Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2026-02-02 07:20 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2026-02-02 07:20 pm
What A Coincidence. I Put Poison In Your Tea.
Batch five of fills for the ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
threesentenceficathon! I'm having such a great time with this.
Ace Attorney, Apollo and the judge, 200 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'this time the Judge takes one look at the final witness and knows they're the real culprit, declaring them guilty before they have time to do their usual break-the-hero mocking spiel'
“There’s no need to proceed with this trial,” the judge says. “I already know the verdict. Guilty!”
“No!” Apollo exclaims. “Please, Your Honour, my client – we showed she couldn’t possibly be at the scene—”
“What? I’m not declaring your client guilty. It’s evidently the witness who did it. Mr Derrer.”
Apollo and Athena exchange glances.
“You... you can’t do that, Your Honour,” Apollo says, hesitantly.
“Look at the man! It’s clear he committed the murder. Isn’t that the murder weapon he’s holding right now?”
“This... isn’t a trial for Mr Derrer,” Apollo says. “It’s a trial for Ms Ina Cent. You can’t declare someone else guilty.”
“Oh,” the judge says. “Right, yes. Well, let’s bring a trial for Mr Derrer before me as soon as possible.”
Apollo has mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it sounds like Ina is probably going to go free. On the other...
Well. He’s in agreement with the judge, really; he’s almost certain that Mr Derrer committed the crime. But it doesn’t sound like this is likely to be a fair trial.
“Mr Derrer,” he says, very much against his better judgement, “do you need a defence attorney?”
Ghost Trick/The Goes Wrong Show, Sissel and Robert, 320 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'any 2+ fandoms starting with g, any, after midnight'
It’s after midnight; there’s only so long left before Sissel stops existing. He needs to find out who killed him; he needs to get moving.
But these people won’t stop dying, and turning back time to save them is starting to get exhausting.
“The building is on fire,” he says. “Can’t you just leave?”
“In the middle of the play?” Robert’s soul demands.
Sissel can’t seem to remember exactly what a play is, although he’s picked up some of the vocabulary from talking with these ‘actor’ people. He knows what play is, running around and throwing balls and things, but ‘a play’ is a mystery. It mostly seems to involve people pretending to be other people; that was confusing at first. Someone called Polonius got stabbed, and Sissel tried to help him, but it turned out that he wasn’t actually dead and wasn’t actually called Polonius.
Whatever it is, it’s apparently very important. “Maybe you could do the play somewhere else, then. Somewhere that doesn’t kill you as much.”
“The set is here,” Robert says. “All of the props are here.”
“And they keep falling on you,” Sissel says, “and you keep dying.”
“Crucially, the audience are here, and I’ve found that moving them to a second location tends to get you slapped with abduction charges. So long as you keep bringing us to life, it’s fine.”
“I can’t do that,” Sissel says. “I’ll bring you back again this time, but then I need to go. You’ll just have to try to stay alive.”
“Oh, stay a bit longer,” Robert says. “I was hoping to kill Chris, just once. Just to see what it’s like. You know, while it’s temporary.”
Sissel stares at him.
He’s going to be furious if he loses his chance to get answers for this. But apparently these people cannot be left unsupervised, so, reluctantly, he resigns himself to seeing out the rest of the play.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 120 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'coming out'.
Robert's 'semi-autobiographical' one-man play is, as anticipated, self-aggrandising nonsense; he portrays himself as single-handedly elevating the drama society to the level of 'true art', in a story that culminates in winning the Nobel Prize for Theatre and several unlikely Oscars.
And then – and this part Chris hadn't anticipated – Robert depicts the entire drama society having a celebratory orgy, an impressively acrobatic feat when he plays every role; at the climax, so to speak, a large banner drops from the top of the stage, reading ROBERT GROVE IS BISEXUAL.
"Thank you all for attending my coming out," Robert says, beaming as he takes a nude bow, and Chris resigns himself to being haunted by what he's just seen for the next several years.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 240 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'talking someone to orgasm'.
“In light of the coup,” Chris acknowledges, “it’s become clear that my popularity as director leaves... something to be desired, so I thought I’d make more of an effort to acknowledge the strengths of our members. You’re one of the better actors in the drama society, Robert—”
“The best actor,” Robert interrupts him.
“Some may say the best actor,” Chris says, carefully and reluctantly. “You’re certainly the most dedicated to the art; some of the lengths you’ve gone to to pull off a performance have been extraordinary. And an impressive writer, too; Summer Once Again may have been... imperfectly performed, but it’s the best script we’ve had in a while. If you’d be willing to write more of our plays—”
Robert doubles over suddenly, panting and gasping, and Chris rushes to support him in alarm.
“I’m fine!” Robert snaps, pushing him away. “I’m fine. If you’ll excuse me, please, I need to change; do we have a spare of the governor costume?”
The whole episode leaves Chris a little concerned about Robert’s health. He asks a few other members of the society whether they’ve noticed anything similar.
“And you were praising him?” Trevor asks, scratching his chin. “Sounds to me like he came in his pants.”
“Don’t be revolting, Trevor. What a suggestion.”
It sticks in Chris’s mind, though, and he finds himself hunting through their collective laundry for the governor costume: a decision he ends up profoundly regretting.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 110 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt "I think we should break up."
"I think we should break up."
Chris frowns. "You think we should... dissolve the drama society?"
"Absolutely not," Robert says. "I think we should break up. You and me. Romantically."
Chris stares at him. "We can't break up."
"Oh, now you're willing to fight for our relationship?"
What on Earth is this conversation? "What relationship? I just mean – we aren't together, so we can't—"
"Fine," Robert is saying, talking over him. "If it's so important to you, we can give it one last chance. But I'll expect a greater romantic effort from you."
He stalks out of the room.
Chris doesn't understand exactly what just happened, but he has a terrible feeling about this.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 60 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'muzzled'.
"You can't gag me on stage, Chris, for God's sake—"
"You do have a history of talking when you're given non-speaking roles; what do you expect if you can't behave yourself?"
Once it's secured, Chris steps back to look at Robert – muzzled and mutinous, glowering at him – and feels a twinge of something probably best left unexamined.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 170 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'doing drugs'.
"Certain members of the drama society were a little low-energy in last night's performance of this very high-energy play," Robert announces, "so I've put a small quantity of what some might call 'cocaine' in your lunches. It's my understanding—"
"You – you drugged us?" Chris demands. "You drugged us?"
"Don't interrupt, please, Chris. It's my understanding that cocaine, or 'speed'—"
"You put illegal drugs," Chris says, "in our lunches?"
"Not all your lunches. I had to reserve it for the people who were particularly unsatisfactory in last night's performance. It's quite expensive, you know."
"So – wait, which of us did you drug?" Vanessa asks, wide-eyed.
"I'm—" Robert pauses. "Well, I'll be honest, I'm not sure. You, Dennis and Chris, ideally, but I... may have forgotten which bowls I'd doctored by the time I handed them out."
"My energy levels last night," Chris says, outraged, "were perfectly fine."
"In any case," Robert says, "there'll be some cocaine in the mix somewhere, so I'll be expecting a more lively performance tonight."
I got a comment on the ficathon saying 'Your fic has actually gotten me into the Goes Wrong Show and it's also absolutely hysterical', and it made me smile so hard. By my count, I've now got... twelve or thirteen people to watch The Goes Wrong Show, I think? I'm dragging everyone into this pit with me.
threesentenceficathon! I'm having such a great time with this.Ace Attorney, Apollo and the judge, 200 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'this time the Judge takes one look at the final witness and knows they're the real culprit, declaring them guilty before they have time to do their usual break-the-hero mocking spiel'
“There’s no need to proceed with this trial,” the judge says. “I already know the verdict. Guilty!”
“No!” Apollo exclaims. “Please, Your Honour, my client – we showed she couldn’t possibly be at the scene—”
“What? I’m not declaring your client guilty. It’s evidently the witness who did it. Mr Derrer.”
Apollo and Athena exchange glances.
“You... you can’t do that, Your Honour,” Apollo says, hesitantly.
“Look at the man! It’s clear he committed the murder. Isn’t that the murder weapon he’s holding right now?”
“This... isn’t a trial for Mr Derrer,” Apollo says. “It’s a trial for Ms Ina Cent. You can’t declare someone else guilty.”
“Oh,” the judge says. “Right, yes. Well, let’s bring a trial for Mr Derrer before me as soon as possible.”
Apollo has mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it sounds like Ina is probably going to go free. On the other...
Well. He’s in agreement with the judge, really; he’s almost certain that Mr Derrer committed the crime. But it doesn’t sound like this is likely to be a fair trial.
“Mr Derrer,” he says, very much against his better judgement, “do you need a defence attorney?”
Ghost Trick/The Goes Wrong Show, Sissel and Robert, 320 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'any 2+ fandoms starting with g, any, after midnight'
It’s after midnight; there’s only so long left before Sissel stops existing. He needs to find out who killed him; he needs to get moving.
But these people won’t stop dying, and turning back time to save them is starting to get exhausting.
“The building is on fire,” he says. “Can’t you just leave?”
“In the middle of the play?” Robert’s soul demands.
Sissel can’t seem to remember exactly what a play is, although he’s picked up some of the vocabulary from talking with these ‘actor’ people. He knows what play is, running around and throwing balls and things, but ‘a play’ is a mystery. It mostly seems to involve people pretending to be other people; that was confusing at first. Someone called Polonius got stabbed, and Sissel tried to help him, but it turned out that he wasn’t actually dead and wasn’t actually called Polonius.
Whatever it is, it’s apparently very important. “Maybe you could do the play somewhere else, then. Somewhere that doesn’t kill you as much.”
“The set is here,” Robert says. “All of the props are here.”
“And they keep falling on you,” Sissel says, “and you keep dying.”
“Crucially, the audience are here, and I’ve found that moving them to a second location tends to get you slapped with abduction charges. So long as you keep bringing us to life, it’s fine.”
“I can’t do that,” Sissel says. “I’ll bring you back again this time, but then I need to go. You’ll just have to try to stay alive.”
“Oh, stay a bit longer,” Robert says. “I was hoping to kill Chris, just once. Just to see what it’s like. You know, while it’s temporary.”
Sissel stares at him.
He’s going to be furious if he loses his chance to get answers for this. But apparently these people cannot be left unsupervised, so, reluctantly, he resigns himself to seeing out the rest of the play.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 120 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'coming out'.
Robert's 'semi-autobiographical' one-man play is, as anticipated, self-aggrandising nonsense; he portrays himself as single-handedly elevating the drama society to the level of 'true art', in a story that culminates in winning the Nobel Prize for Theatre and several unlikely Oscars.
And then – and this part Chris hadn't anticipated – Robert depicts the entire drama society having a celebratory orgy, an impressively acrobatic feat when he plays every role; at the climax, so to speak, a large banner drops from the top of the stage, reading ROBERT GROVE IS BISEXUAL.
"Thank you all for attending my coming out," Robert says, beaming as he takes a nude bow, and Chris resigns himself to being haunted by what he's just seen for the next several years.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 240 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'talking someone to orgasm'.
“In light of the coup,” Chris acknowledges, “it’s become clear that my popularity as director leaves... something to be desired, so I thought I’d make more of an effort to acknowledge the strengths of our members. You’re one of the better actors in the drama society, Robert—”
“The best actor,” Robert interrupts him.
“Some may say the best actor,” Chris says, carefully and reluctantly. “You’re certainly the most dedicated to the art; some of the lengths you’ve gone to to pull off a performance have been extraordinary. And an impressive writer, too; Summer Once Again may have been... imperfectly performed, but it’s the best script we’ve had in a while. If you’d be willing to write more of our plays—”
Robert doubles over suddenly, panting and gasping, and Chris rushes to support him in alarm.
“I’m fine!” Robert snaps, pushing him away. “I’m fine. If you’ll excuse me, please, I need to change; do we have a spare of the governor costume?”
The whole episode leaves Chris a little concerned about Robert’s health. He asks a few other members of the society whether they’ve noticed anything similar.
“And you were praising him?” Trevor asks, scratching his chin. “Sounds to me like he came in his pants.”
“Don’t be revolting, Trevor. What a suggestion.”
It sticks in Chris’s mind, though, and he finds himself hunting through their collective laundry for the governor costume: a decision he ends up profoundly regretting.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 110 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt "I think we should break up."
"I think we should break up."
Chris frowns. "You think we should... dissolve the drama society?"
"Absolutely not," Robert says. "I think we should break up. You and me. Romantically."
Chris stares at him. "We can't break up."
"Oh, now you're willing to fight for our relationship?"
What on Earth is this conversation? "What relationship? I just mean – we aren't together, so we can't—"
"Fine," Robert is saying, talking over him. "If it's so important to you, we can give it one last chance. But I'll expect a greater romantic effort from you."
He stalks out of the room.
Chris doesn't understand exactly what just happened, but he has a terrible feeling about this.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 60 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'muzzled'.
"You can't gag me on stage, Chris, for God's sake—"
"You do have a history of talking when you're given non-speaking roles; what do you expect if you can't behave yourself?"
Once it's secured, Chris steps back to look at Robert – muzzled and mutinous, glowering at him – and feels a twinge of something probably best left unexamined.
The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, 170 words. First posted here, in response to the prompt 'doing drugs'.
"Certain members of the drama society were a little low-energy in last night's performance of this very high-energy play," Robert announces, "so I've put a small quantity of what some might call 'cocaine' in your lunches. It's my understanding—"
"You – you drugged us?" Chris demands. "You drugged us?"
"Don't interrupt, please, Chris. It's my understanding that cocaine, or 'speed'—"
"You put illegal drugs," Chris says, "in our lunches?"
"Not all your lunches. I had to reserve it for the people who were particularly unsatisfactory in last night's performance. It's quite expensive, you know."
"So – wait, which of us did you drug?" Vanessa asks, wide-eyed.
"I'm—" Robert pauses. "Well, I'll be honest, I'm not sure. You, Dennis and Chris, ideally, but I... may have forgotten which bowls I'd doctored by the time I handed them out."
"My energy levels last night," Chris says, outraged, "were perfectly fine."
"In any case," Robert says, "there'll be some cocaine in the mix somewhere, so I'll be expecting a more lively performance tonight."
I got a comment on the ficathon saying 'Your fic has actually gotten me into the Goes Wrong Show and it's also absolutely hysterical', and it made me smile so hard. By my count, I've now got... twelve or thirteen people to watch The Goes Wrong Show, I think? I'm dragging everyone into this pit with me.
no subject
This better not awaken anything in him XD
These all continue to be great fun! :DD
no subject
no subject
no subject
This is incredibly put and very true.
love the choice to go with the most deranged interpretation of every prompt
Ha, thank you! I'm really enjoying the way these characters can make even the most innocuous of prompts absolutely bonkers.
no subject
Omg that is so cool!!! I thought I was doing well with the 5 or 6 (.5) people I brought into K-9 but you are in DOUBLE DIGIT you should teach pit-dragging skills!! I would take your class!! Haha :D Wishing you a continued awesome time, now with One More Person in orbit! :D
no subject
no subject
I love the names!
Good luck getting Robert out of that situation!
The perfect way to come out!
Oh, Chris, keep talking dirty to him!
Confused into a relationship!
I love his level of Drug Expertise here!
with apologies for ignoring your fanfics
no subject
You are astonishingly good at getting people (me) to check out new fandoms. You write about them in a way that's so engaging and entertaining even without canon context that one (me) has to wonder how much better life would be with canon context.
[Once it's secured, Chris steps back to look at Robert – muzzled and mutinous, glowering at him – and feels a twinge of something probably best left unexamined.]
Oh, but I cannot wait to see what happens in approximately 4.2 minutes once Chris realizes that Robert is entirely capable of overacting through the gag. (He'll find a way to be loud physically even if he cannot be loud verbally. I know this to be true.)
["Well, I'll be honest, I'm not sure. You, Dennis and Chris, ideally, but I... may have forgotten which bowls I'd doctored by the time I handed them out."]
The idea of Dennis on any form of stimulant is terrifying.
(If one were to put Jonathan on stimulants, would he go from "unable to open any door" to "breaking every door he interacts with"?)