Trabia Garden

Like many households, we opted not to watch the Eurovision Song Contest this year. On the day of the final, we had an 'alternative' Eurovision evening instead: we fired up the speaker and had a home karaoke session. The theme was 'past Eurovision songs and songs that feel fitting for Eurovision'. It was a lot more fun than actual Eurovision, I suspect!

(For the information of anyone else who's boycotting Eurovision this year: none of the YouTube links in this entry go to official Eurovision channels.)

We ended up deciding against having guests, because it's been a busy few weeks and we didn't have the energy to host, so it was just the four of us (or the three of us with Ginger spectating, as Ginger prefers not to take the microphone). It would have been fun to have people over, but, at the same time, the fact I was very close with everyone there meant it was slightly less intimidating to sing in languages I didn't know a word of, so perhaps it's for the best!

I kicked off the evening with the eternal masterpiece 'Wolves of the Sea' by Pirates of the Sea (Latvia, Eurovision 2008). My first performance of a karaoke session is always a bit wobbly, because I tend to start out nervous and then gain confidence over the course of the song, but this was a lot of fun. The others quickly started joining in on the choruses; it's very catchy!

My other performances:

- Duncan Laurence, 'Arcade' (Netherlands, Eurovision 2019). I've had this song stuck in my head a lot recently on account of rereading 'The Arcade' by Gnine, one of my all-time favourite Final Fantasy XV fics; it's a great outsider-POV piece about Prompto and his friendship with Noct.

- Marija Šerifović, 'Molitva' (Serbia, Eurovision 2007). I was nervous about singing in Serbian, but this went surprisingly well! Very dramatic and fun to belt out. It helped that nobody in the audience knew Serbian.

- Keiino, 'Spirit in the Sky' (Norway, Eurovision 2019), an incredible banger that should not be confused with any different and terrible songs that might happen to be called 'Spirit in the Sky'. This was fun, but it was also extremely challenging! It's very much a song for three people, and singing it solo required a lot of wild leaps between octaves and languages.

- ABBA, 'Waterloo' (Sweden, Eurovision 1974). Look, you can't have Eurovision karaoke without performing 'Waterloo'. It's against the law.

I also sang backup on Rei's performance of 'The Dream Daddy for Me' by JT Music (very much not a Eurovision song), a rap about the dating sim Dream Daddy, which was an absolute blast, and on Tem's performance of 'I'm Ready', in case any complacent fools thought they might get through the evening without hearing any songs from Death Note: The Musical.

I was very impressed by the performances; it felt like everyone really pulled out the stops, and, appropriately for the occasion, it was very multilingual. In addition to English, Rei sang in Japanese ('I don't wanna get out of futon' by Uchikubi Gokumon Doukoukai), Italian ('Zitti e buoni' by Måneskin, Italy, Eurovision 2021; I said 'holy shit' aloud when Rei launched into rapid Italian rapping) and increasingly fast Ukrainian ('Shum' by Go_A, Ukraine, Eurovision 2021).

Tem sang the Eurovision song 'Who the Hell Is Edgar?' by Teya and Salena (Austria, Eurovision 2023), which I'd somehow forgotten about completely even though it's about being possessed by Edgar Allan Poe, and the Eurovision-adjacent 'Money, Money, Money' by Abba. Xe also performed 'Idol' by YOASOBI and 'Gimme chocolate!!' by BABYMETAL, both of which looked absolutely exhausting. Tem's passionate BABYMETAL dancing had to be cut short, alas, because it kept causing terrible audio feedback whenever the microphone pointed at the speaker.

The final song was 'Eurovusion (Open Up)' by Two Hearts, which everyone joined in on. It's not technically a Eurovision song, but it is a song about Eurovision (and also a blast).

To end the evening, we watched the 2008 film version of Mamma Mia!, which was also good ridiculous fun! Tem had never seen Mamma Mia! before and, indeed, hadn't heard much ABBA. 'I don't know why I haven't been watching this film on a regular basis,' xe commented. 'This is the best film ever made.'

Tem had glittered up dramatically for the occasion, meaning that, using our shared bathroom afterwards, I ended up covered in collateral glitter. This is not a rare occurrence. I've become a lot more sparkly ever since Tem joined our household.

Nobody ever told me Die Hard was so relevant to my interests! How have I been allowed to go this long without seeing this film?

We watched Die Hard on Christmas Day. I sat down expecting a badass, confident action hero, and instead I got a guy who's cornered and terrified and falling apart, increasingly bloodied and in pain. It was... well, like Christmas.


Tem and I finished playing Raging Loop a couple of weeks ago. It is perhaps the stupidest game I've ever experienced.

We mentioned how stupid it was to Rei, who asked, 'Stupider than AI: The Somnium Files?'

'Yes,' Tem and I replied in unison, without hesitation. AI: The Somnium Files includes a scene in which your eyeball lures terrorists into dancing in Minecraft in order to get them abducted by aliens. But Raging Loop is stupider.

It feels like Raging Loop fell into our world from a parallel universe, or was written by aliens who've researched humans thoroughly but haven't quite managed to grasp everything. Both the actions and the reasoning of the characters are incomprehensible. Haruaki leaps to absurd conclusions on the flimsiest evidence, and everyone goes 'ah, that makes sense' when he explains it, and he is always correct.

We both started yelling at the screen in disbelief when Haruaki started going, 'Ah, yes, obviously there's not actually anything supernatural going on here; it's all just human activity.' YOU ARE CAUGHT IN A TIME LOOP. You've been able to gather all this evidence of human involvement BECAUSE YOU ARE CAUGHT IN A TIME LOOP.

There were aspects of this visual novel I enjoyed! I love the bit where trying out two options, both of which get you killed, unlocks the ability to throw a tantrum because you keep getting killed, which also gets you killed. I liked Mocchi and Kiyonosuke 'let me help you hit on my crush; here's my business card' Nosato and Chiemi; Chiemi's dynamic with Haruaki ended up being fascinatingly screwed up. I enjoyed this magnificent exchange:

'Is this what a fight between adult women looks like?'
'Pretty sure adult women fight by slapping each other with their tits.'

(Also a great line: 'After she killed me sixty-three times, it finally started to get to me.')

But the plot is just nonsense. I've enjoyed plenty of stories where the plot is over-the-top and ridiculous, and I love a well-executed stupid twist, but the plot of Raging Loop flat-out does not make sense.

It's entirely possible that Mocchi is my favourite character because he's supposed to be a weird person, so the fact that everything in this game is SO WEIRD bothers me less when he's involved.

There are a handful of Elton John songs I've always really liked - 'Your Song', 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road', 'I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues' - but I didn't know much about the man himself and I didn't have any particular plans to see Rocketman. The sum total of my previous knowledge about Elton John:

- he has red hair and likes tinted glasses
- he's good at music
- he's gay, and my mum remembers exactly where she was when she received this earth-shattering news

I'm glad th_esaurus persuaded me to see the film with her yesterday, because I enjoyed it a lot! Some notes:

- No kid has ever had more fun than the child actor who got to perform 'The Bitch Is Back'.

- 'Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting' has never caught my attention before, but the scene in the film was great fun; it really kicked things off after the opening. So much energy!

- RD claims that the 'Honky Cat' sequence is basically 'I Want It All' from High School Musical 3. My objection to this: Elton John already has everything Sharpay wants! Fame, fortune, sparkly outfits, cute boys. Elton John is living Sharpay's dream.

- I assumed Elton John's speed at songwriting was exaggerated in the film, but apparently not; here's the man himself setting an oven manual to music on the spot.

- I really liked the film's depiction of Elton's first kiss with a man. This fleeting, unexpected, powerful moment that left him going '????? oh no'.

- The 'Your Song' scene was painful and lovely. I really felt Bernie's agonising position of 'I really care about this person and I know they're in love with me and I don't love them back'.

- (The text message th_esaurus sent me while ironing out an Elton/Bernie fic idea is one of my favourites I've ever received: and it would be second person POV so i don't have to write "said elton john" at any point.)

- Last weekend, when I visited my parents (who had recently seen Rocketman), my dad said, 'There's a certain amount of gay sex in this film, and actually I thought it was quite erotic.' This was all I could think about during the sex scene. I was very unhappy.

It turns out that people really don't know how to react when they're offering their cat a treat, and you take the cat treat out of their hand and pop it into your mouth.

(She yelped and reflexively hit me, then said, 'Oh, I'm sorry I hit you! I didn't know what else to do!')

Talking about this with my housemates later:

Ginger: I want to know what was going through your head.
Riona: I was on the sofa with the cat next to me. RD had the packet of cat treats, and she took one out, and I was just lying there thinking, 'The cat treat is going to come into my range. I could eat the cat treat. There's nothing to prevent me from eating the cat treat.'
Rei: Oh, so it was premeditated. You schemed.
Riona: No! I wasn't actually planning to eat it; it was hypothetical! I wasn't expecting to do it! And then I did!


In other news, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is a genuinely excellent film. The visual style was extremely cool. Very comic-book inspired. I've never seen anything quite like it before.

Spoilers below the cut:


( Spoilers for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. )


I really enjoyed this film, and I recommend it if you have any fondness for Spider-Man or interest in animation at all. I'm generally tired of superhero films, but this felt like something fresh and fun.

I could marry the fifth series of The Mentalist. Only five episodes in and it's already everything I ever wanted. I think I squeaked with excitement when I realised what 'Red Dawn' was dealing with. (AND WE GOT THE COUCH'S ORIGIN STORY, AMAZING.)

I tend to drift away from American television around the fourth or fifth series - American series are just so long, and I find they often start to feel like they're exhausting themselves by that point - so I'm thrilled that The Mentalist is still holding my interest so strongly. I suppose it doesn't hurt that Jane and Lisbon are two of my favourite characters of all time. Slightly worried about where The Mentalist might end up - the more it delves into Patrick Jane's considerable dark side, the less certain I become about just how deep that dark side goes; without his love for the team to keep him human, who knows what he would be by now? He's already gone terrifyingly far even with the anchor of his attachment to the team - but I'm certainly going to enjoy seeing it get there.


More Final Fantasy XIII-2! The plot of this game is completely incoherent and ridiculous. Normal time travel stories deal with the concept that changing the past changes the future; Final Fantasy XIII-2 insists that IF YOU CHANGE THE FUTURE, YOU CHANGE THE PAST.

It took me a while to warm up to Noel the first time I played, so it's nice to play through the early scenes again with a better appreciation of his character. He doesn't have much understanding of social norms, because he comes from a time when you'll probably be eaten by a monster before you're thirty and therefore have more important things to worry about than avoiding embarrassment in polite society, and he resents people who leave others to fend for themselves and he makes terrible jokes and he's fundamentally the ultimate Hufflepuff (not that that's a surprise, because every male party member in the Final Fantasy XIII universe - Sazh, Snow, Hope, Noel - is Hufflepuff through and through). The problem with liking Noel now (and with my fondness for the Noel-Serah friendship) is that I get really conflicted over which Live Trigger options to choose. I want to see all the possible dialogue! Stop restricting me to one option of four!

I sort of want to write Hope/Serah (when Hope is in his twenties, not when he's fourteen), because they would be adorable, but I can't because both the characters and I would feel too bad about Snow. Snow left and hasn't been seen for years, yes, but that's not exactly going to alleviate Serah's guilt; he left to find Lightning, because he was the only one who believed Serah when she insisted that Lightning was still alive. And obviously Snow and Hope have had a very strong connection ever since they got over that, you know, attempted murder thing.

You can't write Hope/Serah. It would be like that scene in (the original) Bedazzled where both the woman and her lover spend their entire tryst in tears, sobbing about how wonderful her husband is. Which is a shame, because Hope and Serah would be such a cute couple if they didn't have all that guilt to deal with.

Well, Derren Brown's The Gameshow was the most uncomfortable thing I've watched in a very long time. Probably the one thing of Derren Brown's I'd actively advise against watching. I felt quite ill. I shook all over. I almost cried at one point. It was meant to be horrible, of course, but - although it's obviously better than a programme that isn't aware it's horrible - that didn't make it much less horrible.

I sincerely hope that Dave stayed in that poor man's house and baked him a cake or something.

In looking at reactions on Twitter, I've seen a few people going 'WELL, THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING; OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GO FOR THE MORE ENTERTAINING OPTION'. I don't think 'people will value their own entertainment over the comfort of another human being' is an insignificant thing to prove. No, that's not the problem with The Gameshow.

Here's the problem with The Gameshow: Kris should have been an actor. The Gameshow wasn't about the victim; it was about the audience deciding what happened to him. Remote Control was not a real show. So why did a real person have to suffer? Because it made better television, of course, which raises the question: what right do the creators of the programme have to judge the audience? (Ultimately, I suppose nothing really awful happened to him and my thoughts on his experience have been coloured by my constant fear throughout the programme of how far it might go, rather than by how far it actually went, but he still had a pretty rubbish night.)

The other problem with The Gameshow is that they were clearly nudging the audience towards the negative decisions - by referring to Kris as 'the target', by showing that clip where he admitted to cheating on his girlfriend, by emphasising that Kris was a practical joker. To Derren's credit, he did show us these little manipulations; he's said in the past that, despite being a massive professional liar, he doesn't want anyone to watch one of his shows and see something that gives the wrong impression through heavy editing. But I think the experiment would have been more interesting and meaningful if it had shown whether an audience without these little pushes would still have devolved to the point where they were baying for a man's property to be destroyed.

Not that the manipulation made the audience's actions excusable, but, if this programme was genuinely made in the spirit of investigation, it did probably muddy the result. Although I suppose it depends on what exactly the aim of the investigation was. If it's about crowds being easily led from without, I suppose the manipulation isn't a problem; crowds often follow a leader, after all. If it's about how the crowd mentality works from within, though, it could have been better executed. The Gameshow did make a point (the television, the kidnap - by that point I was genuinely astonished by the audience's conduct), but perhaps it could have made a better one. (EDIT: Oh, hang on, there's currently a clip on the Channel 4 website ('Derren Discusses The Gameshow') in which Derren mentions that the gameshow format is often geared towards manipulation and bringing out the nastier side of people, and that the same group of people obviously wouldn't behave like that on the streets, so the easily-led crowd hypothesis seems to be the one he's working with.)

The ending and this low-level manipulation were very much tied together. On the one hand, the ending certainly made an impact; on the other, that ending relied on the audience making consistently negative decisions. It was in Derren's interests to push the audience in a behaving-badly direction so he could break out the impressive ending and hit them with the consequences of their actions, but of course that means that he himself became in part responsible for those actions. The moral message would have been stronger had the audience followed their own path into iniquity. As it was, it felt a little like the bearer of that moral message led them into a trap.

I still think Derren Brown is brilliant, and I'm looking forward to the other shows in the Experiments series, but, no, I wouldn't recommend The Gameshow. It undermines its own message too much to make the intense discomfort of watching up to that message worth it.

Incidentally, why does anyone ever apply to take part in one of Derren Brown's programmes? HE'S JUST GOING TO DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO YOU. EVEN WHEN HE'S TRYING TO BE NICE HE DOES HORRIBLE THINGS.

(Speaking of intensely uncomfortable things: I watched the film adaptation of We Need to Talk About Kevin earlier this week, not having read the book beforehand (if I recall correctly, it took me about three pages to realise I couldn't get on with the writing style). I kept waking up in the night afterwards and having to imagine that Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle were gathered around my bed, ready to protect me from any Kevins that might come near.

I'm - I'm a grown-up.

We Need to Talk About Kevin is also flawed, incidentally, because, whilst perfect characters are dull, so are characters with literally no redeeming features. Why do we have to talk about Kevin? Can't we talk about someone more interesting?)

In case anyone who might be interested missed it on account of my terrible timing: I posted an X-Men: First Class fic whilst Livejournal was being difficult! No common sense. It is about Raven and Erik and Charles and their relationships with each other. It is also, inevitably, about Pokémon.


Over the weekend, I stayed with mogamus_ii! She had the first two X-Men films on DVD, so, at my request, we watched them.

I went into the films hoping to see more of the fascinating relationship between Erik and Charles. By the end of X2, they could have had sex right there on the screen and I wouldn't have noticed.

I am 'shipping Rogue and Logan more than I have ever 'shipped anything in my life.

No, seriously, it twisted my insides when I realised that the films were going to go the Logan/Jean route instead. I was so oblivious to any tension between them that, close to the end of the first film, this happened:

Jean: I think she's a little taken with you.
Logan: Well, you can tell her my heart belongs to someone else.
Riona: Wait, what? NO. NO IT DOESN'T. Who?
Logan: How's the professor?
Riona: He's in love with Charles?

Not that there necessarily wasn't any tension between Logan and Jean; it's quite possible that they were constantly setting the air between them aflame and I simply didn't notice because I was so busy hoping for more Logan-Rogue interaction.

I don't know how this pairing hit me so hard and so fast! During the truck scene after Logan and Rogue's first meeting, I was fascinated by the atmosphere and the dynamic, although thoughts of pairing them up hadn't occurred to me yet. By the train scene, I was shouting 'GET MARRIED' at the screen.

And then there was that intensely awkward scene at the beginning of X2 between Logan and Rogue and Rogue's boyfriend and I was dying with how much I needed Logan and Rogue to be together. X-MEN FILMS WHY ARE LOGAN AND ROGUE NOT MAKING OUT CONSTANTLY

I MEAN, YES, ROGUE'S MUTATION WOULD KILL ANYONE SHE MADE OUT WITH, BUT OTHER THAN THAT YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.

I don't feel remotely capable of writing X-Men: First Class fanfiction myself, but it's still quite fun to speculate on stupid AU ideas. Erik and Charles could found Hogwarts together! I thought at first that they might fall out because Erik was uncomfortable with accepting Muggle-born students, but of course that wouldn't work; this is presumably a world in which magic is a genetic mutation and has been hidden by individuals who believe themselves to be alone, so pure-bloodedness/half-bloodedness/Muggle-bornedness wouldn't really exist as concepts. Maybe Charles has dreams of a world in which magic and Muggles coexist, whilst Erik thinks they'll only survive if they create their own community unknown by Muggles, parallel but separate, much like the wizarding world in the actual Harry Potter books.

Also, there should be a Misfits crossover in which Charles recruits the ASBO Five and finds himself completely incapable of keeping them in line. Whenever Erik claims that mutants are superior beings, it's a struggle for Charles not to cast his eyes significantly in Nathan's direction.

It doesn't matter that I can't write any ideas I might have, really, because the best possible X-Men: First Class fic already exists. It is a Groundhog Day-inspired reworking of the beach scene, and it is over here, and it is amazing. Written by amazingly_me and highly recommended.

Also, I'm obviously totally biased about this because it was written for my prompt, but here is a fabulous little work of Erik/Raven(/Charles) smut in which Charles is a guilt-ridden psychic voyeur and it is everything I could have hoped for and more. (Bit selfconscious about confessing to the prompt, but I thought I'd better be honest about the possibility of bias; besides, if I'd posted the rec on its own there would have been the possibility of someone scrolling down to the OP's response and going 'hang on, this abundance of italics looks awfully familiar', and I'd rather unmask myself than be unmasked.)


Today, I spent quite some time searching for a male Seviper in Pokémon White just so I could nickname it 'Severus Snake'.

Well, 'Sev Snake', because sadly 'Severus Snake' wouldn't fit within the character limit. But you and I know what I meant.

I have absolutely no right to be this pleased with myself.

I had a day out with th_esaurus yesterday! We watched X-Men: First Class in the cinema and ate ice-cream and went to a private art exhibition where I pretended not to be aware of the fact that Matt Berry was standing next to me. It was a wonderful day.

So! X-Men: First Class!


( Thoughts on X-Men: First Class. )


In the post-film discussion (over ice-cream, best day ever):

RD: What I want to read is Erik/Raven fanfiction where she turns into Charles.
Riona: I think I read a Lupin/Tonks fic like that once.
RD: Oh, dear.
Riona: ...where she turned into Charles Xavier.


As we went up the escalator at Liverpool Street, we noticed an advertisement, amongst all the others, saying only 'MIND READING TRICK THIS WAY', with an arrow pointing towards the top of the escalator.

There was no explanation.

We saw nothing unusual at the top.

There is nothing about this on the Internet.

I am a bit afraid that Derren Brown kidnapped us both as we stepped off the escalator and then made us forget about it. (Or maybe Charles Xavier?)

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we'll never be apart. Got it memorised?
Roxas: Ha ha, wow, Axel. That sounded ridiculous.
Axel: What? I thought it was pretty deep.

Roxas: (reading) 'You can't train if you don't chain! Wanna rack up points? Then chain, chain, chain! No chain, no gain!' Okay... I think they want me to chain.

Roxas: I've never had a vacation before.
Axel: Is that right?
Roxas: What's my job during vacation?
Axel: What's your - Roxas, you're really missing the point.

Roxas: Let's see what's behind door number two...
Xaldin: Roxas! We have to keep a low profile, you fool! No more throwing doors open. I won't have it.

Roxas: Nice sofa.
Xaldin: No breaks, Roxas.
Roxas: No, I wasn't - I didn't mean - I was just saying...

Who translated this game? I am really enjoying all the dialogue.

On a less approving note: I have now gone on at least one mission with every regular Organization member (not counting Saïx and Xemnas, who I assume are too busy respectively being leaderish and shouting 'BLARGH HEARTS' at the sky to sneak past animated clocks with me) save Luxord. THIS ISN'T OKAY, DAYS. I DEMAND MORE LUXORD INTERACTION. At the moment he's just sitting in the Grey Area and describing everything in poker metaphors, which is hilarious but not enough.

(OH MY GOODNESS I ONLY JUST REALISED THE SIGNIFICANCE OF CALLING THE ROOM IN WHICH THE ORGANIZATION MEMBERS HANG OUT THE 'GREY AREA'

SHUT UP I'M SLOW.)


At the moment, I am reading The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. It's all very suspenseful and intriguing, but my mind is somewhat ruining the effect by picturing (spoiler, highlight to read) the girl as Xion (so far her primary characteristics are being silent, LIKE XION IN HER FIRST DAYS IN THE ORGANIZATION, and seeming emotionless, ALMOST AS IF SHE IS MISSING HER HEART) and Manchee as the dog from Up. And then there's the cassor, which is clearly Kevin. THE KNIFE OF NEVER LETTING GO: IT'S BASICALLY UP WITH NOBODIES.