The Moral Of The Story Is 'We Are Hopeless'.

[rionaleonhart]

I just stumbled across the following conversations with sazzlette and wanttobeatree and laughed until I wept. The first is a long build-up to a beautifully appalling punchline; the second just makes me crack up every time I read it.



rionaleonhart: I now need the longsuffering adventures of Castiel and Uriel more than ever.
rionaleonhart: I bet Uriel teases Castiel all the time for his crush on Dean.
wanttobeatree: NO
wanttobeatree: GO AWAY
wanttobeatree: THIS IS MY SAFE SPACE
wanttobeatree: THIS IS NOT A SPACE FOR DEAN/CASTIEL
rionaleonhart: I'M SORRY
sazzlette: ahhhhhhahahahaaha
rionaleonhart: AFTER THIS EPISODE ('Heaven and Hell')
wanttobeatree: NO
rionaleonhart: I'M SORRY
wanttobeatree: NO
wanttobeatree: NO
wanttobeatree: NO
wanttobeatree: NO
wanttobeatree: NO
rionaleonhart: I HAVE TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH
wanttobeatree: NO
wanttobeatree: DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE
rionaleonhart: It's unrequited, if that helps?
wanttobeatree: no
sazzlette: i do not really approve of it in any kind of ACTUAL sense
sazzlette: just
sazzlette: castiel having a weird fixation with dean
rionaleonhart: It doesn't help?
rionaleonhart: Well, then, it is requited.
rionaleonhart: Dean lies in Castiel's manly arms
sazzlette: aklsdkl
rionaleonhart: (and by 'manly' I mean 'angelic')
wanttobeatree: I am going to rape your face with killer bees
sazzlette: mangelic
rionaleonhart: in a field of flowers
wanttobeatree: KILLER BEES OF RAPE
rionaleonhart: under the staaaaaaaars
wanttobeatree: THE FLOWERS ARE FULL OF RAPING BEES
rionaleonhart: Castiel softly glowing with pleasure
wanttobeatree: oh no
wanttobeatree: oh no
sazzlette: sparkling
sazzlette: like edward cullen
rionaleonhart: YES
sazzlette: DISTURBING CROSSOVERS
wanttobeatree: and then
wanttobeatree: he rubs his cock up and down their intermingled come collection
wanttobeatree: is this... pleasure?
rionaleonhart: Castiel, alas, has no cock.
wanttobeatree: no
rionaleonhart: Their love transcends mere sexual, er, sex.
wanttobeatree: go away with your castration rumours
rionaleonhart: Anyway. Under the stars.
wanttobeatree: rape face bees
rionaleonhart: CHERRY BLOSSOM FLOATING IN THE BREEZE
wanttobeatree: RAPE
wanttobeatree: FACE
wanttobeatree: BEES
rionaleonhart: "Oh, Cassie," Dean whispers, fluttering his eyelashes.
sazzlette: zadsfkl gtfo
wanttobeatree: ... yeah but that's just verging into
wanttobeatree: yknow
wanttobeatree: cassie
rionaleonhart: "Today has been simply... angelic."
wanttobeatree: dean is pretending his cockless angel lover is his exgirlfriend?
rionaleonhart: Yes.
sazzlette: that's just like dean.
rionaleonhart: Castiel knows he is being used, but he loves Dean too much to give up what little he has.
wanttobeatree: there is a cock joke in there somewhere
wanttobeatree: jfyi
sazzlette: DELLA WOULD HAVE MADE IT
wanttobeatree: KNOCK KNOCK?
sazzlette: WHO'S THERE
wanttobeatree: CASS
sazzlette: CASS WHO?
wanttobeatree: CASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
wanttobeatree: TRATION



And the second, which is entirely devoid of Supernatural references, spoilery or otherwise:

wanttobeatree: I very almost spat a mouthful of soup out to lol at you
sazzlette: ahaha ir ead that as soap
sazzlette: i was like LOL YOU'RE EATING SOAP WHAT
rionaleonhart: I once ate soap.
wanttobeatree: ... for
wanttobeatree: a reason?
rionaleonhart: It was shaped like an apple and smelt like an apple.
wanttobeatree: sauidfkdlgfosdap
wanttobeatree: omg
wanttobeatree: you are shit
rionaleonhart: I wanted to see whether they had covered all the senses.
wanttobeatree: I once tried to eat a stone
rionaleonhart: I BET YOU HAD LESS EXCUSE
wanttobeatree: a friend had this bowlful of them and he told me they were that magical stone-looking candy
wanttobeatree: but no
wanttobeatree: it was just a bowl of stones

Comments

[nixwilliams.livejournal.com]

CASSSSSSSSSS TRATION

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"I bet Uriel teases Castiel all the time for his crush on Dean."

Dean/Castiel, it's like Jeremy/Will Young, in a way!

[rionaleonhart]

Wait, does this mean that Clarkson and Hammond are angels? Because I find that hard to believe.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Well, we have already established that angels aren't necessarily angelic.

[johnnypurple.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[iwrotethissong.livejournal.com]

raping bees, I lol'd.

x helen

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

In conclusion: I AM AWESOME.

[bouncywild.livejournal.com]

YOU HAD ME AT 'THIS IS NOT A SPACE FOR DEAN/CASTIEL'.

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

D: *clings onto you* SOMETIMES I FEEL SO ALONE.

[bouncywild.livejournal.com]

*clings tight* You're not alone! I'm in the minority with TWO of my friends, plus you - we're practically a team! D: So don't give up!

[onlyonechoice.livejournal.com]

I loved the killler bees of rape :)

Made me giggle during a craptastic week!

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

You should write the long-suffering adventures of Castiel and Uriel. I would read it. *prods*

Face-rape bees. *sporfle*

[counteragent.livejournal.com]

wanttobeatree: CASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
wanttobeatree: TRATION


hahahahahahahaah

[cosmicwaffles.livejournal.com]

...I must be the weirdest person on the planet.

I love eating soap suds/bubbles. Seriously.

[rionaleonhart]

That is... pretty weird, I have to say. I did not enjoy my soap-eating experiment.

[cosmicwaffles.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not like I bite the soap. :P And soap does burn the throat, I have found out. I JUST LIKE EATING BUBBLES.

(Especially unscented bubbles don't judge me. ;))

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

CASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

TRATION

I lol'd far too hard D:

[calamitysxchild.livejournal.com]

maaaaan why am I not that awesome??

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Face-raping killer bees of rape! They're like Pyramid Head in a way! Only smaller and more insect-like!

And CASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TRATION! Brilliant!

I don't think I ever ate soap. As a child I used to eat Kleenex (and staples, and pencil erasers). I don't really have an explanation for that.

ETA: Also, if your friends are cooler than mine, and you're one of my friends, does that mean your friends are cooler than you? Because they might kill me with awesome if that's the case.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

You should read this fic: http://deadbeat-nymph.livejournal.com/16585.html

[vzg.livejournal.com]

I COULD NOT BREATHE AFTER READING THAT SECOND PART. I hope you're happy. I am!

I READ IT AGAIN and then I hurt myself laughing. AGAIN.

[thebaconfat.livejournal.com]

it was just a bowl of stones

ROFLMAO

[slasherfersure.livejournal.com]

CAPSLOCK CANNOT CAPTURE MY IMMEDIATE JOY AFTER READING THIS. :D

MUST. READ. AGAIN.

[bouncywild.livejournal.com]

THIS IS NOT A SPACE FOR DEAN/CASTIEL

THIS.

AND ALSO: AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA. Slayed me.

[rionaleonhart]

At first I did not understand Castiel/Dean at all, but now all I can see when I look at Castiel is his massive angelic crush. I AM SORRY FOR FAILING YOU.