Here is the writeup of our family holiday, during which we passed through places with names such as 'Waterley Bottom', 'Giggleswick' and 'Wigglesworth'! The cast are me, my mum, my dad and my two younger brothers, Joseph and Fred. In case you're not sure who 'Harriet' is: that's my real name, which I'm using in this writeup because my family don't call me Riona.
Signs we saw in various pubs:
'This may come as a surprise to you, but your fellow diners do not wish to hear about your colostomy.'
'Husbands and wives do not hold hands or grope each other in public. People having a bit on the side do. It is obvious, embarrassing and silly. Please control your hormones.'
'Should a hand reach up out of the toilet, you are advised not to shake it.'
( Professor McGonagall, where's your monocle? )
By the way, if you ever find a golf ball in a blackberry bush in the Lake District, it is ours. Well, sort of ours. Fred found it in a cluster of trees next to a golf course. I suppose it's technically stolen.
(If you missed them and you're interested, most of the limericks we composed on this holiday are in an entry over here.)
Signs we saw in various pubs:
'This may come as a surprise to you, but your fellow diners do not wish to hear about your colostomy.'
'Husbands and wives do not hold hands or grope each other in public. People having a bit on the side do. It is obvious, embarrassing and silly. Please control your hormones.'
'Should a hand reach up out of the toilet, you are advised not to shake it.'
( Professor McGonagall, where's your monocle? )
By the way, if you ever find a golf ball in a blackberry bush in the Lake District, it is ours. Well, sort of ours. Fred found it in a cluster of trees next to a golf course. I suppose it's technically stolen.
(If you missed them and you're interested, most of the limericks we composed on this holiday are in an entry over here.)
