Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-09-11 07:59 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-09-11 07:59 pm
Entry tags:
How Hard Can It Be?
Have a Top Gear clip: Clarkson in a Bugatti Veyron races Hammond and May, who are travelling on a private plane piloted by Captain Slow himself. As always, it all goes horribly wrong.
But not quite as horribly wrong as the race to Oslo:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five.
In which every possible disaster occurs and leaves the boys stranded in the middle of nowhere. It is glorious.
If you haven't got half an hour to spare, there's a two-minute clip here in which they stage the best protest ever. With fluffy leopardskin handcuffs.
I have become a raving Jeremy Clarkson/Porsche Carrera GT ‘shipper. No, seriously. When he was driving it - “I have never felt this before. I’ve never felt anything like it.” - honestly, no matter how glorious Clarkson/Hammond/May may be, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop pairing Jeremy Clarkson up with cars.
I really do love this show. Clarkson, when speaking about the turbo charges on the diesel version of a BMW Some Number Beginning With Five (about two minutes and fifteen seconds into the clip), says, “Now, I know most of you won’t be interested in this, so on the left-hand side of the screen now there are some fluffy kittens for you to look at.” You don’t usually get that level of thoughtfulness on TV. (And the kittens were adorable.)
Richard Hammond, when describing the Honda Civic Type R, says, “If it were in a porn film, it would play the stable-lad or the plumber, rather than the smooth international businessman.” Clarkson says of the Porsche Cayenne Turbo that ‘it has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis’.
Top Gear has the weirdest analogies ever.
Also, I am incredibly curious as to how high the bidding would have gone if Clarkson actually had auctioned off an evening with Hammond.
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dracothelizard has suggested Captain Jack Harkness/the Top Gear team. I mention this in the hope that the idea will burrow into someone else's brain and force them to write it, because it's the last thing I should be doing right now.
But not quite as horribly wrong as the race to Oslo:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five.
In which every possible disaster occurs and leaves the boys stranded in the middle of nowhere. It is glorious.
If you haven't got half an hour to spare, there's a two-minute clip here in which they stage the best protest ever. With fluffy leopardskin handcuffs.
I have become a raving Jeremy Clarkson/Porsche Carrera GT ‘shipper. No, seriously. When he was driving it - “I have never felt this before. I’ve never felt anything like it.” - honestly, no matter how glorious Clarkson/Hammond/May may be, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop pairing Jeremy Clarkson up with cars.
I really do love this show. Clarkson, when speaking about the turbo charges on the diesel version of a BMW Some Number Beginning With Five (about two minutes and fifteen seconds into the clip), says, “Now, I know most of you won’t be interested in this, so on the left-hand side of the screen now there are some fluffy kittens for you to look at.” You don’t usually get that level of thoughtfulness on TV. (And the kittens were adorable.)
Richard Hammond, when describing the Honda Civic Type R, says, “If it were in a porn film, it would play the stable-lad or the plumber, rather than the smooth international businessman.” Clarkson says of the Porsche Cayenne Turbo that ‘it has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis’.
Top Gear has the weirdest analogies ever.
Also, I am incredibly curious as to how high the bidding would have gone if Clarkson actually had auctioned off an evening with Hammond.
dracothelizard has suggested Captain Jack Harkness/the Top Gear team. I mention this in the hope that the idea will burrow into someone else's brain and force them to write it, because it's the last thing I should be doing right now.
no subject
Oh, fantastic. So not only had they been teleported into the sky without so much as a by-your-leave, but they were standing on something invisible that they could fall off at any moment.
"I wasn't planning on it myself, but Hammond might have some trouble there," Jeremy said loudly, his eyes on the ever-so-slightly-swaying Richard. "I'm going to guess that you're Jack. It wasn't exactly a brilliant idea to get him drunk and then stick him on something that could kill him if he loses his balance, was it?"
Jack swore. "Okay, wait a second."
The London landscape beneath his feet rippled, to be replaced by the sleek black hull of the sort of spaceship he used to daydream about. Even though Jeremy had decided that he was going to hate the purported car-beater as soon as Richard had mentioned it, he had to admit that it was fairly impressive.
He felt much more at ease now that he was able to see where his feet were. Granted, an enormous spaceship tethered to Big Ben wasn't exactly the sort of thing he was used to, but after being teleported up onto an invisible surface it seemed really rather normal and obvious.
An irritatingly good-looking young man clambered up out of a hatch in the floor and grinned at him. "That better?"
Jeremy stared.
"No wonder you got on so well with Hammond. You were just bonding over your teeth, weren't you?"
no subject
There needs to be more of this.
no subject
I love it very much but I'm not going to be able to express it properly because I am overwhelmed by the fact that you wrote it and that it works and that it is sheer loveliness.
One thing though, where's James?
And if you get Top Gear Dog involved somehow, I will love you lots.