INTRODUCED YOU YET! YOU DON'T EXIST!
Mack talked about how, at school, he and his friends lost a lot of money on a Snakes and Ladders-themed fruit machine, called 'Adders and Ladders', and so they decided to make their own fruit machine to fleece their schoolmates.
Mack: 'But, Lee, how were you going to build a fruit machine?' That's what Charlie and the audience are thinking.
Brooker: I was thinking that.
Mack: We didn't know how to. That was the flaw in our plan.
Their 'fruit machine', it turned out, was a thin piece of wood on which they'd drawn a Snakes and Ladders game with the occasional square saying things like 'win five pence'.
Walsh: ...but that's not a fruit machine. That's just betting on Snakes and Ladders.
Mack: ADDERS AND LADDERS.
Later:
Walsh: We had milk dispensers at school, and what those were was... there were these big cartons of milk, and you slotted them into the machine and then turned the valve to get milk.
Mack: I like that you explained what a milk dispenser was. 'It's a machine that dispenses milk.' I was wondering.
Walsh: Well, you obviously have no understanding of machinery, so...
When talking about his 'fruit machine', Mack mentioned that punters would roll the dice. Brooker corrected him to 'die'. Mack objected to Brooker's correction at some length, on the grounds that the majority of people use the 'incorrect' form and it should therefore be considered correct.
Mack: (concluding) Nobody ever says 'die'.
Brooker: (narrows eyes) I'm thinking it right now.
The curious thing is that Mack had used as an example 'if they roll a seven', so I assumed he had been talking about multiple dice, but in protesting against Brooker's correction he made it clear that he had indeed meant a single die. Nobody picked him up on the 'seven'.
Mack was caught running this gambling scheme and ordered to see the headmaster.
Mack: And these were the old days. They could beat you in those days.
Brooker: You can still beat your pupils now; you just can't admit it. (pause) ...YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM.
Mack: Well, if that's the rule you're going by, you can lock them in your cellar.
Walsh told the tale of how someone at her school threw an 18-pint carton of two-month-old milk off the roof of a school building when she was underneath.
Walsh: It was like the least sexy foam party you can imagine.
Brooker: Did your life flash pasteurise?
(audience groan)
Brooker: (bellows) DON'T GROAN AT ME! (at Walsh) DID IT??
Walsh: ...
Brooker: PASTEURISE! IT'S A GOOD JOKE!
Later:
Brooker: Was it a boy who threw it?
Walsh: It was a boy.
Brooker: Did you shout 'How dairy?'
(groans)
Brooker: HOW DAIRY! Come on!
Walsh: I think I'm actually becoming lactose intolerant to your jokes.
Brooker: Puns don't get better if you shout them. That's what I've learnt from this.
Walsh: Even Barry Cryer is going 'no'.
The panel were asked to come up with a terrible idea for a news programme or channel. Walsh proposed 24-hour rolling local news. If a cat goes missing they'll interview people who know the cat, have a reconstruction of the last time the cat was seen, get a vet in to explain the difference between a cat and a non-cat...
During a discussion about newsreaders:
Mack: I'm a traditionalist. I want a dicky bow, and I don't want to see anything from the waist down. But enough about my sex life.
Brooker is so emotionally dead that, in the vein of the little superimposed person performing sign language in the corner of some television programmes for the benefit of the deaf, he wants a little person pulling faces alongside the news to tell him how to feel.
Brooker thinks the airbag in cars should be replaced with a device that strangles you in the event of a crash, so you suffer less before you die.
Brooker: If you're travelling at a hundred miles per hour, it should strangle you before you hit a wall, because nothing's going to save you at that point.
Walsh: Brakes?
Brooker: ...I didn't think of those.
At some point between rounds, Mack became restless and started demanding a drink, calling on Cryer to back him up.
Mack: Barry is a senior member of the comedy community, and he wants another drink!
Cryer was evidently unimpressed by the 'senior member of the comedy community' comment.
Cryer: Have the visitors been? What day is it? They take your trousers when you sleep, you know.
Brooker: This is sort of simultaneously sweet and disturbing.
Cryer: Are you my son?
(Brooker bursts into awkward giggles)
Mack: No, that's just disturbing.
Cryer hates automated telephone services. Brooker apparently likes talking to machines.
Mack: (to Brooker) I imagine you have a toaster as a pet. And you let it sit in your lap, and you stroke it...
Walsh: You feed it bread.
Brooker seemed quite taken with the idea.
Brooker once overheard someone having an argument with his smartphone assistant. The phone went 'Sorry, I don't understand' a couple of times in response to voice commands; the man became very angry, got embarrassed about rowing in public and took the phone into a corner to hiss at it as if it were a real person. 'You always do this!'
Walsh expressed her distaste for baby showers.
Walsh: And you have to bring a present!
Brooker: Isn't that just the father of the child?
Walsh: No, they've already given their gift.
Mack: I like that excuse. I'm going to use that when my wife asks me to help with the children. 'I think you'll find I've already given my gift.'
Walsh: 'And I didn't even wrap it.'
Walsh: When people show me pictures of their babies, I load up my phone and show them pictures of really good lie-ins I've had. 'Oh, look at her, isn't she cute?' 'Look at this! I didn't get up until 2pm! Look at my little face!'
Mack said he pretended to vomit over baby pictures to get people to stop showing them to him.
Brooker: I just naturally vomit when I see a baby.
Mack: You know you're having a baby, Charlie?
Walsh: What a way to break it to him!
Mack: I saw a bottle of l'Oréal shampoo for £6.95, and I genuinely thought 'I'm just not worth it.'
Brooker: Where's the worst place to take someone on a date?
Mack: (without hesitation) Up the wrong 'un.
Brooker: Which one's the wrong 'un is a matter of opinion, surely.
Mack: And what did she say?
Mack: Look, I'm going to tell you this anecdote, and it's how I got angry about something ridiculous, but I know it's ridiculous, so don't judge me.
Brooker: That's... my role.
Calman: I hate anything spontaneous, I hate surprises...
Mack: BOO!
It took Calman a long moment and a long sip of her pint to recover.
The panel discussed how a guide cat (as opposed to a guide dog) wouldn't work because it would jump up on walls or deliberately take you somewhere horrible.
Brooker: I want a guide cat! I'd get one and just close my eyes and see where it led me. Every day would be an adventure!
Calman: (to Mack, apropos of nothing) I like you. I don't know why. I just do.
Mack: ...good.
Later, when Calman was talking about the special cupboard in which she keeps her provisions for the apocalypse, including a map to the nearest port:
Mack: Oh, I thought, being Scottish, you meant a map to the nearest bottle of port.
Calman: (glares) And we were getting on so well. We were on the verge of mating and producing a super transformer being that would solve the problems between England and Scotland. No longer.
Calman told us how she went out to walk one of her cats in a harness attached to a lead and someone called the police.
Calman: I probably shouldn't have been wearing my pyjamas.
Brooker: Nobody has the forethought to wrestle their cat into a harness and then doesn't bother to get changed out of their pyjamas.
Calman: Once you've got the cat into the harness, you're too exhausted to change! I was only going to the shop! Besides, they were nice pyjamas. I'm not a scab; I have nice pyjamas.
Brooker: ...what sort of pyjamas would a scab wear? All ragged and tattered?
Calman: You know when you see people wearing pyjamas that are skintight and completely see-through?
Brooker: That's clingfilm.
Calman and her cats had me laughing more than anything else in the recording. They all sit around together and watch YouTube videos of cats doing funny things! They have middle names! She has songs for each of her three cats, which she sings when the cat in question come into the room!
Brooker: There must be serial killers who break into your house and run away terrified.
When the middle name thing came to light:
Brooker: But if they have middle names they must have surnames.
Calman: Well, obviously they're all Calman!
Brooker: (staaaaares)
Calman: (appealing to the audience) Come on, does no one else... no? This is why the Internet is my only friend.
Brooker: What about your cats?
Calman: They're children.
Brooker: Jesus Christ.
Later, it arose that Calman doesn't like physical contact.
Calman: I like a firm handshake, no matter what my relationship with someone. Even if we're in a bed relationship.
Brooker: You shake hands in the bedroom? That's the sickest thing I've ever heard.
Calman: Everything leaves a trace, doesn't it? (addressing Brooker) I hug you, you go away, something happens to you, you get murdered, I'm in the dock.
Calman: I'm saying, you know, shake hands with the person working at the checkout, that's fine, it's nice, but kissing and hugging...
Brooker: To be honest, I've never been tempted to go any further with a person at a checkout.
Calman: ...well, there is this one girl at the supermarket where I live, and I do - I do like to play this game called Try and Touch the Checkout Girl.
Brooker: You're such a hypocrite!
Daniel: If you do get arrested for murder, it's not going to be because you left traces of your DNA by hugging someone.
Brooker: So, Daniel... may I call you Daniel? I mean, I have been calling you Daniel all evening.
Daniel: You can call me Daniel. I notice you're not using your other special name for me.
Brooker: What's the safeword?
Regarding variants of the phrase 'Keep Calm and Carry On':
Brooker: There's one particularly annoying one that says 'Keep Calm and Eat a Cupcake'. CUPCAKES ARE RUBBISH. They're a waste of... what's in a cupcake, sugar and butter?
Daniel: Air and hate.
Daniel expressed his dislike of cryptic status updates on Facebook.
Daniel: You really see the difference between men and women with those. Because when someone posts a status update saying 'Can't believe it's happened again!', all the comments are their female friends going 'Hope you're OK babes xx', 'Call me if you need to talk x'. And the men just tentatively go '...like?'
Brooker: ...Susan, I have to ask: do your cats have Facebook accounts?
Calman: No!
Brooker: Oh, right, because that would be ridiculous.
Calman: They don't have thumbs.
Brooker: What's the worst way to describe yourself on a dating website?
Calman: 'Not on any UK registers.'
Mack: I once called up More Than Insurance and asked them what they did besides insurance. And he said, 'Nothing.' And I said, 'Well, how can you call yourselves More Than Insurance?'
Brooker: We have to mention all the other insurance providers, now. (note for those unaware: this is because the BBC isn't allowed to advertise; it has to point out, 'hey, there are other insurance providers, we're not just pointing you towards More Than!')
Mack: I once called up Churchill Insurance and asked them what they did besides insurance. And he said... well, you know what he said: 'Oh, no.' And I said, 'Well, how can you call yourselves More Than Insurance?' And he said, 'We don't.'
The episodes should be broadcast on Radio 4 at some point in May, I believe. I hope you enjoyed this report!
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I am currently tempted to go to the Edinburgh Festival JUST TO SEE HER SHOW.
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I didn't think it was possible for me to get more in love with Charlie Brooker than I was. And yet...
I really hope that makes the edit. But even if not, I will have had the joy of it through your write-up. You provide a valuable community service!
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<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
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Charlie's recent nervous giggling after his baby rant on 10 O'Clock Live makes so much more sense now that I know he's about to become a dad. I'd missed this news!
I adore Susan Calman. She was equally adorable/terrifying on HIGNFY.
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(I can't stop picturing pregnant Charlie Brooker and his legion of soldiers! Damn you, literal-mindedness!)
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Lee and Charlie should be on everything together. Ever.
(and have awkward threesomes with David).Also, I love Holly Walsh.
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Secondly, you remembered all this? Did you use pen and paper? I envy your memory!
THIRDLY I WANT TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH SUSAN. We can have our cats be friends too.
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I scribbled all of this down in the gap between the two recordings and on my journey home. My memory's fairly dire, to be honest, but I concentrate very hard on remembering things at recordings so I can write things up properly.
She would certainly be an interesting friend to have! I was laughing uncontrollably as the cat-related revelations just got weirder and weirder.
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Well, my aunt and uncle have 9 cats (and now a dog too), plus I have three (at home, not at uni, although I go through horrible withdrawals), so I'm sure we could creep out the world together with stories!
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Calman: No!
Brooker: Oh, right, because that would be ridiculous.
Calman: They don't have thumbs.
Now I'm wondering if Charlie Brooker actually knows about Catbook and Dogbook. (Facebook features where dog and cat owners can post their pets. My sister-in-law has Dogbook where she posts dog pictures and things.)
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i'e got some tickets for he week afer next, i can't wait!
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I won't remember anything of it because I will be sat there in awe and amazement, but I will go to one of these recordings.
Also, I loved the microphone testing part! It just seems like something that Charlie would do.
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Susan Calman is great. Did you see the interview (http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2012/mar/03/susan-calman-saturday-interview?INTCMP=SRCH) with her in the Guardian last weekend? I enjoyed it, although there are some rather disturbing anecdotes about heckling.