Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2019-04-08 09:50 am
rionaleonhart) wrote2019-04-08 09:50 am
Entry tags:
Fanfiction: Falling Down (Zanki Zero)
WHY DO I KEEP GETTING INTO FANDOMS WITH NO FANFICTION
I mean, it's sort of understandable in this case, because Zanki Zero isn't officially out in English-speaking regions until tomorrow. Apparently the English version was released a few weeks ago in Asia, though, so a Let's Play already exists, and I have fallen head-first into this weird game about love and friendship and human cloning.
Someone's got to kick off this fandom, and it's going to be me.
Title: Falling Down
Fandom: Zanki Zero: Last Beginning
Rating: somewhere on the PG-13/R border
Wordcount: 1,200
Summary: It isn't easy to overwrite the data on an X Key. Sometimes, something stays behind.
Warnings: Late-game spoilers (up to the end of stage 07), violence, strong references to suicide.
Haruto blinks up at the familiar ceiling of the garage. Extended again. He doesn’t think he made it to old age in the last cycle; how did he—
His entire body freezes up.
“Hey!” It’s Ryo’s voice. “Hey, I have a question. What the fuck?”
Haruto sits up in the vat, with effort; they’re always a little shaky and weak right after cloning, and right now he’s even shakier than usual. Ryo is there, as a young adult, arms folded and glowering at him.
“Don’t go dying when I’m not expecting it!” Ryo says. “It freaks me out! You were on, what, day five? What the hell managed to kill you in your bedroom?”
Haruto tries to climb out of the vat. It doesn’t really work; he’s shaking too badly, and his child-sized hands slip on the side. “You found my X Key?”
“Yeah.” Ryo helps him out of the vat, wraps him in the ragged piece of cloth they call a towel, lets Haruto lean against his side to keep himself upright. “I went to your room when you didn’t show up in the morning.”
Ryo’s too close, Haruto’s mind is whispering. He’s too close, it’s not safe, what if Kurosaki wakes up? But Haruto is a kid right now, with a kid’s strength, and no weapons; he can’t do too much damage, right?
As if in unwanted answer to his thoughts, Ryo shows him a makeshift knife: a sturdy blade of glass, wrapped with a length of vine to make a handle. The knife, the one Haruto used last night. Haruto’s stomach turns over twice and disappears.
“I found this with your clothes,” Ryo says. “Does it have anything to do with what happened?”
Haruto stares at it, paralysed. Kurosaki is stirring in the pit of his mind, a slow stretch, a yawn.
“Please,” Haruto whispers, “keep that away from me.”
“Yeah, man, of course,” Ryo says, his tone switching in an instant from pissed-off to concerned. He tucks the blade away. “Sorry. You probably don’t need to be interrogated right now. I guess I just freaked.”
“It’s not that,” Haruto says. Is he going to say this? “The X Key I’m using. You told me it used to belong to Yosuke Kurosaki, right? The serial killer?”
Ryo pauses. “I have a feeling I’m not going to like this.”
“I think he’s still on there,” Haruto says. “I mean, I kind of hope he’s still on there. I hope these aren’t just my own thoughts.”
He’s gained enough strength in his legs, by now, to stand on his own. Which is good, because Ryo probably isn’t going to want him leaning against him any more. He moves unsteadily away and focuses on pulling on the clothes Ryo must have set out for him, so he doesn’t have to look at Ryo.
He still has to hear the unease in Ryo’s voice, though.
“Thoughts like what?” Ryo asks.
Haruto pushes his glasses on. He never used to mind needing glasses. He kind of hates it now. It’s just another thing he and Kurosaki have in common.
“I stabbed myself last night,” he says.
Ryo heaves out a breath. “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of. Is there, like, any chance you could promise me it won’t happen again?”
Nothing else to occupy himself with. Haruto turns, reluctantly, to look at him.
“I mean, whatever you’re going through, you can talk about it with us, right?” Ryo asks, a little desperately, and suddenly Haruto remembers what happened to Ryo’s mother, and he feels like crap for letting Ryo be the one to discover the scene. “I care about you a lot. We all do.”
Haruto can’t say it. None of the others will want to be around him any more.
But maybe that’d be best. Safest.
“I had to stab someone,” he says. “I could feel him inside me; I knew I wouldn’t...” He pauses. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold out. I couldn’t control it.” Another pause. “So I decided it had to be me.”
It had taken a few attempts. He’d tried to make it quick for himself. But he’d been fighting for control of his hands with Kurosaki, and Kurosaki had wanted to kill someone slowly. Haruto had ended up bleeding out on the floor, too badly injured to do himself the mercy of finishing himself off.
Ryo is staring at him, wordless. Haruto can feel Kurosaki’s sick pleasure somewhere in his own chest, alongside the writhing guilt. He’s always fed off horrified expressions.
“Uh, holy shit, that’s really scary,” Ryo says.
Haruto is startled into laughter, somehow. He wasn’t expecting to hear it put so straightforwardly. “You’re not wrong.”
“So... what should I do?”
Haruto takes a deep breath. He can’t pretend it doesn’t scare him, but he’s died so many times already; what’s one more? “I think you should kill me. Don’t Extend me; just... keep my X Key somewhere. Or throw it into the ocean. That way you and the others will be safe.”
“What?” Ryo asks, incredulous. “No, dude, I mean what should I do to help you.”
Haruto hesitates. Frowns.
“I mean, yeah, I’m scared if that guy’s still hanging around,” Ryo says, “but you’re serious about fighting him, right? I mean, you stabbed yourself to protect us. I wanna help you fight.”
“I’m not safe,” Haruto says. “And he knows about X Keys, you said he broke mine, right? We can’t take the risk he’ll—”
“Look,” Ryo says, “I’m not definitely killing you to get rid of the chance maybe he’ll kill someone else. One hundred percent chance I lose someone I care about? Those odds stink. I’m taking the other option.”
“He could take out all of us,” Haruto says, in rising desperation. “You know that, right?” The idea of personally destroying all his friends, of being the last one standing with his hands full of broken X Keys...
Ryo shrugs. “He won’t. He’d have to get past you first.”
Kill Ryo. The words in the back of Haruto’s head are soft and even and inescapable. Call Sachika here and kill her in front of Ryo. Kill them all.
“I don’t know if I can beat him alone,” Haruto says.
Ryo grins. “Good thing you’re not alone, right? So when are you gonna tell me what I can do to help?”
Haruto’s always been embarrassed about crying in front of other people. He feels a tightness in his throat and looks away.
“Well,” he says, staring very hard at the wall and trying to keep his voice level, “there are... there are times it’s harder to keep him under control, I guess. Like... when I’m trying to get to sleep, when I’m just waking up. And I wouldn’t know if he’s doing anything when I’m actually sleeping. So... maybe, at night, it’d be a good idea to...”
He takes a few deep breaths, until he feels a little steadier. Looks over at Ryo again.
“Maybe someone should tie me up,” he says.
Ryo claps his hands to his mouth, looking delighted. “Oh, man, yes. Yes! I can absolutely do that.”
“You could at least pretend to be less happy about this,” Haruto mutters. But somehow he finds himself smiling.
Maybe they’ll be okay. He’s not alone in his head, and Yosuke Kurosaki is a danger. But he’s not alone outside his head either.
They’re a team. They’ll get through this.
I mean, it's sort of understandable in this case, because Zanki Zero isn't officially out in English-speaking regions until tomorrow. Apparently the English version was released a few weeks ago in Asia, though, so a Let's Play already exists, and I have fallen head-first into this weird game about love and friendship and human cloning.
Someone's got to kick off this fandom, and it's going to be me.
Title: Falling Down
Fandom: Zanki Zero: Last Beginning
Rating: somewhere on the PG-13/R border
Wordcount: 1,200
Summary: It isn't easy to overwrite the data on an X Key. Sometimes, something stays behind.
Warnings: Late-game spoilers (up to the end of stage 07), violence, strong references to suicide.
Haruto blinks up at the familiar ceiling of the garage. Extended again. He doesn’t think he made it to old age in the last cycle; how did he—
His entire body freezes up.
“Hey!” It’s Ryo’s voice. “Hey, I have a question. What the fuck?”
Haruto sits up in the vat, with effort; they’re always a little shaky and weak right after cloning, and right now he’s even shakier than usual. Ryo is there, as a young adult, arms folded and glowering at him.
“Don’t go dying when I’m not expecting it!” Ryo says. “It freaks me out! You were on, what, day five? What the hell managed to kill you in your bedroom?”
Haruto tries to climb out of the vat. It doesn’t really work; he’s shaking too badly, and his child-sized hands slip on the side. “You found my X Key?”
“Yeah.” Ryo helps him out of the vat, wraps him in the ragged piece of cloth they call a towel, lets Haruto lean against his side to keep himself upright. “I went to your room when you didn’t show up in the morning.”
Ryo’s too close, Haruto’s mind is whispering. He’s too close, it’s not safe, what if Kurosaki wakes up? But Haruto is a kid right now, with a kid’s strength, and no weapons; he can’t do too much damage, right?
As if in unwanted answer to his thoughts, Ryo shows him a makeshift knife: a sturdy blade of glass, wrapped with a length of vine to make a handle. The knife, the one Haruto used last night. Haruto’s stomach turns over twice and disappears.
“I found this with your clothes,” Ryo says. “Does it have anything to do with what happened?”
Haruto stares at it, paralysed. Kurosaki is stirring in the pit of his mind, a slow stretch, a yawn.
“Please,” Haruto whispers, “keep that away from me.”
“Yeah, man, of course,” Ryo says, his tone switching in an instant from pissed-off to concerned. He tucks the blade away. “Sorry. You probably don’t need to be interrogated right now. I guess I just freaked.”
“It’s not that,” Haruto says. Is he going to say this? “The X Key I’m using. You told me it used to belong to Yosuke Kurosaki, right? The serial killer?”
Ryo pauses. “I have a feeling I’m not going to like this.”
“I think he’s still on there,” Haruto says. “I mean, I kind of hope he’s still on there. I hope these aren’t just my own thoughts.”
He’s gained enough strength in his legs, by now, to stand on his own. Which is good, because Ryo probably isn’t going to want him leaning against him any more. He moves unsteadily away and focuses on pulling on the clothes Ryo must have set out for him, so he doesn’t have to look at Ryo.
He still has to hear the unease in Ryo’s voice, though.
“Thoughts like what?” Ryo asks.
Haruto pushes his glasses on. He never used to mind needing glasses. He kind of hates it now. It’s just another thing he and Kurosaki have in common.
“I stabbed myself last night,” he says.
Ryo heaves out a breath. “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of. Is there, like, any chance you could promise me it won’t happen again?”
Nothing else to occupy himself with. Haruto turns, reluctantly, to look at him.
“I mean, whatever you’re going through, you can talk about it with us, right?” Ryo asks, a little desperately, and suddenly Haruto remembers what happened to Ryo’s mother, and he feels like crap for letting Ryo be the one to discover the scene. “I care about you a lot. We all do.”
Haruto can’t say it. None of the others will want to be around him any more.
But maybe that’d be best. Safest.
“I had to stab someone,” he says. “I could feel him inside me; I knew I wouldn’t...” He pauses. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold out. I couldn’t control it.” Another pause. “So I decided it had to be me.”
It had taken a few attempts. He’d tried to make it quick for himself. But he’d been fighting for control of his hands with Kurosaki, and Kurosaki had wanted to kill someone slowly. Haruto had ended up bleeding out on the floor, too badly injured to do himself the mercy of finishing himself off.
Ryo is staring at him, wordless. Haruto can feel Kurosaki’s sick pleasure somewhere in his own chest, alongside the writhing guilt. He’s always fed off horrified expressions.
“Uh, holy shit, that’s really scary,” Ryo says.
Haruto is startled into laughter, somehow. He wasn’t expecting to hear it put so straightforwardly. “You’re not wrong.”
“So... what should I do?”
Haruto takes a deep breath. He can’t pretend it doesn’t scare him, but he’s died so many times already; what’s one more? “I think you should kill me. Don’t Extend me; just... keep my X Key somewhere. Or throw it into the ocean. That way you and the others will be safe.”
“What?” Ryo asks, incredulous. “No, dude, I mean what should I do to help you.”
Haruto hesitates. Frowns.
“I mean, yeah, I’m scared if that guy’s still hanging around,” Ryo says, “but you’re serious about fighting him, right? I mean, you stabbed yourself to protect us. I wanna help you fight.”
“I’m not safe,” Haruto says. “And he knows about X Keys, you said he broke mine, right? We can’t take the risk he’ll—”
“Look,” Ryo says, “I’m not definitely killing you to get rid of the chance maybe he’ll kill someone else. One hundred percent chance I lose someone I care about? Those odds stink. I’m taking the other option.”
“He could take out all of us,” Haruto says, in rising desperation. “You know that, right?” The idea of personally destroying all his friends, of being the last one standing with his hands full of broken X Keys...
Ryo shrugs. “He won’t. He’d have to get past you first.”
Kill Ryo. The words in the back of Haruto’s head are soft and even and inescapable. Call Sachika here and kill her in front of Ryo. Kill them all.
“I don’t know if I can beat him alone,” Haruto says.
Ryo grins. “Good thing you’re not alone, right? So when are you gonna tell me what I can do to help?”
Haruto’s always been embarrassed about crying in front of other people. He feels a tightness in his throat and looks away.
“Well,” he says, staring very hard at the wall and trying to keep his voice level, “there are... there are times it’s harder to keep him under control, I guess. Like... when I’m trying to get to sleep, when I’m just waking up. And I wouldn’t know if he’s doing anything when I’m actually sleeping. So... maybe, at night, it’d be a good idea to...”
He takes a few deep breaths, until he feels a little steadier. Looks over at Ryo again.
“Maybe someone should tie me up,” he says.
Ryo claps his hands to his mouth, looking delighted. “Oh, man, yes. Yes! I can absolutely do that.”
“You could at least pretend to be less happy about this,” Haruto mutters. But somehow he finds himself smiling.
Maybe they’ll be okay. He’s not alone in his head, and Yosuke Kurosaki is a danger. But he’s not alone outside his head either.
They’re a team. They’ll get through this.
no subject
Ryo claps his hands to his mouth, looking delighted. “Oh, man, yes. Yes! I can absolutely do that.”
Okay, I have no context for the characters, but this was really funny! Just everything is all dark and struggling and full of fear and then suddenly it's all, "Wait, you mean I get to tie you up? Awesome!"
no subject
There's one point in the game where Ryo's extolling the virtues of bondage, and Haruto starts asking questions like 'd-do you also bind men? clothes on or off?' and then knocks on Ryo's door a couple of nights later and asks, 'Do you think you could tie me up?' (Ryo is very pleased.)
no subject
I'm also very pleased to learn that Ryo is canonically into tying people up, because before I read this I watched just a bit of a Let's Play, and I was terribly distracted by his rope harness every time he was on screen. I'm glad to know my eyes did not deceive me!
no subject
(My housemate walked into the room while I was playing the demo and went 'er, that guy is wearing a harness?' and had a similar 'oh, that explains a lot' reaction on learning he was a bondage artist.)