How Hard Can It Be?

[rionaleonhart]

Have a Top Gear clip: Clarkson in a Bugatti Veyron races Hammond and May, who are travelling on a private plane piloted by Captain Slow himself. As always, it all goes horribly wrong.

But not quite as horribly wrong as the race to Oslo:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five.
In which every possible disaster occurs and leaves the boys stranded in the middle of nowhere. It is glorious.

If you haven't got half an hour to spare, there's a two-minute clip here in which they stage the best protest ever. With fluffy leopardskin handcuffs.

I have become a raving Jeremy Clarkson/Porsche Carrera GT ‘shipper. No, seriously. When he was driving it - “I have never felt this before. I’ve never felt anything like it.” - honestly, no matter how glorious Clarkson/Hammond/May may be, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop pairing Jeremy Clarkson up with cars.

I really do love this show. Clarkson, when speaking about the turbo charges on the diesel version of a BMW Some Number Beginning With Five (about two minutes and fifteen seconds into the clip), says, “Now, I know most of you won’t be interested in this, so on the left-hand side of the screen now there are some fluffy kittens for you to look at.” You don’t usually get that level of thoughtfulness on TV. (And the kittens were adorable.)

Richard Hammond, when describing the Honda Civic Type R, says, “If it were in a porn film, it would play the stable-lad or the plumber, rather than the smooth international businessman.” Clarkson says of the Porsche Cayenne Turbo that ‘it has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis’.

Top Gear has the weirdest analogies ever.

Also, I am incredibly curious as to how high the bidding would have gone if Clarkson actually had auctioned off an evening with Hammond.

dracothelizard has suggested Captain Jack Harkness/the Top Gear team. I mention this in the hope that the idea will burrow into someone else's brain and force them to write it, because it's the last thing I should be doing right now.

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

Here! The kittens come in at about 2.15.

I know I suggested this BUT I think this will depend on what Torchwood will be like, because you can obviously bring the two together because Torchwood thinks Stig is an alien. And then there is shagging, because naturally Captain Jack is sent to investigate.

You really are able to create a crackfic crossover prompt for any occasion, aren't you? I don't know how you manage it.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I choose to arbitrarily blame my Dutchness. The crack flows in my veins. Otherwise, I have no explanation!