Why Am I Always The One Hit By The Shrinking Ray?

[rionaleonhart]

I don't have people over to stay very often - I think that a grand total of two people have stayed the night this year - and so I tend to act a bit forlorn and quite possibly lovesick when they've gone. th_esaurus is off having an awesome time with tick_ now, and I'm moping around the house and smiling fondly at the unmade bottom bunk (IT IS ONLY MILDLY CREEPY) and looking at the pictures she drew for me.

One of these pictures is of Joseph (from the musical, not my brother) looking adorably embarrassed in his wonderfully ridiculous Egyptian slave skirt-thing and knee-length socks, and it gives me endless joy. It's a bit grey, which I am sure is because the scanner is crap and not because I am woefully incompetent when it comes to adjusting brightness/contrast levels at all, but that does not stop it from being glorious.

I fully intend to kidnap th_esaurus and keep her locked up in my house and force her to draw things for me all day. Maybe not today, because that wouldn't be fair to tick_. But soon.

(I love spending time with people from Livejournal in real life. If I meet a new person out in the Real World, I'm always terribly uneasy and awkward because I don't know what their interests and, crucially, their weirdness threshold are; what will they be happy to talk about? What will just scare them away? Should I try to engage them in conversation about politics or Top Gear or zombie biology or, indeed, how the political views of the Top Gear team might be influenced by a zombie attack? It's so much easier when I already know a bit about how they think and they already know that I'm mildly insane.)

Comments

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"I fully intend to kidnap th_esaurus and keep her locked up in my house and force her to draw things for me all day."

You might want to keep your villains plans to yourself.

[rionaleonhart]

...blast, I always do that, don't I? Is that why the 'tie you to a chair and force you to write the Big James Crossover when I'm in Groningen' plan didn't work?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

That, and we were distracted by Silent Hill 4.

Still, you'd make a brilliant cheesy action film villain!

[rionaleonhart]

You're not even much of a cheesy action film villain if you declare your plans before you have the heroes in your clutches, though, surely?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

No, see, this is dramatic irony, where the audience knows it before the hero!

Or perhaps it's post-modern dramatic irony, where the hero already knows it too and still falls for your evil trap!

[rionaleonhart]

Well, as my plans are announced in my very public journal, which the 'heroine' actually reads, I certainly don't think it can be the former. So I'm going to have to hope for the latter, because that'd be sort of awesome and also I'll never be able to kidnap her otherwise.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Also, you always get her really drunk next time you see her and kidnap her then!

[rionaleonhart]

SHE IS TEETOTAL.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

...

DAMN HER AND HER TEETOTALNESS.

[reipan.livejournal.com]

I misread "knee-length socks" as "knee-length sock".

An innocent enough mistake, you might think, except that now my image is of Joseph (not your brother) in full bondage gear, and I don't want to look at that picture in case it turns out to be a very innocent outfit and makes me feel stupid.

[rionaleonhart]

It's a reasonably innocent outfit; it just happens to be a slightly silly one. It is certainly not full bondage gear (alas?).

And I am very glad that you're not picturing my brother.

[reipan.livejournal.com]

Alas! Not full bondage gear =( I shall have to look elsewhere for my joys.

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

AWWW AWWWWWWWW this post made me really sad ): I would be quite happy to be kidnapped by you. Also, as I said, if you send me (preferably bigger) scans of the pictures, I will colour them for youuuuuu ♥

smiling fondly at the unmade bottom bunk (IT IS ONLY MILDLY CREEPY)

I ROFL'D. Starin' at RD's mess.

[rionaleonhart]

Don't mind me; the random attack of sentimentality will pass. I'm not sure the desire to kidnap you will, though.

Yay! I will send you scans as soon as I've worked out how to keep the lines sufficiently defined without making the entire thing rubbishly grey (unless rubbish greyness is not a problem for you?). AND I REALLY AM PLANNING TO WRITE THAT JAMES/RICHARD FOR YOU. REALLY.

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

The greyness isn't much of a problem!

Plz write me James/Richard. Tick is sitting next to me writing RD/David Hasselhoff. I need sanity.

[rionaleonhart]

RD/David Hasselhoff

THIS IS MY NEW OTP.

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

I HATE YOU.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"Tick is sitting next to me writing RD/David Hasselhoff."

*howls*

I'm sure you deserve it entirely.

[lo0o0ony-lauren.livejournal.com]

If I meet a new person out in the Real World, I'm always terribly uneasy and awkward because I don't know what their interests and, crucially, their weirdness threshold are; what will they be happy to talk about?
God, completely. When I was at the NYT and I didn't know anybody, it was somewhat horrific because I just had no idea what to talk to them about, but I'm sure I used to be quite good at that sort of thing; LJ has spoiled me for real life. I spent more time on the phone to ailcia, maestro1123, strangeumbrella and saintsinsatin than I did having actual conversations with my flatmates (outside of, you know, "who took my milk?" and "could you please pass the biscuits").

I think it doesn't help that I feel so defined by the things that define me on the internets, especially the whole slash thing, which made me feel a bit like I was hiding some big dark secret the whole time. O HAY GUYS, MAN-ON-MAN! It wouldn't have been too bad, except one girl on my course was a very proud 20-year-old Harry Potter fangirl who told us all about her Harry/Ginny fic, which led to loads of the people around me having a big conversation about "have you heard of that thing some girls do, 'slash'?" I shit you not, they went on about how weird it was, how sick the girls were, etc. etc., I didn't know what to do and I just sat there like a complete tool. :(

WHY CAN'T EVERYONE HAVE A USERINFO IN THE REAL WORLD.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

WHY CAN'T EVERYONE HAVE A USERINFO IN THE REAL WORLD.
THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN!

[lo0o0ony-lauren.livejournal.com]

LET'S MAKE IT SO.

I... don't have any kind of plan. Er? Riona might; I get the feeling she's prepared for all eventualities, up to and including the zombie apocalypse.

[rionaleonhart]

THE PLAN IS OBSESSION HATS.

I can't remember who came up with the concept - I think it may have been squeemu or thebaconfat? - but obsession hats are hats that broadcast your obsessions to the world at large, so you can easily find someone with the same interests. I'm not quite sure how they were supposed to do this, but I imagined something that took aspects of the obsessions and combined them. For example: you have 'sherlock holmes', 'house m.d.', 'doctor who', 'life on mars' and 'top gear' on your interests list, so you would have a deerstalker, perched on top of which would be a little model of Gene Hunt's Ford Cortina with a tiny Jeremy Clarkson wielding a cane inside, being pursued by a Dalek. Brilliance.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I WANT ONE OF THOSE HATS.

(You are a genius.)

[rionaleonhart]

I've just noticed that you both have 'harry potter' on your interests as well, so obviously the Dalek would be holding a wand. Er, with its plunger, I suppose. And you've got 'scrubs', so you'd also have a little JD fanboying over the Dalek.

If you've got a lot of fandoms, your hat may become rather crowded.

[lo0o0ony-lauren.livejournal.com]

I like this plan! I also like hats. Would I have a hat on my hat?

(This is the kind of thing I NEED TO KNOW.)

Also, I would reaaaally rather like to own a hat with a ukulele on it, good lord.

[rionaleonhart]

I also like hats. Would I have a hat on my hat?

...Yes. Because that would be brilliant.

And also yes of course ukuleles! Obviously Jeremy would have a cane in one hand and a ukulele in the other.

[lo0o0ony-lauren.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oh. How much would I like to see Jeremy Clarkson play the ukulele?

(Hint: A WHOLE LOT.)

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

Not as much as I'd like to see Hammond play one- it'd look like a normal guitar on him!

[rionaleonhart]

...

I suddenly have a desperate need to somehow persuade Richard to take up the ukulele purely so Jeremy can make a comment along those lines.

But Clarkson with a ukulele would be absolutely hilarious.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

So what you're saying is that someone needs to write a fic where the TG3 learn to play random musical instruments that they've picked for each other?

Someone could pick a tuba for Jeremy ("To go with your fat mouth, mate.") and something hideously complicated for James.

[lo0o0ony-lauren.livejournal.com]

BLATANTLY SOMEONE MUST WRITE THIS.

Preferably with UOGB cameos, djgowbgrgtrw, someone go attack strangeumbrella in the face please.

[rionaleonhart]

I can picture James playing the harp. They could have their own mini string-band: harp, ukulele and banjo. Purely because I find banjos hilarious for no good reason.

[rionaleonhart]

(Actually, you're absolutely right; the tuba is the perfect instrument for Jeremy. That or the trombone.)

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

indeed, how the political views of the Top Gear team might be influenced by a zombie attack?
THIS.

also, we neeeeeeeed to met for the awesomeness. ♥

we can plot jack/fran/balthier and you can watch me fail miserably at FFXII!

[rionaleonhart]

YES IT WILL BE GREAT. I go to Sussex around the twenty-second; I might take a while to settle into university, but then I will set a weekend aside so I can visit you and we can be awesome together.

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

Yay! ♥

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

Zombie biology should be a commoner topic of conversation.

[rionaleonhart]

It really isn't discussed nearly enough. Why do zombies bleed so readily if their blood presumably isn't being pumped around their bodies any longer? Wouldn't it thicken, or possibly all collect in their feet?

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's the same mysterious force that keeps them moving around without developing rigor mortis?

[swedish15.livejournal.com]

Good hunting. Draco the Lizard is right, however; posting your plans - and not even flocking them - is rather dangerous. Still, nothing's lost. You could revert to *luring* her to your lair, er, home. And then pamper until she doesn't want to leave. Seems to work adorable for any person who isn't me.

Again, good hunting. And do not keep us posted; the sudden disappearance of your prey is notice enough.

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

One of these pictures is of Joseph (from the musical, not my brother) looking adorably embarrassed in his wonderfully ridiculous Egyptian slave skirt-thing and knee-length socks

Hey, he's wearing clothes! That's more than he got in the movie, which was just his skirt and little collar-thing.

[rionaleonhart]

Well, the shirt didn't last for long; it was ripped off by dancing girls approximately two minutes into the song.