Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-09-02 01:30 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-09-02 01:30 pm
I've Got A Pain In The Arse Called Sam.
Right. It turns out that the modem had died, rather than its being a problem with the phone lines, as I had assumed due to the problems starting when our telephones were out. This means that I can now access the Internet again! Hurrah!
Our time in Spain was really just a regular Evans family holiday: I dreamt that I met Holmes and Watson, who were talking soft toy ducks; we got kicked out of the villa; you know, the usual. I'm sure you don't want to hear about that right now. Have my thoughts on the eighth episode of Life on Mars.
That was the most ridiculously gratuitous Star Wars reference ever. Usually Sam’s out-of-time references make some degree of sense. I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, WRITERS. (But I do like the four of them walking along shoulder-to-shoulder. There’s a real sense that Sam belongs there with them, now; he just doesn’t realise it.)
“...Damn, I mean. Damn.” Nice cover-up, Sam. His dad looks very young, but I suppose he would, wouldn’t he? (Of course, this isn’t the point. The point is that OH MY GOD IT’S HIS DAD THEY’RE ARRESTING HIS DAD AND THE WAY EVERYONE LOOKED AT HIM WHEN HE SAID IT WAS SO WONDERFUL MY GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW.)
Oh, and Sam is so very angstful and suddenly everything makes sense to him, and I can’t help but wonder exactly what’s really going on, because the things that Sam sees and experiences in 1973 make sense when you look at the ‘real world’ - the conversion of the factory, the disappearance of his father - which makes me think that he really is seeing what actually happened in that year, from a different angle to his four-year-old self. But if that’s the case, how can it only be a delusion while he’s in a coma? And Sam-in-the-past actually influences events that explain the future. How can that be if none of it is real?
“He’s obviously innocent.” No, Sam, you’re obviously biased. Although I can’t exactly blame you for it.
“When a big old shark at the top of the criminal ladder goes, the other smaller fish get excited. They want to climb that ladder.”
“...this is a very mixed metaphor.”
YOU SEE THAT? THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT LIFE ON MARS.
WELL, NO, IT’S NOT, BECAUSE IT DOESN’T INVOLVE TIME TRAVEL AND SAM BEING ADORABLY ANGSTFUL. BUT I LOVE IT TO DEATH ANYWAY.
Awww, Sam’s little smile when he’s watching his father doing card tricks for Chris. Awww, his father and Chris doing card tricks together in the first place. I like to think that Chris gets distracted when interviewing suspects and ends up chatting about whatever all the time.
...er, Gene, I don’t think your helpful fish metaphor is making it any clearer. (I love Sam’s little ‘oh, God, he’s talking about fish again’ expression.)
And Sam is trying to defend his father, looking for excuses for everything as Mr. Tyler begins to look more and more suspicious, because the thought that he might actually be guilty never even crosses his mind. I can’t judge him for that. I would never be able to suspect my own father of a major crime. I think that my point is ‘oh, Sam, you are adorable, and I wonder how you’ll react if it turns out that - as I suspect is the case - your father is involved in criminal activity’.
Sam asks his father what he thinks of little!Sam, which is adorable but rather irrelevant to a police-suspect-interview. I suspect that Gene will be extremely annoyed by this.
Oh, Sam has to confess that Bolan was a false name. “I thought that giving my real name might confuse you, so I adopted a professional alias.” He’s always so adorably awkward when he’s lying. That’s the third consecutive paragraph I’ve called Sam ‘adorable’ in, but he is being particularly adorable in this episode. (“It’s not a wind-up, love. He really thinks like this.” Hee!)
“The big hand always sticks at twelve. I’ll get it fixed!”
“You never do.”
For some reason this struck me as the cutest thing in the world and I had to pause just to dwell on it and grin.
OH GOD SAM IS BEING SO INCREDIBLY CUTE THAT I MAY EXPLODE. The clock, and reminiscing about his dad, and when he asks to search the jacket and his father says ‘But they’ve already done that’ he looks so adorably crushed. I love him so much. (Although I can’t help wondering what his father thought when he saw this policeman obviously devastated that he wasn’t going to get the chance to search his jacket. He lets him search it again just to make him happy, which is incredibly cute but probably only because he is worried that Sam is a dangerous lunatic with a jacket fetish.)
And he presses it to his face and he is the cutest person ever in the world and if somebody sees him he is going to look extremely strange but nobody does and he is adorable and awww!
Oh dear, Sam is utterly mortified by Gene’s comments about his mother. Which makes sense, of course. (He’s being cutely mortified as well! If the entire episode is like this I am actually going to die from a cuteness overload.)
“Hello. Sam Tyler speaking. Can I help you?” God, it must be weird. This is the first time he’s really interacted with his past self, if listening to him say eight words can be called ‘interacting’. And now he really is covering up, and I’m very interested in seeing whether he’s able to continue deluding himself that his father is innocent. (His behaviour completely changes after hearing it. I really love the acting here. And I’m fairly sure that Gene suspects something is up.)
“You’re supposed to be looking at ladies’ boobs through a magnifying glass.” “Oh, Sam, can’t you have an ordinary day?” Oh, I do love Annie.
Sam has a bit of a tendency to become absolutely convinced of things for which he has no evidence, doesn’t he? In the seventh episode it was ‘destroy Gene’s world and I’ll return to mine’; in this it’s ‘I’m here to stop my dad from leaving us’. But is he actually capable of changing the future? Although he can interact with the world of 1973, we’ve seen no evidence that he can alter the course that events had taken by 2006: in fact, he actually was involved in the collapse of the factory that will eventually be changed into his block of flats, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up actually being partially responsible for his father’s disappearance here.
His father is in the video. Well, if Sam was still able to delude himself before, there’s really no way he can do it now. I feel so sorry for him.
But he’s still trying to protect his father, even though he knows he isn’t innocent (he says ‘you can’t run from this’, and he’s talking to himself as much as to Vic), and trying to comfort him and look after him and stop him from being nervous, and he’s just so lovely. I adore him. And his expression when Vic says that he did it to protect him and Ruth absolutely breaks my heart.
Gene has got to be wondering why Sam is taking such a personal interest in this case by now. I’d like to see him confront him about it.
Sam takes advantage of the opportunity to play football with his father I love him I love him I love him so much. And I love the way he was so awkward and nervous about suggesting it, and he kept starting to say something and then stopping, and his grin when he’s playing is just adorable, and I’m just going to ‘awww’ myself to death.
Oh, God, I’m really worried now. I desperately hope that nothing horrible is going to happen, because I don’t think I could bear Sam’s reaction if something happens to his father.
...or, er, if his father does something horrible. What if he’s the one who killed those people? That would destroy Sam.
“An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe, with a superiority complex... and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding.” BEST DESCRIPTION OF GENE EVER. EVER.
Sam calls “Mum! Dad!” in the house. He really is forgetting himself, isn’t he?
Oh, poor Annie. She’s so worried about him, and she’s so lovely and sweet and she just looks so upset, and this episode really is trying to kill me with adorability.
The scene with Sam and Vic in the house and Sam convincing him to stay is wonderful. I love the “Who are you?” and the awkward-but-lovely handshake and Sam feeling that he’s really managed it, but it breaks my heart at the same time because I’m sure that it isn’t going to work.
Oh, poor Sam. He was so certain that that was going to work, that he was going to wake up. But I think that if he had woken up, he would have been thrilled and laughed like a lunatic and terrified everyone around him with his insane happiness - but then, when he was released from hospital, his first thought would be to tell Annie that he was right, and then it would hit him that she wasn’t there. And he’d unthinkingly call women ‘love’, and he’d keep catching himself looking for Gene, and he wouldn’t belong in 2006 any more - might even hear voices from 1973, and then he wouldn’t know what was real. And then he’d go insane and jump out in front of a car.
Er, admittedly it’s a somewhat elaborate theory. (A friend of mine suggested that perhaps Sam was the one to hit himself with the car in 2006. While that would work in an odd way, it would mean that being hit by the car actually transported him back in time, which seems slightly unlikely.)
Gene seems not to be surprised by Sam asking what he’s doing in his head, and responds by telling Sam that he likes being ‘here’. Because I feel like reading too much into things, I’m going to say that Sam is frustrated and stressed and so his mind isn’t working coherently enough for the people in his 1973 world to respond naturally to things. But Gene never seems to notice anything odd when Sam directly talks about it being all in his head.
That flashback scene in the trees. Was that what I thought it was? God. God, poor Sam.
OH GOD ANNIE NO DON’T NO ANNIE
Little Sam’s voice is horribly creepy. Ergh.
I don’t know whether he’s pointing the gun at Gene because he still refuses to believe that his father could have done all of those things despite the overwhelming evidence, or because he realises it but won’t let him hurt his father. Either way, this is a fantastic scene, and makes me so much more of a Sam/Gene ‘shipper because nothing says ‘love’ like threatening someone with a gun.
“You don’t want me to leave... but I have to leave, Gene.” That seems an odd thing to say, given the circumstances. Oh, no, wait, this is the ‘saving my father will get me out of my coma IT MAKES SENSE IT MAKES SENSE’ thing, isn’t it? (Gene never actually said that he didn’t want Sam to leave, did he? He said that Sam didn’t want to leave. But I think that it was fairly obvious that he wanted Sam to stay.)
Er, Sam, no. I’m fairly sure that giving him the gun is a stupid thing to do. He’ll kill himself, or he’ll kill you, or he’ll kill Gene and Annie, and you will be utterly destroyed whatever happens (obviously in a more literal sense if he kills you). Did I mention that this episode is fantastic, even if Sam is really sort of driving me mad in it?
Vic doesn’t react to Sam saying that he saw what just happened when he was four at all. Annie’s the only person who seems to actually notice when he says time-travel-related things.
In his memories, though, Vic kicked Annie repeatedly and then ran off. So Sam’s presence can change things, it seems. At least to some extent.
Did I mention that I want to hug Sam for ever? Oh, God, he’s crying. I’m going to die.
I’ve really enjoyed doing these running commentaries. They necessitate lots of pausing and backtracking, but all that really does is turn a very enjoyable hour of watching Life on Mars into a very enjoyable two-and-a-half hours of watching and squealing about and yelling at Life on Mars, and if you’ve got the time that can only be a good thing. I don’t know whether I’ll do it for other shows in the future, though. As I’ll probably be watching the next series as it airs, I certainly won’t be able to write in anything like this much detail then. Alas.
For those of you who haven't watched Life on Mars: do. It is absolutely fantastic. I've never seen a series before that was so consistently good.
Our time in Spain was really just a regular Evans family holiday: I dreamt that I met Holmes and Watson, who were talking soft toy ducks; we got kicked out of the villa; you know, the usual. I'm sure you don't want to hear about that right now. Have my thoughts on the eighth episode of Life on Mars.
That was the most ridiculously gratuitous Star Wars reference ever. Usually Sam’s out-of-time references make some degree of sense. I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, WRITERS. (But I do like the four of them walking along shoulder-to-shoulder. There’s a real sense that Sam belongs there with them, now; he just doesn’t realise it.)
“...Damn, I mean. Damn.” Nice cover-up, Sam. His dad looks very young, but I suppose he would, wouldn’t he? (Of course, this isn’t the point. The point is that OH MY GOD IT’S HIS DAD THEY’RE ARRESTING HIS DAD AND THE WAY EVERYONE LOOKED AT HIM WHEN HE SAID IT WAS SO WONDERFUL MY GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW.)
Oh, and Sam is so very angstful and suddenly everything makes sense to him, and I can’t help but wonder exactly what’s really going on, because the things that Sam sees and experiences in 1973 make sense when you look at the ‘real world’ - the conversion of the factory, the disappearance of his father - which makes me think that he really is seeing what actually happened in that year, from a different angle to his four-year-old self. But if that’s the case, how can it only be a delusion while he’s in a coma? And Sam-in-the-past actually influences events that explain the future. How can that be if none of it is real?
“He’s obviously innocent.” No, Sam, you’re obviously biased. Although I can’t exactly blame you for it.
“When a big old shark at the top of the criminal ladder goes, the other smaller fish get excited. They want to climb that ladder.”
“...this is a very mixed metaphor.”
YOU SEE THAT? THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT LIFE ON MARS.
WELL, NO, IT’S NOT, BECAUSE IT DOESN’T INVOLVE TIME TRAVEL AND SAM BEING ADORABLY ANGSTFUL. BUT I LOVE IT TO DEATH ANYWAY.
Awww, Sam’s little smile when he’s watching his father doing card tricks for Chris. Awww, his father and Chris doing card tricks together in the first place. I like to think that Chris gets distracted when interviewing suspects and ends up chatting about whatever all the time.
...er, Gene, I don’t think your helpful fish metaphor is making it any clearer. (I love Sam’s little ‘oh, God, he’s talking about fish again’ expression.)
And Sam is trying to defend his father, looking for excuses for everything as Mr. Tyler begins to look more and more suspicious, because the thought that he might actually be guilty never even crosses his mind. I can’t judge him for that. I would never be able to suspect my own father of a major crime. I think that my point is ‘oh, Sam, you are adorable, and I wonder how you’ll react if it turns out that - as I suspect is the case - your father is involved in criminal activity’.
Sam asks his father what he thinks of little!Sam, which is adorable but rather irrelevant to a police-suspect-interview. I suspect that Gene will be extremely annoyed by this.
Oh, Sam has to confess that Bolan was a false name. “I thought that giving my real name might confuse you, so I adopted a professional alias.” He’s always so adorably awkward when he’s lying. That’s the third consecutive paragraph I’ve called Sam ‘adorable’ in, but he is being particularly adorable in this episode. (“It’s not a wind-up, love. He really thinks like this.” Hee!)
“The big hand always sticks at twelve. I’ll get it fixed!”
“You never do.”
For some reason this struck me as the cutest thing in the world and I had to pause just to dwell on it and grin.
OH GOD SAM IS BEING SO INCREDIBLY CUTE THAT I MAY EXPLODE. The clock, and reminiscing about his dad, and when he asks to search the jacket and his father says ‘But they’ve already done that’ he looks so adorably crushed. I love him so much. (Although I can’t help wondering what his father thought when he saw this policeman obviously devastated that he wasn’t going to get the chance to search his jacket. He lets him search it again just to make him happy, which is incredibly cute but probably only because he is worried that Sam is a dangerous lunatic with a jacket fetish.)
And he presses it to his face and he is the cutest person ever in the world and if somebody sees him he is going to look extremely strange but nobody does and he is adorable and awww!
Oh dear, Sam is utterly mortified by Gene’s comments about his mother. Which makes sense, of course. (He’s being cutely mortified as well! If the entire episode is like this I am actually going to die from a cuteness overload.)
“Hello. Sam Tyler speaking. Can I help you?” God, it must be weird. This is the first time he’s really interacted with his past self, if listening to him say eight words can be called ‘interacting’. And now he really is covering up, and I’m very interested in seeing whether he’s able to continue deluding himself that his father is innocent. (His behaviour completely changes after hearing it. I really love the acting here. And I’m fairly sure that Gene suspects something is up.)
“You’re supposed to be looking at ladies’ boobs through a magnifying glass.” “Oh, Sam, can’t you have an ordinary day?” Oh, I do love Annie.
Sam has a bit of a tendency to become absolutely convinced of things for which he has no evidence, doesn’t he? In the seventh episode it was ‘destroy Gene’s world and I’ll return to mine’; in this it’s ‘I’m here to stop my dad from leaving us’. But is he actually capable of changing the future? Although he can interact with the world of 1973, we’ve seen no evidence that he can alter the course that events had taken by 2006: in fact, he actually was involved in the collapse of the factory that will eventually be changed into his block of flats, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up actually being partially responsible for his father’s disappearance here.
His father is in the video. Well, if Sam was still able to delude himself before, there’s really no way he can do it now. I feel so sorry for him.
But he’s still trying to protect his father, even though he knows he isn’t innocent (he says ‘you can’t run from this’, and he’s talking to himself as much as to Vic), and trying to comfort him and look after him and stop him from being nervous, and he’s just so lovely. I adore him. And his expression when Vic says that he did it to protect him and Ruth absolutely breaks my heart.
Gene has got to be wondering why Sam is taking such a personal interest in this case by now. I’d like to see him confront him about it.
Sam takes advantage of the opportunity to play football with his father I love him I love him I love him so much. And I love the way he was so awkward and nervous about suggesting it, and he kept starting to say something and then stopping, and his grin when he’s playing is just adorable, and I’m just going to ‘awww’ myself to death.
Oh, God, I’m really worried now. I desperately hope that nothing horrible is going to happen, because I don’t think I could bear Sam’s reaction if something happens to his father.
...or, er, if his father does something horrible. What if he’s the one who killed those people? That would destroy Sam.
“An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe, with a superiority complex... and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding.” BEST DESCRIPTION OF GENE EVER. EVER.
Sam calls “Mum! Dad!” in the house. He really is forgetting himself, isn’t he?
Oh, poor Annie. She’s so worried about him, and she’s so lovely and sweet and she just looks so upset, and this episode really is trying to kill me with adorability.
The scene with Sam and Vic in the house and Sam convincing him to stay is wonderful. I love the “Who are you?” and the awkward-but-lovely handshake and Sam feeling that he’s really managed it, but it breaks my heart at the same time because I’m sure that it isn’t going to work.
Oh, poor Sam. He was so certain that that was going to work, that he was going to wake up. But I think that if he had woken up, he would have been thrilled and laughed like a lunatic and terrified everyone around him with his insane happiness - but then, when he was released from hospital, his first thought would be to tell Annie that he was right, and then it would hit him that she wasn’t there. And he’d unthinkingly call women ‘love’, and he’d keep catching himself looking for Gene, and he wouldn’t belong in 2006 any more - might even hear voices from 1973, and then he wouldn’t know what was real. And then he’d go insane and jump out in front of a car.
Er, admittedly it’s a somewhat elaborate theory. (A friend of mine suggested that perhaps Sam was the one to hit himself with the car in 2006. While that would work in an odd way, it would mean that being hit by the car actually transported him back in time, which seems slightly unlikely.)
Gene seems not to be surprised by Sam asking what he’s doing in his head, and responds by telling Sam that he likes being ‘here’. Because I feel like reading too much into things, I’m going to say that Sam is frustrated and stressed and so his mind isn’t working coherently enough for the people in his 1973 world to respond naturally to things. But Gene never seems to notice anything odd when Sam directly talks about it being all in his head.
That flashback scene in the trees. Was that what I thought it was? God. God, poor Sam.
OH GOD ANNIE NO DON’T NO ANNIE
Little Sam’s voice is horribly creepy. Ergh.
I don’t know whether he’s pointing the gun at Gene because he still refuses to believe that his father could have done all of those things despite the overwhelming evidence, or because he realises it but won’t let him hurt his father. Either way, this is a fantastic scene, and makes me so much more of a Sam/Gene ‘shipper because nothing says ‘love’ like threatening someone with a gun.
“You don’t want me to leave... but I have to leave, Gene.” That seems an odd thing to say, given the circumstances. Oh, no, wait, this is the ‘saving my father will get me out of my coma IT MAKES SENSE IT MAKES SENSE’ thing, isn’t it? (Gene never actually said that he didn’t want Sam to leave, did he? He said that Sam didn’t want to leave. But I think that it was fairly obvious that he wanted Sam to stay.)
Er, Sam, no. I’m fairly sure that giving him the gun is a stupid thing to do. He’ll kill himself, or he’ll kill you, or he’ll kill Gene and Annie, and you will be utterly destroyed whatever happens (obviously in a more literal sense if he kills you). Did I mention that this episode is fantastic, even if Sam is really sort of driving me mad in it?
Vic doesn’t react to Sam saying that he saw what just happened when he was four at all. Annie’s the only person who seems to actually notice when he says time-travel-related things.
In his memories, though, Vic kicked Annie repeatedly and then ran off. So Sam’s presence can change things, it seems. At least to some extent.
Did I mention that I want to hug Sam for ever? Oh, God, he’s crying. I’m going to die.
I’ve really enjoyed doing these running commentaries. They necessitate lots of pausing and backtracking, but all that really does is turn a very enjoyable hour of watching Life on Mars into a very enjoyable two-and-a-half hours of watching and squealing about and yelling at Life on Mars, and if you’ve got the time that can only be a good thing. I don’t know whether I’ll do it for other shows in the future, though. As I’ll probably be watching the next series as it airs, I certainly won’t be able to write in anything like this much detail then. Alas.
For those of you who haven't watched Life on Mars: do. It is absolutely fantastic. I've never seen a series before that was so consistently good.
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"I’ve really enjoyed doing these running commentaries. They necessitate lots of pausing and backtracking, but all that really does is turn a very enjoyable hour of watching Life on Mars into a very enjoyable two-and-a-half hours of watching and squealing about and yelling at Life on Mars, and if you’ve got the time that can only be a good thing. I don’t know whether I’ll do it for other shows in the future, though."
I do it for Stargate, but it mostly results in me going off on a tangent about how STUPID Daniel is and how much SG-1 demands everyone just do what they want. I tried doing it for House but it took too much time and I'd rather just watch House.
I think LJ has been behaving as usual. The slashers over at That Community are still crazy, the
I think I really need to look into Life On Mars, what with EVERYBODY who has seen it saying that it is the best thing since sliced bread and all, and it's only eight episodes. I can catch up with eight episodes.
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Gene: You're nicked!
Sam, Who Is So Adorable Throughout This Episode That I Almost Died: OMG DAD
Gene: I can't quite work out why you seem so convinced that the sun shines out of our suspect's arse.
Sam: OBVIOUSLY HE CAN'T BE GUILTY HE'S MY DAD
All The Evidence: Your father is a terrible person.
Sam: LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU AND NOW I WILL TRY TO SAVE MY FATHER BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THAT WILL GET ME OUT OF 1973.
Gene: You love it here. Also, he's guilty.
Sam: He's a good person! People who are important to me can't be bad people!
Sam's Dad: I will now manipulate you shamelessly before almost shooting you.
Sam: OH GOD MY BRAIN
Riona: OH GOD MY HEART
So, er, yes. (I honestly cannot thank you enough for introducing me to this, and to Top Gear, and for generally being awesome. I want to write lots of fanfiction for you in gratitude. We'll see.)
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Ah well. Not long til Series 2, eh?
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Getting kicked out of the villa? How can this not be interesting? HOLMES AND WATSON AS TOY DUCKS? ADORABLE!
Also, man! Good to hear your Internet is finally fixed.
I keep telling myself I'm going to do a running commentary on Doctor Who (first season), and then I never do.
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Holmes and Watson were the cutest soft toy ducks ever. They were both mallards and for some reason, although Holmes was a drake, Watson had female-duck colouring with a dark patch of fabric above his bill to represent a moustache.
If you did do a running commentary on Doctor Who, I would be so happy. (YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH LIFE ON MARS, BY THE WAY. THE MAIN CHARACTER IS COMPLETELY INSANE AND IT IS AWESOME. YES I KNOW I DO FAR TOO MUCH FORCING-FANDOMS-ONTO-PEOPLE. ALSO YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS TOP GEAR CLIP AND THEN TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.)
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Did you have a good vacation otherwise?
I very nearly squeed at the thought of duck!Watson having a tiny moustache. So adorable. I badly want some soft toy Holmes and Watson ducks now, so very badly.
Next time I watch Doctor Who, I'll do it! I finally own a legal copy of it, too. The US doesn't carry it, so I had to snag one in Canada. HOORAY! (Do you have any links to Life On Mars episodes? Because if it's a British show, I don't think I'll be able to find it anywhere but the Internet. Stupid US television.)
(ALSO I SPENT MY ENTIRE DAY WATCHING CLIPS OF TOP GEAR AND WHOSE LINE. I BLAME IT ALL ON YOU.
Hammond is very nearly one of the most adorable persons ever. The radio broadcast show? Needing to be rescued by Clarkson while his car/boat was sinking? (...Clarkson is the one who's not Hammond and doesn't have ridiculous hair, right? I keep getting May and Clarkson confused.) And, er, I see much more Hammond/Clarkson than anything also, although an OT3 (to say nothing of the dog) is clearly the best. I love Clarkson's random fits of uncontrollable laughter, too.)
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Five years ago I rented a house in the south of France which, it said in the blurb, came with a pool. And indeed it did. But on the second day of our holiday we awoke to find that half the water had escaped.
Keen to preserve what was left, I donned my Inspector Clouseau scuba suit and ascertained that the only possible way for water to leave the pool was via a big hole in the bottom. Unaware that this had something to do with filtration, I covered it with a large dinner plate and went to the beach.
Certainly, my brave and swift actions meant that no more water leaked away, but unfortunately they also meant that the pump was sucking on nothing for eight straight hours. People say the resultant explosion could be heard in Stuttgart.
My point is that the Top Gear team in the madman's villa would be the greatest thing ever. And yes, Clarkson is the very tall, very opinionated one.
I am so glad that you're watching Top Gear. So glad. (Hammond/Clarkson was the first pairing I saw, too, but then Hammond/May became increasingly obvious, and then, of course, I fell utterly in love with the OT3.)
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AND THEN MAIL IT TO THE CRAZY VILLA MANBut seriously, that would be awesome....although really, that excerpt is pretty exactly what would happen anyway, so I don't know. Man. That is awesome. And now I'm left wondering if Clarkson actually has a Clouseau scuba suit, or if he was just saying that for the column. Because I can actually see it surprisingly well (and I must say, it is scary as hell).
(Do you have any links to, you know, some Hammond/May clips on hand? Because apparently I'm awful at navigating YouTube.) ALSO ALSO, it's probably just me, but I swear Clarkson has this facial expression that makes him look just like the Janitor. (I am now picturing Clarkson as the Janitor. Oh God, that would make Hammond JD. ...and now I am picturing Hammond and JD meeting, and being best of pals.)
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Oh, as if one Top Gear crossover isn't enough. (But, er, it really isn't.
The Hammond/May is usually in the colossal, insane races in which Clarkson is in a car and Hammond and May are using some other form of transport. If you haven't seen the race to Oslo, do.
Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three (there's a lovely Hammond/May bit at the beginning of this).
Part Four.
Part Five.
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