Death By Tiny Walking Tomato Is Just Embarrassing.

[rionaleonhart]

Final Fantasy XII finally came out in Europe a few days ago, and I got my hands on a copy this morning. First impressions!

- Good Lord, this game is pretty. Although the opening video did make me think 'er, hang on, I didn't mean to buy a Lord of the Rings game.'
- Silver hair is obviously bad luck in this world.
- I cannot stop thinking of Vaan as 'Tidus Mark II'. Also, he sounds like a woman. And walks like one, too. I may just be picking up on this because I've been reading and maybe possibly writing too much genderswap lately.
- WHY DO ALL THE EVIL PEOPLE HAVE BRITISH ACCENTS? I had no idea we were so sinister! Well, all right, I did, because we have the grand tradition of being villainous in films. Still, I find it terribly amusing.
- I hated and despised the battle system at first - possibly because it is replacing the basic underlying battle system that has worked perfectly well for eleven Final Fantasy games and which I was very comfortable with, thank you very much - but I've only played for a couple of hours and, although I'm not exactly prepared to defend it to the hilt yet, I've already lost a lot of my hatred for it.
- Awww, Giza Rabbits! When I attacked one, it didn't fight back - it just ran away from me a lot and then cast Protect on itself, and then I realised that I would never have the heart to kill one ever.
- I am so desperately looking forward to Fran and Balthier showing up. All I know about them is that they are sky pirates and apparently awesome, and THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
- Rogue Tomato? Stupidest monster ever.

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

Final Fantasy X and Final Fantasy X-2 (silliest game title ever?) had the Weird Floating Gelatinous Blob Thing, which would occasionally reshape itself into a big gelatinous slab and slam down on your party members, but I think the Rogue Tomato, which is a tiny tomato with legs and a skirt, is even sillier.

Oh, hurrah! I'm already British and have a cat who would be happy to sit in my lap while I stroked it evilly, so, presumably, if I drove a red Dodge Charger, I would be The Ultimate Villain?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

...A tomato with a SKIRT?! I want to see a picture of ridiculous thing.

Is it a white, slightly long-haired one? Also, you need a big desk and a swivelly chair. Also, re the red Dodge Charger, if you're going for this (http://www.conceptcarz.com/view/photo/162784,12781,0,1119/photo.aspx), I don't think that works. You need a car that looks evil already. See this Ferrari, which already looks evil and then EXTRA evil. (http://www.conceptcarz.com/view/photo/94879,10705,0,0/photo.aspx).

[rionaleonhart]

I can't find any pictures of the Rogue Tomato online, alas.

Er, he's a short-haired tabby. Which isn't the best evil cat, really. Still, I've got the accent. It's a start!

I only suggested a Dodge because Hammond said that they're cars for villains. Oh, that Ferrari is wonderfully evil-looking.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Damn! How're we supposed to decide which enemy is more ridiculous if we can't compare their looks?

Exactly, all evil villains need to start small. You could start by taking over Ayr, or something.

I checked conceptcarz.com, and apparently they've made several dozen different Dodge Chargers, and one of them might be a villainy car, but I'd go with the Ferrari instead.

[rionaleonhart]

Er. I've looked at the in-game picture again, and it seems that I must have somehow imagined the Rogue Tomato's skirt.

It does have enormous fangs, though. So that's all right.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

You hallucinating a skirt on a tomate slightly worries me, as do the in-game fangs. Honestly, what were they on? What does the tomato do, anyway? Does it vant to suck your ketchup?

[rionaleonhart]

Apparently it's been stopping couriers from getting through the desert to the city. I have absolutely no idea how it manages this, because it is rather pathetic in a fight and approximately the size of a normal tomato.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

...Desert couriers are USELESS.