Trabia Garden

Just came across a Death Note fic concept I noted down on my phone back in 2020: 'Fic where Light tries to get Naomi's real name by seducing/sleeping with her, whether to get her to trust him or to put himself in a position where he can get a look at her ID.'

This is a terrible idea, but I would absolutely read it. I just enjoy how easy it is to put Light in situations where he ends up having sex for practical reasons while going 'ugh, I'm above this.' Sometimes you have to do something slightly distasteful in pursuit of your pure and noble goal of committing several thousand murders.

Below the cut, I just ramble directionlessly about Light's character for a while, apparently? Like Jack Shephard, Light Yagami is a character I just want to study under a microscope.


( Talking about Light Yagami. )


Around this point, I realised it was silly to attempt a full summary of Light's character when I last watched Death Note three years ago. (There is a solid risk I'm on the verge of a rewatch.) He's fun to talk about, though!

Why are all my favourite characters the absolute worst? I'm not complaining; I'm just curious.

Finished watching Full Moon wo Sagashite! And sobbed throughout more or less the entire final episode. MITSUKI. TAKUTO. MEROKO. EVERYONE.

(I actually started crying at the penultimate episode's ending credits, of all things, because they end with that lovely shot of Meroko calling to Mitsuki with Takuto smiling fondly beside her and Mitsuki running to them. It's such a lovely illustration of their three-way friendship, and the episode itself had just dealt that friendship a heartwrenching blow.)

Full Moon probably isn't objectively great, but I don't care; it's really managed to capture my heart. I love Mitsuki and Takuto and Meroko. I love how much they all come to care about each other. I love the ending; it made me a little sad, but it's moving and open and hopeful.

I really like it when endings feel as if they have a whole new story stretching in front of them. Maybe it comes of writing fanfiction. I think that's why I didn't really get along with the epilogue to the Harry Potter books. You can't just tell us what's happening seventeen years later! Seventeen years later belongs to us!

I don't think I'm actually going to write Full Moon wo Sagashite fanfiction. I don't feel confident enough with any of the characters' voices. If I did write fanfiction for it, though... well.

My first thought, when Negi Ramen showed up in the first episode, was how much they reminded me of Team Rocket. They even did a little motto (the video quality's not great, I'm afraid, but it certainly gives you an impression of how Team Rockety it is).

I don't know about you, but I'd quite like to see Takuto and Meroko as a branch of Team Rocket. They pursue Mitsuki initially, trying to steal her Pokémon, but end up accidentally befriending her.

AWARD-WINNING FANFICTION CONCEPT, I THINK YOU'LL FIND.

Oh no, I'm actually thinking in depth about this now. One day, Mitsuki is singing when a strange Pokémon approaches and begins to duet with her. It stays with her afterwards; she names it Full Moon. Unable to find out what species her new friend is, she sets out to visit Professor Wakaouji, in the hope that he might know something. Little does she know that Team Rocket have spotted her Pokémon and identified it as the legendary Meloetta!

I - I really shouldn't write this.

I sort of want to write Dangan Ronpa fanfiction, set during chapter two, in which everyone takes [name redacted]'s very sensible suggestion of sharing their biggest secrets right then and there, and they all bond and it's heartwarming and extremely unconducive to murder. The trouble is that there are a few characters I just can't see ever agreeing to it. Stupid people with their stupid understandable reluctance to bare their souls.

You may be wondering why the character's name was redacted up there. Here is the problem with Dangan Ronpa: almost anything I could say about it would be a spoiler. It's a problem particular to fandoms with very high bodycounts. If I say 'I really like the friendship between A and B', for example, you'll know that neither A nor B will die before they've developed a friendship. I don't even know whether any of you intend to check Dangan Ronpa out, but I don't want to risk spoiling anyone because it's so worth going into unspoiled.

(And generally worth going into. The character designs are so great! Look at those character designs! And I have a particular liking for or interest in at least ten of the fifteen inmates (maybe eleven; I waver on Maizono), which is quite impressive for a cast of that size. Although my interest in Leon is mainly based in the fact that his facial expressions are hilarious.)

Naegi reminds me oddly of Roxas from Kingdom Hearts in the trial scenes. I suppose it's the build and the fact that his hoodie/school uniform combination looks vaguely like an Organization XIII coat at a glance.

LOOK, I JUST WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO READ THROUGH THE LET'S PLAY SO WE CAN FALL INTO EACH OTHER'S ARMS AND CRY ABOUT HOW CRUEL FICTIONAL LIFE IS.


And now a few notes on Glee!

You know, I may not be as invested in Glee as I used to be, but I do really like that the theme of the third series was essentially 'Rachel Berry Makes Friends With Everyone'. I care so much more about Rachel's friendships than I do about her romances.

Worst thing about 'Goodbye', the third-series finale: nobody sang 'Goodbye' by the Spice Girls. I was so disappointed. COME ON, GUYS.

I actually spent most of 'Goodbye' freaking out because I had convinced myself, based on no evidence whatsoever, that Burt was going to die. I was incredibly relieved to be wrong. (I don't think 'this character whose death you have no reason to anticipate doesn't die' is a spoiler, is it? Unless, of course, you're talking about Dangan Ronpa.)

...oh, dear, this was an unfortunate combination of fandoms for an entry. I am now, inevitably, wondering how the Glee kids would cope with a Dangan Ronpa scenario. Sue Sylvester locks the New Directions in the school; the only way to escape is to kill a fellow captive without getting caught. It's a fairly ruthless lot in that choir room; I thought 'who would be prepared to commit murder in that situation?' and five names immediately popped into my head. Probably best to end this entry before it goes any further down this line of thought. (Even though I sort of want to read this.)

Are people writing ridiculous AU fanfiction to celebrate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton? I do so hope they are. Sam Winchester is second in line to the throne! He becomes engaged to Ruby! The press desperately try to find out more about her family, or at least her freaking surname, but as she outright threatens to kill reporters and paparazzi it's fairly difficult to approach her directly. Eventually, someone finds out that Prince Sam is drinking his betrothed's blood and all hell breaks loose. It is not at all good for the image of the royal family.

I'd also, conversely, read fanfiction about William and Kate fighting the supernatural in between public appearances. IN FACT, EVEN THOUGH I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN THE ROYAL COUPLE AS CHARACTERS BEFORE I WROTE THAT SENTENCE, I NOW WANT THIS FIERCELY. How do people react when not only are they saved from demons: they're saved from demons by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge? It'd be bloody difficult for them to work undercover; have you ever tried pretending to be a police officer in order to gather information when your wedding has been all over the newspapers and television for months?

What a stupid entry. I don't usually post entries this short, but I fear that it will only get worse if I continue. As an apology (whilst managing to sort of stay on the theme of royal weddings, actually), here is a link to a man singing a medley of Disney songs on YouTube. HE'S SPLIT-SCREENED HIMSELF AND THE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HIM RESPOND TO AND INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER AND IT'S FABULOUS. I particularly enjoy how very bored the villain looks when the hero and/or heroine are singing.

Last night, I watched the extended 'Health and Safety' episode of QI on a television with rather poor reception. The static and jumpy picture made it look as if Jeremy Clarkson leant over to make out with David Mitchell over the credits. I was deeply confused.

Typing that has made me realise that I sort of want fanfiction about Clarkson and Mitchell. Not necessarily Clarkson/Mitchell (not really a pairing I want to see, although were someone to write it I would be forced to read out of sheer curiosity), but stories in which they're thrown together somehow and forced to work with each other in spite of their differences. Take Mitchell's excessive caution and Clarkson's 'if it's not working, you haven't hit it with a hammer enough' approach, and then apply that combination to any extreme situation.

Seriously, this would be amazing. Clarkson and Mitchell are trapped in the Arctic! Clarkson and Mitchell in the zombie apocalypse! Clarkson the Hufflepuff (everyone at Hogwarts is as surprised that he's not a Slytherin as you, but I am irrationally convinced that he is a Hufflepuff) and Mitchell the Ravenclaw (I don't think there's any doubt on this point) trying to subdue the leaderless Death Eaters after Voldemort's defeat! I was going to say 'forget fanfiction; let's make it into a sitcom', but then I realised that would basically be Peep Show.


On an unrelated note, here is a video of Darren Criss putting on a surprise public performance of 'Part of Your World' from The Little Mermaid.

Darren Criss, you have made things so awkward for me by being my perfect man. I was already doomed never to find love, and now you've made my doom that much more certain by giving me extremely specific standards.

(I also have a bit of a crush on Blaine, his character in Glee, who is highly unlikely to reciprocate on account of being, amongst other things, fictional. WHEN WE FIRST MEET BLAINE, HE'S CHECKING A POCKETWATCH. IT'S ONLY VISIBLE FOR A MOMENT, BUT IT'S THERE. BLAINE HAS A POCKETWATCH, GUYS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THAT'S HOT, BUT IT IS.)

I have finished the first series of Phineas and Ferb! And you should all watch it as well, because, guys, this cartoon is really good. The bizarrely amicable struggles of Perry and Dr Doofenshmirtz in particular are a constant delight. I love 'we may be enemies, but that doesn't mean we dislike each other' dynamics.

I also love that Phineas and Ferb never takes itself too seriously. Even in the 'Candace realises she loves her siblings really' song, what could have been entirely sincere is tempered by the hilariously literal lyrics:

You will always be my
Little brothers
'Cause you're younger
We're related
And you're boys

Other favourite lyrics: 'It only took a magic portal to Mars to give me some self-worth' and 'Just the two of us, in an oesophagus' (I love how ridiculously specific Phineas and Ferb songs can be. That song can only apply to the situation of 'going through someone's digestive system in a miniature submarine'. This one applies to the situation of 'dancing wildly because there are squirrels in your jeans'). Plus there's Busted, which is just incredibly catchy.


I stayed the night at th_esaurus's house recently! We discussed the concept of the King of All Cosmos as a private detective (worst idea ever, someone please write it) and of Wallace of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World going out with Nega Scott, rather to Scott's perturbation (better idea, someone write this as well). Also, whilst poking around fanfiction.net, we stumbled across what is possibly my favourite fanfiction line ever written (the 'I' in question is female):

"Oh god Joe!" I moaned out as he released inside of me. "you are not gay!"

Plus I spent a few hours yesterday with the lovely faeries_bite and mychickadee. faeries_bite wasn't feeling very well, sadly, but she was still able to help form the idea that is going to make my fortune: Parcelville, a theme park based on the Royal Mail. None of the rides end up where you're expecting them to go, and you can't buy a ticket at the gate; you have to go a couple of miles away. The most expensive tickets will allow you to go on the rides within a day or so, if you're lucky. I expect to see you all there at the grand opening.


Seriously, do give Phineas and Ferb a try. The only complaint I have is that Candace's screaming can begin to grate after a while, but it's got great characters and great songs and it's genuinely clever and funny. Even its formulaic nature works in its favour, because after it's established a pattern of expectation it begins to subvert and play with it in all sorts of interesting ways. It's great fun to watch, and I very much recommend it.

Why can't I stop thinking about this ridiculous pairing? Here is some thoroughly excessive rambling about bad Charlie Brooker/David Mitchell fic ideas. Perhaps at some point I should actually attempt to write a couple of these, rather than simply inflicting the concepts upon my long-suffering flist.


The Fic In Which Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell Fight Zombies.

Mr Mitchell is to begin hosting a panel show called The Bubble quite soon, I believe. The idea is that the panellists are locked away from the outside world for three days, then presented with news items and asked to determine whether they actually occurred during their incarceration or whether they were simply made up.

This is obviously the ideal setting for maximum Dead Set similarity. Brooker is in the bubble (I assume that the title of the programme refers to the panellists' prison); Mitchell is visiting the bubble for some reason; ZOMBIE OUTBREAK.

I... haven't actually watched Dead Set, I have to confess, on account of being a wimp and a coward (zombies are scary!), and watching Dead Set would definitely be a prerequisite for this fic. But I do think it should exist. (To those of you who've seen Dead Set: should I watch it? Do you think I'd enjoy it? Will it make me freak out and cry?)


The Fic In Which Charlie Brooker Is A Panellist On The Bubble And David Mitchell Visits Him In His Incarceration Slightly More Than Necessary, Or Maybe The Door Lock Malfunctions Or Something And Both Mitchell And Brooker Are Trapped Together, I Don't Know Enough About The Bubble To Know Whether That Would Be Feasible, But In Any Case They Fall In Love And It's Brilliant.

Because I realised whilst writing about The Bubble up there that I really wanted this. This is frustrating, because it is a fic idea requiring research that at present cannot be done. I hope we get some information about the conditions in which the panellists are held when The Bubble begins.


The Inevitable Charlie Brooker/David Mitchell Pokémon Crossover.

The mental conversation I just had with myself:

Riona: Where would David Mitchell live, if he lived in the Pokémon world?
Riona's Mind: Pewter City.
Riona: And which Gym would Charlie Brook—
Riona's Mind: Pewter City.

APPARENTLY IT IS THE MOST OBVIOUS THING IN THE WORLD THAT BOTH MITCHELL AND BROOKER LIVE IN PEWTER CITY. I was originally planning to have Mitchell come to a strange town and make his way to its Gym, there to meet Brooker, but this is evidently impossible because it is solid fact that they are both residents of Pewter City. GUYS, YOU ARE BEING TROUBLESOME.

Actually, my original plan wasn't terribly well thought-out, because why would Mitchell go to a Gym? He's not a Pokémon trainer. He's never owned a Pokémon, in fact, and he is frustrated by the fact that the world around him seems to be increasingly designed only for people with Pokémon. It is perfectly possible to exist without a Pokémon! Or it should be, at least. He barely trusts himself to look after himself; he can hardly accept the charge of another living creature.

ONE DAY THERE IS A ROCKSLIDE ON THE BORDERS OF PEWTER CITY, OH NO. Mitchell, out for a pleasant walk, finds himself about to be rockslided! But the leader of Pewter City Gym happens to be training on the cliff and sends his Onix to save the man in peril.

Possibly the Onix may have been responsible for the rockslide in the first place. The leader of Pewter City Gym isn't going to talk about that.

Although he is not actually injured, Mitchell, rather embarrassingly, faints in the Onix's coils. The Gym Leader (spoiler: it's Brooker), having established that the man is unhurt, rolls his eyes and orders his Onix to carry his insensible form back to the Gym. Tending to unconscious strangers is neither Brooker's area of expertise nor his idea of a good time, but he supposes he might have a tiny bit of responsibility for this man, given that he maybe possibly caused that rockslide.

He supposes.

(Should I write this fic, I may not be able to resist the urge to illustrate it with bad manips throughout.)


The Fic In Which Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell Totally Live Happily Ever After, Just Because.

...I'd like it, but I cannot begin to imagine how it would work. Oh, dear.

All complaints of nightmares should be directed to th_esaurus.

Alternatively, you can combat the horror by continuing to make lovely only-mildly-disturbing Pokémon manips.

Right now, dracothelizard is writing a fanfic in which James Sunderland, James May, James Wilson, James Norrington and James of Team Rocket are all stuck in Silent Hill.

I love her.

I do not, however, love her for sending me an e-mail with the following sentence in:

James Sunderland looks a bit like an older Chase.

AND THEN MY BRAIN EXPLODED.

The thing that frightens me the most about this is that it actually makes sense. James could easily be an older Chase. They certainly share qualities (the ever-so-slight incompetence, a certain degree of selfishness and oh, it is so, so difficult to resist making a huge and confusing post about Chase's actions in Hunting and his possible motives and how they compare to Sunderland), and they do look alike, but I cannot think about this because it is an insane and terrifying concept that makes me want to cry. Also because I actually really sort of want to write fanfiction about Chase's slow descent into becoming the man we see in Silent Hill 2 and his thoughts on the parallels between Mary and Cameron, and I shouldn't because it would be insane.

Although, perhaps, not quite as insane as James, James, James, James and James in Silent Hill.

I love that I can seem relatively normal next to Draco. Fic-writing-wise, she is the Clarkson to my May.