Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2008-04-21 03:27 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2008-04-21 03:27 pm
And She Had A Fiery Sword That She Couldn't Put Down.
IT IS TIME TO SHARE EMBARRASSING OLD FANFICTION. I shall start us off by quoting a few paragraphs from the Final Fantasy X self-insertion I wrote a few chapters of between the ages of thirteen and fourteen. Please join in by sharing your own shame-inducing fanfiction in the comments, because otherwise I'm just going to hide in a corner for ever.
THE STORY SO FAR: Riona, who has an embarrassingly large crush on Tidus (ACTUAL QUOTE: She hit the ‘New Game’ button, and watched as the opening scene played out. She grinned to herself at the close-up of Tidus on the cliff. Wow, he was a bishounen (bolding of appalling fangirl Japanese-use mine)), has just woken up in Zanarkand at the beginning of Final Fantasy X, having been ~mysteriously transported~ into the game. Her reaction to this is essentially 'I've been sucked into the videogame I was playing? How peculiar. OH MAN I'D BETTER WARNDREAMY TIDUS ABOUT SIN.' (Come to think of it, I never did learn to write realistic reactions to clearly absurd events. But I like to think I'm at least a little better than 'Huh, I'm in Zanarkand. Wonder how that happened. Well, as I'm here, better go and warn a fictional character about the upcoming fictional disaster.')
Below the cut, you may see Riona's exceedingly smooth attempt at telling Tidus what is about to happen. I have made no changes to it, much though I'd like to.
There he was, signing some kid’s Blitzball. I skidded to a halt in front of him. “Tidus! Zanarkand, it...”
“Huh?” he asked, handing the Blitzball back to the kid and turning to face me.
“I...” I paused, confused. “I can’t remember anything...”
He looked at me, concerned. “You okay?”
“Uh...” I mumbled, “I think so. I’m sure there was something important I had to tell you...”
Tidus grinned, and I almost melted. He was so cute... “Can’t have been more important than the Blitzball game, could it?”
“No,” I admitted. “I guess not. Name’s Riona, and...” I paused. I had a dim feeling that I shouldn’t go telling people about my real-life. All I could remember about the game was Tidus’ name, the crush I had on him, and Blitzball. And the fact that everyone seemed to be able to breathe underwater.
Could I breathe underwater? Spotting a fountain, I ran to it and rammed my head under the water, forcing myself – though my mind resisted fiercely – to breathe in. It was fine – just like air, in fact. I smiled to myself and pulled my head out. Turning around, I saw Tidus looking like he was trying not to laugh.
“Riona, huh? Nice to meet ya.” I felt myself blushing – in the middle of speaking to my hero, I’d gone and shoved my head in a fountain. Not the smartest-looking thing to do. I started stuttering.
“Uh... sorry. I, erm, needed to cool down. Can I... erm...” I picked up a stray Blitzball. “Can I have your autograph?” I blurted.
Tidus took the ball and signed it, still shaking with silent laughter. He handed it back, then grinned at everyone there. “Okay, I’ve gotta go now. Cheer for me!” He began running down the path, and one firm idea popped spontaneously into my head: follow him.
SMOOTH. What worries me is that I can actually see myself behaving like this today.
(This is by no means the worst thing in my fanfiction folder - it's not even the worst part of this fic; later on you'll find the line 'Agony beyond anything I have ever felt!' used completely seriously, exclamation mark and all - but it's the worst I can actually bring myself to show you. WHY THE CRUSH ON TIDUS, SERIOUSLY.)
THE STORY SO FAR: Riona, who has an embarrassingly large crush on Tidus (ACTUAL QUOTE: She hit the ‘New Game’ button, and watched as the opening scene played out. She grinned to herself at the close-up of Tidus on the cliff. Wow, he was a bishounen (bolding of appalling fangirl Japanese-use mine)), has just woken up in Zanarkand at the beginning of Final Fantasy X, having been ~mysteriously transported~ into the game. Her reaction to this is essentially 'I've been sucked into the videogame I was playing? How peculiar. OH MAN I'D BETTER WARN
Below the cut, you may see Riona's exceedingly smooth attempt at telling Tidus what is about to happen. I have made no changes to it, much though I'd like to.
There he was, signing some kid’s Blitzball. I skidded to a halt in front of him. “Tidus! Zanarkand, it...”
“Huh?” he asked, handing the Blitzball back to the kid and turning to face me.
“I...” I paused, confused. “I can’t remember anything...”
He looked at me, concerned. “You okay?”
“Uh...” I mumbled, “I think so. I’m sure there was something important I had to tell you...”
Tidus grinned, and I almost melted. He was so cute... “Can’t have been more important than the Blitzball game, could it?”
“No,” I admitted. “I guess not. Name’s Riona, and...” I paused. I had a dim feeling that I shouldn’t go telling people about my real-life. All I could remember about the game was Tidus’ name, the crush I had on him, and Blitzball. And the fact that everyone seemed to be able to breathe underwater.
Could I breathe underwater? Spotting a fountain, I ran to it and rammed my head under the water, forcing myself – though my mind resisted fiercely – to breathe in. It was fine – just like air, in fact. I smiled to myself and pulled my head out. Turning around, I saw Tidus looking like he was trying not to laugh.
“Riona, huh? Nice to meet ya.” I felt myself blushing – in the middle of speaking to my hero, I’d gone and shoved my head in a fountain. Not the smartest-looking thing to do. I started stuttering.
“Uh... sorry. I, erm, needed to cool down. Can I... erm...” I picked up a stray Blitzball. “Can I have your autograph?” I blurted.
Tidus took the ball and signed it, still shaking with silent laughter. He handed it back, then grinned at everyone there. “Okay, I’ve gotta go now. Cheer for me!” He began running down the path, and one firm idea popped spontaneously into my head: follow him.
SMOOTH. What worries me is that I can actually see myself behaving like this today.
(This is by no means the worst thing in my fanfiction folder - it's not even the worst part of this fic; later on you'll find the line 'Agony beyond anything I have ever felt!' used completely seriously, exclamation mark and all - but it's the worst I can actually bring myself to show you. WHY THE CRUSH ON TIDUS, SERIOUSLY.)
no subject
So instead you get... some... hideous Pokemon thing that was presumably a self-insert. I think I was... "Kris." Oh god.
Misty jumped up angrily and glared at the person she had bumped into. “Watch where you’re go-” she was struck dumb as she finally got a good look at the silent girl standing in front of her. Frayed blue shorts, yellow sleeveless vest, scuffy sneakers, purple knapsack slung casually, almost carelessly, over one shoulder. Completely normal attire for any traveler on the road. What scared Misty was the girl’s face. She’d seen it before… where? She looked at the twin pigtails of bright red hair, back at the face, and blanched. She’d seen that face the last time she’d looked in a mirror. She hadn’t seen a mirror in almost two months, so it wasn’t very surprising she had missed the resemblance at first, but it was definitely there. There were differences- Misty’s own green eyes were replaced by a smoky blue, and the features were softer, less defined, giving the girl an almost childlike appearance.
Misty shrieked and stumbled backwards. The girl continued to stand, unmoving, staring at her in what Misty decided was a very unnerving fashion. “You look like me.” The girl’s voice was so soft that Misty almost thought that she hadn’t spoken at all. Misty just moved her jaw up and down, for once in her life at a loss for words. Before she could gather her thoughts and reply, the sound of running footsteps pounded down the path and another girl jogged into view behind the first. Slightly taller, with long auburn hair in a high ponytail, she wore a pale green tank and tan Capri’s, and a yellow mini backpack pounded against her back as she ran. “Kris!” she cried as she reached the first girl. “What are you doing?”
‘Kris’ didn’t reply, or even remove her gaze from Misty. The new arrival seemed unaware of Misty’s presence, so she coughed politely. The auburn head whipped sharply toward her, but then she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, looking wildly from Misty to Kris and then back to Misty again. Misty was actually somewhat reassured by this display, as the first girl’s silent stare had seriously disturbed her.
2-parter ARG
“………..” finished Sam, running her fingers through her long auburn hair. “Pretty neat story, huh? I wonder if there are any more on the walls of these old ruins.”
“That was awesome! Wouldn’t it be cool if we were those two girls from the legend?” came a perky voice from somewhere below. Sam turned around to find herself face-to-face with a pair of sneakers.
“Kris!” she snapped at the upside-down girl they were attached to. “What are you doing?”
“Handstand,” came the matter-of-fact reply.
“I can see that,” Sam growled impatiently at her friend. “I meant why?”
“’Cause it’s fun?”
Sam gave an exasperated sigh, but she couldn’t help but grin at her friend’s antics. “Come on, you nutcase,” she laughed, moving towards the door. “We still have a long way to go if we want to make it to Cherrygrove by nightfall.”
The redhead grunted, by made no move to comply.
“Come on,” Sam repeated.
There was a pause before Kris answered meekly, “I can’t.”
“What? Why not?”
Kris gave a sheepish grin, “I’m stuck.”
Sam slapped a hand to her forehead. “Oh boy. Okay, just do as I say. Bend your knees and bring your legs down one at a time.”
There was a loud thud as Kris hit the ground in a heap. “Ow…” she moaned.
“Come on,” Sam said as she grasped Kris’s hand and pulled her up. “Honestly, what would you do without me?”
“Probably save myself from a whole lot of bodily harm,” Kris muttered darkly, rubbing her sore back. She grabbed her purple knapsack off the floor and raced out the door after Sam.
“Wait up!”
THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE. THANK THE LORD. PLEASE REJOICE.
in this folder of "old gawdawful crap" there is also, apparently, Sailor Moon fic, a modern Zelda AU, and a Golden Sun/FFX script-format recasting crossover--I AM SO GLAD I NEVER FINISHED THESEAlso I am terrified of rereading Raw Horizon, but to criticize that would be to criticize YOUR tastes, and I suppose I can't fault it when it allowed me to meet such a wonderful person as you. Besides, I'm sure your tastes have rather improved in four years, because that's what peoples' tastes do, so if you tell me that you would never in a million years go near the stuff you read back then, I will not be offended in the least. ^^;
Re: 2-parter ARG
Nessie found a SEKRIT TUNNEL in his SWIMMING POOL (having been adopted by a kindly rich old man in the first book) and follows into into a cave where he DOES VIOLENT AND BLOODY BATTLE with a great SEA MONSTER. Who was just sitting in the cave and not bothering anyone until Nessie showed up. WTF Nessie.Also I am sure that if I had seen Ferngully in my childhood like I had always wanted to, the above icon would have been my first slash pairing.