rionaleonhart | How Stupid Do You Think I Think You Are?

Richard Dawkins is such a bastard. I found myself becoming insanely angry barely a minute into The Enemies of Reason, and it only kept mounting. I am by no means a religious person, but he makes me wish I were a faith healer Creationist just so I wouldn't have to share any of my beliefs with him.

In other news, something that happened just now:

(RIONA is waiting for her rather misshapen attempt at brownies to cool in the kitchen. The younger of her brothers, FRED, walks in.)
FRED: Can I play your ukulele?
RIONA: (half-glances at him out of the corner of her eye) Yeah, all right.
(FRED whacks the ukulele against the table.)
RIONA: (YELPS)
RIONA: What--
'UKULELE': (is actually a piece of thin wood, carefully painted to look like RIONA's ukulele)
RIONA: ...
RIONA: ...
RIONA: That seems like a lot of trouble to go to in order to give me a heart attack.

In other other news, I, er, may sort of already have a few sentences of Alex/Jess scribbled down in one of my many notebooks. I cannot believe I'm writing The Real Hustle fanfiction. I'm usually able to resist for at least a month after a horribly inappropriate fanfic idea occurs to me! This one hasn't even taken three days!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...

The Rare Dog Scam.

(Are you sure? Jess is very pretty.)

Awwwww!

But they have ugly facial hair :(.

So far, that clip has taught me that, if I for some reason want to pick up girls, I need to bring an adorable dog with me. Top Gear has taught me that already!

Jess doesn't have ugly facial hair! And Alex only has it some of the time.

Some of the time is more than enough!

And Jess should tell them that clean-shaven people look more trustworthy.

RARELY. ALEX HAS UGLY FACIAL HAIR RARELY.

Have you watched the jewellery shop scam? Where they walk away from the shop with absolutely adorable one-armed hugging and hair-ruffling and ruin my life by making me go OMG ALEX/JESS/PAUL FOR EVER?

Yes, I have, and I have RESISTED the adorable OT3ness!

Nooooo! How can you possibly have resisted? TELL ME YOUR SECRETS SO I DO NOT HAVE TO WRITE THIS INSANE FIC.

(Also, the slap swindle. They're holding hands! If there's one thing the Doctor Who fandom has taught me, it's that that means that they are totally in love.)

Stop taking shipper advice from the demented Rose/Doctor fans!

...

...am I allowed to 'ship them because they're cute, then?

Cuteness is perfectly fine.

I mean, I've paired up Norrington/May on the basis that they worked well in my fanfic, for heaven's sake.

'On the basis that they worked well' is a completely sensible reason for pairing people up, Draco.

Have you enjoyed what you've seen of The Real Hustle? At all? More importantly, do you see the OT3ness? No? Blast.

There may very well be OT3ness, but for now I am seeing Jess/The slightly prettier one with the not-pretty one being grumpy about being left out.

Hee! I do think that Jess/Alex seems to be the most plausible combination so far, which is why the fanfic I'm writing only seems to be pairing up those two.

So far.

But hee, Paul being grumpy about being left out would be fun. Perhaps I should include that!

SEE YOU ARE BEING MY EVIL FIC-ENCOURAGER FOR THIS FANDOM ALREADY.

Hahaha!

Clearly, Paul needs to sulk in a bar with Missy and pick up a nice barmaid. "My two friends are off shagging each other, and all I have is this lousy dog." "But she's such a cutie, isn't she? Yes she is!"

You see, this is why I needed you to watch it! I'm so happy now!

I mean, um, YOU ARE EVIL FOR BEING AN EVIL FIC-PERSUADER AND I OBVIOUSLY DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.

"YOU ARE EVIL FOR BEING AN EVIL FIC-PERSUADER AND I OBVIOUSLY DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL."

You sound surprisingly insincere, madam.

Shh.

I'm not going to think about the Inevitable Top Gear Crossover yet, because I have to get to grips with writing the three of them on their own first. The trouble is that I have to actually think of hustles for them to perform, as, well, that's the logical thing to have them do in fanfiction. You know, apart from the sex.

Is it any different from thinking of lunatic things for the TG3 to do?

Well, yes. Because I am a lunatic, which makes Top Gear fanfiction easier, but thinking of good hustles is difficult for someone as scrupulously honest as me. Alas! (Especially as I've got a tiny bit surrounding the Alex/Jess snogging written, but they can't actually get to the snogging until they've pulled off a hustle.)

Wikipedia's article on scams! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scams). Including examples!

akjfshjhgkjghgjhgad thank you! You are awesome!

But evil. And I am not incredibly happy to have your help and encouragement for my ridiculous fanfic ideas, no not at all.

*twirls evil moustache*

If you see any clips that could be remotely construed to hint at Alex/Paul, please let me know! Because at the moment it's only really working in my head as a sort of amiable love triangle focused around Jess (that part is easy; everyone fancies Jess. I fancy Jess), and a trio would be more fun!

That was a more cunning way to drag me into The Real Hustle, I'll give you that :p

(no subject)

rionaleonhart - 2007-08-22 16:30 (UTC) - Expand

dracothelizard.livejournal.com - 2007-08-22 16:33 (UTC) - Expand

I'm confused as to your lack of inclusion of the dancing dolls scam (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=xqR4ajoi2eA). There's banter.

"It certainly isn't magic, and it doesn't do anything if you put these things in the fridge."

"Well, it makes them cold."

"..." "It'd make you cold, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah."

draegonhawke.livejournal.com - 2007-08-22 14:30 (UTC) - Expand

rionaleonhart - 2007-08-22 14:54 (UTC) - Expand

draegonhawke.livejournal.com - 2007-08-22 14:56 (UTC) - Expand

rionaleonhart - 2007-08-22 15:07 (UTC) - Expand

draegonhawke.livejournal.com - 2007-08-22 15:23 (UTC) - Expand

rionaleonhart - 2007-08-22 15:25 (UTC) - Expand

draegonhawke.livejournal.com - 2007-08-22 15:52 (UTC) - Expand