"You couldn't have caught him," James said, staring at Jeremy's passenger. He certainly looked like Richard, but that was obviously impossible. "How were you able to see him in this light?"
Jeremy suddenly looked shifty, and, after a moment, James realised why.
"...Did you strap headlights to the front of your broom?"
"I wanted it to feel more carlike," Jeremy said with a shrug.
"That's cheating!" Richard said indignantly. "No modifications, remember?"
"That just saved your life! Do you really think I'd have seen you in time otherwise?" He switched them on, illuminating the space around them with a light quite adequate for spotting a falling Richard Hammond. "I'd sort of hoped you wouldn't notice, but you cunningly tricked me into revealing them by almost getting yourself killed."
Richard, torn between relief at being saved and rage at the fact that he had been saved by a cheating Jeremy Clarkson, made an odd noise that could have been interpreted in a dozen different ways and hastily withdrew his arms from Jeremy's waist when he realised that one of them was lust.
"It's cold, Hammond," James said, with the subtlest of evil smiles. "Get back on the carpet. We can huddle together for warmth."
Richard's eyes widened. "Er, I think I'll just stay here with Jeremy, thanks."
"You will not," Jeremy said. "I want as little weight on here as possible, and even The Smallest Man In The World would be dragging me back. Get back to your boyfriend."
"This whole race is a bit pointless, isn't it?" James asked Jeremy, as Richard stepped gingerly back onto the flying carpet. "We're both going as the crow flies, so all we can really establish is which one's faster in a straight line. We could have done that without going to Japan."
"It's not just that. I mean, we already know that you're sitting on a silly rag with all the aerodynamic properties of a sheep, but in a long-distance race we can find out everything else that's wrong with it. It's already nearly killed Hammond, for one thing." He paused. "I'm not entirely sure that's really a disadvantage, though."
"Oh, thanks."
"Still," James said, "if we're going by essentially the same route - "
"It's a bloody good thing we're going by essentially the same route, James, because it means that I can save your lives when you fall off that deathtrap of a flying machine. Of course, I won't be able to do that for much longer, because in a few minutes I'll be miles out in front of you. I'm only back here now because my broom was a little bit on fire."
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Jeremy suddenly looked shifty, and, after a moment, James realised why.
"...Did you strap headlights to the front of your broom?"
"I wanted it to feel more carlike," Jeremy said with a shrug.
"That's cheating!" Richard said indignantly. "No modifications, remember?"
"That just saved your life! Do you really think I'd have seen you in time otherwise?" He switched them on, illuminating the space around them with a light quite adequate for spotting a falling Richard Hammond. "I'd sort of hoped you wouldn't notice, but you cunningly tricked me into revealing them by almost getting yourself killed."
Richard, torn between relief at being saved and rage at the fact that he had been saved by a cheating Jeremy Clarkson, made an odd noise that could have been interpreted in a dozen different ways and hastily withdrew his arms from Jeremy's waist when he realised that one of them was lust.
"It's cold, Hammond," James said, with the subtlest of evil smiles. "Get back on the carpet. We can huddle together for warmth."
Richard's eyes widened. "Er, I think I'll just stay here with Jeremy, thanks."
"You will not," Jeremy said. "I want as little weight on here as possible, and even The Smallest Man In The World would be dragging me back. Get back to your boyfriend."
"This whole race is a bit pointless, isn't it?" James asked Jeremy, as Richard stepped gingerly back onto the flying carpet. "We're both going as the crow flies, so all we can really establish is which one's faster in a straight line. We could have done that without going to Japan."
"It's not just that. I mean, we already know that you're sitting on a silly rag with all the aerodynamic properties of a sheep, but in a long-distance race we can find out everything else that's wrong with it. It's already nearly killed Hammond, for one thing." He paused. "I'm not entirely sure that's really a disadvantage, though."
"Oh, thanks."
"Still," James said, "if we're going by essentially the same route - "
"It's a bloody good thing we're going by essentially the same route, James, because it means that I can save your lives when you fall off that deathtrap of a flying machine. Of course, I won't be able to do that for much longer, because in a few minutes I'll be miles out in front of you. I'm only back here now because my broom was a little bit on fire."