Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2019-01-03 01:39 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2019-01-03 01:39 pm
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Old Fanfiction Book Club: Rachel's Pokémon Journey, Part One
Starting off the new year with a project, shamelessly stolen from seeingpenguins: it's time to revisit and annotate my earliest work of fanfiction!
If you were in the Pokémon fandom in your youth, there's at least an eighty percent chance you've written about a thinly veiled version of yourself going on a Pokémon journey, and I'm no exception. I started writing Rachel's Pokémon Journey in the October of 2000, at the age of twelve. It is an absolute mess, and for a while I was very embarrassed by it, but by now I can look back at it with fondness. There's such a heartfelt innocence to it!
Alas, I never finished this fic (my inability to finish chaptered fics goes right back to my earliest writing days), but it got to about 15,000 words.
Here are my original author's notes on the first chapter on fanfiction.net; read them to be instantly transported twenty years back in time.
Heya! ^_^ I'm Riona, a new author, and this is my FIRST EVER FICCY! Comments, suggestions, death threats? Liked it? Hated it? Gonna stab me in my sleep? R&R! Bear in mind that this is my first ever fic - be gentle! *cringes* Nah, really, I can take it! Aaaaaanyway, here it is. Beware my crapness. Raaah.
DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own Pokémon. You'll have to look somewhere else.
WARNING: This fic is absolutely AWFUL, being written by yours truly *bows*. If you want GOOD fics, you'll have to look somewhere else for them too.
If I spell things wrong, kill me. Uhh... that was random. Ah well. Go on now, read!
And here's the start of the fic itself! Annotations are in bold.
My name is Rachel. And this is the story of a Pokémon journey.
It all started on my 12th birthday. I had been really excited about getting my Pokémon Trainer's Licence. Of course I wanted to start at ten, but videos of Ash had put starting so young right out of my mind. I needed to complete my course at Pokémon Training School, which, if a little expensive, sure is worth it. They train you to train your Pokémon. We were given something like a Caterpie to train. We walked around a little enclosure with a few Pokémon in, which we would fight and try to capture. I wanted to keep the ones I caught, but you had to give them to the school.
RACHEL IS TWELVE, JUST LIKE ME. What a curious coincidence. I like that I'd thought 'better give an actual reason I'm not starting at ten, otherwise no one will be convinced.'
I also love the mention of 'videos of Ash'. Apparently the Pokémon anime exists as a documentary in my version of the Pokémon universe.
Interesting that I start my Pokémon journey on my birthday, like Ash. It makes sense to start on your tenth birthday, as that's the first day you can legally start training Pokémon (I think? I think it's said somewhere you have to be ten), but there's no particular reason I had to wait until my birthday if I was older than ten.
I woke up super-early, wolfed down my breakfast and was out of the door on my way to Professor Oak's lab before you could say 'Squirtle'! On the way I bumped into my friend Danielle. She had just turned twelve too. We had the same birthday, the same likes and dislikes, and we really liked each other. We were just born to be friends.
EXCELLENT ESTABLISHMENT OF FRIENDSHIP. I'M A MASTER OF SHOWING.
Did I actually think 'having the same birthday' was grounds for friendship, or had I just somehow got it into my head that you can only start your Pokémon journey on your birthday? Danielle was based on a friend of mine from primary school, but she didn't have the same birthday as me.
Anyway, remember this 'WE'RE BEST FRIENDS, THE BESTEST FRIENDS' paragraph and try to see whether there's a single sign of friendship between Rachel and Danielle in this story. 'Danielle' and I had sort of drifted apart by the time I wrote this, and part of this fic is me pretty transparently working through my feelings about that.
"Hi, Danielle!"
"Oh, hi Rachel!"
"Trainer's licence?"
"Yeah."
We reached Oak's lab and charged inside. The place was a sea of people. In the middle was Oak, holding a pile of small envelopes. Around him were several tables with lots of numbered Pokéballs on them in little piles.
I wonder whether all those people also had their birthdays today.
"Everyone line up to receive your Pokémon Trainer's licence! I will also give you an envelope. On the card inside is a number. Whichever Pokémon is inside the Pokéball with that number on is your starter Pokémon. Feel free to hold battles. You may also say if you want a 'rival'. Your 'rival' will hold regular battles with you. This may improve your skills as a Pokémon Trainer. Remember to collect your Pokédex before you leave." It was Oak speaking.
I'm fascinated by this 'your first Pokémon is randomly assigned' concept. Where did that come from? Also curious is the concept of your rival being assigned to you as a testing measure, rather than just being someone you've developed a natural rivalry with.
I decided to have a 'rival'. I wanted to see if I was keeping up. I collected my licence and an envelope. My number was 8. I turned around and bumped into Danielle.
"Which number did you get?" she asked.
"Eight," I said.
MY FAVOURITE NUMBER AS A CHILD, WHAT A COINCIDENCE
"Oh. I got ten, where is it?"
"I saw ten on the table over there. Good luck!"
She nodded and walked over to the table. I searched for a while, and eventually found number eight.
"Be lucky," I muttered. "Pokéball, GO!"
The first chapter was only four hundred words, so I might as well do the second now as well. (I don't have the heart to leave you on that UNBEARABLE CLIFFHANGER.)
Original author's note for this chapter: Wow, you actually went onto the next chapter? ^_^ *is so proud*
"VULLLLLLPIX!"
"Oh, a Vulpix! It's so cute!"
I suppose the 'your Pokémon is assigned to you' concept was my way of saying 'look, the system's different here, don't complain that I'm not getting a traditional starter.' I was always slightly heartbroken that I had Red version and therefore couldn't catch a Vulpix of my own. I'm a little surprised that I didn't start with Bulbasaur, though; it's my favourite Pokémon and it is one of the starters.
"Yeah, it's really sweet"
Danielle is saying this very flatly. Not that I gave any indication of this in the text, unless my failure to include a full stop was intended to indicate tone.
"Danielle?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "Danielle."
"Oh!" I said. "Is that your Bulbasaur? It's really nice."
DANIELLE'S GOT THE BULBASAUR THAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE, WHAT IS THIS
"Yeah." She had a really sweet Bulbasaur beside her, but she seemed exasperated.
"What's the matter?"
"My rival. He's the matter."
"Who?"
"Him." She pointed to a really thicko guy behind her.
I don't know how I know on sight that this guy is 'really thicko'.
"I challenge you to a Pokey-mon battle," he said slowly and stupidly.
"Oh, fine," Danielle said. "Bulbasaur, GO!"
"Then I choose MAGIKARP!" yelled the Supernerd.
He's a Super Nerd! Which apparently, in my mind, means he's stupid? Actually, I very vaguely remember discussing this fic with the real 'Danielle'; I think 'my rival is a really stupid Super Nerd with a Magikarp' was her idea.
Also: what the fuck, Professor Oak, you can't give someone a Magikarp as their starter Pokémon. I'm now picturing Professor Oak cackling all the way through the ensuing battle.
"Oh, great" groaned Danielle. "This is going to be soooooo hard."
"That's right," yelled the Supernerd, having no idea that she was being sarcastic. "Okay Magikarp, use your SWIFT!"
"Karp-karp-magikarp," said the Magikarp, flopping around uselessly.
"Come on! Okay then, SING!"
"Ma-ahgiikarp, magika-ahah-arp. Ma-ahgiikarp, mahagiiiiiiiiiii," sang Magikarp in a not-very-enchanting voice.
Okay, I'll admit that the idea of Magikarp attempting the Jigglypuff song made me smile. It's trying!
"Idiot! Bulbasaur, tackle."
Magikarp fainted! (Big surprise.)
Look, guys, it's not the Super Nerd's fault that Professor Oak gave him a Pokémon that can't battle. Come to think of it, it doesn't say much for Oak's confidence in Danielle that he assigned the guy with the Magikarp to be her rival.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! YOU KILLED MAGIKARP!"
"Calm down, Dumbo, it's only fainted."
"But- you KILLED him!"
"Karp?"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! IT'S A GHOST!" yelled Mr. Thicko.
"Oh, god" Danielle groaned. "I'll just leave you to scream at your 'ghost' than, shall I?"
"Honestly!" I said. "Danielle, that rival of yours, he's just absolutely..."
"Will the owner of Number 8 please come here to register and collect their Pokédex?"
"Hey- that's me! Bye, gotta go," I said quickly to Danielle.
"Hello, Rachel," smiled Professor Oak, handing me my Pokédex. "You wanted a rival, didn't you?"
"I've always wondered, Oak. Why are they called 'rivals?' Why not 'regular opponents?' Because it's fixed, isn't it?"
Apparently, even when I was writing this, I was aware that the concept of having your rival assigned to you was a bit weird. If you're hoping for a satisfying answer to the question Rachel asks here, I'm afraid you're about to be disappointed.
"I don't really know!" said Oak. "But yours is my son, James. See him over there?"
Yes. James. Professor Oak's son, James. It's a good thing there aren't any established characters named James in Pokémon; we wouldn't want this to be confusing.
I looked over. He really was quite good-looking. I felt myself blushing.
Professor Oak's son, James, who twelve-year-old Rachel has a crush on. In my head, I think he was a couple of years older than me, maybe around fifteen. It did not at any point occur to me that it might be strange for Professor Oak to have a fifteen-year-old child and a ten-year-old grandchild. I suppose it's not impossible, assuming James isn't Gary's father. Professor Oak's been banging younger women, we can conclude.
He had a sweet Eevee next to him, and my stomach gave a lurch. From my years in Pokémon Training School, I had learned that Eevee can evolve into one of 3 different Pokémon, depending on which Evolution Stone you use on it. And one of them- Vaporeon- could turn my Vulpix into toast.
I'm dubious about this metaphor.
Eevee were thought to be really rare until a couple of years ago, when it was discovered that there were in fact zillions, but really shy and good at hiding.
How convenient! This feels like a setup for Rachel to get an Eevee later, but, if that was the plan, the story never reached that point.
I stared at him for a while, until I realised that Oak had pushed a map, 5 Pokéballs and a small booklet into my hands. I read the title 'Regulations and Tips for the starting Pokémon Trainer.'
"Now, we need to register you and your Pokémon. Name?"
"Rachel."
There's paperwork! Everything's very structured in the Pokémon world in my head, it seems.
"Full name?"
"Rachel Katherine Charlotte."
THAT'S NOT A FULL NAME, WHERE'S YOUR SURNAME
Apparently Charlotte can be a surname, but I certainly didn't know that when I was twelve, and it's always bugged the hell out of me that twelve-year-old me went YEAH, RACHEL'S SURNAME CAN BE CHARLOTTE, JUST THROW A BUNCH OF GIRL NAMES TOGETHER.
"Age?"
"Twelve."
"Experience?"
"Three years at Pokémon Training School."
"Pokémon number?"
"Eight."
It does seem like our starters were randomly assigned, rather than being ones Oak personally picked out for us. I assume he'd already have our numbers recorded otherwise.
"Pokemon species?"
"Vulpix."
"Pokémon name?"
"I told you! It's a Vulpix!"
"No, that's its species name. I need its personal name, what you want to call it."
"Oh." I thought hard. "Um... I don't know."
"How about using the Name Randomiser? You enter in your Pokémon's species, and it suggests names for you. It's a wonderful invention."
"Hmmm... I'll try it," I decided.
Fingers trembling, I entered in 'Vulpix'
Fingers trembling! Naming your Pokémon is serious business.
The counters spun.
"Flame? No."
"Blaze? No."
"Polytail? No."
Some 'wonderful invention', Oak. I can't believe it tried to get me to call my Vulpix 'Polytail'.
I sighed and looked up at Oak. "This is no good. These names are all too clear. I want something- mysterious. Something that sounds as if it's hiding a secret."
Then it hit me. "Secret! That's perfect! I'll call my Vulpix Secret!"
That's enough riveting dialogue for now, I think! In the next instalment of Old Fanfiction Book Club: Rachel and Danielle actually set out on their Pokémon journey, having completed all the required paperwork at last. New Pokémon! New friends! New enemies???
seeingpenguins: it's time to revisit and annotate my earliest work of fanfiction!If you were in the Pokémon fandom in your youth, there's at least an eighty percent chance you've written about a thinly veiled version of yourself going on a Pokémon journey, and I'm no exception. I started writing Rachel's Pokémon Journey in the October of 2000, at the age of twelve. It is an absolute mess, and for a while I was very embarrassed by it, but by now I can look back at it with fondness. There's such a heartfelt innocence to it!
Alas, I never finished this fic (my inability to finish chaptered fics goes right back to my earliest writing days), but it got to about 15,000 words.
Here are my original author's notes on the first chapter on fanfiction.net; read them to be instantly transported twenty years back in time.
Heya! ^_^ I'm Riona, a new author, and this is my FIRST EVER FICCY! Comments, suggestions, death threats? Liked it? Hated it? Gonna stab me in my sleep? R&R! Bear in mind that this is my first ever fic - be gentle! *cringes* Nah, really, I can take it! Aaaaaanyway, here it is. Beware my crapness. Raaah.
DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own Pokémon. You'll have to look somewhere else.
WARNING: This fic is absolutely AWFUL, being written by yours truly *bows*. If you want GOOD fics, you'll have to look somewhere else for them too.
If I spell things wrong, kill me. Uhh... that was random. Ah well. Go on now, read!
And here's the start of the fic itself! Annotations are in bold.
My name is Rachel. And this is the story of a Pokémon journey.
It all started on my 12th birthday. I had been really excited about getting my Pokémon Trainer's Licence. Of course I wanted to start at ten, but videos of Ash had put starting so young right out of my mind. I needed to complete my course at Pokémon Training School, which, if a little expensive, sure is worth it. They train you to train your Pokémon. We were given something like a Caterpie to train. We walked around a little enclosure with a few Pokémon in, which we would fight and try to capture. I wanted to keep the ones I caught, but you had to give them to the school.
RACHEL IS TWELVE, JUST LIKE ME. What a curious coincidence. I like that I'd thought 'better give an actual reason I'm not starting at ten, otherwise no one will be convinced.'
I also love the mention of 'videos of Ash'. Apparently the Pokémon anime exists as a documentary in my version of the Pokémon universe.
Interesting that I start my Pokémon journey on my birthday, like Ash. It makes sense to start on your tenth birthday, as that's the first day you can legally start training Pokémon (I think? I think it's said somewhere you have to be ten), but there's no particular reason I had to wait until my birthday if I was older than ten.
I woke up super-early, wolfed down my breakfast and was out of the door on my way to Professor Oak's lab before you could say 'Squirtle'! On the way I bumped into my friend Danielle. She had just turned twelve too. We had the same birthday, the same likes and dislikes, and we really liked each other. We were just born to be friends.
EXCELLENT ESTABLISHMENT OF FRIENDSHIP. I'M A MASTER OF SHOWING.
Did I actually think 'having the same birthday' was grounds for friendship, or had I just somehow got it into my head that you can only start your Pokémon journey on your birthday? Danielle was based on a friend of mine from primary school, but she didn't have the same birthday as me.
Anyway, remember this 'WE'RE BEST FRIENDS, THE BESTEST FRIENDS' paragraph and try to see whether there's a single sign of friendship between Rachel and Danielle in this story. 'Danielle' and I had sort of drifted apart by the time I wrote this, and part of this fic is me pretty transparently working through my feelings about that.
"Hi, Danielle!"
"Oh, hi Rachel!"
"Trainer's licence?"
"Yeah."
We reached Oak's lab and charged inside. The place was a sea of people. In the middle was Oak, holding a pile of small envelopes. Around him were several tables with lots of numbered Pokéballs on them in little piles.
I wonder whether all those people also had their birthdays today.
"Everyone line up to receive your Pokémon Trainer's licence! I will also give you an envelope. On the card inside is a number. Whichever Pokémon is inside the Pokéball with that number on is your starter Pokémon. Feel free to hold battles. You may also say if you want a 'rival'. Your 'rival' will hold regular battles with you. This may improve your skills as a Pokémon Trainer. Remember to collect your Pokédex before you leave." It was Oak speaking.
I'm fascinated by this 'your first Pokémon is randomly assigned' concept. Where did that come from? Also curious is the concept of your rival being assigned to you as a testing measure, rather than just being someone you've developed a natural rivalry with.
I decided to have a 'rival'. I wanted to see if I was keeping up. I collected my licence and an envelope. My number was 8. I turned around and bumped into Danielle.
"Which number did you get?" she asked.
"Eight," I said.
MY FAVOURITE NUMBER AS A CHILD, WHAT A COINCIDENCE
"Oh. I got ten, where is it?"
"I saw ten on the table over there. Good luck!"
She nodded and walked over to the table. I searched for a while, and eventually found number eight.
"Be lucky," I muttered. "Pokéball, GO!"
The first chapter was only four hundred words, so I might as well do the second now as well. (I don't have the heart to leave you on that UNBEARABLE CLIFFHANGER.)
Original author's note for this chapter: Wow, you actually went onto the next chapter? ^_^ *is so proud*
"VULLLLLLPIX!"
"Oh, a Vulpix! It's so cute!"
I suppose the 'your Pokémon is assigned to you' concept was my way of saying 'look, the system's different here, don't complain that I'm not getting a traditional starter.' I was always slightly heartbroken that I had Red version and therefore couldn't catch a Vulpix of my own. I'm a little surprised that I didn't start with Bulbasaur, though; it's my favourite Pokémon and it is one of the starters.
"Yeah, it's really sweet"
Danielle is saying this very flatly. Not that I gave any indication of this in the text, unless my failure to include a full stop was intended to indicate tone.
"Danielle?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "Danielle."
"Oh!" I said. "Is that your Bulbasaur? It's really nice."
DANIELLE'S GOT THE BULBASAUR THAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE, WHAT IS THIS
"Yeah." She had a really sweet Bulbasaur beside her, but she seemed exasperated.
"What's the matter?"
"My rival. He's the matter."
"Who?"
"Him." She pointed to a really thicko guy behind her.
I don't know how I know on sight that this guy is 'really thicko'.
"I challenge you to a Pokey-mon battle," he said slowly and stupidly.
"Oh, fine," Danielle said. "Bulbasaur, GO!"
"Then I choose MAGIKARP!" yelled the Supernerd.
He's a Super Nerd! Which apparently, in my mind, means he's stupid? Actually, I very vaguely remember discussing this fic with the real 'Danielle'; I think 'my rival is a really stupid Super Nerd with a Magikarp' was her idea.
Also: what the fuck, Professor Oak, you can't give someone a Magikarp as their starter Pokémon. I'm now picturing Professor Oak cackling all the way through the ensuing battle.
"Oh, great" groaned Danielle. "This is going to be soooooo hard."
"That's right," yelled the Supernerd, having no idea that she was being sarcastic. "Okay Magikarp, use your SWIFT!"
"Karp-karp-magikarp," said the Magikarp, flopping around uselessly.
"Come on! Okay then, SING!"
"Ma-ahgiikarp, magika-ahah-arp. Ma-ahgiikarp, mahagiiiiiiiiiii," sang Magikarp in a not-very-enchanting voice.
Okay, I'll admit that the idea of Magikarp attempting the Jigglypuff song made me smile. It's trying!
"Idiot! Bulbasaur, tackle."
Magikarp fainted! (Big surprise.)
Look, guys, it's not the Super Nerd's fault that Professor Oak gave him a Pokémon that can't battle. Come to think of it, it doesn't say much for Oak's confidence in Danielle that he assigned the guy with the Magikarp to be her rival.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! YOU KILLED MAGIKARP!"
"Calm down, Dumbo, it's only fainted."
"But- you KILLED him!"
"Karp?"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! IT'S A GHOST!" yelled Mr. Thicko.
"Oh, god" Danielle groaned. "I'll just leave you to scream at your 'ghost' than, shall I?"
"Honestly!" I said. "Danielle, that rival of yours, he's just absolutely..."
"Will the owner of Number 8 please come here to register and collect their Pokédex?"
"Hey- that's me! Bye, gotta go," I said quickly to Danielle.
"Hello, Rachel," smiled Professor Oak, handing me my Pokédex. "You wanted a rival, didn't you?"
"I've always wondered, Oak. Why are they called 'rivals?' Why not 'regular opponents?' Because it's fixed, isn't it?"
Apparently, even when I was writing this, I was aware that the concept of having your rival assigned to you was a bit weird. If you're hoping for a satisfying answer to the question Rachel asks here, I'm afraid you're about to be disappointed.
"I don't really know!" said Oak. "But yours is my son, James. See him over there?"
Yes. James. Professor Oak's son, James. It's a good thing there aren't any established characters named James in Pokémon; we wouldn't want this to be confusing.
I looked over. He really was quite good-looking. I felt myself blushing.
Professor Oak's son, James, who twelve-year-old Rachel has a crush on. In my head, I think he was a couple of years older than me, maybe around fifteen. It did not at any point occur to me that it might be strange for Professor Oak to have a fifteen-year-old child and a ten-year-old grandchild. I suppose it's not impossible, assuming James isn't Gary's father. Professor Oak's been banging younger women, we can conclude.
He had a sweet Eevee next to him, and my stomach gave a lurch. From my years in Pokémon Training School, I had learned that Eevee can evolve into one of 3 different Pokémon, depending on which Evolution Stone you use on it. And one of them- Vaporeon- could turn my Vulpix into toast.
I'm dubious about this metaphor.
Eevee were thought to be really rare until a couple of years ago, when it was discovered that there were in fact zillions, but really shy and good at hiding.
How convenient! This feels like a setup for Rachel to get an Eevee later, but, if that was the plan, the story never reached that point.
I stared at him for a while, until I realised that Oak had pushed a map, 5 Pokéballs and a small booklet into my hands. I read the title 'Regulations and Tips for the starting Pokémon Trainer.'
"Now, we need to register you and your Pokémon. Name?"
"Rachel."
There's paperwork! Everything's very structured in the Pokémon world in my head, it seems.
"Full name?"
"Rachel Katherine Charlotte."
THAT'S NOT A FULL NAME, WHERE'S YOUR SURNAME
Apparently Charlotte can be a surname, but I certainly didn't know that when I was twelve, and it's always bugged the hell out of me that twelve-year-old me went YEAH, RACHEL'S SURNAME CAN BE CHARLOTTE, JUST THROW A BUNCH OF GIRL NAMES TOGETHER.
"Age?"
"Twelve."
"Experience?"
"Three years at Pokémon Training School."
"Pokémon number?"
"Eight."
It does seem like our starters were randomly assigned, rather than being ones Oak personally picked out for us. I assume he'd already have our numbers recorded otherwise.
"Pokemon species?"
"Vulpix."
"Pokémon name?"
"I told you! It's a Vulpix!"
"No, that's its species name. I need its personal name, what you want to call it."
"Oh." I thought hard. "Um... I don't know."
"How about using the Name Randomiser? You enter in your Pokémon's species, and it suggests names for you. It's a wonderful invention."
"Hmmm... I'll try it," I decided.
Fingers trembling, I entered in 'Vulpix'
Fingers trembling! Naming your Pokémon is serious business.
The counters spun.
"Flame? No."
"Blaze? No."
"Polytail? No."
Some 'wonderful invention', Oak. I can't believe it tried to get me to call my Vulpix 'Polytail'.
I sighed and looked up at Oak. "This is no good. These names are all too clear. I want something- mysterious. Something that sounds as if it's hiding a secret."
Then it hit me. "Secret! That's perfect! I'll call my Vulpix Secret!"
That's enough riveting dialogue for now, I think! In the next instalment of Old Fanfiction Book Club: Rachel and Danielle actually set out on their Pokémon journey, having completed all the required paperwork at last. New Pokémon! New friends! New enemies???
no subject
Also also, James is a very common name! Which you yourself have, iirc, taken creative note of. (James is also my name. Not long after picking it I had the thought that "lol, now I would fit into that one crossover".)
no subject
Well, maybe not. I don't really want you to be in Silent Hill.
no subject
Damn, I knew it was someone from that circle! I guess my instinct when I remember a mad crossover is to attribute it to you.
no subject