rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (we shall see)
Riona ([personal profile] rionaleonhart) wrote2008-08-31 11:47 am

Your Vampires Don't Make Sense.

[livejournal.com profile] reipan: Edward's got two degrees. School bores him senseless. Why does he still go there?
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: There must be some reason. Some sparkly reason.
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: I suppose having the vampires not go to school would sort of ruin Twilight. 'Here are Edward and Bella! They never meet! ...the end!'
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: Maybe, maybe the sparkles command the vampires to stay in school because they fancy the teacher or something.
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: The sparkles can't speak, Hats.
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: Maybe they can.
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: ...sentient sparkles?
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: When Edward is angsting, he runs off to talk to them. 'My sparkles are my only friends!'


[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: Seriously, why isn't James gorgeous? Vampires are supposed to be gorgeous. She says in the books that it's a biological prey-attracting thing.
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: Maybe he's James of Team Rocket.
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: ...and the Team Rocket incompetence genes fused with the sparkly vampire gorgeousness genes to create something not quite so gorgeous?
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: Or maybe he was really ugly to begin with, and the vampire venom can only do so much.
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: That makes sense! Or... as much sense as anything in these books does.
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: It's in my brain now. I want Bella and Edward to join Team Rocket. Bella's Pokémon would fairly obviously be a Jigglypuff, or possibly a Chansey... what would Edward have? What sparkles?


[livejournal.com profile] reipan: I don't buy that the vampires can't sleep. I mean, sleep isn't just a physical thing; it's also psychological. Why haven't all the vampires gone crazy yet?
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: Are you sure they haven't? Maybe the vampires have some sparkly sleep-alternative.
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: Why aren't they having wild hallucinations?
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: Maybe they are! Maybe their brains try to cope with the lack of sleep by dreaming while they're awake.
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: Being in school can't make that easy. 'Excuse me, Miss, I have to go. There's a unicorn in the corner, and it's staring at me.'
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: 'Oh, Edward, I love you so.'
'That's great, Bella, but we have to save the townsfolk from the evil unicorns. To the Cullenmobile!'
'...Edward, you've just massacred another town of innocents. They're not unicorns! They don't even have horns!'
[livejournal.com profile] reipan: 'Oh, Edward, I love you so.'
'That's great, but... aren't you my mother?'
[livejournal.com profile] rionaleonhart: Oh, those wacky Cullens. I wish we'd written Twilight.