Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2026-01-31 01:18 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2026-01-31 01:18 pm
A Controlled Situation In Which I Am Prepared For Horniness.
My housemates read Educational Experiences, my 'the Cornley Drama Society have an orgy' Goes Wrong Show fic, in the wake of which we had an incredible discussion on the subject. The fic itself fades to black, but we had a lot of ideas about how disastrously a Cornley Drama Society orgy might actually play out, all of which delighted me!
Tem: They've left the door open, so Jonathan can get into the orgy itself, but can he get into anyone there? No.
Tem: Somehow, Sandra is still trying to give sultry looks to the audience, even during the orgy.
Riona: 'Sandra, who are you even looking at?'
Tem: Robert and Chris both keep trying to make themselves the main character of the orgy, which is not how orgies work. They keep trying to make it into a gangbang.
Riona: When Robert and Chris attempt to have sex with each other, it falls apart because they're both determined to top and neither of them will yield.
Tem: Robert and Chris keep getting distracted by giving directorial notes to the others. They'll suddenly stop and go 'What the hell are you doing over there, Dennis?'
Rei: Robert keeps trying to cover for everyone else's acting by loudly enjoying himself as much as possible. Just moaning louder and louder, and eventually Chris goes 'what the hell are you doing?' and Robert goes 'I'm literally covering your ass.'
Tem: Dennis somehow gets his penis stuck in one of those finger traps.
Riona: (cracks up) What is it even doing there?
Tem: He brought it because he thought it was a condom. Jonathan is trapped in the other end.
Tem: They have sex in a room with mirrors on the ceiling, because Robert insists that's the correct way to do it.
Riona: Oh, Sandra and Max would be so distracted.
Tem: They're so distracted. Constantly mugging to the mirror.
(later:)
Tem: Actually, they have Trevor build a room full of mirrors for the orgy, and he uses funhouse mirrors. Max has a great time making silly faces. Sandra would not enjoy the funhouse mirrors; she keeps trying to find an angle where her face looks normal. Robert and Chris have decided that whoever has the biggest dick gets to be the main character of the orgy, so they're trying to find the right angle to claim the title.
Riona: I love the idea of Trevor building their orgy room.
Tem: He doesn't want to be in the orgy itself, because he's not an actor, but he doesn't want to be completely left out, so they have him build the room. Or, as Robert and Chris insist on calling it, the set.
Tem: At one point Robert and Chris are both fucking other people and just trying to outdo each other, like that scene in 'The Lodge' where they're both trying to die more dramatically. Both trying to moan louder, thrust faster, come harder.
Riona: Holding constant eye contact with each other while banging other people.
Rei: Sandra eventually goes 'you know there's a maximum amount of pressure you can put on a clitoris, right?'
Tem: Or Sandra and Max don't even notice they're being fucked because they're so busy mugging to the mirrors.
Tem: Dennis eventually notices himself in the funhouse mirror, but he doesn't understand funhouse mirrors.
Riona: He just starts screaming.
Rei: He tries to run away, but he and Jonathan are still caught in the penis-finger trap, so he drags Jonathan along with him. They have to go to the hospital.
Rei: Robert thinks, for the orgy to be a true triumph, everyone has to last as long as possible, so he fills all the condoms with that numbing lube.
Riona: What numbing lube???
Rei: Oh, yeah, there's this lube you can get that's supposed to numb your penis and make you last longer. At the end, Chris goes up to the ambulance they had to call and goes 'I can't feel my penis; what's happening?'
Tem: I don't want the orgy to end with an ambulance.
Riona: I think it's inevitably going to end with an ambulance.
Rei: There are penises caught in a finger trap; it's going to end with an ambulance.
Tem: They just have to make their penises kiss, and they can escape the finger trap!
Ginger: That's what the 111 operator tells them when they call for help.
Tem: The 111 operator is actually Trevor, because he accidentally cut the phone lines while building the set.
Rei: Obviously this all ends when they fuck the set down.
(It's probably apparent from context, but 111 is a UK medical advice helpline! I considered replacing '111 operator' with something more universally clear, but nothing else was quite as funny to me as the original line.)
For something non-orgy-related, I saw a poll on Tumblr asking 'Would you give your blorbo a gentle kiss on the forehead?', and I'm surprised by how few people are saying no! (At the moment, with around 1,000 votes, it's at 92% yes to 8% no.)
As I noted in the tags of my reblog, I'm not sure a gentle forehead kiss would be received well by most of my blorbos. Squall would find it unbearably awkward. Light would hate it and, moreover, would not deserve it. Robert Grove would in theory be fine with a forehead kiss, but he would interpret the gentleness as weakness; he'd probably start trying to coach me on giving a more powerful and therefore objectively better forehead kiss. A proper forehead kiss should ideally knock your opponent to the floor. ('Wait, the person I'm kissing is my opponent?' Yes. The forehead kiss is a power struggle that you must win.)
Tem: They've left the door open, so Jonathan can get into the orgy itself, but can he get into anyone there? No.
Tem: Somehow, Sandra is still trying to give sultry looks to the audience, even during the orgy.
Riona: 'Sandra, who are you even looking at?'
Tem: Robert and Chris both keep trying to make themselves the main character of the orgy, which is not how orgies work. They keep trying to make it into a gangbang.
Riona: When Robert and Chris attempt to have sex with each other, it falls apart because they're both determined to top and neither of them will yield.
Tem: Robert and Chris keep getting distracted by giving directorial notes to the others. They'll suddenly stop and go 'What the hell are you doing over there, Dennis?'
Rei: Robert keeps trying to cover for everyone else's acting by loudly enjoying himself as much as possible. Just moaning louder and louder, and eventually Chris goes 'what the hell are you doing?' and Robert goes 'I'm literally covering your ass.'
Tem: Dennis somehow gets his penis stuck in one of those finger traps.
Riona: (cracks up) What is it even doing there?
Tem: He brought it because he thought it was a condom. Jonathan is trapped in the other end.
Tem: They have sex in a room with mirrors on the ceiling, because Robert insists that's the correct way to do it.
Riona: Oh, Sandra and Max would be so distracted.
Tem: They're so distracted. Constantly mugging to the mirror.
(later:)
Tem: Actually, they have Trevor build a room full of mirrors for the orgy, and he uses funhouse mirrors. Max has a great time making silly faces. Sandra would not enjoy the funhouse mirrors; she keeps trying to find an angle where her face looks normal. Robert and Chris have decided that whoever has the biggest dick gets to be the main character of the orgy, so they're trying to find the right angle to claim the title.
Riona: I love the idea of Trevor building their orgy room.
Tem: He doesn't want to be in the orgy itself, because he's not an actor, but he doesn't want to be completely left out, so they have him build the room. Or, as Robert and Chris insist on calling it, the set.
Tem: At one point Robert and Chris are both fucking other people and just trying to outdo each other, like that scene in 'The Lodge' where they're both trying to die more dramatically. Both trying to moan louder, thrust faster, come harder.
Riona: Holding constant eye contact with each other while banging other people.
Rei: Sandra eventually goes 'you know there's a maximum amount of pressure you can put on a clitoris, right?'
Tem: Or Sandra and Max don't even notice they're being fucked because they're so busy mugging to the mirrors.
Tem: Dennis eventually notices himself in the funhouse mirror, but he doesn't understand funhouse mirrors.
Riona: He just starts screaming.
Rei: He tries to run away, but he and Jonathan are still caught in the penis-finger trap, so he drags Jonathan along with him. They have to go to the hospital.
Rei: Robert thinks, for the orgy to be a true triumph, everyone has to last as long as possible, so he fills all the condoms with that numbing lube.
Riona: What numbing lube???
Rei: Oh, yeah, there's this lube you can get that's supposed to numb your penis and make you last longer. At the end, Chris goes up to the ambulance they had to call and goes 'I can't feel my penis; what's happening?'
Tem: I don't want the orgy to end with an ambulance.
Riona: I think it's inevitably going to end with an ambulance.
Rei: There are penises caught in a finger trap; it's going to end with an ambulance.
Tem: They just have to make their penises kiss, and they can escape the finger trap!
Ginger: That's what the 111 operator tells them when they call for help.
Tem: The 111 operator is actually Trevor, because he accidentally cut the phone lines while building the set.
Rei: Obviously this all ends when they fuck the set down.
(It's probably apparent from context, but 111 is a UK medical advice helpline! I considered replacing '111 operator' with something more universally clear, but nothing else was quite as funny to me as the original line.)
For something non-orgy-related, I saw a poll on Tumblr asking 'Would you give your blorbo a gentle kiss on the forehead?', and I'm surprised by how few people are saying no! (At the moment, with around 1,000 votes, it's at 92% yes to 8% no.)
As I noted in the tags of my reblog, I'm not sure a gentle forehead kiss would be received well by most of my blorbos. Squall would find it unbearably awkward. Light would hate it and, moreover, would not deserve it. Robert Grove would in theory be fine with a forehead kiss, but he would interpret the gentleness as weakness; he'd probably start trying to coach me on giving a more powerful and therefore objectively better forehead kiss. A proper forehead kiss should ideally knock your opponent to the floor. ('Wait, the person I'm kissing is my opponent?' Yes. The forehead kiss is a power struggle that you must win.)
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Aww, this is cute! But, yes, 'how would I feel about giving this character a forehead kiss?' is also a relevant consideration.
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