Trabia Garden

Okay, I have seen only two episodes, but Derren Brown's Trick or Treat is absolutely terrifying. I cannot believe there is a second series. The first I can understand, because people didn't know what they were letting themselves in for, but a second series means that people must have watched the first and thought, 'Yes! I want that! I want to be kidnapped and stranded in an unfamiliar country! I want to be abused in the street and made to think I am trapped in a box! This sounds exactly like my idea of a good time.'

Does this really sound like your idea of a good time, Trick or Treat applicants? Does it really?

I am also rather disturbed by Mr Brown's apparent willingness to offer his guests Mini Rolls containing delicious chocolate and cream and razor blades. I mean, I'm assuming there was some sort of trickery involved, and he didn't just stick the blade in one of them and hope, but I cannot see where this trickery can have come in. And he's breaking into people's houses in the middle of the night, and he's leaving people in enormous mental distress, and I feel he may have gone past 'so scary it's hot' and hit 'so scary it's really freaking scary'.

Not that I don't still find him hot.

I wish that, rather than just saying 'BY THE WAY THIS GUY WAS FINE AFTERWARDS OKAY' on the screen, the episodes would actually show the participant being fine afterwards. 'HE WAS GENUINELY PLEASED TO HAVE TAKEN PART, PLEASE ENJOY THE CREDITS AS WE PLAY THEM OVER FOOTAGE OF THIS POOR MAN SOBBING IN AN EMPTY THEATRE' is not, I have to say, entirely reassuring.

I tried to find clips from the ventriloquist's dummy episode, which was one of the most disturbing things I had ever seen, but alas I could not, so here is a clip of Derren Brown being rather charming on stage instead. He wants you to touch his goatee!

Also, Derren Brown paying for things in America with blank paper. I particularly enjoy 'Can I buy some of your sole?', and it's always fun when they show the attempts that don't work.


(I told a Real Life friend that I was alarmingly attracted to Derren Brown, and she thought I meant Dan Brown. I was horrified. It's like telling a friend you once stole a can of cat food and having her respond with 'YOU EAT KITTENS?')

In this entry, I whinge about Dan Brown. I have done this a couple of times before, but his writing is something about which I never tire of complaining. Just in case anyone genuinely wants to read Digital Fortress, there are no spoilers.

( GRARGH DIGITAL FORTRESS-RELATED RAGE )

Ah, that feels much better. Please note that I couldn't make it through the whole book because I feared I would catch fire if I got any angrier, so if Mr. Brown redeemed himself by having it turn out that Susan was actually a twit (and I mean genuinely intentionally a twit, not clearly-a-twit-but-flawless-in-the-author's-eyes) or Susan's Amazing Boyfriend was secretly Hitler, I missed it.

At the moment, I am alternating between reading Antony and Cleopatra (good) and Point Blanc by Anthony Horowitz (not so good). I began reading it out of mild curiosity after my brother expressed his undying hatred for all things Alex Rider, and so far, although I haven't read that much of it, I've already learnt several things.

( All That Anthony Horowitz Novels Have Taught Me. )

...‘SHUT UP, DAN BROWN’ probably wasn’t the originally-intended conclusion for this poking-fun-at-Anthony-Horowitz, but I think it’s a rather good conclusion nonetheless.

Anyway! I would very much have liked to add a scan of what is by far my favourite card out of the hundreds that have been created in my many games of 1000 Blank White Cards, but alas the scanner hates me and refuses to scan it in. It was created by my disgruntled younger brother – I must have forbidden him to do something or other in the game, because the title is ‘RULE BITCH’, the picture is of me wagging my finger petulantly and saying ‘THAT’S NOT RULEFUL’, and the text is ‘Take as many cards from the discard pile as you can without letting Harriet see’. I adore it. I want to frame it and put it up on my wall. ‘THAT’S NOT RULEFUL.’ Hee hee hee!