Don't Look At Me Like That.

[rionaleonhart]

I forgot the last thing I'd looked at on my phone was this image, so I unlocked my phone an hour later and was immediately confronted by Light staring at me, judging me.

(Heads-up: the image in question is, er, suggestive. Fully clothed, but definitely suggestive. I apologise if you end up judging me along with Light. Or, alternatively, you're welcome.)

In the interest of giving credit, this picture comes from the Death Note fangame Bound Prince, a spirited work of absolute filth I probably wouldn't recommend looking into unless you're feeling particularly adventurous.


In less disreputable Death Note news, I mentioned on Tumblr that I was thinking about what Pokémon Light would have, and wyomingsmustache sent me a message in response: 'Light having an internal monologue to decide which starter to choose based on which won't out him as Kira'.

I was so tickled by the idea that I immediately had to write Light's internal monologue:

Bulbasaur is the obvious strategic choice; it has a type advantage against the first two gyms. Does that mean it's the choice Kira would make? Too much cold logic, not enough emotion? Most people would just choose the Pokémon they like the most.

Then there's the fact that Bulbasaur is part Poison type, making it an obvious choice for a killer. Plus it can learn Sleep Powder, which could be useful if I ever find myself cornered. But, if I've thought of that, L's probably thought of it too.

The correct move would be to choose Bulbasaur. I can't give up the strategic advantage. But I have to convince L that I've chosen it because I think it's cute.

I love Light's tendency to overthink everything. It's so easy to envision him going into endless internal calculations when presented with literally any choice in front of L. And, because he's a master of rationalisation, his conclusion is usually 'the correct thing to do is coincidentally the thing I want to do'.

I don't know what Pokémon L would have. Maybe a Porygon that lives in his computer systems. I feel he probably wouldn't be great at taking care of a pet, so it's best to give him something he wouldn't have to feed.

I was going to say Misa had either a Gothorita or a Gothitelle, and then I checked Gothitelle's Pokédex entries, which include the detail that it can see people's lifespans. Was... was this Pokémon designed specifically for Misa Amane?

Comments

[wolfy_writing]

Oh my, that is An Image on the link! I can see why Light is judging you. (I'm not, but I have cleaered the very low bar of being less judgmental than Light Yagami.)

And he would absolutely hilariously overthink the Pokemon thing and try to convince L he thought Bulbasaur was cute, in his "I am a normal human and understand normal human feelings" way. L would buy him a Bulbasaur plushie, which Light would (correctly in this case) see as a secret test.

[rionaleonhart]

This entire comment made me smile very hard.

I desperately want to see the scene where Light is presented with a Bulbasaur plushie. How does he respond to this in a way that makes it clear he loves Bulbasaur without coming across as out-of-character? His sister would squeal over the plushie, but that's not an option open to him; if he squeals, L will see through it instantly.

[sushiflop]

He displays it prominently with all his other academic awards and certificates!

[rionaleonhart]

This is the perfect solution and I love it. Take that, L!

[sushiflop]

The more I think about this the funnier it gets. ⭐ Primo post.

[(Anonymous)]

I thought Light might have an Eevee as it has the most strategic value; you can react to any scenario you may end up in with strategic precision when you have so many evolution choices. And Light can adapt: when he has to make that decision, he can ensure it works for all of his plans. And Eevee itself mostly just seems cute and ineffectual, not a heavy hitter, so it's also a disguise.

I think L having a Psyduck would be funny as its perpetual confusion is oddball enough it'd fit with his aesthetic. It's also the opposite of Light: it's a terrible strategic choice, and what great detective would opt to do that?

-timydamonkey

[rionaleonhart]

Hey, it's good to see you! I was just thinking recently that I hadn't seen you around in a while.

Light going with Eevee for strategic reasons is an interesting thought! I like the idea that the Eevee eventually becomes an unplanned Umbreon, as that's one of the few things an Eevee can evolve into out of the trainer's control, and Light internally panics about it. The Dark evolution was the one he'd specifically decided against; it's obviously the most suspicious!

The idea of L with a Psyduck is delightful. It'd definitely fit his general 'who is this weird guy? surely not a professional detective' air.

[scytale]

Light's face just says, "I can't believe you left me tied up for an hour an dI am vowing REVENGE"

The internal monologue is beautiful. And Bulbasaur is cute!

[rionaleonhart]

Light's face just says, "I can't believe you left me tied up for an hour and I am vowing REVENGE"

It very much does, which means I'm in trouble, because we all know what revenge entails for Light Yagami. But it was worth it.

And Bulbasaur is cute!

The cutest! It's possible I'm displaying my own rationalisation skills by writing Light's internal monologue in such a way that he ends up with my favourite Pokémon.

[wyomingsmustache]

One of my favorite things to imagine in those Light and L internal monologue joke posts is Light and L just standing there staring intensely at each other for several minutes. I assume this is what the anime is like to watch and will not be watching it and having my fantasies disrupted.

[rionaleonhart]

This is genuinely exactly what the anime is like to watch.

[wyomingsmustache]

Oh boy !

[sushiflop]

I LOVE Pokemon AUs and I love the Light monologue regarding picking his starter 😭 speaking of absurd Death Note monologue spirals have you seen this? It came by on my dash and I thought of you instantly lmao.

[rionaleonhart]

To my genuine delight, you're the second person to send me that link. I've always wanted to be the sort of person everyone comes straight to when they see a Death Note/My Little Pony crossover. It's so good!

[sushiflop]

Good, I'm glad this is in your life! Ryuk spitting out "Applejack" with zero rationalization particularly kills me.