"He Moves Around Like A Bloody Walrus."

[rionaleonhart]

The interesting thing about Oz and James’s Big Gay Wine Adventure is that I’m so used to James being the sane one on Top Gear. When he’s taken away from his utterly mad co-presenters, it’s easy to see just how relative the concept of ‘sanity’ is. James is clearly a complete lunatic, but I never really noticed it before because Jeremy and Richard are so much more insane.

Anyway! As proof of just how little willpower I actually have: not three days after making that List of Fics I Should Not Write, I had written one of them. Specifically, the James May/Oz Clarke one. It was pointless and plotless and was, y’know, James/Oz, but at least I’ve got it written, right? It’s out of my system, right?

Wrong.

Because I don’t think it’s really possible to write a fanfic for a pairing without at least beginning to develop some sort of fondness for it, or at least some sort of understanding of how it might work, no matter how much you may have disliked it when you began. And the concept of James/Oz, which started as something lighthearted and silly and, frankly, disturbing, has been buzzing around inside my mind and gaining more and more weight. Writing the fic didn’t kill it: it only made it stronger. And now I want to read more James/Oz, and who on Earth is going to write more James/Oz for me to read? Why must I latch onto such odd pairings? Nobody else is going to write this! Ever!

Well, actually, this may not strictly be true - at least, I hope that it’s not - because some mysterious person over on characterlove also seems to be suffering from James/Oz-related ideas, after some silly roleplaying that, er, I may have instigated. I am very pleased by this! I have mad delusions of single-handedly creating a little army of James/Oz-writing lunatics. It will be glorious.

Why oh why oh why can't I get this pairing out of my head? Granted, it's got moments like "Ahaha, I'll start again - I touched you again." "You touched me again!" "I can't stop it!" and Oz wanting them to sleep on the exact spot he and his girlfriend were on and, y'know, being in a jacuzzi together in paper thongs, which is certainly more than most of my non-insane pairings get, but it is still utterly, utterly inexcuseable.

The moral of this post is that you may think that writing the insane pairing will make it leave you alone, but you are probably very, very wrong. Also that James/Oz should probably never be written under any circumstances, but I want you to write it anyway.

WHY HAVE I MADE AN ENTIRE POST ABOUT OZ AND JAMES’S BIG WINE ADVENTURE? IT IS A TINY SILLY BRITISH SPECIALIST PROGRAMME ABOUT WINE. I’M NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN WINE. THERE ARE ONLY GOING TO BE FIVE EPISODES. I THINK THAT MAYBE THREE OF YOU WATCH IT. Oh, well, never mind. (It's not just a post about the programme, anyway. It is also about my being an idiot, and it imparts a valuable lesson! About, er, crackpairings!)

Comments

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

So... are we going to get to read this fic?

One of the things that has amused me deeply about the Big Gay Wine Adventure is that there are lots of TV critics watching it and writing "I shouldn't like this, but it's absolutely brilliant" immediately followed by "and the yob off Top Gear is the *sane* one on this programme!" I have a feeling that the big gay wine adventure is a secret pleasure for lots and lots of people who are frantically telling themselves it's educational about wine.

I don't agree with you on the "James is completely insane" thing since Oz Clarke is clearly far more insane than James. Really. Okay, he is at least slightly more insane than James.

However, he did sing Sweeney Todd the other night and therefore I love him to bits. Even though he didn't sing one of my favourite bits, I have been wandering around humming "It's priest! Try a little priest!" for the past few days and no doubt I shall move on to "By the Sea" very shortly. As long as I don't start singing the main theme because that just disturbs people.

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

I have to say, as someone who's probably actually seen not much more of Top Gear than I have of Big Gay Wine Adventure, I have nothing at all against Oz/James. I mean, two men, driving around France getting fairly drunk every evening, touching each other to the extent that one of them actually complains about it, singing, sleeping in a small tent together... it pretty much seems logical.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

What did I do to deserve the damn you Draco tag? I mean, not that I'm not proud of getting you to write James/Oz (and I LOVE whoever is rp'ing with you on characterlove. And no, it's not me!) but it's all your fault. Serves you right for encouraging me to write House MD/Top Gear/Scrubs :p.

Also, if you DO manage to get more people to join your army of James/Oz writers, tell me how, so that I may use it to get people to join the Top Gear Dog fangirling side of things.

And I think it's great there's a show on television that proves once and for all that James is in fact a complete lunatic.

And also? Oz TOTALLY serenaded James. HE SO DID. *uses big gay icon*

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"I’M NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN WINE."

YOU WATCH TOP GEAR TOO AND DON'T CARE ABOUT CARS!

Well, I don't anyway. I've seen a whole bunch of episodes now, and I still think cars are pretty much boxes on wheels.

[m-l-h.livejournal.com]

James is most definitely not sane. We're wise to that now. We'll all be looking at him in a whole different light when TG comes back on *nod*

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

some mysterious person over on characterlove also seems to be suffering from James/Oz-related ideas, after some silly roleplaying

...*whistles*