The World's Most Rectally Troublesome Buildings.

[rionaleonhart]

Glancing through my notebook, and apparently I recently dreamt that Charlie Brooker knocked me out and stole my trousers. I don't remember this at all.

Also dreamt that he made me hand over four thousand pounds' worth of my property, then amused himself by forcing me to kneel in front of a shelf in a toy shop, staring at a tin of Lego that said abusive things about me on the packaging. Charlie Brooker, you are such a dick in my dreams.

(Here, incidentally, is a clip of Brooker getting VERY, VERY ANGRY about the Over the Rainbow trail ruining the ending of last week's Doctor Who episode ('The Time of Angels'). I enjoy it when he shouts.)


Random Facts About Riona's Family, as I've just remembered this: my mother was somehow taught the wrong History curriculum when she was at school. They'd spent the entire year learning about the First World War, and the exam was on the Second. The entire class failed, of course. One of her friends wrote nothing on her paper but 'Garibaldi was a biscuit and I want to go home'.

Whilst I'm at it: my mother and a friend of hers once stole some plums from a neighbour's garden, found they were nasty and, outraged, squashed them and posted them through the letterbox. My brothers and I evidently inherited her plum-related audacity, as we used to steal plums from the tree next door using a fishing net poked through the upstairs window. Oh, dear.


Work update: 18,000 words written. 4,000 to write. Two weeks to go. The plan is to get first drafts of everything finished this week and then spend the final week rearranging things and finding secondary sources. I have been absolutely losing my mind lately (cooped up indoors, bingeing on chocolate, bursting into hysterical hyperventilating tears in front of my long-suffering housemate), but it should be possible. I have reached a stage at which it sounds possible. I'm just so exhausted and fretting at the moment.

The Charlie Brooker fandom is what's been keeping me from completely breaking down, and I am so, so grateful. I love the fic and the people and the ridiculous ideas and the enthusiasm and the recordings. I love Brooker himself, and Mitchell, and the way they interact (the second Brooker episode of The Unbelievable Truth should be on Radio Four at 6.30 this afternoon, incidentally). I love it when entries about this fandom show up on my flist. It makes me happy, and that's what I need when university is pressing down on me. Thanks for supporting me in my time of academic terror, guys. ♥

Comments

[inappropriately.livejournal.com]

I want your dreams. I haven't had a Brooker-related dream yet (that I can remember), which I find really unfair. How do you do it? How?

*jump-hugs you and cheers you on as always* ♥

[rionaleonhart]

But he's such a git in my dreams!

Although I did also dream recently that he was my university tutor. I somehow ended up on the floor of the seminar room, hugging his legs. THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE SEMINAR CONDUCT, RIONA.

Also, I dreamt that David Mitchell tried to hit on me by waggling his eyebrows and using the irresistible chat-up line 'I've got stairs'. HE LIVES IN A FLAT. IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRUE.

And in another dream Brooker definitely insinuated that he wanted a blowjob from Mitchell, to which Mitchell responded, 'I am absolutely convinced that no-one wants to see that.' Oh, Mitchell, how little you know.

Yes, all right, I have some pretty awesome dreams.

And thank you for the cheering!

[inappropriately.livejournal.com]

But being a git is precisely what one would want from Brooker!

(Your dreams are sort of absorbing the anonymeme. Wow.)

I've got stairs.

I vaguely remember from lazy stalking when I watched Who Do You Think You Are? that he has stairs outside his front door. Er. I'm not sure that actually counts as having stairs, never mind being a good excuse to use that as a chat-up line. Would you screw him on possibly non-existent stairs, Riona? Is that appealing to you?

[rionaleonhart]

But being a git is precisely what one would want from Brooker!

...that's actually an excellent point.

I've never found stairs especially erotic, but evidently Mitchell seemed to think I might.

[smiley-nat.livejournal.com]

He has stairs inside, too, I assume, because his housemate mentions their understair cupboard on his blog. No, I am not a creepy stalker, okay?

[rionaleonhart]

Thank you for clearing that up! My subconscious knows more about David Mitchell than I do, it seems. That's... mildly unsettling.

[smiley-nat.livejournal.com]

What unsettles me is that I somehow discovered Robert Hudson's blog ages ago and never knew that he was David's flatmate until someone mentioned it on the anon meme. I was like... No! I am not so stupid that the David Robert Hudson writes about is David Mitchell. So then I went to find David's Who Do You Think You Are? and sure enough...

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Also, I dreamt that David Mitchell tried to hit on me by waggling his eyebrows and using the irresistible chat-up line 'I've got stairs'. HE LIVES IN A FLAT. IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRUE.

For reasons I am not entirely clear on, I misread that as David TENNANT, and it confused me and took me several minutes to realize my error.

[rionaleonhart]

I did once dream that David Tennant groped me. It seemed rather wasted on me, as I'm not attracted to him at all.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

See, that's why I was confused, because I was all "but she's not attracted to him, why would she be dreaming about him?"

Why staying up till 5:3o in the morning when you've got a 9:3o class is a bad idea: a play in four acts. -__-;;

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

If you have an alarm clock that can use mp3s, make some of him saying stuff to wake you up. I do this sometimes with various voices and noises. I can't decide if it's creepy or not...

[inappropriately.livejournal.com]

My mobile phone message alert is David Mitchell saying, "That's very patronising" at the moment. I may or may not use Charlie Brooker going, "Ooooooer" as my phone alarm clock in the future.

[rionaleonhart]

That is an excellent dream! And, given that Charlie Brooker is so very like you, narcissistic in so many different ways.

My criminal career has been a fairly unimpressive one.

[misskass.livejournal.com]

I am now in love with Charlie Brooker and that's all I've seen of him. That's all I need to see. His absolute outrage is one of the best things ever. xD

Oh also, on stealing plums: my friends and I were once on a band camp, then they proceeded to steal a bunch of plums and throw them at me. I'm not sure why I continued to be their friend. ;__; Especially considering they then went on to steal more, put them in the freezer in the cabin, and throw more goddamn plums at me, only these ones were much harder and therefore more painful. I was only twelve, what the hell.

[rionaleonhart]

Join ussss. Here is another rather wonderful clip of Brooker, if you'd like to see any more of him (the premise of the game, if you haven't seen any Would I Lie To You? before, is that one panellist reads out a fact about themselves and the others have to work out whether it's true or not).

My goodness! My friends at secondary school used to strangle me every day for no particular reason, though, so I'm not unfamiliar with slightly hazardous friendships. (We're still very good friends, but throttling is no longer involved, fortunately.)

[misskass.livejournal.com]

Gosh, his hysterical shouting is sending me into a hysterical gigglefit. He's pretty amazing, I can now understand why you seem to base every one of your recent journal entries on him. xD

That's... that's odd, that is. Really for no particular reason? o__o

[rionaleonhart]

My friends putting their hands around my throat just became a sort of greeting, I think. I don't know why. It was odd. There was one alarming moment when a friend was strangling me for too long and I tried to stop her and found that, in my oxygen-deprived state, I had forgotten how to access my muscles and couldn't move or speak.

Feel free not to watch these if you're not interested - this is just in case you're curious; I don't want to impose - but here are a couple of rather fascinating Brooker clips from Screenwipe: on the amount of work that goes into producing television and on manipulative reality TV editing.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

My friends putting their hands around my throat just became a sort of greeting, I think. I don't know why. It was odd. There was one alarming moment when a friend was strangling me for too long and I tried to stop her and found that, in my oxygen-deprived state, I had forgotten how to access my muscles and couldn't move or speak.

You are a wonderfully strange person.

[hikari-datenshi.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD I was only saying last night that the cardboard-licking party fill was like, one of my favourites, if not my favourite fill on the entire thing! Why is it so good, whyyyyy XDD (I snorted in public rather too much during that Newswipe coverage one, too, it was quite embarrassing!)

OMG I DIDN'T REALISE THERE WAS A SECOND UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH EPISODE! EXCITEMENT!!!

Eeee good luck with your work~ that is VERY good progress you've got thar. <3

[rionaleonhart]

I have no idea why the cardboard-licking party fill works so well, but it is amazing. Poor boys!

Enjoy the Unbelievable Truth episode! I hope they keep in all the bickering between Mitchell and Brooker from the recording; there was a great deal of it.

Thank you!

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

I am going to make sure I can take some notes at YHBW in an attempt to pay you back for your awesome reports ♥

[rionaleonhart]

Fantastic! I'm looking forward to reading about it; thank you! Don't feel you have to take notes at the recording itself if you'd rather devote your full attention to what's going on, though; I'd be happy with any recollections afterwards.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

You can do it, Riona! You CAN finish all those words! BEAT THEM INTO SUBMISSION. Or coax them gently, whatever works.

[rionaleonhart]

Thank you very much for the support! I hope I'll be able to make the words cooperate eventually.

Things I am learning from this: I have a massive aversion to rereading my own academic work, which is a bit of a problem when I'm trying to marshal things into some sort of order. Oh, dear.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

That is annoying, it's a bit like recording yourself on film or audio and then listening back. Of course, if you have a friend who knows something about what you're writing about, you could have them look it over? It's always harder picking out your own mistakes.

[missnoface.livejournal.com]

There is something oddly satisfying watching Charlie Brooker screaming his face off. Where did he come from? Why is he so popular these days? I swear I didn't hear of his existence until BFQOTY.

And good luck with your work!

[rionaleonhart]

He does seem to be becoming more visible, doesn't he? (I hadn't heard of him before the Big Fat Quiz either.) The sensible part of me suspects it's because he now has a programme on terrestrial television; the demented part is saying 'OR PERHAPS IT IS BECAUSE HE WANTS DAVID MITCHELL TO NOTICE HIM'.

Thank you for the good wishes!

[suthnoli.livejournal.com]

He had his column for a loooong time before he started doing panel show stuff, so I think he's just... escaped the Guardian, since Big Fat Quiz? I don't know, I just turned around one day and SUDDENLY, A FANDOM.

I used to clip his columns out of the copy of the paper my school bought every morning. Because I'm ~hardcore~ like that.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I think Riona has powers over these things. After she got into him, I was flipping channels in Vanuatu, stopped on Al-Jazeera, and Charlie Brooker was there!

Same thing happened when she got into Derren Brown. I was flipping through the airline entertainment magazine on a flight to New Zealand, and Derren Brown was staring at me from the next seat off the page!

Although that still doesn't explain the Auckland airport being taken over by giant electronic Richard Hammonds. I think Riona had lost most of her fannishness about Top Gear by then.

[dancesontrains.livejournal.com]

YOU CAN DOOOOO IT THERE'S JUST A LITTLE BIT LEFT *\o/* *\o/* *\o/*

Now I am thinking of what sort of post you would like to read. Hmm.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

taught the wrong History curriculum when she was at school.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I just got a full set of Peep Show on DVD! It arrived today!

I thought you'd like to know.

ETA: "Jeremy could you suck this for me? Jesus, where did that come from?"

Mark's subconscious wants blow-jobs from Jeremy!

AND ANOTHER THING: Mark is totally repressing bisexuality. And also just a little bit racist.

HELP ME I CAN'T SHUT UP: Is it just me, or did Johnson's "You really are a bitter loser, aren't you?" come off all "I stole your Mark!" in a slightly weird way? Like if Jeremy hadn't brought love into it, it might have led to sex?

Is Peep Show just melting my brain?

[rionaleonhart]

Please don't worry about being unable to shut up! People don't talk enough about Peep Show.

Mark is repressed in so many ways. It's ridiculous. Mark, Jeremy would probably give you a blowjob even if you didn't have power over him in the workplace; all you have to do is ask.

And Johnson's smugness does read as 'I stole your Mark!' to me. Peep Show may well be melting your brain, but you're seeing nothing but what's there.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Although considering Mark's complete inability to ask in a reasonable fashion (drawing a cute little cartoon with a love heart and a swastika), and Jeremy's amazing ability to ruin Mark's life, I'm fairly sure Mark asking Jeremy for a blowjob would end up causing some horrifying sexual fate to befall him.

I'm going to conclude that Johnson wanted Mark as a business protege/fuckbuddy, but was put off by the whole love thing. And that if Mark went off to Cardiff, he'd be having confused and neurotic wibbles about sexually servicing Johnson. And then there'd be the pterodactyl from Torchwood.

[rionaleonhart]

Mark would end up accidentally getting recruited for Torchwood, wouldn't he? That would be just his luck.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Mark would end up suffering alien impregnation. Also, he'd go to bed with Jack and have an even bigger sexual identity crisis, because it's not just one man now, it's two! What if it's lots of men? What if he suddenly wants to sleep with Jeremy?

And does the alien count as a man? It wasn't particularly man-shaped, but it did have penetrative bits.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Okay, I may have out-weirded Peep Show here, but here's an idea.

Mark goes off to Cardiff with Johnson. Everything seems great. The job's great, Johnson actually wants to have sex with him, he gets a nice flat with no roommate, everyone goes "Bloody Torchwood" instead of "You're insane" when he sees a pterodactyl flying around at night, and it's all just a little too good to be true. At least for Mark Corrigan. The only thing that's really wrong is that despite his best efforts at hitting the gym, he's putting on a bit of a belly.

After settling in, he tries to contact Jeremy and invite him for a weekend in Cardiff. Weirdly, he gets a message claiming Jeremy's moved away, and a cheque for all of the money Jeremy owes him. This drives him to try to go to London. But when he comes close to leaving town, the big secret is revealed.

Johnson is an alien, and Mark is having his egg!

This all leads to a rescue by Torchwood (who've been called by Jeremy - he was phoning every number in Cardiff with his "That bastard Johnson took my Mark!" and ended up getting through to Gwen), and a humiliatingly pregnant Mark meeting Jeremy who's all "See, I knew you shouldn't have run off with him!"

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Also, if you've seen Jeremy's music video in the DVD extras, it has a lot of simulated man-on-man kissing. Also, simulated man-on-man anal sex. And simulated tree sex.

And yes, I'm aware that Jeremy's only got the loosest claim to heterosexuality.