I Always Told You To Go To Hell.

keltena has made me aware of the Umineko Gold project to create an English audiobook of Umineko, and I desperately need this to happen for two reasons.

Reason one (the practical one): a lot of people aren't into visual novels, so it'd be really cool to have Umineko available in a more accessible format.

Reason two (the horrible one): they've released a trailer for the audiobook, which contains Battler's breakdown at the first twilight of the first episode (running from around the nine-minute mark to 14min 30sec - the link should lead to the right point), and holy crap, his voice acting is perfect. I was a little unsure earlier in the extract, when I first heard his regular speaking voice, but I was sold the second things got fucked up. I'm very fond of Battler, which of course means my favourite parts of Umineko are the parts where he's completely psychologically collapsing. It's possible that I'm Beatrice. Jessica is great as well. (Warning: they're reacting to the aftermath of horrific murders - said aftermath is not actually displayed on the screen but is described in some detail.)

I'm just really excited to hear more of Battler sobbing and hyperventilating. Please let this happen.


I thought I might as well check out the demo for Zanki Zero: Last Beginning, the latest from Spike Chunsoft. (The bizarrely long demo. It took me four hours to complete. I was half-wondering whether they'd accidentally put the whole game in there.)

Pros:
- concept seems interesting
- apparently you can make the characters bang in any combination in optional side scenes, i.e. exactly what I want from every videogame
- the characters say 'ow' whenever I accidentally walk them into walls, which I do constantly, and it's pretty funny
- pleasingly guilt-ridden cast
- the line 'I can't breathe with all the blood in my throat'

Cons:
- I hate the gameplay! There is not a single aspect of the gameplay that appeals to me. I don't want to worry about every character's hunger and thirst and age and stamina and bladder capacity; those are concerns for real life!

This is a real problem with videogames. It's possible for a game to have a story and characters you're interested in, and yet be completely unbearable to play. I suppose the equivalent for a book would be 'I like this concept, but I can't stand the writing style.' Maybe I'll check out a Let's Play, but I really don't think I can play this myself.