But Jeremy Clarkson Is Not The God Of Silent Hill.

[rionaleonhart]

AN EXCITING GLIMPSE INTO RIONA'S WRITING PROCESS:


Riona's Mind (or, more often nowadays, dracothelizard, but how can we be sure that they are not the same thing?): Hey, Riona, I have a brilliant fic idea for you! Why don't you pair up two utterly unacquainted characters of different species/drop the Top Gear trio into Silent Hill/drop anyone and everyone into Silent Hill?
Riona: That is an incredibly, astonishingly stupid idea and I am never, ever, ever going to write it.

(BETWEEN ONE WEEK AND NINE MONTHS LATER:)

Riona: Well, all right, apparently I am going to write it. Bugger. Time to e-mail Draco, then.

Riona: Hey, dracothelizard, I have a new fic idea! It is like this.
Draco: Your fic idea needs more Labradoodles.
Riona: You always say that my fic needs more Labradoodles.
Draco: I will stop saying it when you include a sufficient number of Labradoodles.
Riona: The lack of Labradoodles is not the point! The point is that writing this fic would be an extremely bad idea and would in all likelihood result in my being lynched. Please talk me out of it. What I mean by this is, of course, 'please write it yourself so it will leave me alone'.
Draco: No. In fact, I shall give you more ideas for it.
Riona: I have no idea why I keep going to you when I have an idea I want to purge.

Riona: *pre-story planning that consists, at the very most, of an extremely vague concept and possibly a ridiculous map*

Riona: *writes a bit in the middle*
Riona: *writes a bit in the middle*
Riona: *e-mails Draco to say 'I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M WRITING THIS'. Repeatedly.*

(At around this point, the characters get out of control and take the story in a direction completely different to the one intended. After a long and arduous struggle during which I send a lot of panicky and probably slightly maddening e-mails to Draco saying things along the lines of 'WHY IS JEREMY ABLE TO MAKE ME DO WHATEVER HE WANTS OH HELP THAT CAME OUT WRONG', I typically give up and let the characters twist the fic around.)

Riona: *writes the end*
Riona: *writes a bit vaguely near the end but not quite connecting*

(At around this point, Draco, being Pure Evil, suggests a new and more insane crackfic idea, carefully presented to appeal as much as possible to the ficwriting part of my brain. I say 'NO WHAT I WILL NEVER WRITE THAT NO'. (Three months later, of course, I almost certainly do.))

Riona: *stumbles out of bed in the middle of the night purely to write a particularly deranged scene that is keeping her awake*
Riona: *writes the beginning*
Riona: *writes a bit in the middle*

Riona: *endeavours to connect all the bits up*

Riona: THESE ALL CONTRADICT EACH OTHER HELP
Draco: *is enormously patient and helpful and never asks to be credited in everything Riona writes, even though she really has every right to*
Riona: *eventually manages to tie things together with Draco's advice, ignoring the Labradoodle-related suggestions*
Draco: So, what about that other crackfic idea?
Riona: NEVER.
(repeat)

And now you know! This entry seemed more interesting before I actually wrote it. You are invited to talk about yourselves in the comments.


You know, I genuinely believe that, if dracothelizard and I teamed up and really set our minds to it, we could take over the world. As it is, our alliance tends to result in alarming fanfiction more often than in political conquest. That's probably a good thing.