Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2005-10-30 01:09 am
rionaleonhart) wrote2005-10-30 01:09 am
He Ran Off To The City, And Wandered About In The Street
Write a list of twelve characters, numbered one to twelve. Then answer these questions. Do NOT check behind the cut until you've written your own list! Unless you're absolutely certain that you're never going to do this meme, or if you've done it already - in which case, check away!
Spoilers for Final Fantasy X. If I knew how, I'd highlight the offending answers in black and stick a brightly-coloured 'assless freak' in there somewhere. Unfortunately, however, I do not.
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven (Captain Jack Harkness/Phineas Nigellus) fic? Do you want to?
...no I have not, but I SO want to. Seriously. I was thinking that he would have to go back in time to his non-portrait years, but if they investigated Grimmauld Place and found his portrait, and Phineas was all outraged at the intrusion and then there were seventy-two pages of sexually-charged snarky banter...
...well, it would obviously be the BEST HYPOTHETICAL FIC EVER.
2. Do you think Four (Rinoa Heartilly) is hot? How hot?
She's good-looking. I wouldn't say 'hot'.
3. What would happen if Twelve (Seifer Almasy) got Eight (Rose Tyler) pregnant?
...then, er, that would be extremely odd. I really don't think that Seifer would get on well with Rose - she'd probably hate his arrogance. If he did get her pregnant somehow (again an odd thought - I can't see Rose consenting, but I can't see Seifer being a rapist, and I'm thinking WAY TOO HARD ABOUT THIS SILLY QUESTION THING), then there'd probably be a load of angst about having to leave the TARDIS and ending her Wacky Time-Travelling Adventures and suchlike. I can't imagine Seifer being prepared to raise the child. Possibly Jack would help her through the early stages, but I think he'd get pretty bored hanging around in one place.
Basically, if Rose gets pregnant by anyone (other than Mickey, in which case she'd be upset at leaving the TARDIS but at least he'll never leave her), she's screwed (no pun intended). Then again, I have no idea what her stance on abortion would be.
Also, what were the chances of it actually being a female getting pregnant, eh?
4. Can you rec any fics about Nine (Zell)?
I should have put the Ninth Doctor there instead, shouldn't I? I automatically think of him whenever I see 'Nine'. Anyway, I have a bunch of fics that I'd love to rec about Zell, but I cannot because Baco has taken them down. And that makes me sad.
Well, there are still excellent Zell fanfics out there, even if some of the best are missing. Take a look at Another Path to your Destiny, by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kadrin; Darkside by draegonhawke (WHO SHOULD TOTALLY FINISH THE COMMENTARY FOR IT. AND ALSO LINK ME TO SAID COMMENTARY, BECAUSE I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED THE URL); and Rescue by the Book by tenshi_no_korin. You could check out the rest of the stuff on bishonenink if you have the time and the inclination, although quite a bit of it involves pretty young men having lots of sex, so if you're not interested in that you may want to steer clear.
5. Would Two (Vincent Valentine) and Six (Captain Jack Harkness) make a good couple?
Anyone and Six would make a good couple.
Actually, I'm not so sure on this one. Vincent doesn't seem enormously seduceable. If Jack worked hard enough, I suppose he might be able to get there in the end, but it'd probably take a very long time indeed, and Vincent would probably transform into Chaos and claw him to pieces during sex. Nobody wants that.
6. Five/Nine (Pyramid Head/Zell) or Five/Ten (Pyramid Head/Auron)? Why?
Hmm. I really, really wouldn't wish Five on anyone. Auron would work better aesthetically, 'cause of all the red, and his being in Silent Hill would make more sense. I honestly cannot imagine an encounter between Zell and Pyramid Head. What the hell would happen?
...unless we're talking Quistis-as-Pyramid Head. In which case... nope, still incredibly weird.
7. What would happen if Seven (the Ninth Doctor) walked in on Two (Vincent Valentine) and Twelve (Seifer Almasy) having sex?
Er. He doesn't know these people. He'd probably either leave, or wait politely for them to finish so he could ask them a question. Incidentally, Vincent and Seifer are quite astonishingly incompatible. Is this part of Vincent's penance, perchance?
8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Squall Leonhart/Auron) fic.
He's a cold mercenary who cares about very little and says 'Whatever' too much! He's a dead guardian keeping a promise for a man who is now a giant flying whale! They fight crime!
9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight (James Sunderland/Rose Tyler) fluff?
Erm, nothing involving James Sunderland could possibly be fluffy. Also, they're from different fandoms, and as far as I know I'm the only person who's ever crossed over the two. I'm going to say 'no'. NO WAIT I WILL WRITE IT.
James clung to her, half-laughing, half-sobbing. "I didn't think you'd be here. I - you died. I've been missing you so much -"
Rose blinked. "Er, this might be a bit awkward, but are you confusing me with someone else?"
James stared at her for a long time. AND THEN HE WENT 'BLAAAAAAAAARGH' AND JUMPED OUT OF A WINDOW.
You see? It just can't be fluffy. He sucks all the fluff out of everything and into this weird vortex of angst and insanity.
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Ninth Doctor/Seifer Almasy) hurt/comfort fic.
Ninth Doctor/Seifer Almasy? Well, I can't picture Seifer doing much comforting, so he'll be the one getting hurt. The title would be: And That's How You Repay Me?
11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Rinoa Heartilly) to deflower One (James Sunderland)?
...Er, okay. This would have to be pre-marriage-to-Mary, obviously. Rinoa and James... I guess I'd use Time Compression and a lot of alcohol.
12. Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Ninth Doctor) slash?
Some of them write it. I've written it. Captain Jack Harkness is his travelling companion. The answer, I think, is yes.
13. Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Squall Leonhart) het?
Indeed they do! I can't think of anything interesting to say here! I will use multiple exclamation marks in the hope that it will make this sound more exciting and enthusiastic!
14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Phineas Nigellus)?
Nobody writes for Phineas Nigellus. I really wish they would, because he's by far my favourite character in the Harry Potter series. If anyone knows of any fanworks involving him, point me?
15. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five (Vincent Valentine/Rinoa Heartilly/Pyramid Head)?
...er,kadrin might, if I asked very nicely indeed. But just looking at that combination is making my brain melt. I'm not sure I'd be able to survive an entire fic.
16. What might Ten (Auron) scream at a moment of great passion?
"Where is the sense in all this? Braska believed in Yevon's teachings and died for them! Jecht believed in Braska and gave his life for him!"
If you meant sexual passion, I can't image a particularly passionate Auron and therefore Auron either doesn't experience sexual passion or doesn't scream when he does. MOST CONVENIENT.
(I originally thought that this referred to Zell, which would be much easier. 'OHHHH YEEEEEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" With the multiple exclamation points, because that's what Zell does.)
17. If you wrote a songfic about Eight (Rose Tyler), which song would you choose?
The Ballad of Barry Allen. In which she is the 'you' referred to (and you say the time goes rushing by/it seems so slow to me/and you see it blurry 'round you fly/but it takes so long/seems so slow). And most of the fic would focus on the Doctor, although I wouldn't have meant it to.
I don't like songfics much. It makes sense that they wouldn't like me and would go off in all the wrong directions.
18. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve (James Sunderland/Captain Jack Harkness/Seifer Almasy) fic, what would the warnings be?
WARNINGS: Slash, threesome, insanity, angst, angst, angst, LOTS OF ANGST, more insanity. There should probably be a 'lots of sex', as it involves Jack and two other characters, but I'm not one for writing sex. Maybe 'implied sex'. Lots of implied sex. More angst. DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DROP JAMES INTO ANYTHING?
19. What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Vincent Valentine) to use on Ten (Auron)?
Vincent wouldn't care for using pick-up lines, and Auron wouldn't be receptive to them. BEST PAIRING EVER. Tragically, they would never speak a word to each other. For some reason I picture them both visiting the same bar at the same time for years, drinking in synchronisation right next to each other, looking remarkably similar and red-clad, and yet never speaking. Possibly they would develop telepathy. But then they wouldn't use it.
Basically, Vincent's best bet (and the thing he would be most likely to do) would be to sit there being quiet and brooding, and then if he's lucky maybe Auron will come over and be cryptic at him, and then they'll save the world. Save it with THE POWER OF BROODINESS AND FLOWING RED GARMENTS.
20. When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Pyramid Head)?
Er, that was probably when I was re-readingthebaconfat's Incredibly Vague Pyramid Head/James Sunderland drabble, written for kadrin before he actually played the game and therefore avoiding spoilers Most Cautiously. Yesterday, maybe, or the day before. I've been reading through kadrin's old LJ entries (which is something I would advise everyone to do at least once a year, because he is A GENIUS), and he linked to it.
It may, however, have beenkadrin's drabble from a drabble-for-each-one-of-your-icons meme. This was also written before he actually played the game. You can read it here. It contains no Silent Hill 2 spoilers whatsoever.
21. What is Six's (Captain Jack Harkness') super-sekrit kink?
...Captain Jack does not keep his kinks a secret how do I answer this?
Er, he secretly likes good old-fashioned regular missionary sex, and he wishes that for once his partners would stop insisting on all these adventurous positions.
22. Would Eleven (Phineas Nigellus) shag Nine (Zell Dincht)? Drunk or sober?
Okay, Phineas Nigellus is a portrait and therefore that would be kind of physically impossible.
Even if we're talking about pre-portrait Phineas, no. Just no. He's got a lot of dignity and values it very highly. Zell... erm, Zell is Zell.
23. If Three (Squall Leonhart) and Seven (Ninth Doctor) get together, who tops?
They never have sex. Their relationship is entirely intellectual. They discuss questions of good and evil. Sometimes. Usually Squall just says '...whatever', and stalks off. The question of sex never comes up. Sometimes Jack suggests it teasingly, but then Squall just stares daggers at him until he laughs, shrugs and goes off to find Irvine.
24. 'One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three.' What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Okay, I'm going to write that summary out with the names so you can appreciate just how bizarre this actually is.
James Sunderland and Zell Dincht are in a happy relationship until Zell suddenly runs off with Rinoa Heartilly. James, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Phineas Nigellus and a brief unhappy affair with Seifer Almasy, then follows the wise advice of Pyramid Head and finds true love with Squall Leonhart.
Right.
Nobody should write it. If someone did,draegonhawke, thebaconfat, squeemu and pretty much everyone who's familiar with both Silent Hill 2 and Final Fantasy VIII would read it out of morbid curiosity. I certainly would. I mean, how can you pass over a fic that has James following the wise advice of Pyramid Head regarding his love life?
25. How would you feel if Seven/Eight (Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler) were canon?
...er, it practically is, which unfortunately makes the answer to the last question a little boring. But, er, yay! Doctor/Rose! For once, a pairing from these questions that isn't completely bizarre!
Spoilers for Final Fantasy X. If I knew how, I'd highlight the offending answers in black and stick a brightly-coloured 'assless freak' in there somewhere. Unfortunately, however, I do not.
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven (Captain Jack Harkness/Phineas Nigellus) fic? Do you want to?
...no I have not, but I SO want to. Seriously. I was thinking that he would have to go back in time to his non-portrait years, but if they investigated Grimmauld Place and found his portrait, and Phineas was all outraged at the intrusion and then there were seventy-two pages of sexually-charged snarky banter...
...well, it would obviously be the BEST HYPOTHETICAL FIC EVER.
2. Do you think Four (Rinoa Heartilly) is hot? How hot?
She's good-looking. I wouldn't say 'hot'.
3. What would happen if Twelve (Seifer Almasy) got Eight (Rose Tyler) pregnant?
...then, er, that would be extremely odd. I really don't think that Seifer would get on well with Rose - she'd probably hate his arrogance. If he did get her pregnant somehow (again an odd thought - I can't see Rose consenting, but I can't see Seifer being a rapist, and I'm thinking WAY TOO HARD ABOUT THIS SILLY QUESTION THING), then there'd probably be a load of angst about having to leave the TARDIS and ending her Wacky Time-Travelling Adventures and suchlike. I can't imagine Seifer being prepared to raise the child. Possibly Jack would help her through the early stages, but I think he'd get pretty bored hanging around in one place.
Basically, if Rose gets pregnant by anyone (other than Mickey, in which case she'd be upset at leaving the TARDIS but at least he'll never leave her), she's screwed (no pun intended). Then again, I have no idea what her stance on abortion would be.
Also, what were the chances of it actually being a female getting pregnant, eh?
4. Can you rec any fics about Nine (Zell)?
I should have put the Ninth Doctor there instead, shouldn't I? I automatically think of him whenever I see 'Nine'. Anyway, I have a bunch of fics that I'd love to rec about Zell, but I cannot because Baco has taken them down. And that makes me sad.
Well, there are still excellent Zell fanfics out there, even if some of the best are missing. Take a look at Another Path to your Destiny, by
kadrin; Darkside by draegonhawke (WHO SHOULD TOTALLY FINISH THE COMMENTARY FOR IT. AND ALSO LINK ME TO SAID COMMENTARY, BECAUSE I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED THE URL); and Rescue by the Book by tenshi_no_korin. You could check out the rest of the stuff on bishonenink if you have the time and the inclination, although quite a bit of it involves pretty young men having lots of sex, so if you're not interested in that you may want to steer clear.5. Would Two (Vincent Valentine) and Six (Captain Jack Harkness) make a good couple?
Anyone and Six would make a good couple.
Actually, I'm not so sure on this one. Vincent doesn't seem enormously seduceable. If Jack worked hard enough, I suppose he might be able to get there in the end, but it'd probably take a very long time indeed, and Vincent would probably transform into Chaos and claw him to pieces during sex. Nobody wants that.
6. Five/Nine (Pyramid Head/Zell) or Five/Ten (Pyramid Head/Auron)? Why?
Hmm. I really, really wouldn't wish Five on anyone. Auron would work better aesthetically, 'cause of all the red, and his being in Silent Hill would make more sense. I honestly cannot imagine an encounter between Zell and Pyramid Head. What the hell would happen?
...unless we're talking Quistis-as-Pyramid Head. In which case... nope, still incredibly weird.
7. What would happen if Seven (the Ninth Doctor) walked in on Two (Vincent Valentine) and Twelve (Seifer Almasy) having sex?
Er. He doesn't know these people. He'd probably either leave, or wait politely for them to finish so he could ask them a question. Incidentally, Vincent and Seifer are quite astonishingly incompatible. Is this part of Vincent's penance, perchance?
8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Squall Leonhart/Auron) fic.
He's a cold mercenary who cares about very little and says 'Whatever' too much! He's a dead guardian keeping a promise for a man who is now a giant flying whale! They fight crime!
9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight (James Sunderland/Rose Tyler) fluff?
Erm, nothing involving James Sunderland could possibly be fluffy. Also, they're from different fandoms, and as far as I know I'm the only person who's ever crossed over the two. I'm going to say 'no'. NO WAIT I WILL WRITE IT.
James clung to her, half-laughing, half-sobbing. "I didn't think you'd be here. I - you died. I've been missing you so much -"
Rose blinked. "Er, this might be a bit awkward, but are you confusing me with someone else?"
James stared at her for a long time. AND THEN HE WENT 'BLAAAAAAAAARGH' AND JUMPED OUT OF A WINDOW.
You see? It just can't be fluffy. He sucks all the fluff out of everything and into this weird vortex of angst and insanity.
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Ninth Doctor/Seifer Almasy) hurt/comfort fic.
Ninth Doctor/Seifer Almasy? Well, I can't picture Seifer doing much comforting, so he'll be the one getting hurt. The title would be: And That's How You Repay Me?
11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Rinoa Heartilly) to deflower One (James Sunderland)?
...Er, okay. This would have to be pre-marriage-to-Mary, obviously. Rinoa and James... I guess I'd use Time Compression and a lot of alcohol.
12. Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Ninth Doctor) slash?
Some of them write it. I've written it. Captain Jack Harkness is his travelling companion. The answer, I think, is yes.
13. Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Squall Leonhart) het?
Indeed they do! I can't think of anything interesting to say here! I will use multiple exclamation marks in the hope that it will make this sound more exciting and enthusiastic!
14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Phineas Nigellus)?
Nobody writes for Phineas Nigellus. I really wish they would, because he's by far my favourite character in the Harry Potter series. If anyone knows of any fanworks involving him, point me?
15. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five (Vincent Valentine/Rinoa Heartilly/Pyramid Head)?
...er,
kadrin might, if I asked very nicely indeed. But just looking at that combination is making my brain melt. I'm not sure I'd be able to survive an entire fic.16. What might Ten (Auron) scream at a moment of great passion?
"Where is the sense in all this? Braska believed in Yevon's teachings and died for them! Jecht believed in Braska and gave his life for him!"
If you meant sexual passion, I can't image a particularly passionate Auron and therefore Auron either doesn't experience sexual passion or doesn't scream when he does. MOST CONVENIENT.
(I originally thought that this referred to Zell, which would be much easier. 'OHHHH YEEEEEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" With the multiple exclamation points, because that's what Zell does.)
17. If you wrote a songfic about Eight (Rose Tyler), which song would you choose?
The Ballad of Barry Allen. In which she is the 'you' referred to (and you say the time goes rushing by/it seems so slow to me/and you see it blurry 'round you fly/but it takes so long/seems so slow). And most of the fic would focus on the Doctor, although I wouldn't have meant it to.
I don't like songfics much. It makes sense that they wouldn't like me and would go off in all the wrong directions.
18. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve (James Sunderland/Captain Jack Harkness/Seifer Almasy) fic, what would the warnings be?
WARNINGS: Slash, threesome, insanity, angst, angst, angst, LOTS OF ANGST, more insanity. There should probably be a 'lots of sex', as it involves Jack and two other characters, but I'm not one for writing sex. Maybe 'implied sex'. Lots of implied sex. More angst. DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DROP JAMES INTO ANYTHING?
19. What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Vincent Valentine) to use on Ten (Auron)?
Vincent wouldn't care for using pick-up lines, and Auron wouldn't be receptive to them. BEST PAIRING EVER. Tragically, they would never speak a word to each other. For some reason I picture them both visiting the same bar at the same time for years, drinking in synchronisation right next to each other, looking remarkably similar and red-clad, and yet never speaking. Possibly they would develop telepathy. But then they wouldn't use it.
Basically, Vincent's best bet (and the thing he would be most likely to do) would be to sit there being quiet and brooding, and then if he's lucky maybe Auron will come over and be cryptic at him, and then they'll save the world. Save it with THE POWER OF BROODINESS AND FLOWING RED GARMENTS.
20. When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Pyramid Head)?
Er, that was probably when I was re-reading
thebaconfat's Incredibly Vague Pyramid Head/James Sunderland drabble, written for kadrin before he actually played the game and therefore avoiding spoilers Most Cautiously. Yesterday, maybe, or the day before. I've been reading through kadrin's old LJ entries (which is something I would advise everyone to do at least once a year, because he is A GENIUS), and he linked to it.It may, however, have been
kadrin's drabble from a drabble-for-each-one-of-your-icons meme. This was also written before he actually played the game. You can read it here. It contains no Silent Hill 2 spoilers whatsoever.21. What is Six's (Captain Jack Harkness') super-sekrit kink?
...Captain Jack does not keep his kinks a secret how do I answer this?
Er, he secretly likes good old-fashioned regular missionary sex, and he wishes that for once his partners would stop insisting on all these adventurous positions.
22. Would Eleven (Phineas Nigellus) shag Nine (Zell Dincht)? Drunk or sober?
Okay, Phineas Nigellus is a portrait and therefore that would be kind of physically impossible.
Even if we're talking about pre-portrait Phineas, no. Just no. He's got a lot of dignity and values it very highly. Zell... erm, Zell is Zell.
23. If Three (Squall Leonhart) and Seven (Ninth Doctor) get together, who tops?
They never have sex. Their relationship is entirely intellectual. They discuss questions of good and evil. Sometimes. Usually Squall just says '...whatever', and stalks off. The question of sex never comes up. Sometimes Jack suggests it teasingly, but then Squall just stares daggers at him until he laughs, shrugs and goes off to find Irvine.
24. 'One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three.' What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Okay, I'm going to write that summary out with the names so you can appreciate just how bizarre this actually is.
James Sunderland and Zell Dincht are in a happy relationship until Zell suddenly runs off with Rinoa Heartilly. James, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Phineas Nigellus and a brief unhappy affair with Seifer Almasy, then follows the wise advice of Pyramid Head and finds true love with Squall Leonhart.
Right.
Nobody should write it. If someone did,
draegonhawke, thebaconfat, squeemu and pretty much everyone who's familiar with both Silent Hill 2 and Final Fantasy VIII would read it out of morbid curiosity. I certainly would. I mean, how can you pass over a fic that has James following the wise advice of Pyramid Head regarding his love life?25. How would you feel if Seven/Eight (Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler) were canon?
...er, it practically is, which unfortunately makes the answer to the last question a little boring. But, er, yay! Doctor/Rose! For once, a pairing from these questions that isn't completely bizarre!
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Cid didn't go away.
Zell hadn't attended the funeral. How could he? But he had seen the grave, and before that he had seen with his own eyes--it didn't matter.
Once his voice came over the intercom while he was still in solitary. He had jumped, and screamed, and three SeeDs had rushed to his bedside to hold him down. Siobhan got word of it the next day, and came in with her too-calm eyes and her unreadable mien and insisted that nothing had happened. (Liar. Liar. Liar.)
Cid never went away.
Once Zell saw him at the entry to the Infirmary, until he had turned to face him. In an instant he was supplanted--he flashed into another man, some Facalty member with an accusing face. But he had been Cid a moment before.
It made it worse that Cid was never vengeful. He was frightened, usually. Or confused. One horrible night he had come in and sat down on the edge of Zell's bed and told him that everything was all right. He was a good kid. Really.
(Liar.)
One day a dark thick fog rolled in over Balamb. "Freak weater occurence," they called it. It reminded him of fog on Esthar Bay. It reminded him of the fog of his own mind. The walls closed in around him.
There was a shadow at his doorway, and he couldn't look. Cid was standing in the darkness.
"Go away," he whispered.
There were footsteps that sounded like tortured metal and rusted gears. He went cold as he felt something loom over him. He didn't look up--but was held in a canopy of deep shadow, metal stained like blood above him.
Two hands clamped over his ears.
yoU, no one and nothing said, sHOuldn'T be AllOwed To LIVE for WhAt YOU'vE DoNe.
Cid's eyes, in the darkness, watching.
It all went black.
...HA.
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HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THESE THINGS?
You are fantastic. You are fantastic.
(...also, how many Silent Hill and Final Fantasy VIII crossovers do we have now? And thanks for the spoiler code!)
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It gives me a -8 penalty on Will saves, but I roll criticals on 1-3 and 14-20 instead of just 1 and 20.
(I don't know. But the number is certainly growing.)
...
(Anonymous) 2005-10-30 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)Re: ...
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<div style="color:#000; background-color:#000;">Spoilers go here. See them spoilering in their spoilerish ways! Ohh, aren't they clever little spoilers, to hide in a spoilertext box. Oh no! An <span style="color:#66F;">assless freak</span>!!! We now return you to your regularly-scheduled spoilers. </div>
Copy, paste, and edit as is your wont!
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XD if I had had to answer that question I would have sat in my chair and pondered until I got an answer I could settle with. You're not the only one.
He's a cold mercenary who cares about very little and says 'Whatever' too much! He's a dead guardian keeping a promise for a man who is now a giant flying whale! They fight crime!
OH SO MUCH EX DEE.
James stared at her for a long time. AND THEN HE WENT 'BLAAAAAAAAARGH' AND JUMPED OUT OF A WINDOW.
...is it wrong that I laughed so hard when I read that? (still laughing...)
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DROP JAMES INTO ANYTHING?
XD still laughing.
For some reason I picture them both visiting the same bar at the same time for years, drinking in synchronisation right next to each other, looking remarkably similar and red-clad, and yet never speaking. Possibly they would develop telepathy. But then they wouldn't use it.
I can totally picture that, and that last line is so very true. ^^;;
You are teh cool. XD This was so fun to read. Snarky comments win at life.
Oh, and about "Nobody writes for Phineas Nigellus. I really wish they would, because he's by far my favourite character in the Harry Potter series. If anyone knows of any fanworks involving him, point me?" that, This is the best I could do. here (http://beth-h.mrks.org/HP_Fiction/SecondChances.html) you (http://www.hp-lexicon.org/wizards/blacktree.html) go. (http://avarice.pentimenti.org/nigellus/) (the first one is utter crack though, and isn't Phineas centered)
I...
(Anonymous) 2005-10-30 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)"James clung to her, half-laughing, half-sobbing. "I didn't think you'd be here. I - you died. I've been missing you so much -"
Rose blinked. "Er, this might be a bit awkward, but are you confusing me with someone else?"
James stared at her for a long time. AND THEN HE WENT 'BLAAAAAAAAARGH' AND JUMPED OUT OF A WINDOW."
I can't believe you wrote that, and I can't believe I can imagine that.
I have a weirdly scarily strong urge to write something for question 11. I can't believe how much I can see this happening, either. And as soon as I read question 15, I started wanting to write that, too, because I had ideas for it immediately, and it would so work, and argh. Wow.
"'OHHHH YEEEEEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" With the multiple exclamation points, because that's what Zell does."
XP
Question 19? Wargh. Non-verbal relationship. They would completely have sex, but not say a word ever. I think Vincent really would make the first move, though.
"The question of sex never comes up. Sometimes Jack suggests it teasingly, but then Squall just stares daggers at him until he laughs, shrugs and goes off to find Irvine."
*laughs to death*
Anyhow, I'll just leave now. You rule, and I love your writing.
Re: I...
You should definitely write the Rinoa/James thing, because I'm actually really curious as to how it would work. The Vincent/Rinoa/Pyramid Head... well, I'm really curious about that as well, but I'm pretty sure that this is the cat-killing kind of curiosity and it would probably be better for everyone if that fic never existed.
Having said that, SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE IT ANYWAY.
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This post is making me laugh even though the only characters I'm familiar with are the Doctor Who ones.
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And thank you! Most of the characters I ramble about are from random videogames, which I play more than I probably should.
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ROFL!
Possibly they would develop telepathy. But then they wouldn't use it.
LMAO!! You are brilliant.
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James was happy because there was someone coming out of the sewer with light hair, and his legs couldn't take him to the mysterious figure fast enough. "Mary!" he yelled, and launched into a flying tackle that nearly sent them both careening back into the sewer.
"Oomph," said Zell. "Hey! ...this isn't Deling City!"
"Oh," said James, feeing rather silly and a mite despondent upon noticing that the object of his enthusiasm was not in fact his ex-wife but rather a shortish, well-muscled lad young enough to be his son had he been somewhat more precocious than was his wont. "You aren't Mary."
"Mary?" Zell asked. "I think I knew a Mary back at Garden?"
"A garden?" James demanded. "Where? Was it that freaky one with the skeletal hands and the koi pond of unspeakable evils?"
"Uh," Zell began.
James took both of his hands, very, very solemnly. "You can help me find Mary," he said. "It's been so long."
"Oh, hey!" Zell caught sight of something moving in the fog. "Is that Rinoa? I think it is! Sorrygottago seeya!" And with that he bolted away.
"Darn," remarked James, and wandered into the nearest abandoned building he could find.
There was a portrait hanging on the wall, and he studied it for a few moments. Four of the last five pictures he had found had been the solution to what he could only describe as a Rubix Cube designed by the lovechild of Escher and Dali, but the fifth had spat acid on him and called him a Frenchman, so he wasn't quite sure what to do with this one.
"Well," the portrait said. "Don't you look absolutely wretched."
"I'm feelin' mighty low," James admitted.
"Well, don't just stand there. Do something useful. I don't know; remove your sorry family from the gene pool or something."
"Can I tell you all of my troubles?" James asked.
"I'd rather you didn't," said the portrait.
"Thanks for listening," James said. "See, I came to this city looking for my wife. Her name is Mary...."
"I always get the whiny ones," the portrait muttered.
James spent quite a while talking to the portrait, utterly oblivious to the occasional exhortations that mostly boiled down to "Shut up. God, why can't I turn you into something distasteful?"
Eventually James noticed that the sun had set. And come up. And his throat was getting rather dry, and he had run out of health drinks, so he excused himself and wandered back into the street while the portrait called down every curse it could think of on his family line.
As he was walking down the street he caught sight of another light-haired person, rather taller than the boy he had run into earlier, and barreled down the road, arms extended. "My god! Mary!"
He caught a brief glance of a scarred and rather masculine face as the figure turned around, and two hours later he woke up in the middle of the street with a vague impression of knuckles and a mild concussion.
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James leveled a finger at it. "You! Stay away from me! From all of us!"
PH lowered the tsuketate and wrote in broad stripes across the pavement: if YoU REAlLY wAnt to fInd MArY, yOu SHoUld juSt GIVE Up. But YOu dON'T sEeM To haVe tHE MEntAl caPaCIty, sO MAyBe you ShouLd TalK TO tHe MaN AT THe eNd oF thE STrEeT. HiS NamE IS--
"Mary's at the end of the street! Cool!" And James ran off.
--SquAlL, Pyramid Head finished. GOdDAmN IT.
Squall was poking at something with the tip of his gunblade when James ran up. The thing at his feet was grey and scraggly and looked somewhat diseased.
"Mary!" James yelled, because when he had no idea what something was, he liked to give it the benefit of the doubt.
"It's not Mary," Squall said.
"Oh." James walked up and nudged it with a toe. "What is it?"
Squall wore a pensive look. "...I think it's true love."
James regarded it very carefully. It looked a bit more leprous than true love was supposed to. "True love is an ugly thing, isn't it?"
"I think it's allergic."
"To what? The bitter wind of reality that sunders us all from our belovéds?" James liked the word sunder. He had looked it up once when he was in grade school and tried to find poems with it in them. That had been during his romantic years, before he realized that there was no way to make "Sunderland" sound romantic in a poem. At best it was depressing and at worst just plain stupid.
Squall poked it again. "I dunno. Something in the water?"
James rubbed the back of his neck, which was slick with condensed fog. "...oh. I get it."
There was an uncomfortable silence, moreso for James than for Squall.
"So, maybe if we took it out of the town, it'd perk back up again?"
"I think it's pretty dead."
"Oh."
"Entirely dead."
"Well."
"Dead like your wife."
"Of course!" James said, grabbed it from the ground, stuffed it into one pocket (to lie brokenly on top of a key, a bottle opener, and three gold teeth), and made a beeline for the edge of the city.
Squall watched him go with some exasperation. Pyramid Head drew up behind him, giant tsuketate dripping red. NiCE enOuGh Man, he wrote. a fEW bOnEs SHoRt of A sKelETon, tHOUgh.
"Hm," Squall agreed. "...poker?"
i'LL FetcH tHE Dog, Pyramid Head wrote.
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Well, I was cracking up through the entire thing, and when Zell went 'Is that Rinoa?' my first thought was: ...is she writing that one? No. No, she wouldn't.
BUT THEN YOU DID.
AND IT WAS FANTASTIC AND HILARIOUS AND REALLY REALLY WEIRD.
I have discovered that The Key to getting fanfiction written is to mention it on LiveJournal, say either that it's impossible or that it should never be done for the sake of humanity, and wait for magi to write it. Hoorah!
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So, um, happy Halloween! Or something!
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James Sunderland: master of survival-horror logic and terrible decisions.