Commando 8: This Time It's Personaler.

[rionaleonhart]

Apparently, my writer's block has spread to writing Livejournal entries, which cannot be a good sign.

My brother and his friends have apparently taken it upon themselves to watch as many Arnold Schwarzenegger films as they can get their hands on, and I have been joining them, because, whilst 'THINGS BLOWING UP/GETTING SHOT/GETTING SHOT AND THEN BLOWING UP' isn't usually my genre, it is a fairly hilarious experience. Commando is probably my favourite so far, just for the ridiculous one-liners. 'I HAD TO LET HIM GO.' 'LET OFF SOME STEAM.' Amazing. I suspect the writers came up with the one-liners first and then wrote in the events to accommodate them.

Here is an exercise for you: the next time you are watching a film, imagine that every role is being played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. We tried this with Mamma Mia! recently, and it immediately became so much better. (This also works with BRIAN BLESSED.)



Oh, Kingdom Hearts II, I love your ending. Most of the game is about Sora running around and saving Disney worlds with Donald Duck and Goofy, but from the ending you'd think you'd just played through the Gradually-Unfolding Love Story of Sora and Riku.

(I would be extremely happy to play through the Gradually-Unfolding Love Story of Sora and Riku, but Kingdom Hearts II, prior to the World That Never Was, isn't it.)



Something I hadn't realised before: the relationship between Sora and Kairi is never made explicitly romantic. They are always friends, first and foremost. And there's plenty of subtext, with the paopu fruit and Donald's teasing and so on, but that's all.

I sort of like that. The idea of Sora/Kairi as a romantic relationship makes me really sad, just because Riku is excluded. You can't exclude Riku! (Sora/Riku and Riku/Kairi I can handle, even if Sora/Riku/Kairi is cuter, because Sora and Kairi are cheerful enough to be able to cope with being outside their friends' romantic relationship. Riku is much more likely to brood and retreat into the daaaaarkness in his heart. (Also, he's my favourite, so I may be biased.))

Oh, dear, and now I'm imagining Sora, Riku and Kairi all being replaced by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Donald is replaced by Arnold Schwarzenegger with a poorly-edited-in duck's bill.

Let's not think about this.


I've just remembered: during the Asylum convention, someone asked Jared Padalecki who should portray Future Sam Winchester, aged forty or fifty or sixty. The inexplicable suggestion offered by a member of the audience was 'Zac Efron'. The obvious real answer is 'Arnold Schwarzenegger'. Jared is slowly turning into him anyway, so it makes sense.

Comments

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

All I know about Commando is that there is a homage shot to it in MGS3 during an otherwise dramatic and plot important moment and it is hilarious. Speaking of which, how are you doing with MGS1?

The inexplicable suggestion offered by a member of the audience was 'Zac Efron'.

...This really isn't improving my opinion of the SPN fandom.

[rionaleonhart]

All I know about Commando is that there is a homage shot to it in MGS3 during an otherwise dramatic and plot important moment and it is hilarious.

Ahahaha, really? That's excellent.

I have to confess that I started playing Kingdom Hearts II in order to alleviate my shame at being so bad at Metal Gear Solid, and kept playing it because, having reminded myself that I am actually good at some games, I couldn't face the shame again. Now that I have finished it, though, I shall probably once again brave Metal Gear Solid!


You don't see Zac Efron as fifty-year-old Sam Winchester? I think he could probably pull it off.

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

I don't know - thinking about it, Zefron has that same kind of ridiculously pretty look that Sam would still probably have at fifty.

But seriously, though, I have the biggest (and most relationship-thwarting) thing for implausibly attractive older men, so I'm looking forward to finding out who gets cast.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Has Batman and Robin been watched yet? It is a TERRIBLE movie, but there are about a gazillion ice/cold-related puns.

[rionaleonhart]

Not yet, but, ooh, that sounds rather fun. (Terrible Schwarzenegger films are clearly the best. Predator was a bit too genuinely unsettling for me to enjoy.)

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Schwarzenegger plays a villain named Mr. Freeze, and spends the entire time in a coldsuit and saying things like 'ice to meet you'.

[rionaleonhart]

That sounds awful and hilarious and I must see it.

[timydamonkey.livejournal.com]

Have you seen that film (I think it's called Identity or something like that) wherein some guy who is played by Arnold Schwartzneggar is supposedly running around in a virtual world or something, or is being convinced that he has, which inexplicably leads to lots of running, shooting and explosions? (I watched this years ago with my dad.) It was amazing.

I like all 3 of the main Kingdom Hearts characters. Kairi grated in places in the original, but improved in the second. Riku is kinda awesome though.

Your Schwartzneggar imaginations, however, are terrifying.

[rionaleonhart]

Not yet, but clearly I should see it!

Kairi improved a great deal in the second game! I still remember seeing the opening video for the first time and having a 'wait, what, Kairi's hot now?' reaction. (Not that her appearance was the only way in which she improved, but it didn't hurt.)

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Have you gotten to Junior and Kindergarten Cop yet? Because while Arnold (I usually refer to actors by their last names, but in his case I can't usually spell it) is great in action films, he's even better in comedy.

[rionaleonhart]

Not yet; I fear I may have missed the viewing of Kingdom Hear (whoops) Kindergarten Cop, actually. I'm quite interested to see how Schwarzenegger manages in comedy.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Plus, Junior comes with bonus Emma Thompson!

[rimon.livejournal.com]

Arnold Schwarzenegger automatically makes everything hilarious.

Why is Jared Padalecki slowly turning into Schwarzenegger? (I have seen only half a season of Supernatural so I don't know what this is about, but I am somewhat alarmed by the idea.)

[rionaleonhart]

Every time Jared Padalecki has a shirtless scene, he is more ridiculously muscular. It is frightening. When he is shirtlessly snogging a tiny girl (er, referring to physical size, not age) in the fourth season, he looks as if he could swallow her whole.

[rimon.livejournal.com]

...Scary!