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Yet more Robert/Chris Goes Wrong fanfiction! And, yet again, I have managed to sneak Robert banging Chris's mother in here. It's my favourite thing.

Title: The Verge
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: 14
Pairing: Robert/Chris, with some Robert/Celia
Wordcount: 3,500
Summary: Chris steels himself. “Do you ever feel something might... happen between us?”

( The Verge )

By wordcount, The Goes Wrong Show is now my fifth most written fandom of all time, even discounting the fifty-plus Goes Wrong fills I wrote for the Three-Sentence Ficathon. This is an insane development; I started writing for this fandom two and a half months ago. Everything else in the top five is something I've been into for a decade or more.

I wonder what's made me fall so hard into writing for this fandom; slapstick stage plays are not my usual fandom fare! My best guess is that it's a combination of factors:

- There's enough Goes Wrong canon for me to get to know and care about the characters, but, at the same time, there is not enough Goes Wrong canon to satisfy me, so I'm uncontrollably driven to create more.

- In particular, there's very little Goes Wrong canon that shows the characters offstage! There's enough to get me interested in what happens offstage, and a couple of fascinatingly insane canonical details about the characters' personal lives (I am never going to be over the fact that Robert has canonically slept with both Chris and Dennis's mothers), but their offstage lives are left as a largely blank canvas that I can't resist painting on. There's a very obvious stretch of unexplored territory, and that sort of thing is always going to invite fanworks.

- Although this is a small fandom and my fics for it don't generally get a large readership, it's got enough life and passion in it to feel like I'm sharing with an enthusiastic small community, rather than dropping my work into a void. I've received a lot of really lovely comments, which have been very encouraging ♥

- I find Robert and Chris's voices very easy to get into. They're both middle-class, English and inclined towards slightly pretentious and/or old-fashioned phrasing, and, let's be honest, so am I.

- I'm very attracted to Robert Grove (as played by Henry Lewis), which is a fun novelty; it's pretty rare for me to find anyone seriously attractive. As a consequence, my writing about him has a refreshingly genuine horniness that I hadn't realised was lacking in a lot of my shipfic! It's very easy for me to write about Chris being attracted to Robert, and to believe wholeheartedly in that attraction, however unhappy Chris might be about it.

- Robert Grove is just a very fun character to write. I think a large part of it is as simple as that. He's loud, he's imposing, he's larger-than-life, he blithely causes problems for everyone, and everything he says or does is ridiculous. Plus he's straightforward in a way that proves extremely handy when writing shipfic; I've often had to struggle with characters who refuse to acknowledge their own feelings or dance endlessly around each other, so it's refreshing to write a character who will decide 'we should have sex' and then make that opinion very clear.

- It's been a long time since I last got heavily into a comedy fandom, and I'd forgotten how much fun it is to write comedy!

I'm so glad I was introduced to this stupid show. This is the best time I've had in a fandom in years.

I think this is the worst title I've ever given a fic.

Fun fact: I've now officially posted an entire quarter of the Robert/Chris fanfiction on AO3. I think this means there's not enough Robert/Chris fanfiction on AO3.

Title: Mixed Beans
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: 14
Pairing: Robert/Chris, with references to Robert/Celia
Wordcount: 2,700
Summary: Robert books a romantic getaway with Chris's mother. There is a misunderstanding.

( Mixed Beans )

Yet more fanfiction for The Goes Wrong Show!

Here's a game you can play: see if you can guess what Chris named the main characters in his play before you read this, on the assumption that Chris just asked himself 'what names do gay men have?'

Title: Ad Libitum
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: 14
Pairing: Robert/Chris
Wordcount: 1,800
Summary: Chris and Robert play lovers on stage. Things do not go as planned.

( Ad Libitum )

I dreamt last night that I followed Robert Grove of The Goes Wrong Show into a bathroom stall in a shopping centre and attempted to solicit sex from him. He just stared at me and left. I can't believe I was rejected when my approach was so normal and irresistible.

As a consequence of this, I have spent a concerning amount of the day thinking about sex with Robert Grove.

My first instinct was that Robert would be a selfish lover, because, well, he's a selfish person. However! What Robert really wants to do, at all times, is put on a performance and get a warm reception from the audience. In bed, you are his audience, and his main interest is getting a good response from you.

This means he will pay attention to your pleasure in bed! If you're not visibly and audibly enjoying yourself, he's not satisfied. Unfortunately, he is ungracious about this; if your response is not to his satisfaction, he will call you a philistine and sulk.

While Robert is likely of the opinion that thrusting harder equals better sex, you can probably get him to do just about anything if you frame it as a role you'd like him to perform. He is willing to perform oral sex, but will grumble that he prefers speaking roles.

My extremely inexpert assessment of the other members of the Cornley Drama Society in bed:

Annie: Great! Bold and enthusiastic, invested in both of you having a good time, introduces you to some fun new fetishes.

Sandra: Sandra and Robert are both very self-absorbed, but, unlike Robert - who seeks to bolster his ego through your reactions - I think Sandra's mainly interested in her own pleasure in bed. She knows what she's doing, though, which is more than can be said for much of the society. You'll probably still have a good time.

Max: Clueless but enthusiastic. Is, like Robert, very invested in you responding well. Probably not bad overall.

Dennis: Clueless and terrified. He's either dreadful or, much to the surprise of both of you, turns out to be the best sex you've ever had.

Vanessa: Has drawn up an agenda for your sexual encounter, assigning time slots for each specific act, and will become very stressed out if you deviate from it. She'd probably be good if she relaxed a little! She will never relax.

Trevor: I have no idea what Trevor is like in bed, and I find it slightly alarming to contemplate. If it's anything like the way he drives, you are in physical danger.

Jonathan: N/A. You will never sleep with Jonathan. You can try! But somehow the two of you will always be prevented from actually performing the deed. He's probably the best lover in the drama society, but you'll never know.

Chris: Terrible. The worst of the lot. He will try! He will fail. Do not sleep with Chris Bean.

I mean, you can if you want to. It's not that bad; he's just deeply repressed in a way that is unlikely to mesh well with 'hey, it's time for a lot of intimacy and physical contact.' The experience is likely to be disappointing, rather than traumatic. But it's going to be so disappointing.

Here are some dreams I've had lately!

( Dreams from December to March. )

On a final and unrelated note: I forgot to mention the most important part of Lost Records: Bloom & Rage!

At one point, protagonist Swann comes across a little pile of rabbit droppings. The game gives you the opportunity to point this out to Swann's friends with the dialogue option 'Hey! Poop!'

I did not take this option, because I thought Swann's friends might find it offputting. My real-life friends are a different matter. Tem and I have been saying 'Hey! Poop!' to each other at every opportunity ever since.

Right! I posted an entry about things that weren't The Goes Wrong Show, and everyone's very proud of me. Time to reward myself with more Goes Wrong fanfiction.

Title: Chekhov's Knife
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Robert/Chris
Wordcount: 2,700
Summary: Robert has the perfect plan for making things up to Chris after the Chekhov's Gun incident. Well, maybe 'perfect' isn't the right word.
Warnings: S... sort of self-harm? It's pretty atypical as self-harm goes, but this is a fic about Robert going 'well, I've injured Chris; obviously our relationship will be fixed if I can get Chris to injure me in return.'

( Chekhov's Knife )

Okay, I'm going to be very brave and make a post that's not about The Goes Wrong Show. Let's talk about videogames! You wouldn't know it from my determination to talk about Robert Grove five hundred percent of the time, but I have played a couple of interesting games lately.

The games in question are Silent Hill f and Lost Records: Bloom & Rage. They're substantially different in gameplay and tone, but they're both on the theme of 'weird, intense, supernatural coming-of-age stories about young women'.

( Thoughts on Silent Hill f. )

( Thoughts on Lost Records: Bloom & Rage. )

Okay! That's your allotted entry about other things. Let's get back to working on my fifteenth Goes Wrong fic.

Apparently I posted fourteen Goes Wrong fics over the course of two months? Not counting the fifty-two Goes Wrong fills I wrote for the Three-Sentence Ficathon? I'm personally responsible for over 20% of the Chris Bean/Robert Grove fics on AO3. This might be the most severely and swiftly a fandom has ever eaten me.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to sustain my Goes Wrong illness, but I'm having a great time while it lasts!

I'm constantly delighted by how bonkers the dynamic between Chris and Robert is. Robert had a relationship with Chris's mother; Chris had a relationship with Robert's sister; are you two sure you're not just trying to sleep with each other by proxy?

Anyway, here's a fic about that.

Title: By Proxy
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show (technically the televised version of A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Robert/Chris, past Chris/Robert's sister, past Robert/Celia
Wordcount: 2,100
Summary: “I wanted to speak to you about your dalliance with my sister.”

( By Proxy )

Death Note: The Musical is coming to London this summer, which is pretty exciting news if you're me!

'Wow, is Riona posting an entry about something that's not The Goes Wrong Show?' - bad news, I'm afraid.

Tem: Are you looking forward to seeing your boy Light Yagami?
Rei: Played by Robert Grove.
Riona: That would be a bold casting decision, but I'd watch it.
Tem: Death Note Goes Wrong. Their 'prop Death Note' is an actual Death Note. They need to write in it during the show, so they just use the names of the people who bought tickets. At the end, they're going 'wow, this was our most successful performance ever, can't wait for the applause,' and the lights go up to reveal the entire audience dead, with Ryuk sitting in the front row and applauding.
Rei: They consider writing Jonathan's name in the Death Note, because it's the only way he'll be included in the play, but they decide against it because he's not part of the audience. That's the only reason he survives.
Riona: Or they write his name in the Death Note, but he survives because they misspell it.

Robert Grove also cannot be entrusted with a Death Note if he knows it's real, of course. If Robert sees an opportunity to secure the role he desires, he will take that opportunity immediately and think about it later, if at all.

Basically, Robert has no particular desire for anyone's death, but he will one hundred percent kill people if it's a straightforward way to get what he wants. I give it a week before he kills Chris in order to get the lead role and then goes '...hmm, I might regret that later.'

Dennis might actually be the safest member of the Cornley Drama Society to entrust with a Death Note. He wouldn't use it with the intention of killing anyone. He would almost certainly forget it kills people and start using it like a normal notebook, which is risky, but if he writes anyone's name he's probably going to misspell it.

Aaaaand then Robert would wrestle the notebook off him and use it to kill Chris so he can have the lead. Let's just not give the Cornley Drama Society a Death Note at all.

This post will consist of various silly Goes Wrong Show-related things I've posted to Tumblr recently!

I posted a poll to Tumblr, asking people for their favourite member of the Cornley Drama Society. The poll closed at 149 votes with Trevor firmly in first place (27.5%), followed by Chris (21.5%), Max (13.4%), Vanessa (10.7%), Annie and Dennis (8.7%), Jonathan (3.4%), Robert and Sandra (2.7%), and Lucy (0.7%).

(I don't think Lucy is an official member of the drama society, but I created this poll to see how things had changed in the three years since

personinthepalace asked the same question, so I thought I'd better make sure I had exactly the same options.)

I'm surprised and a little wounded by my beloved Robert's unpopularity! I'm just going to have to love him hard enough for everyone. (This will not satisfy him.)

Anyway, I wrote a little snippet of the characters reacting to the results:

( The Cornley Drama Society react to my character popularity poll. )

Another poll I've contemplated recently was this one from

questions-about-blorbos: Would you let your blorbo tie you up and do whatever they wanted with you?

My immediate reaction to this was 'oh, GOD.' Awful!! I think the only one of my blorbos who I actually find sexually attractive is Robert Grove of The Goes Wrong Show, but any sexual encounter with him is guaranteed to be regrettable, and involving bondage would be catastrophic. He ties me up and then gets distracted by an argument with Chris and then rehearses without rest for several days straight, and I am left tied to his bed for seventy-two hours.

Whilst I currently answer blorbo-related polls with Robert in mind, on account of being actively insane about him, the character I usually call on for these polls is Light Yagami of Death Note. Also a terrible idea to let him tie you up! I'm not sexually interested in him, he's not going to be sexually interested in me, and, perhaps most crucially: if he does want to tie me up, it's going to be because he wants to either kill me or frame me for murder. All things considered, I'd rather he didn't.

Finally: for Valentine's Day, I posted a Valentine's message from Robert Grove.

Please accept this as an extremely belated token of my affection for all of you.

According to a short in-character promotional video from a while ago, Robert and Chris once got stranded in the Amazon rainforest for several days, and I do love it when characters are stranded together!

Title: Finding the Way
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: slight Robert/Chris
Wordcount: 3,000
Summary: Chris and Robert are stranded in the Amazon rainforest together. It's not a great experience.

( Finding the Way )

It can be a real challenge to characterise the fictional members of the Cornley Drama Society, given that they spend so much of Goes Wrong canon playing other characters. Therefore, I thought I'd see if I could put together a character profile of Robert Grove.

'Are you going to write characterisation guides for the entire drama society?' No. I'll be honest: I just wanted an excuse to talk at length about Robert Grove, because he's perfect.

( Robert Grove: a character summary. )

Robert's best quality as a friend: he will give generously of his time and effort to fix your problem, or at least to fix what he has decided is your problem. This... may not actually be helpful, but it will at least be well-intentioned.

Robert's worst quality as a friend: he will sleep with your mother, insult your acting and throw you under the bus to play the Dane, and he won't even understand why you're annoyed with him afterwards.

In short, Robert is an egotistic and outspoken man with a passion for theatre, an intense sincerity, a vast capacity for self-absorption, a need to be important, a desire for company and an absolute lack of self-awareness. He's relentlessly loud and dramatic. He will refuse to apologise if he doesn't think he's in the wrong, and he will never think he's in the wrong. He's a nightmare. I love him.

I keep thinking 'okay, I must be out of Goes Wrong ideas now' and then writing more! After seeing The Play That Goes Wrong, I'm really curious about how awkward things were between Annie and the rest of the drama society afterwards.

Title: Cast and Crew
Fandom: The Play That Goes Wrong
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,800
Summary: In The Murder at Haversham Manor, Annie finds her calling; she wants to be an actress. After the events of the play, though, her relationship with the drama society might be a little strained.

( Cast and Crew )

In the stage version of Christmas Carol Goes Wrong, Chris canonically refuses to keep the Cornley Playhouse heated, and everyone complains about how cold it is. It seemed like a great excuse to write self-indulgent fanfiction!

As this is based on the 2025 stage version of Christmas Carol Goes Wrong, be aware that some details may not match up with the original 2017 television version.

The title's not great, but the only other thing I could think of was Baby, It's Cold Inside, which would be considerably worse.

Title: Backup Heating
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show (well, technically Christmas Carol Goes Wrong)
Rating: G
Pairing: slight everyone/everyone
Wordcount: 1,600
Summary: During rehearsals for A Christmas Carol, Chris won't allow anyone to use the heating. Clearly, the Cornley Drama Society is just going to have to huddle for warmth.

( Backup Heating )

The 2026 Three-Sentence Ficathon is now at an end! Still open to fills, but there are no new prompts being posted. Here's an eighth and (probably) final roundup of my fills; once again, all of these are for The Goes Wrong Show.

( Assorted ficlets for the Goes Wrong Show, 1,400 words total. )

And that's the end of this Three-Sentence Ficathon! It's my favourite fandom event of the year, and this year in particular I've had an incredible time with it. I ended up writing fifty-six fills, totalling just over ten thousand words; fifty-two of those fills were for The Goes Wrong Show, because I have a problem.

Thank you to everyone for your prompts and comments and fills! Thank you in particular to anyone who read my Goes Wrong Show fics without being familiar with the series; a couple of people even checked the show out because of my fills, which absolutely delighted me. My main goals were to have a good time and spread Goes Wrong propaganda, and I think I've succeeded in both.

After seeing Christmas Carol Goes Wrong at the Apollo Theatre on 14 January, I wrote a post outlining some differences between the official published script and the actual performance I saw. I crossposted it to Tumblr, and a couple of people thanked me for sharing details you wouldn't get from reading the script, so I thought I should see if I could dig up anything else!

Now that I've read through the script in full, here are some more differences I've picked up on between the script and the staged version. Some of these are outright changes from the script; some of them are just performance details (e.g. interesting moments of body language) that aren't included in the stage directions. As this was originally written for a Tumblr audience, there's a bit of overlap with things I've already mentioned on Dreamwidth (specifically in the post I made straight after seeing the play).

( More differences between the script and the actual staged version of Christmas Carol Goes Wrong. )

Getting into a theatre fandom is so strange! It feels like there's simultaneously not enough canon and an infinite quantity of canon, because it's impossible to see every performance. I'm glad The Goes Wrong Show means that at least some parts of Goes Wrong canon exist in a concrete, tangible, rewatchable way.

Another Goes Wrong fic that grew out of a fill for the Three-Sentence Ficathon! I haven't posted the fill in question to this journal, but it was for the prompt 'goodnight kiss'.

'Riona, why would you name a fic Sleep Well if you already have a fic called Sleep Tight in a different fandom?' - look, leave me alone, titles are hard.

Title: Sleep Well
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: PG
Pairing: Robert/Chris, slight everyone/everyone
Wordcount: 1,600
Summary: On account of a booking mishap, the Cornley Drama Society are forced to share a single hotel room. The consequences are confusing.

( Sleep Well )

Here's the seventh roundup of my fills for this year's Three-Sentence Ficathon! Another instalment that's entirely about The Goes Wrong Show; I have far too much fun writing fanfiction about these idiots.

( Assorted ficlets for the Goes Wrong Show, mainly Chris and Robert, 840 words total. )

I've apparently written... fifty fills for this year's ficathon? Fifty? Is that right? That doesn't feel like it can be right. I hadn't realised it was so dangerous to go into Three-Sentence Ficathon season with a specific fandom firmly occupying my mind.

Riona: Okay, I've almost finished this fic; the end is in sight! Now I just need you guys to—
Chris and Robert: Destroy our relationship, right?
Riona: NO

It took some wrestling to deal with the damage the characters (in true Goes Wrong fashion) insisted on doing, but I managed to get the fic finished in the end!

Title: Middle Ground
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: 14
Pairing: Robert/Chris
Wordcount: 3,900
Summary: Robert is in love. Chris isn't. They sleep together anyway. This is probably a great idea.

( Middle Ground )

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Riona

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Recent Entries

Fanfiction: The Verge (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

Unhand Me, You Fiend.

Fanfiction: Mixed Beans (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

Fanfiction: Ad Libitum (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

That Was Not Naturalistic.

Hey! Poop!

Fanfiction: Chekhov's Knife (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

What Was Your Favourite Part About Cocaine?

Fanfiction: By Proxy (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

No Theatrical Production Is Safe For Me To Post About.

Max Was On Almost No Votes And Then Suddenly Jumped Ahead, So Robert Might Point The Finger At Him.

Fanfiction: Finding the Way (The Goes Wrong Show)

Apparently This Is What I Do When I Run Out Of Fic Ideas.

Fanfiction: Cast and Crew (The Goes Wrong Show)

Fanfiction: Backup Heating (The Goes Wrong Show, everyone/everyone)

I Initially Forgot To Include A Title, Which Is At Least Appropriate For The Fandom.

There's Too Many Badgers In Here.

Fanfiction: Sleep Well (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

Much Like The Cornley Drama Society, I Should Probably Just Stop.

Fanfiction: Middle Ground (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris)

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