How About These Fish, Huh?

[rionaleonhart]

A few months back, I told my mum about a client I had who was worried all his poems about piss might make people think he was into watersports, and then I had to explain what 'watersports' meant. Ten minutes later, she asked, 'Do you think he was winding you up when he said people might think he was - what was it called - a rain merchant?'


Between work, other games and overambitious projects, I've slowed down on Persona 5 Royal, but here are the notes I've been making here and there over the last three (real-world) months! I'm in mid-November; I've cleared the casino Palace but haven't yet sent the calling card.


PERSONA 5 ROYAL LETS ME INVITE RYUJI TO THE BATHHOUSE

Ryuji goes 'You got it made, man!' and both choices are great: 'Wanna move in?' and 'I live in an attic.'

Ryuji's enthusiastic about being asked to move in as we bathe together.

I'm choosing all the flirtiest options with Makoto and I have no regrets. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed her dynamic with the protagonist. The whole 'fake dating' storyline is a lot of fun.

'I guess b-boyfriends... um, really can be... reliable...' Makoto's so awkward right after we start dating, and it's very cute.

It seems weird that we never celebrate anyone's birthday. Maybe every character's birthday falls two days before we meet them.

No, I just checked and Ryuji's birthday is on 3 July! You should have said something, Ryuji; we could've hung out! If I replay this game, I'm going to look up everyone's canonical birthday and spend time with them on that day if possible.

I really love how Sojiro gradually, grumpily warms up to us.

I love this 9 October hangout with Futaba where we bump into Iwai! Delighted by the opportunity to describe Futaba as 'basically my sister', and by the fact that Futaba's terrified of Iwai at first but then nerds out over model guns with him.

I really like the rank 10 non-romance confidant scene with Ann. She's a person who values her friends so strongly.

Aww, Kasumi notices I look like I haven't been sleeping well and asks if I'm okay! She's very sweet.

I didn't notice on my first playthrough, but there are Hallowe'en decorations and people in costume around the city if you wander Tokyo on the 31st of October!



Poor Haru. The time between defeating Okumura and the press conference is agonising; you know something's wrong, but all you can do is reassure Haru that things will be fine, because the protagonist doesn't have the same knowledge you do.

Royal adds a GRATUITOUS DANCE SCENE and I'm sort of delighted.

Given that Persona 5 Royal actually lets me spend time socially with Akechi, I'm reflecting on his furious loneliness in the original game. Will the same scenes play out here? Is Rei genuinely reaching out to him in friendship, whereas Akechi can only believe that they're playing a cat-and-mouse game, because surely no one would spend time with him without ulterior motives?

Ooh, I do like Akechi luring me into Mementos alone so we can duel. And going 'well, I want to see whether we could kill each other, but we probably shouldn't actually duel to the death when we're working together.'

The line 'I'm going to be entirely honest with you: I hate you' immediately makes Akechi/Joker much more shippable to me. Ryuji/Joker is still where my heart lies, but I can see why this pairing is so popular!

'Make certain that you never forget: I am the one who will defeat you.' This is great. Akechi needs to calm down.



The problem with Akechi's design is that, whenever he's talking, I'm just thinking about how much and how undeservedly I love Light Yagami instead. Light and Akechi would absolutely loathe each other.

Comments

[simplecoffee]

...wait, your client was concerned people might think he was into actual watersports?

Light and Akechi would absolutely loathe each other. BUT WOULD THEY FUCK

[rionaleonhart]

In defence of my client's concerns, his book did include multiple lovingly detailed poems about piss.

(Client: Do I have too many poems about pee? Should I remove one of them? Are people going to think I'm into watersports?
Riona: I mean, you don't have to remove any, but people are definitely going to think you're into watersports.)

BUT WOULD THEY FUCK

Maybe? They would hate every moment of it but both convince themselves that they were asserting their superiority.

[simplecoffee]

I gotta say, it seems weirder to write poems about pee and not be into watersports! 🤔 I guess he could potentially just have a whole bunch of unresolved Issues; poetry is (un)fortunately great for bringing those to light.

Maybe? They would hate every moment of it but both convince themselves that they were asserting their superiority.
Possibly the best kind of villainfucking then, lol.

[pict]

Royal adds a GRATUITOUS DANCE SCENE and I'm sort of delighted.

That scene caused me to shut down emotionally. Is it time for my spoiler-free P5R salt yet?

[rionaleonhart]

If it's not spoilery, go for it! Let your soul fly free.

[pict]

Okay, I will!

What day are you at, approximately? Have you lost a day to the stadium yet? I believe that was October 3rd.

[rionaleonhart]

I have! I'm on the ninth of November, I think.

[pict]

So, here's the issue (according to me, an aggressive Kasumi naysayer). Kasumi is a character with two distinct, parallel characterisations: the most perfectest perfect girl ever, with a figure everyone loves to discuss for some creepy reason; and a girl who isn't the gymnast she wants to be, suffers from anxiety, and is collapsing under the pressure of all the expectations on her. The writing volleys so violently from one to the other at any given moment with zero cohesion that it leaves me feeling nothing but utter irritation that this is what I paid a second amount of $79.99 (plus tax!) for. The dance scene is pretty much the microcosm of that: for her storyline up to that point, it would have made much more sense for her to fall on her face, but instead she acquits herself perfectly... because as much as the game likes to tell us about Kasumi's issues, it has no interest in actually showing them.

It also doesn't make a terrible amount of sense that she was invited to perform when the game repeatedly implies she's fiercely disliked at school due to how, uh, pretty and kind and athletic she is? Ugh, whatever. Basically, the game wants to eat its cake and have it too... and I will not allow it! I will be here, festering impotently in my own salt mines, until the end of eternity!

Also, the fact that the school threatens to, and I quote, 'revoke [her] honour student status' is fucking stupid. And a borderline incomprehensible threat. I looked it up and couldn't find any indication that an honour student in Japan is anything other than a student who earns especially high grades, like it is everywhere else. I guess the school was going to start systematically lowering her grades until she, idk, danced with a ribbon better? Good luck with that, Shujin. I'm sure her television producer father wouldn't threaten to leak that story or anything. The intent behind that gibberish threat was never clarified in any helpful or remotely intelligible way so I'm angry that the game wasted my time with it.

AND ANOTHER THING. RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS ARE THE MOST BORING FORM OF GYMNASTICS. Fuck you and the balance beam you never actually balance on, Kasumi!

I... I'm done now. Probably. For tonight.

[rionaleonhart]

The game definitely seems confused about what it's doing with Kasumi! The dance scene point is a really good one; the game's put so much emphasis on how she's been struggling to perform, so I was a little surprised that that scene went 'she was incredible and then everyone clapped'.

this is what I paid a second amount of $79.99 (plus tax!) for.

Wow, yes, the fact that I only paid £10 for the original game and £25 for Royal probably helped to prevent any resentment.

AND ANOTHER THING. RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS ARE THE MOST BORING FORM OF GYMNASTICS. Fuck you and the balance beam you never actually balance on, Kasumi!

This is my favourite part of this rant. Beautiful.

[pict]

Yeah, as soon as the five minute dance scene was over, I put down my PS4 controller and didn't go back to it for about a week. It defeated me. Hence, my very dramatic emotional collapse. I don't know if I'm the same person I was before.

[pict]

Final thought (for now): it really is a shame that most of the updated re-release resources went to Kasumi when the game already has so many great ladies that we could have been spending more time with instead. Haru gets approximately three extra lines of dialogue over the course of the original storyline and [spoiler mumble spoiler]! ...I'll, uh, I'll get back to that one.

[(Anonymous)]

I finished Persona 5 Royal maybe a week before The Storm That Broke Everything so I can't really jump back into it even if just to play Tycoon at inopportune moments! Still, least I finished it I guess!

Royal adds a GRATUITOUS DANCE SCENE and I'm sort of delighted.

When I went into playing Royal, I was trying to think of who Joker was into - I romanced Makoto on my first run through so didn't want to repeat, Futaba for me is firmly in the Family Not Romance zone, and I see Ann and Joker as having a friendship rather than anything else. I decided I'd quite like to maybe date Hifumi if it would let me but was keeping my options open and then that gratuitious dance scene happened and I was like, nope, he is actually infatuated with Kasumi. Look at that expression!

(Naturally, this is ignoring that the most canon ship in P5 Royal is Joker/Akechi because... well, you've seen their social link. They're the most date-like non-dates ever.)

The Akechi Mementoes duel was terrifying as I suddenly realised I DID NOT HAVE ANY PERSONAS ON ME WITH HEALING SKILLS. Item spam happened!

I did like Akechi in the original game (well, more I liked the concept of a person who I saw as dripping in derision hiding themself behind a mask, and I really liked the last scenes with Akechi in the cruise ship. The voice acting didn't hurt either), but I do feel Royal does a much better job giving him -character-. It's certainly produced more Akechi fic in the fandom too, haha.

Other thoughts on Royal (obviously up to where you've played up to): As a person who works in a school (and therefore safeguarding is something I have to be trained in yearly), I found Maruki's counselling sessions hilariously awful. Maruki, you would not last in a job around here, my friend.

I'm glad you're still posting your thoughts and when you get into more new stuff I will happily talk WALLS OF WORDS with you about it.

-timydamonkey

[rionaleonhart]

It's true: having your PS4 eat lightning is lousy, but it'd be even worse if it had happened just before you finished a 120-hour game.

I like your 'who would Joker be into?' approach to making your romance decisions!

Akechi definitely feels more fleshed out in Royal, although I don't yet love him as much as the fandom does.

Yeah, Maruki... doesn't seem great at boundaries. I'm almost certain that the counsellor shouldn't be phoning me outside school.

I look forward to your walls of words!

[marginaliana]

"rain merchant" is a fantastic variation of "into watersports." I love it. (Also yeah, multiple poems about piss is gonna make people think that for sure. Embrace your audience, I guess?)

[rionaleonhart]

Embrace your audience, I guess?

I should have given him this advice! Not everyone's going to want to read your piece about being peed on to the point of submersion, but the people who do are really going to want to read it.

[falkner]

I'll be honest, even one poem about piss would make me think the writer of whatever poetry book I was reading was into watersports.

[rionaleonhart]

Ten minutes after he expressed his watersports concern:

Client: You know the poem with the men at the pub? You know, their wives go to pee and—
Riona: They don't go to pee. They just go to the bar.
Client: Oh. I changed it. They were peeing, and I changed it.
Riona: You've just revealed to me that this collection used to contain even more piss.
Client: I swear I'm not into watersports.

[falkner]

The size of this guy's denial...

[runicmagitek]

PERSONA 5 ROYAL LETS ME INVITE RYUJI TO THE BATHHOUSE

👀👀👀👀👀

Now that's the quality content I want out of a game!!

And omg I can see that with Akechi holy crap D: NOW I CAN'T UNSEE IT!

[rionaleonhart]

Exactly! Every game would be improved by the ability to invite Ryuji to the bathhouse, frankly. I don't care if Ryuji's not a character.