Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-04-18 09:22 am
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-04-18 09:22 am
Who Gets A Tattoo Of A Mop?
A while ago, someone – I think it was ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kadrin – coined the phrase ‘I love you, and you can tell because I insult you a lot and refuse to speak to you’. This, I think, sums up the JD/Cox relationship rather well.
There’s no real point to my saying that. I just wanted more people to see that phrase, because look! ‘I love you, and you can tell because I insult you a lot and refuse to speak to you’! It’s fantastic!
JD, Pyramid Head, Elliot Reid and Phineas Nigellus are working on a school project together. What are they working on, how much research do they put into it, who gets stuck doing all the work and who slacks off, and what grade do they get?
They are doing an investigation into the running of hospitals and how they respond to disasters such as, for example, bloodstained creatures hellbent on destruction suddenly appearing. Elliot is the only one who actually does any work, apart from possibly JD. Elliot probably puts a lot more effort into it than he does, though.
Phineas is a headmaster, he isn’t going to stoop to doing some silly school project, although sometimes his caustic remarks about Elliot’s research methods are sekritly really helpful. He isn’t nice about it, but he does make sure that the students actually learn.
Pyramid Head does not work. He is off stalking Dr. Cox, who, he has decided, needs to address some guilt issues, particularly regarding A Certain Event In Series Three (and I’ve noticed that I use ‘series’ where most people seem to use ‘season’. Is this a mistake on my part, or is it something to do with English-American differences?). Elliot’s not all that happy about his slacking, but she’s certainly not going to be the one to bring it up.
In the end, they get a pretty good mark, considering. However, this may have something to do with the fact that Pyramid Head was looking awfully intimidating when they handed the project in.
Sherlock Holmes, Zell Dincht, and Dr. Cox are at a restaurant. Who's eating (and therefore the "couple", romantic or not), and who's the waiter? What drinks are ordered and what food is ordered? Does the waiter make a mistake, or get harassed? Is dessert ordered? Does anybody go to the bathroom and climb out the window to escape? How much does the waiter get tipped, and how is the meal paid for?
Zell and Cox are eating together. Zell kind of reminds Cox of JD, although he’ll never admit to himself that that’s why he’s here with him. Cox spends the evening being very, very sarcastic at Zell and calling him either ‘Tattoo Kid’ or ‘Chickenhair’ depending on his mood. Possibly he ends up referring to him by whatever bird-species leaps to mind. ‘Budgie’ would probably be a favourite. Zell is reminded of Seifer and so becomes increasingly annoyed. He does eventually try to climb out of the window, but Cox catches him in the act of sneaking off, whistles him back and threatens him with disembowelment if he doesn’t stay and pay for what he had.
Dr. Cox orders steak and something extremely alcoholic and raises an eyebrow when Zell goes for a burger from the kiddies’ menu. Zell drinks Coke.
Sherlock Holmes is disguised as a waiter while investigating the mysterious deaths of a number of restaurant workers. He waits flawlessly, but Cox still finds a way of making fun of him.
They pay with cash, but the waiter doesn’t get a tip. Zell realises that he forgot to leave one halfway down the street and panics. He is torn between going back to give him something and not letting Dr. Cox know that he screwed up. Eventually he sneaks back, but by then Holmes has solved the case and vanished.
Pyramid Head, Elliot Reid, Ben Sullivan, and Phineas Nigellus are suffering at the hands of some serious badfic authors and have been sent to Hogwarts. What kinds of crap are they forced to endure, what makes them finally snap, and what revenge do they inflict on the story/author when that happens? And finally, why can't that REALLY happen when characters are being mistreated, eh?
Elliot is kidnapped by Voldemort fairly early on in the fic. The author dislikes her and so exaggerates her more irritating qualities, and indeed makes her appear quite stupid, despite her clearly being a more-than-competent-doctor in the canon.
Ben, who probably ends up in Gryffindor, is highly amused by the whole thing. Dr. Cox, however, enraged by the fact that his friend has been ripped away from him and thrown into a stupid magic school, sets out to track down the author and force her to return Ben to him.
Phineas Nigellus is already from Hogwarts, of course, but the author takes the idea of him being a ‘good (or at least deeper than most of the others we’ve seen) Slytherin’ too far and make him a kindly-grandfather figure. The actual Phineas seethes and stalks from portrait to portrait until he manages to track down Dr. Cox. He manages to persuade Cox to take his portrait with him on his journey to find the author.
When Cox and Phineas eventually find the author, the combined power of their sarcastic speeches is enough to knock her out – or it would be, if Pyramid Head hadn’t got there first. Upon entering the room, they discover her barely conscious, with a fanfic by Pyramid Head about her going to Silent Hill scrawled on the wall in her own blood. Dr. Cox struggles briefly with his conscience, but then picks her up and carries her the conveniently short distance to Sacred Heart Hospital. As soon as her condition is stable, though, he and Phineas verbally rip into her.
Dr. Cox demands Ben back and adds, as an afterthought, that it might be an idea to let Barbie go as well. The poor author, terrified, types up Elliot’s escape from Voldemort and Dr. Cox’s showing up at Hogwarts to reclaim Ben pretty sharpish. Cox is in a much better mood with Ben back, and even stays behind in the author’s room to explain, slightly more gently, where she went wrong in her fanfic. The beautiful ‘Someone Learns A Lesson The Hard Way’ music from Scrubs that I wish I could find somewhere plays.
When Elliot finds the author, she initially protests, very high-pitched and at amazing speed, about her treatment in the fanfic, but when she realises how much trauma the author has been through she begins to feel rather sorry for her. Eventually she gives her a hug (albeit a very awkward hug, because Elliot doesn't like hugging people) and forgives her, but asks not to be included in any fanfiction she should write in the future.
For some time after her release from Sacred Heart, the author is far too nervous to try her hand at fanfiction again, but eventually she plucks up the courage to do so, and, with her lesson in the importance of characterisation and a little more practice, actually becomes a much better writer. Rather touched in retrospect by the relationship between Cox and Ben, she turns her hand tentatively to Cox/Ben fanfiction. Dr. Cox does not object this time.
She never writes anything about Pyramid Head ever again, though.
This can’t REALLY happen when characters are being mistreated because, to be perfectly honest, it’s excessive. I began to feel very sorry for our poor author myself while considering this answer: after all, she was probably only writing the fanfic for a bit of fun. I can’t think of anything someone could write to actually warrant Pyramid Head showing up and nearly killing them, but hey, that’s Pyramid Head for you. You don’t want to piss Pyramid Head off.
Well, at least the story had a happy ending. Good Cox/Ben fanfic makes anything worthwhile.
(Er, it also can’t happen because the characters, alas, are fictional. You may ignore the ‘alas’ in the case of Pyramid Head. I am perfectly fine with Pyramid Head being fictional, thank you very much.)
kadrin – coined the phrase ‘I love you, and you can tell because I insult you a lot and refuse to speak to you’. This, I think, sums up the JD/Cox relationship rather well.There’s no real point to my saying that. I just wanted more people to see that phrase, because look! ‘I love you, and you can tell because I insult you a lot and refuse to speak to you’! It’s fantastic!
JD, Pyramid Head, Elliot Reid and Phineas Nigellus are working on a school project together. What are they working on, how much research do they put into it, who gets stuck doing all the work and who slacks off, and what grade do they get?
They are doing an investigation into the running of hospitals and how they respond to disasters such as, for example, bloodstained creatures hellbent on destruction suddenly appearing. Elliot is the only one who actually does any work, apart from possibly JD. Elliot probably puts a lot more effort into it than he does, though.
Phineas is a headmaster, he isn’t going to stoop to doing some silly school project, although sometimes his caustic remarks about Elliot’s research methods are sekritly really helpful. He isn’t nice about it, but he does make sure that the students actually learn.
Pyramid Head does not work. He is off stalking Dr. Cox, who, he has decided, needs to address some guilt issues, particularly regarding A Certain Event In Series Three (and I’ve noticed that I use ‘series’ where most people seem to use ‘season’. Is this a mistake on my part, or is it something to do with English-American differences?). Elliot’s not all that happy about his slacking, but she’s certainly not going to be the one to bring it up.
In the end, they get a pretty good mark, considering. However, this may have something to do with the fact that Pyramid Head was looking awfully intimidating when they handed the project in.
Sherlock Holmes, Zell Dincht, and Dr. Cox are at a restaurant. Who's eating (and therefore the "couple", romantic or not), and who's the waiter? What drinks are ordered and what food is ordered? Does the waiter make a mistake, or get harassed? Is dessert ordered? Does anybody go to the bathroom and climb out the window to escape? How much does the waiter get tipped, and how is the meal paid for?
Zell and Cox are eating together. Zell kind of reminds Cox of JD, although he’ll never admit to himself that that’s why he’s here with him. Cox spends the evening being very, very sarcastic at Zell and calling him either ‘Tattoo Kid’ or ‘Chickenhair’ depending on his mood. Possibly he ends up referring to him by whatever bird-species leaps to mind. ‘Budgie’ would probably be a favourite. Zell is reminded of Seifer and so becomes increasingly annoyed. He does eventually try to climb out of the window, but Cox catches him in the act of sneaking off, whistles him back and threatens him with disembowelment if he doesn’t stay and pay for what he had.
Dr. Cox orders steak and something extremely alcoholic and raises an eyebrow when Zell goes for a burger from the kiddies’ menu. Zell drinks Coke.
Sherlock Holmes is disguised as a waiter while investigating the mysterious deaths of a number of restaurant workers. He waits flawlessly, but Cox still finds a way of making fun of him.
They pay with cash, but the waiter doesn’t get a tip. Zell realises that he forgot to leave one halfway down the street and panics. He is torn between going back to give him something and not letting Dr. Cox know that he screwed up. Eventually he sneaks back, but by then Holmes has solved the case and vanished.
Pyramid Head, Elliot Reid, Ben Sullivan, and Phineas Nigellus are suffering at the hands of some serious badfic authors and have been sent to Hogwarts. What kinds of crap are they forced to endure, what makes them finally snap, and what revenge do they inflict on the story/author when that happens? And finally, why can't that REALLY happen when characters are being mistreated, eh?
Elliot is kidnapped by Voldemort fairly early on in the fic. The author dislikes her and so exaggerates her more irritating qualities, and indeed makes her appear quite stupid, despite her clearly being a more-than-competent-doctor in the canon.
Ben, who probably ends up in Gryffindor, is highly amused by the whole thing. Dr. Cox, however, enraged by the fact that his friend has been ripped away from him and thrown into a stupid magic school, sets out to track down the author and force her to return Ben to him.
Phineas Nigellus is already from Hogwarts, of course, but the author takes the idea of him being a ‘good (or at least deeper than most of the others we’ve seen) Slytherin’ too far and make him a kindly-grandfather figure. The actual Phineas seethes and stalks from portrait to portrait until he manages to track down Dr. Cox. He manages to persuade Cox to take his portrait with him on his journey to find the author.
When Cox and Phineas eventually find the author, the combined power of their sarcastic speeches is enough to knock her out – or it would be, if Pyramid Head hadn’t got there first. Upon entering the room, they discover her barely conscious, with a fanfic by Pyramid Head about her going to Silent Hill scrawled on the wall in her own blood. Dr. Cox struggles briefly with his conscience, but then picks her up and carries her the conveniently short distance to Sacred Heart Hospital. As soon as her condition is stable, though, he and Phineas verbally rip into her.
Dr. Cox demands Ben back and adds, as an afterthought, that it might be an idea to let Barbie go as well. The poor author, terrified, types up Elliot’s escape from Voldemort and Dr. Cox’s showing up at Hogwarts to reclaim Ben pretty sharpish. Cox is in a much better mood with Ben back, and even stays behind in the author’s room to explain, slightly more gently, where she went wrong in her fanfic. The beautiful ‘Someone Learns A Lesson The Hard Way’ music from Scrubs that I wish I could find somewhere plays.
When Elliot finds the author, she initially protests, very high-pitched and at amazing speed, about her treatment in the fanfic, but when she realises how much trauma the author has been through she begins to feel rather sorry for her. Eventually she gives her a hug (albeit a very awkward hug, because Elliot doesn't like hugging people) and forgives her, but asks not to be included in any fanfiction she should write in the future.
For some time after her release from Sacred Heart, the author is far too nervous to try her hand at fanfiction again, but eventually she plucks up the courage to do so, and, with her lesson in the importance of characterisation and a little more practice, actually becomes a much better writer. Rather touched in retrospect by the relationship between Cox and Ben, she turns her hand tentatively to Cox/Ben fanfiction. Dr. Cox does not object this time.
She never writes anything about Pyramid Head ever again, though.
This can’t REALLY happen when characters are being mistreated because, to be perfectly honest, it’s excessive. I began to feel very sorry for our poor author myself while considering this answer: after all, she was probably only writing the fanfic for a bit of fun. I can’t think of anything someone could write to actually warrant Pyramid Head showing up and nearly killing them, but hey, that’s Pyramid Head for you. You don’t want to piss Pyramid Head off.
Well, at least the story had a happy ending. Good Cox/Ben fanfic makes anything worthwhile.
(Er, it also can’t happen because the characters, alas, are fictional. You may ignore the ‘alas’ in the case of Pyramid Head. I am perfectly fine with Pyramid Head being fictional, thank you very much.)
no subject
When Cox and Phineas eventually find the author, the combined power of their sarcastic speeches is enough to knock her out really made my morning :)
no subject
Am I a bad person for finding that absolutely hilarious? XD
no subject
XD
no subject
These make me want to watch Scrubs, just so I can understand who all of these people are, and why they're running around consorting with Pyramid Head. (Well, you know, more just so I can know who they are.)
However, this may have something to do with the fact that Pyramid Head was looking awfully intimidating when they handed the project in.
Things I am thankful of: I am not a teacher, especially not a teacher with Pyramid Head in my class. He would get straight A's, even if he was in class only once.
‘Budgie’ would probably be a favourite.
I find this far too adorable for anybody's good. Awww. Budgie. Hee hee. ...I also find Holmes as a waiter far too awesome for anybody's own good. Can you imagine if Watson was eating at this restaurant unknowingly? Instant adventure!
Also. Pyramid Head v. Voldemort: ULTIMATE BATTLE. Except for how I bet Pyramid Head would kick Voldemort's ass. Really, is there anybody who could win against him?