'I'm A Bus And I Hate God.'

[rionaleonhart]

Someone sent me a virtual gift! With a lovely message! And it's one of the gifts that contributes to the Haiti relief effort! This person has therefore managed to be incredibly lovely in multiple ways simultaneously, all whilst being anonymous. Whoever you are, masked donator and day-maker: ♥


In (and indeed on) other news, I just watched the first episode of Charlie Brooker's Newswipe, on mythtaken's recommendation, and... oh, dear. I suppose it was inevitable, really. Charlie Brooker is intelligent, sarcastic and eighteen years older than me; he is, in short, exactly my type. What really worries me is the fact that I only realised I was attracted to him when he said, 'Oh, yeah, these condoms I've been using have really aggravated my AIDS.'

(I find it's generally best never to examine why I find people attractive. Derren Brown is a terrifying sadomasochist. David Mitchell is exactly like me. Whenever I fall for a public figure, it invariably leads to my learning something about myself I didn't really want to know.)

If you have half an hour to spare, the episode (parts one, two, three) takes apart news reporting in a genuinely fascinating way. If you only have three minutes, this clip from the end of the episode, on the way in which mass murders are reported and how that can actually propagate such tragedies, is stunning.


Of course, although the previous clip is incredibly important and interesting, it's not a very positive note on which to end the entry, so have an adorable video of a cat grooming a fennec fox to improve your day.


(Final final note: if Charlie Brooker were a Pokémon trainer, I believe he would specialise in Rock and Ground types. I'm having trouble finding a suitable Pokémon for David Mitchell, though. Thoughts? Perhaps he never quite got around to raising a Pokémon; he sort of regrets it, but he's reluctant to acquire one now because he isn't sure he can trust himself with the responsibility. Then he meets Brooker, who is a Gym Leader. Ridiculous love story in the Pokémon world proceeds to unfold.)

Comments

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

You have the weirdest taste in men.

[rionaleonhart]

I wish I could deny it. (SURELY SOMEONE MUST HAVE WEIRDER TASTE THAN ME. I value intelligence, eloquence and wit! Surely that's not that unusual?)

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you have the weirdest taste in men of anyone, but you have the weirdest I've ever seen.

Although on the upside, I've seen plenty of people with worse taste. At least you're not fantasizing about hooking up with sparkly stalkers or anything like that.

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell are both very high on my list of eligible men! And I have many friends who'd back me up on this. Clearly your taste is awesome.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

Both Charlie Brooker and David MItchell have armies of fans who would fight each other to the death to marry them.

[littlemoose.livejournal.com]

I can vouch for that. I fall into both camps, so I will shortly be investing in body armour ;)

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't be surprised if there was quite a lot of overlap, actually.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

You say this like it's a bad thing.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

only in the sense that I have competition.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

But neither of them are gay! :P

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

So what. 'Gay' isn't an absolute must-have part of my List. Intelligent and Slightly Wrong both are. So I win.

:D

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

*eyes you suspiciously* Well... Alright then.

But I bet they wear their scarves the wrong way.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

No one's ever going to let that go, are they.

Brooker might, but David Mitchell would rather DIE than wear his scarf like that.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

It's why you love us.

That and the relative appearance of normality you gain by having weirdo friends.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

I think I might be a bit in love with Charlie Brooker. I don't like to think why, either. I find it slightly relieving that someone hates the world more than I do, mainly.

Also, agreed on Brooker being a rock/ground trainer. It's the perma-scowl. David Mitchell would have a normal type which would disobey him constantly and wreak havoc and make his life a misery.

You have no idea how much I want you to write that fic.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

Oh and I really honestly think there needs to be a support group for people with weird crushes on Charlie Brooker. I FELT SO ALONE

[rionaleonhart]

From the comments so far, it looks as if the Charlie Brooker Fanciers support group may have at least a few members! (I almost called him 'Charlie Mitchell' there. Whoops.)

You're right: whatever Pokémon David Mitchell has, he's not going to get on with it.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

'Brooker Fanciers Anonymous' has quite a ring to it.

[subtle-rift.livejournal.com]

After reading that Ernst Rohn had five, on a regrettable impulse, Mark went out and BOUGHT a hitmonlee. It being an outsider, and Mark having no badges (he wrote to Brock asking if he could perhaps exchange one for Wheetabix tokens, but never heard back), it of course never obeys him. He keeps it hidden under the ben out of fear that Jezz will chalenge him to a match with his Gyarados. What he doesn't know is that it's a L6 Gyarados that only knows 'splash' after Jezz's Magikarp inadvertently ate some pills that'd been stashed in his bottom draw.

[rionaleonhart]

'On a regrettable impulse' can describe more or less everything Mark has ever done, can't it?

Also, this scenario is amazing and makes me very much want to read a Peep Show/Pokémon crossover. Jeremy's level six Gyarados in particular is perfect.

[subtle-rift.livejournal.com]

Well, there are also things from the far side of well-thought-out; plans that have been over thought untill they become gross parodies of themselves. Then there are things that never seemed like a good idea, but were done to avoid social ostrasisation or because they were an invoulentry biological reaction.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

You need to watch marina hyde interviewing Charlie. It's on the Guardian's website. It's just AMAZING. He is AMAZING.


Have you seen the newswipe about Jade Goody yet? Genuinely fascinating.

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, that is a wonderful interview! He is... strangely adorable, actually.

I have not yet seen the Jade Goody Newswipe; I've only seen the first episodes of both series, but I'm planning to watch the rest.

[zeitheist.livejournal.com]

I... I may or may not also have a crush on Charlie Brooker. Which is utterly ridiculous, because the man has a face like a haunted house.

That sequence in Newswipe where that guy was explaining how mass murders are reported was chilling. Nothing I didn't already know, but still genuinely unpleasant.

[rionaleonhart]

'Like a haunted house' is the best description of Charlie Brooker's face I have ever seen. Granted, it may be the only description of Charlie Brooker's face I have ever seen, but I can't imagine the world holds a better.

And it really was a horrifying sequence. The irresponsibility of that sort of reporting hadn't really occurred to me before.

[zeitheist.livejournal.com]

I think Charlie Brooker has variously described his own face as resembling "a wet loaf of bread" and "like a rucksack full of dented bells". I probably stole the "haunted house" description from him, but I can't remember, so I'm claiming that one as my own.

He is incredibly odd-looking. One might also say unattractive, except for moments where he looks sort of... cute? I DON'T KNOW. I have never found him more adorable than in that clip from 8 Out of 10 Cats you linked me to where he's talking about lying to his girlfriend, so what does that say about me?! (Possibly that I should stop clicking on the links that you provide, as your taste in men is clearly contagious?)

I knew the news is heavily biased, and I had rudimentary understanding that they only reported things which fit a current story arc, but I had no idea that... take terrorism, for example, that they only report things which fit the post-9/11 "terrorist stereotype".

[clo.livejournal.com]

I haven't let myself look too closely at Charlie Brooker yet because he seems distractingly awesome and I feel I don't need any more distractions in my life right now. His book Dawn of the Dumb is on my to-read list though, so that probably won't last long.

There are no words for how much that cat video made my day. I was enjoying it and then I realised the meows were part of the music. And the resigned look of she's at it again oh god on the fox's face. <3<3<3<3

[rionaleonhart]

He is indeed pretty awesome! I really don't need any more distractions, given all the dissertation-writing I'm supposed to be doing, but, er, apparently it's too late to avoid him now.

The cat-and-fox video makes me smile like a complete idiot. Why don't I have a pet fennec fox?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

That fennec looked so adorably disgruntled! 'I shall ALLOW you to lick my ears, but I am out of here at the first opportunie moment... *flees*'

Another, rather serious, reason to love Charlie Brooker (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/16/stephen-gately-jan-moir).

David should have a Magikarp. He'd be all right with it until it becomes a Gyarados, and then he becomes genuinely scared of it.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

And not only did he write that, when people on twitter posted Jan Moir's home address and suggested everyone send her hatemail, he made several tweets himself to say how totally not cool that was and how people should stop that right now. Very cool guy.

[rionaleonhart]

That article is wonderful. I read it when it first came out, but at the time I didn't know anything about Brooker, so he was just a man who had written a brilliant article to me. Now I know him as a man who has written many other brilliant things.

I love the idea of Mitchell with a Magikarp. He'd certainly feel most comfortable with the most useless Pokémon available.

[shark-hat.livejournal.com]

I deny that it is inappropriate to find Charlie Brooker hot! Or if it is, I don't wanna be appropriate. Tall, dark and grumpy... mmm. (Clever and funny help too.)

[rionaleonhart]

From the look of these comments, inappropriate or not, you and I are not alone in our tastes!

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

intelligent, sarcastic and eighteen years older than me; he is, in short, exactly my type.

WHY HELLO, SELF. seriously, riona, get out of my head fjkghefdgjhd.

[rionaleonhart]

I like it in your head. It's comfy and there are sky pirates.

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

...Well, when you put it like that, I guess you can stay.

Speaking of slightly weird crushes, I had forgotten my mad love for Nathan Fillion. And Adam Baldwin. (And, to be honest, Alan Tudyk and Ron Glass. Basically, all the male cast of Firefly.) This in itself is not weird, because Adam Baldwin is fairly good looking and not actually that old (I think?) but. He is rather younger than the majority of my weird crushes, and is also quite... buff. IDK, I normally go for the scrawny ones.

the easing of... quantative...ness

[mythtaken.livejournal.com]

I completely approve of your taste in public figures! I don't know much of Derren Brown, but what I do know is that his Stewie Griffin impression (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1Cc6Bof2_0) is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

What really worries me is the fact that I only realised I was attracted to him when he said, 'Oh, yeah, these condoms I've been using have really aggravated my AIDS.'
Hee! See, there is that (and this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESQy3twMGKY#t=4m56s)), and then there is his amazingly lovely Oliver Postgate tribute (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KIoOopWquI) (which makes me CRY) and how can you not crush on a man who is capable of both?

I will stop linking things at you now.

Re: the easing of... quantative...ness

[rionaleonhart]

THAT FIRST BROOKER LINK.

WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?

(The YouTube comments are possibly my favourite part. 'Be grateful you got to see Charlie fuck a loaf of bread.' 'I hope he didn't get a yeast infection.')

On the other end of the spectrum: oh, that tribute really is lovely. (Why don't I have an icon that can simultaneously convey 'horrified amusement' and 'fond sadness'?)

Re: the easing of... quantative...ness

[mythtaken.livejournal.com]

I considered warning for that link but I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I think it is a testament to his awesomeness that even YouTube comments about him are witty.

Re: the easing of... quantative...ness

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Charlie Brooker/bread is canon? If there's ever someone made for Riona's fannish tastes, it's him. (Er, strange pairings with inanimate objects, not man/bread specifically. That I know of.)

Re: the easing of... quantative...ness

[rionaleonhart]

EVEN BETTER: Charlie Brooker/himself is canon.

Do I want fic? I think I might.

Re: the easing of... quantative...ness

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Okay, was he invented to cater to your tastes?

[make-a-move.livejournal.com]

I was reading Charlie Brooker's Dawn of the Dumb this afternoon (for about the hundredth time), and came to the conclusion that he is pretty much my perfect man.

[rionaleonhart]

I find it very reassuring that, even if my taste in men is ridiculous by the rest of the world's standards, quite a few people on my flist appear to share it. Obviously the people on my flist are the people who really matter.

Perhaps I should seek Dawn of the Dumb out.

[make-a-move.livejournal.com]

We are awesome, that's why.

You should! There are two other books - Screen Burn, and The Hell Of It All. They're collections of his newspaper columns, and are utterly brilliant.

[nixwilliams.livejournal.com]

i'm sure i had something intelligent to say. but then there was a fennec fox! WITH ITS HUGE EARS! being cleaned by a cat! AND DOING THAT RUN-AROUND-IN-A-CIRCLE THING! EEEEE!!!

[rionaleonhart]

It is such a delightful video! Clearly everyone should own a fennec fox.