rionaleonhart | How Hard Can It Be?

Have a Top Gear clip: Clarkson in a Bugatti Veyron races Hammond and May, who are travelling on a private plane piloted by Captain Slow himself. As always, it all goes horribly wrong.

But not quite as horribly wrong as the race to Oslo:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five.
In which every possible disaster occurs and leaves the boys stranded in the middle of nowhere. It is glorious.

If you haven't got half an hour to spare, there's a two-minute clip here in which they stage the best protest ever. With fluffy leopardskin handcuffs.

I have become a raving Jeremy Clarkson/Porsche Carrera GT ‘shipper. No, seriously. When he was driving it - “I have never felt this before. I’ve never felt anything like it.” - honestly, no matter how glorious Clarkson/Hammond/May may be, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop pairing Jeremy Clarkson up with cars.

I really do love this show. Clarkson, when speaking about the turbo charges on the diesel version of a BMW Some Number Beginning With Five (about two minutes and fifteen seconds into the clip), says, “Now, I know most of you won’t be interested in this, so on the left-hand side of the screen now there are some fluffy kittens for you to look at.” You don’t usually get that level of thoughtfulness on TV. (And the kittens were adorable.)

Richard Hammond, when describing the Honda Civic Type R, says, “If it were in a porn film, it would play the stable-lad or the plumber, rather than the smooth international businessman.” Clarkson says of the Porsche Cayenne Turbo that ‘it has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis’.

Top Gear has the weirdest analogies ever.

Also, I am incredibly curious as to how high the bidding would have gone if Clarkson actually had auctioned off an evening with Hammond.

dracothelizard has suggested Captain Jack Harkness/the Top Gear team. I mention this in the hope that the idea will burrow into someone else's brain and force them to write it, because it's the last thing I should be doing right now.

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"and a slew of James/Jonathan bunnies came with me..."

Yay!

Does this mean you actually have a story of sorts now?

"The last appearence of Ghost!Russell was a hoot!"

I LOVE Russell and Kyle together. It's just so stupid, Russell Watson is a real person I know nothing about, and Kyle Katarn is a Jedi I know nothing about, and together they have appeared in all three of my Nano's!

Does this mean you actually have a story of sorts now?

Lets not get carried away here! Yeah, I have a basic... thing. I hesitate to call it a plot. It's all handwritten scribbles at the moment though, and there's this bit I can't figure out because the car was moving at the time and it sort of slopes off the page...

"I have a basic... thing."

Well, a thing is always good to have. Remember, there's supposed to be juvenile making out in the back, and I think we agreed that they could bond over Jonathan's lack of driving skills or something.

There is making out in the back seat... that's when Maddy finds them, actually.

and I think we agreed that they could bond over Jonathan's lack of driving skills or something.

Well, they have this very loaded conversation that's (on the surface) about the mystery-that-isn't and James takes Jonathan off in an Alfa, (backseats for the making out in) to try and change his mind about cars, so I think that counts?

"they have this very loaded conversation that's (on the surface) about the mystery-that-isn't"

I like this idea and I would like to hear more.

"James takes Jonathan off in an Alfa, (backseats for the making out in) to try and change his mind about cars,"

Yay! I do hope that Jeremy goes 'WHAT?!' a lot when he finds out Jonathan has no driver's license.

I like this idea and I would like to hear more.

The mystery-that-isn't, or the loaded conversation?

Yay! I do hope that Jeremy goes 'WHAT?!' a lot when he finds out Jonathan has no driver's license.

Of course! I need to write him and Maddy arguing a lot too... hmm...

"The mystery-that-isn't, or the loaded conversation?"

Both!

"Of course! I need to write him and Maddy arguing a lot too... hmm..."

While Jeremy and Maddy argue, James can whisk Jonathan away and then once Maddy punched Jeremy, she can go 'Hang on, where's Jonathan?'

And Richard can cuddle TG or something while all this happens.

Well, the mystery-that-isn't is just someone being mischevious, it's not that interesting, but it does set up a few things... like that conversation...

*-*-*-*

"I quite enjoy it, you know," he lay back against the slope, arms crossed under his head, and sighed in contentment before continuing, "the detective bit. Sometimes. When there's someone around to ask good questions."

He kept his gaze on the clouds, missed the slight twitch at the corner of James's mouth.

"Maddy doesn't?"

Jonathan smiled.

"She asks loud questions!"

"I see."

*-*-*-*

There's more than that, of course, and Jonathan wides James up a bit, and then there's the car... *g*

I need to get all this typed up and finished...

And Richard can cuddle TG or something while all this happens.

I've got other plans for him...

"I've got other plans for him..."

Is he doing the mischievous thing?

"There's more than that, of course, and Jonathan wides James up a bit, and then there's the car..."

I STILL want to know more even though that bit is lovely. And of course Jonathan secretly likes the detective bit, for all the moaning he does about it.

Is he doing the mischievous thing?

Not really... *g* (*is mysterious, to avoid people noticing she has bad ideas*)

I STILL want to know more even though that bit is lovely. And of course Jonathan secretly likes the detective bit, for all the moaning he does about it.

I've always thought that too, he'd never EVER admit it, but i think he does, a bit.

"*is mysterious, to avoid people noticing she has bad ideas*"

Awwr, you knew all about the Stig's evil, evil plan! Well, you DID help me think of it, so that's only fair.

Ooooh! TG is doing the mischievous thing!

"he'd never EVER admit it, but i think he does, a bit."

He loves figuring things out and then being all quietly smug to Maddy when she doesn't get it yet.

Awwr, you knew all about the Stig's evil, evil plan! Well, you DID help me think of it, so that's only fair.

Heh, I'll spam you with a bit more when I've got it all typed up, ok?

Ooooh! TG is doing the mischievous thing!

*laughs* Now I want to read a mystery where the dog is the culprit, just for yuks!

He loves figuring things out and then being all quietly smug to Maddy when she doesn't get it yet.

True... and that should have said 'admit it to maddy' since he just has admitted it, but then, James won't tell ;)

"Heh, I'll spam you with a bit more when I've got it all typed up, ok?"

I love spam like that :D

"Now I want to read a mystery where the dog is the culprit, just for yuks!"

Riona thought that TG might simply be hiding in a cupboard in the office in my Who Let The Dog Out fic. Thing is, it is quite plausible for TG to do that and fall asleep there.

"James won't tell ;)"

Hurrah! I'm sure James knows all about being quietly smug at people.

There is making out in the back seat... that's when Maddy finds them, actually.

I THINK I MAY SORT OF DESPERATELY HAVE TO READ THIS RIGHT NOW.

How Hard Can It Be?

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