Chris Is Going To Give Birth To A Kitten, Apparently.

[rionaleonhart]

Had a picnic in Regent's Park yesterday with anewcitylife (Charlie), causethesounds (Chris), apiphile (Del), foxinmyhands, ruthi, ukcalico, ihavecake and strangefrontier! It was delightful and also highly inappropriate.



Out-of-Context Theatre:

(Chris is biting Del's fist.)
Charlie: Don't taunt her, Chris! You're fifteen!
Del: It's all right. One day I'll punch her in the vag; it'll be amazing.

(Yes, all right, that had a bit of context. 'Out-of-Context Theatre' isn't actually terribly strict about the anecdotes it allows in.)


Charlie: I want fic in which David Mitchell has to logically work out that he should get naked right the fuck now.


Riona: Was I looking the other way when sticking candles up bums became something everyone did?


Charlie: David Mitchell would make quite a good owl. ...I've drunk too much today.


(Chris and Charlie are lying adorably on each other; Riona is writing this fact down.)
Chris: You fucking voyeur, Riona. But, to be fair, I am flirting a lot.
Riona: That's no justification! You can't say 'oh, yes, I was watching, but to be fair to me you were having sex'.

(Seriously, Chris and Charlie were far too cute. We all ended up 'shipping them. Later, I was somehow absorbed into the cuddlepile and felt like the new character who turns up in the third series and is resented by the fandom for interfering with the OTP. If you ever actually got together, guys, I promise I wouldn't stand in your way! I would sit comfortably out of the way. In the corner. With my notebook.)


Del: I once had a sex dream about Hugh Laurie. And then my boyfriend tried to get into bed when I was half-asleep, and I kicked him out, and my rationale was 'you're not Hugh Laurie'.


(Chris is scratching Charlie's back.)
Charlie: Are you trying to undo my bra?
Chris: Not yet.


Charlie: Del for Prime Minister! She's less creepy than David Cameron!
Del: ...thanks.



We have decided that my autobiography is going to be titled On the Edge of the Gangbang, Looking Awkward. It will be a million-seller.

Comments

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I want fic in which David Mitchell has to logically work out that he should get naked right the fuck now.

Can it involve Robert Webb? I'm still charmed that he has actually declared me to be a normal person, and now I want him in more fic and things.

Plus, he's like a nudity-generation machine, so it could be logical to the premise of the fic. With him around, nakedness happens!

Was I looking the other way when sticking candles up bums became something everyone did?

Now I'm remembering picturing the big secret bum-candle party where everyone in the world was invited except for you.

David Mitchell would make quite a good owl. ...I've drunk too much today.

God, now I want to incorporate him into that deeply preposterous tg_crack fic series with the owl-beaver war. He could be the nervously ineffectual owl who's frightened of Simon Cowell!

We have decided that my autobiography is going to be titled On the Edge of the Gangbang, Looking Awkward.

I'd read it.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

Apparently I was so drunk that I can barely remember anything I said, so this was fairly enlightening. Thanks!

[rionaleonhart]

You didn't strike me as that drunk! Even though, in retrospect, you were frequently stating how drunk you were and worrying about walking straight. I really am a terrible judge of inebriation.

[rionaleonhart]

Robert Webb is always welcome in Mitchell-fic! (I'm surprised by how little I actually 'ship Mitchell/Webb, though. I read and enjoy fanfiction, but my personal canon, I realised recently, is 'everyone in the comedy world fancies David Mitchell apart from Robert Webb'.

Not that that precludes fancying from Mitchell's side, of course.)

Man, I never get to go to the bum-candle parties. (Can it really be called 'secret' if only one person in the world doesn't know about it?)

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I don't know. After that "My David" clip, I have a hard time not shipping them.

Although even without sex, I could see nudity happening. Possibly there's a long and surprisingly wild party and after many hours of "No thanks, I'm the designated driver" and being accidentally dragged into kitchen-duty, he decides it's time to find Robert Webb.

Who is in a smoke-filled room upstairs, involved in the world's longest game of strip poker (they added a special "If you win the hand, you can put on the clothing everyone else has shed" rule, just to prolong things - currently, Robert Webb is wearing seven bras). And they're not letting people who aren't playing into the game, and David Mitchell realizes that if he's going to get any sleep that night, they have to leave straight away, so he needs a way to get into the room and not be pulled into the game.

The answer? Nudity. If he's already naked, he can't be expected to play strip poker.

It's secret if you're actively concealing it from that one person. Which I think I may have just ruined. Oh dear.

[derryderrydown.livejournal.com]

You are all making me want to move to London, DAMMIT!

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

MOVE TO LONDON

[lo0o0ony-lauren.livejournal.com]

On the Edge of the Gangbang, Looking Awkward
Can't even describe how funny I found this. Glad you all had a lovely time! x

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

ARE YOU GOING TO COME TO THE uk_lolitics MEETUP

[rionaleonhart]

Ooh, I was not aware that there was going to be a meetup! That sounds fun! I'll come if I can make it.

EDIT: Although, bloody hell, the poll seems to indicate scores of fans may be there. That's a bit terrifying.

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

The date hasn't been confirmed yet, but when it happens, it'll be FANTASTIC

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

Also, at a conservative estimate, at least a third of the fans are not going to be able to come.


COME ON, IT'LL BE FUN, I WANT TO MEET YOUUUUUU

[marginaliana]

<3s all of you weirdos. :D

[rionaleonhart]

Joooooin us.

[rionaleonhart]

It is just one of the many ways in which I am like Mark Corrigan. Thank you!

[prologi.livejournal.com]

You are all hilarious and I'm jealous. :P

Also, I would read the shit out of a book called On the Edge of the Gangbang, Looking Awkward.

[rionaleonhart]

♥! It's a shame there's this stupid ocean thing in the way of your joining us.

[ukcalico.livejournal.com]

On the Edge of the Gangbang, Looking Awkward. YES.

Lovely to meet you! Next time I will be less disheveled (probably). *g*

[rionaleonhart]

Clearly I must write this book! I fear it would be difficult to manage anything worthy of the title, but it sounds as if people would buy it no matter what it contained.

[rionaleonhart]

Lovely to meet you as well; thank you for coming along! (And thanks for your patience in waiting for me to finish my train of thought whilst being distractingly cuddlepiled.)

[ukcalico.livejournal.com]

Distraction in the face of all that cuddlepiling = inevitable and appropriate response. ;)

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

and my rationale was 'you're not Hugh Laurie'.

...This is possibly the best thing I have ever read, my god.

I also lol'd faaaaaaaar too much at "one day I'll punch her in the vag." Because I am a freak.

basically: I WISH I WASN'T SO AFRAID OF PUBLIC TRANSPORT. I WOULD TOTALLY LOVE TO HAVE AN LJ PICNIC.

[chocolatepeach.livejournal.com]

YOU RECORDED CHOICE QUOTES A LA PANEL SHOW WRITE-UP. I like you.

Chris texted me last night and I was all 'boo, I am stuck inside and far away'! Next time this happens I am so going to somehow be there; sounds like you guys had fun :)

[inappropriately.livejournal.com]

Oh dear god, we sound like such mentals.

... Why am I surprised?

[vampirespider.livejournal.com]

Well, this is all ridiculously adorable.

Also, I feel that this whole post proves what we were talking about the other week: everything is a fandom. Trufax.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

Was I looking the other way when sticking candles up bums became something everyone did?
*blink blink*

Are they lit?

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

No, they weren't lit.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

Well, these things need to be asked. I'm assuming they were table candles, rather than any weird novelty glitter covered thing or a tealight.

Are there any other circumstances or context that might help, or is it just the usual bum = USB port of the human body type thing?

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

It was basically something a boy I knew used to do/still possibly does in lieu of using a dildo. Also, apparently the ridged ones are really *cough* effective.

[rionaleonhart]

I am relieved to glean from this comment that not everyone else has attempted a candle-colon introduction.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

I haven't attempted it, I was just witness!

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

I was going to let it go -- I mean, okay, you've bought a box of candles because you want candles to light at some point in the future but no dildo because, well, because you haven't -- but now I'm wondering did he use the candle as a candle once he was through?

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

I think he actually stole them from his parents. And no, I don't think he did, although I know he occasionally lit it beforehand and dripped the wax onto himself, but obviously it wasn't lit when he stuck it up his bum.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

It was just the wonder of if, afterwards, he was there trying to do something like a candlelit dinner to impress a lady or whatever, and maybe had no 'unused' candles left and figured that, well, it made no odds...

Right. This is probably enough information to get my brain to shush and stop picturing things.

Though maybe not.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

That would have been hilarious, but I'm fairly sure he just disposed of them afterwards.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

That, of course, brings up a whole new set of questions.

[rionaleonhart]

It would be lovely to have an LJ picnic with you! SOME DAY.

[rionaleonhart]

And I didn't even include the 'I'm a vagetarian' line.

[rionaleonhart]

I'm glad you enjoy my obsessive need to record everything! My companions regarded me with intense suspicion whenever I took out my notebook.

It's a shame you couldn't be there. Maybe some other comedy picnic?

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

I'm still charmed that he has actually declared me to be a normal person, and now I want him in more fic and things.

Was this something he said about you specifically, or in a statement he made about "people in X category are perfectly normal"?

[ruthi.livejournal.com]

I have just noticed in my post I had failed to ask you for permission to make photos with you in them publicly accessible. I have edited the post to add your name as though I had not forgotten, because I am sneaky like a pink pachiderm on parade.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Er, more the latter. It was the "How to cope with normality" bit in That Mitchell and Webb Book. But it was very "You, yes you, are normal", so it still counts.

Plus, whenever I picture a child's drawing of a house, the smoke curls upwards and doesn't crash to the ground in chunks like blue ice, and I worry about things less often than David Mitchell does, so I qualify.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

I blatantly stole that from somewhere anyway.

[For added lulz, on Monday Shay & I went to Brighton with SOME MORE tiny lesbians. I have had the gayest weekend ever]