So, Er, We'd Better Not Get Too Attached To Anyone We Meet.

[rionaleonhart]

Well, because dracothelizard and I are both complete masochists, we have been playing Silent Hill 4, which is a horrible, horrible game. I often wonder just how much Konami hate their customers.

It would probably be slightly less terrifying if Draco didn't shriek in a heart-attack-inducing fashion when monsters attack unexpectedly. Honestly, Draco, do you have no regard for my nerves at all?


- In Silent Hill 2, there's Beginner mode for all the cowards (like me) who have nervous breakdowns when faced by something that needs more than one thwack from a plank of wood to dispatch. In Silent Hill 4, the easiest mode is Easy mode, and Easy mode is difficult. I'd hate to think of what that escalator with the wall-monsters is like on harder difficulty levels.

- Yes, the escalator with the wall-monsters. THEY COME OUT OF NOWHERE. THEY KEEP KNOCKING YOU DOWN. THEY DO HUGE AMOUNTS OF DAMAGE. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY MODE.

- MONSTERS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO FOLLOW YOU FROM AREA TO AREA. YOUR REALISM HAS NO PLACE HERE. HONESTLY, THERE'S A HOLE IN YOUR BATHROOM THAT LEADS TO DIFFERENT PLACES EVERY TIME YOU GO THROUGH IT. COULDN'T YOU HAVE AFFORDED TO SPARE US REALISTIC MONSTER-MOVEMENT AS WELL?

- WHILE WE'RE AT IT, SILENT HILL 4, YOU CAN'T HAVE MONSTERS THAT CAN'T BE KILLED AND CAN INJURE YOU JUST BY BEING THERE. THAT'S JUST UNSPORTING.

- We are at Building World, and we have found exactly one health drink (which I drank accidentally while trying to use the chocolate milk shut up) and one First-Aid Kit. I never truly appreciated how well-provided for you were in Silent Hill 2.

- It'd be sort of nice to have a radio, y'know? Much as I hate 'ARGH THE STATIC', I'm not all that fond of 'ARGH SUDDENLY MONSTERS' either.

- Admittedly, I do like the apartment. It is lovely to have a place of healing and saving and spying on your hot hot neighbour. But, because this is a Silent Hill game and the Silent Hill developers hate everyone, it's becoming more and more unnerving, and I suspect it will become much, much worse as the game goes on.


In other news, Jack of All Trades is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life. It's full of dreadful puns and ridiculous action sequences and questionable historical accuracy and unexpected episodes revolving entirely around bondage, and I can't help wondering what the target audience is supposed to be.

"From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli
Sailin' round the bloody world to defend democracy!"

Best theme song lyrics ever? I think so.

By the way, dracothelizard is awesome, even if she does keep foiling my evil evil sabotaging-her-Livejournal plans by signing out before I have the opportunity to make entries professing her love for Jeremy Clarkson. Alas.

Comments

[reipan.livejournal.com]

and unexpected episodes revolving entirely around bondage

GOOD GOD I HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHOW.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

It's available on torrents, either try isohunt.com or mininova! The bondage episode has our two main characters go undercover on Agony Island, which is a BDSM resort, run by the Marquis de Sade. The show (and the episode) are EXACTLY as cracky as you think it is.

Also, Riona, you know very well I only screamed three times. Not ALL the time. Just at the wall monsters and maybe the floaty ghosts and all right, when I dropped down the hole and the two-headed-two-handed monster was there but it just APPEARED out of nowhere.

I love our new best friend the FAQ.

[reipan.livejournal.com]

Hey, it's someone I don't know! Hello, someone I don't know! ^_^ And...thank you.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Hello! I hope you can work the torrents and enjoy X Marquis The Spot :D

[anazri.livejournal.com]

I can only begin to imagine the LJ-sabotaging war that is probably waging over there...

I really want to see this Jack Of All Trades thing now, without having a clue as to what it is XD

[twilit-wanderer.livejournal.com]

As awful as the knowledge of impending DEATH is, I have always those times when, for whatever reason, you're without a radio in the earlier games, much, much worse.

Maybe listening for the static is some strange form of masochism. AND THE GAME DEVELOPERS ARE SADISTS.

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

I love it when you make these posts XD