Riona (
rionaleonhart) wrote2008-09-14 10:31 am
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Aragorn As Portrayed By Brian Blessed.
More of the character-number questions! As before, fandoms are Supernatural, High School Musical, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy XII, Prison Break, Doctor Who, Scrubs, House, Silent Hill, Top Gear, Life on Mars, Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes.
bubbles_san:
JD and Cameron have a map to an uncharted island inhabited by zombies. JD wants to go to the island to hunt for treasure but Cameron (who has the only boat) doesn't. What happens? Do they argue for ages until they've forgotten about what they were arguing about? Does Cameron eventually break down and take JD to the island? If so, is there treasure and do they get eaten by zombies?
Ahahaha, that is exactly like JD. I think Cameron would be pretty firm about it, because she'd know how difficult it would be to contain a zombification outbreak once it got off the island. JD, I imagine, would steal the boat and go in search of treasure anyway, and Cameron would try to find a way to follow him to keep him from getting himself killed. JD is highly, highly likely to wander straight into the rotting arms of a zombie in a daydream, so his chances of survival probably aren't terribly high. Cameron is a little more sensible, so she might manage to get away. The treasure, if any exists, remains unfound.
Sharpay, Dr Cox, and Captain Jack Harkness are on the internet together and discover topgearslash. They then decide to join and write fic for it. What kind of fic do they write?
Captain Jack Harkness writes sex. Lots and lots of banter-filled sex. Sharpay writes thinly-veiled Mary Sue fanfiction in which Richard Hammond falls deeply in love with her; when the community comments that uh, hey, this isn't really the place for that, she goes through it to change all the feminine pronouns to masculine ones but fails to make changes to anything else, resulting in sentences like 'He was the hottest girl Richard had ever seen, with curves in all the right places'. Dr Cox writes fanfiction in which JD goes off to fangirl Jeremy Clarkson for a change, leaving him blissfully alone.
Dean Winchester has a cold. Who takes care of him, Balthier or Gene Hunt?
GENE HUNT DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR UNMANLY SNIFFLING. Balthier takes him in for a couple of days; he's reluctant, but abandoning Dean would be ungentlemanly. Dean's feeling too ill to really take in where he is at first, but then he wakes up and realises he is on a - he doesn't know what the hell it is, it's not really a plane, but it's up in the sky and people shouldn't be in the sky and he completely freaks out, rather to Balthier's amusement.
Scofield and Zell are in a relationship BUT Zell is secretly a zombie. How does Scofield find out and subsequently react?
Scofield finds out when Zell enthusiastically backflips to greet him one day and his arm falls off. Zell gets very upset, because oh, man, he's sorry, he meant to tell Michael about it, really he did, but it just never seemed like the right time and he really likes the guy and he didn't want to screw this up by freaking him out with the, you know, whole accidental necrophilia thing. Scofield is civil after the initial shock, but he explains that he doesn't feel he can really carry on the relationship because, you know, accidental necrophilia.
Sam Winchester, Jeremy Clarkson, and the Janitor are in a race. Who wins, who cheats, and who never even makes it to the finish line?
Sam pulls out ahead at the beginning easily, but Clarkson has hidden a Lotus in the bushes. As he roars past, Sam stops for a moment and stares, unable to believe that anyone would cheat so flagrantly. There's still no sign of the Janitor. Sam eventually recovers from the shock and runs on.
When Sam reaches the finish line, the Janitor is already there, completely inexplicably. The Lotus, however, is not. Clarkson became bored of the race and decided to drive all over the country instead.
Pyramid Head gets attacked by a giant squid while visiting Phineas Nigellus. Who comes to its rescue, James Sunderland or T-Bag?
Okay, first of all: Phineas Nigellus is lucky. Thank you, Giant Squid, for attempting to protect Hogwarts from the terror that is Pyramid Head.
Secondly, Pyramid Head terrified Sunderland out of his wits and tried to kill him multiple times. Pyramid Head and T-Bag, on the other hand, could easily be evil best friends for ever, assuming Pyramid Head doesn't try to kill T-Bag for everything he's done (Pyramid Head latches on to guilt in my personal canon, and I'm not sure T-Bag feels guilty enough to call its wrath down upon him). On the other other hand (I AM A FREAK OF NATURE), T-Bag seems to be pretty into self-preservation, and neither engaging a possibly-magical giant squid in combat nor coming within any distance of Pyramid Head are terribly self-preserving actions. Therefore, nobody comes to Pyramid Head's rescue. It probably doesn't need help, anyway. Goodbye, Giant Squid. Your bravery shall not be forgotten.
The Master wants a date with Seifer, who is too busy trying to gain the affections of Selphie. Selphie, on the other hand, is too distracted with taking care of her current love interest, Sherlock Holmes, who is sick. What methods of wooing do the Master and Seifer employ? What ailment does Holmes suffer from? How does Selphie go about healing him?
I imagine Seifer goes about attempting to woo Selphie by being a git about other people in front of her, rather than being a git directly to her. Oh, Seifer. You're not much good at this, are you?
The Master starts out by being generally charming, but when he is frustrated in his efforts he resorts to the tried-and-true 'go out with me or I'll murder your friends' method. Seifer is furious, obviously, but he can't endanger Raijin and Fujin, so he agrees through gritted teeth. (I accidentally typed 'gritten' there. Gritten teeth! 'Gritten' actually makes quite a bit of sense and now I am sort of saddened by the fact that it is not a real word.) The Master, just to amuse himself, pushes an unsigned note under Selphie's door inviting her to come to the Garden's 'secret area' that night, takes Seifer on their forced date there, waits for Selphie to appear and then kisses Seifer thoroughly in front of her.
Because the Master is a git. (Also, I am weirdly taken with the idea of Seifer/Selphie. It's a pairing that has never occurred to me before - I don't think I've even seen it in fanfiction - but I think it could be sort of wonderful.)
Holmes is suffering from something incredibly rare and difficult to diagnose (maybe it's a disease nobody would expect to see because everyone is vaccinated against it in the present day), so Selphie takes him to Princeton-Plainsboro and tries to get House to diagnose him. Just because Holmes/House crossovers are awesome.
littlemoose:
T-Bag, Selphie and Seifer form a band, what's it called, what kind of music, and how long before the huge fight and subsequent break-up? (I just noticed there's a similar one already, but sod it, MOAR music ;))
I imagine the huge fight and break-up occurs when T-Bag is incredibly sleazy towards Selphie and/or tries to assault her, so I'm not sure the band is going to last long enough to play anything. Of course, Selphie can fight back. Oh, man, can you imagine? A tiny girl beating the crap out of T-Bag with nunchaku. It would be priceless.
Selphie wants to play something upbeat! Seifer wants to play some angry angry rock! T-Bag just wants to manipulate and kill his bandmates! They compromise by singing very angry lyrics to incredibly upbeat tunes. Their band is called something confusing, like 'Exploding Geezards'.
Actually, I don't think I can answer a question involving Selphie and Seifer in a band without quoting from
kadrin's amazing Princes of Misanthropy, in which the titular Princes of Misanthropy are a band comprising Seifer (FFVIII), Saionji (Utena) and Spike (Buffy), whilst Selphie plays (and sings, and tap-dances) in a band called Me and My Rocket Launcher:
Before Selphie could deliver her affirming, ever-happy answer, a loud thump came from the room next to them, as of a human body thrown into a wall at great speed.
"Who's in there?" Shiori asked, frowning at the wall.
"Princes of Misanthropy," Yuffie replied, with great certainty. She'd already been in there and stolen their towels.
"Figures," Shiori replied, turning back to her book.
"Why did you want them to open for us before, anyway, Sefie?" Harmony asked, laying out her drumsticks very carefully.
"I just think what they're doing is really great!" Selphie enthused. "I think it's really great that Seifer's working out his energy through music, instead of through blowing up my home town again!"
Amazing!
In the film of Cameron's life, Sam Winchester is playing Cameron. What do both parties make of this, and which other number's playing the love interest?
Cameron is rather perplexed by the fact that she is being played by a man. At first she is a little annoyed, but that gives way to amusement, and when she meets Sam she finds that she likes him enormously. (Actually, if Cameron had to be played by a man, Sam would be pretty much the ideal candidate.) As for love interests: Jeremy Clarkson probably plays House, because he's the Houseishest character on there. No, wait, Sherlock Holmes plays House! Of course! JD plays Chase.
Balthier is revealed to be the author under pseudonym of a successful series of books for pre-school children - the series' name, and subject matter, please :D
The series is called 'Honour and Sky Pirating for Absolute Beginners', and goodness knows how the series became successful, because the target audience can't understand a word. The books teach, through a series of parables, how to pilot an airship, how to overcome barriers of race, and the difference between being a thief and being a respectable person who just happens to steal things. They are probably eventually banned.
Captain Jack Harkness, the Master, Scofield and Clarkson are sitting round a table having breakfast in a cheerful 50's style diner (plastic gingham tablecloth NOT optional). What do they order, what's the converstaion like, and is there any flirting?
Okay, Captain Jack Harkness is there. There is a lot of flirting, unless the Master being present kills the mood for him (perhaps the Master has regenerated and is hiding his identity?). Aimed mainly at Scofield, I would imagine. Scofield is suspicious, because men who flirt with him have rarely been good news.
If Jack knows who the Master is, I imagine the conversation is largely him trying to communicate to Scofield and Clarkson without saying it outright that they really, really want to get away from here as fast as possible. If not, Jack chats amiably to Scofield about being imprisoned and hey maybe sex? whilst the Master quietly persuades Clarkson that it would be in his best interests to help the Master take over the world.
...they order, er, food? 'What a character would be most likely to order in a fifties-style diner' is not an area of characterisation in which I am terribly confident.
gulliblesnail:
What is Zell's secret embarrassing guilty pleasure and how does the Janitor react upon the discovery of this information?
Zell likes to kickbox whilst singing Exploding Geezards songs at the top of his lungs in front of a mirror. The Janitor, on discovering this, sets a hidden camera up in Zell's room and broadcasts the footage all over Garden. Zell has no idea why he does this. He's never offended the Janitor! What - what - why?
What sort of style would result from the Master cutting Selphie's hair? (Or I suppose they might not have hair, in which case, what would be the results of a forced overall makeover?)
Fear not; hair is present! ...and, er. Yes, I can totally imagine the Master taking a day off from his busy schedule of evil to cut a teenage girl's hair. What worries me is that I am actually not being sarcastic when I say this.
The result would probably involve poisonous hairspray. It would not end well for anyone.
sacred_sarcasm:
Pyramid Head and T-Bag are supposed to be in relationships with the Master and Seifer, but are instead having an affair. Clarkson finds out about the affair and threatens to expose them. What happens next?
Pyramid Head and T-Bag immediately kill him to death and continue on their merry way. (I have to admit that I wouldn't want to get caught cheating on the Master, but seriously, it's Pyramid Head. What's the Master going to do about it? Unless the Master is actually in control of Pyramid Head, which is not as unlikely as one would like. But then why would Pyramid Head be cheating on him?)
strangeumbrella:
JD buys Dr Cox a birthday present. What does he get?
Wow, a plausible scenario! JD buys him a singing stethoscope, as Dr Cox's old stethoscope has gone missing. It has a bright yellow smiley face on it and plays 'If You're Happy and You Know It' in Dr Cox's ears at random intervals while he is examining patients. Dr Cox hates it with all of his soul.
Pyramid Head makes Seifer cry. How?
...by being freaking Pyramid Head. You'd cry if an impossibly strong faceless being were slowly walking towards you with a gigantic knife, too.
shizuka_blooms:
While on a tour bus in South America, the numbers are captured by an outlandish tribe that demands all their clothing - even the clothes they're wearing. Refusal means DEATH. Who immediately strips? Who completely loses it and attacks the nearest member of the tribe? Who runs away as soon as someone's head is turned?
Jack Harkness, of course, immediately strips (was there any doubt?). There's a fair chance he's stripped off before they're even captured. Jeremy Clarkson tries to sneak away stealthily, but as he is three miles tall and possesses no grace whatsoever it does not go terribly well. Gene Hunt punches the nearest tribe member in the face, and the tribe advance with instruments of death-dealing at the ready, but then they catch sight of Pyramid Head and run away very fast.
ilovedoyle:
If Sharpay and Pyramid Head rented a movie, what would they rent?
...okay, the mental image of Sharpay and Pyramid Head being best friends for ever is absolutely terrifying. Although not quite as terrifying as the Pyramid Head/T-Bag combination everyone seems to be hitting on for some reason.
Okay. Sharpay wants to watch some brightly-coloured teen film, possibly a musical. POSSIBLY EVEN A HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL (oh, dear, there goes the fourth wall). Pyramid Head wants to watch film noir, something full of moral ambiguity. Sharpay is used to getting her own way, but Pyramid Head's the one with the knife, so they compromise by hiring... er, film noir (I DO NOT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THIS GENRE TO SPECIFY), pausing it at intervals and having Sharpay break into a song-and-dance seqence about the events of the film.
Dean Winchester, Seifer Almasy, the Janitor - marry, shag, cliff?
Okay, there's no way I'm going to be able to stand Seifer or the Janitor for prolonged periods of time, so I'm marrying Dean. I - I don't really want to kick Seifer or the Janitor over a cliff, but Seifer seems to have a chance of redemption, and he's younger, and the Janitor appears to have dedicated his life largely to making people miserable, so, although the Janitor is an amazing and brilliant and hilarious character and sometimes weirdly adorable, I think I'm going to have to cliff him. Sorry, Janitor. So I suppose I'm shagging Seifer.
EDIT: ...bloody hell, I can't do it. I can't kill the Janitor. I can't. He's not a bad person! I honestly believe that the Janitor likes JD, in some weird weird way. And he's so adorable around Elliot.
I THINK I'M ON THE VERGE OF TALKING MYSELF INTO MARRYING HIM.
WHOOPS, THERE GOES THE VERGE. Marry the Janitor, shag Dean, cliff Seifer. SORRY, SEIFER.
I'm probably going to revise this again before long, aren't I?
averysmallthing:
Michael Scofield and Sam Winchester play a competitive pairs sport until it is discovered that Sam is allergic to Scofield's skin flakes. They must find new partners, but who, and why? And, of course, what competitive sport?
Well, the obvious answer would be that Scofield partners up with Lincoln and Sam partners up with Dean. I was going to say 'BUT THAT'S TOO OBVIOUS' and partner them up with other people, but, er, seriously, there aren't many other options for Sam. And Scofield's only other options are Sucre or Sara. FREAKING BROTHERS WHO ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER. I don't mean it, guys; you know I love you.
I'm going to say that the sport is figure skating, just because the mental image makes me laugh so freaking hard.
One more instalment to go!
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JD and Cameron have a map to an uncharted island inhabited by zombies. JD wants to go to the island to hunt for treasure but Cameron (who has the only boat) doesn't. What happens? Do they argue for ages until they've forgotten about what they were arguing about? Does Cameron eventually break down and take JD to the island? If so, is there treasure and do they get eaten by zombies?
Ahahaha, that is exactly like JD. I think Cameron would be pretty firm about it, because she'd know how difficult it would be to contain a zombification outbreak once it got off the island. JD, I imagine, would steal the boat and go in search of treasure anyway, and Cameron would try to find a way to follow him to keep him from getting himself killed. JD is highly, highly likely to wander straight into the rotting arms of a zombie in a daydream, so his chances of survival probably aren't terribly high. Cameron is a little more sensible, so she might manage to get away. The treasure, if any exists, remains unfound.
Sharpay, Dr Cox, and Captain Jack Harkness are on the internet together and discover topgearslash. They then decide to join and write fic for it. What kind of fic do they write?
Captain Jack Harkness writes sex. Lots and lots of banter-filled sex. Sharpay writes thinly-veiled Mary Sue fanfiction in which Richard Hammond falls deeply in love with her; when the community comments that uh, hey, this isn't really the place for that, she goes through it to change all the feminine pronouns to masculine ones but fails to make changes to anything else, resulting in sentences like 'He was the hottest girl Richard had ever seen, with curves in all the right places'. Dr Cox writes fanfiction in which JD goes off to fangirl Jeremy Clarkson for a change, leaving him blissfully alone.
Dean Winchester has a cold. Who takes care of him, Balthier or Gene Hunt?
GENE HUNT DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR UNMANLY SNIFFLING. Balthier takes him in for a couple of days; he's reluctant, but abandoning Dean would be ungentlemanly. Dean's feeling too ill to really take in where he is at first, but then he wakes up and realises he is on a - he doesn't know what the hell it is, it's not really a plane, but it's up in the sky and people shouldn't be in the sky and he completely freaks out, rather to Balthier's amusement.
Scofield and Zell are in a relationship BUT Zell is secretly a zombie. How does Scofield find out and subsequently react?
Scofield finds out when Zell enthusiastically backflips to greet him one day and his arm falls off. Zell gets very upset, because oh, man, he's sorry, he meant to tell Michael about it, really he did, but it just never seemed like the right time and he really likes the guy and he didn't want to screw this up by freaking him out with the, you know, whole accidental necrophilia thing. Scofield is civil after the initial shock, but he explains that he doesn't feel he can really carry on the relationship because, you know, accidental necrophilia.
Sam Winchester, Jeremy Clarkson, and the Janitor are in a race. Who wins, who cheats, and who never even makes it to the finish line?
Sam pulls out ahead at the beginning easily, but Clarkson has hidden a Lotus in the bushes. As he roars past, Sam stops for a moment and stares, unable to believe that anyone would cheat so flagrantly. There's still no sign of the Janitor. Sam eventually recovers from the shock and runs on.
When Sam reaches the finish line, the Janitor is already there, completely inexplicably. The Lotus, however, is not. Clarkson became bored of the race and decided to drive all over the country instead.
Pyramid Head gets attacked by a giant squid while visiting Phineas Nigellus. Who comes to its rescue, James Sunderland or T-Bag?
Okay, first of all: Phineas Nigellus is lucky. Thank you, Giant Squid, for attempting to protect Hogwarts from the terror that is Pyramid Head.
Secondly, Pyramid Head terrified Sunderland out of his wits and tried to kill him multiple times. Pyramid Head and T-Bag, on the other hand, could easily be evil best friends for ever, assuming Pyramid Head doesn't try to kill T-Bag for everything he's done (Pyramid Head latches on to guilt in my personal canon, and I'm not sure T-Bag feels guilty enough to call its wrath down upon him). On the other other hand (I AM A FREAK OF NATURE), T-Bag seems to be pretty into self-preservation, and neither engaging a possibly-magical giant squid in combat nor coming within any distance of Pyramid Head are terribly self-preserving actions. Therefore, nobody comes to Pyramid Head's rescue. It probably doesn't need help, anyway. Goodbye, Giant Squid. Your bravery shall not be forgotten.
The Master wants a date with Seifer, who is too busy trying to gain the affections of Selphie. Selphie, on the other hand, is too distracted with taking care of her current love interest, Sherlock Holmes, who is sick. What methods of wooing do the Master and Seifer employ? What ailment does Holmes suffer from? How does Selphie go about healing him?
I imagine Seifer goes about attempting to woo Selphie by being a git about other people in front of her, rather than being a git directly to her. Oh, Seifer. You're not much good at this, are you?
The Master starts out by being generally charming, but when he is frustrated in his efforts he resorts to the tried-and-true 'go out with me or I'll murder your friends' method. Seifer is furious, obviously, but he can't endanger Raijin and Fujin, so he agrees through gritted teeth. (I accidentally typed 'gritten' there. Gritten teeth! 'Gritten' actually makes quite a bit of sense and now I am sort of saddened by the fact that it is not a real word.) The Master, just to amuse himself, pushes an unsigned note under Selphie's door inviting her to come to the Garden's 'secret area' that night, takes Seifer on their forced date there, waits for Selphie to appear and then kisses Seifer thoroughly in front of her.
Because the Master is a git. (Also, I am weirdly taken with the idea of Seifer/Selphie. It's a pairing that has never occurred to me before - I don't think I've even seen it in fanfiction - but I think it could be sort of wonderful.)
Holmes is suffering from something incredibly rare and difficult to diagnose (maybe it's a disease nobody would expect to see because everyone is vaccinated against it in the present day), so Selphie takes him to Princeton-Plainsboro and tries to get House to diagnose him. Just because Holmes/House crossovers are awesome.
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T-Bag, Selphie and Seifer form a band, what's it called, what kind of music, and how long before the huge fight and subsequent break-up? (I just noticed there's a similar one already, but sod it, MOAR music ;))
I imagine the huge fight and break-up occurs when T-Bag is incredibly sleazy towards Selphie and/or tries to assault her, so I'm not sure the band is going to last long enough to play anything. Of course, Selphie can fight back. Oh, man, can you imagine? A tiny girl beating the crap out of T-Bag with nunchaku. It would be priceless.
Selphie wants to play something upbeat! Seifer wants to play some angry angry rock! T-Bag just wants to manipulate and kill his bandmates! They compromise by singing very angry lyrics to incredibly upbeat tunes. Their band is called something confusing, like 'Exploding Geezards'.
Actually, I don't think I can answer a question involving Selphie and Seifer in a band without quoting from
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Before Selphie could deliver her affirming, ever-happy answer, a loud thump came from the room next to them, as of a human body thrown into a wall at great speed.
"Who's in there?" Shiori asked, frowning at the wall.
"Princes of Misanthropy," Yuffie replied, with great certainty. She'd already been in there and stolen their towels.
"Figures," Shiori replied, turning back to her book.
"Why did you want them to open for us before, anyway, Sefie?" Harmony asked, laying out her drumsticks very carefully.
"I just think what they're doing is really great!" Selphie enthused. "I think it's really great that Seifer's working out his energy through music, instead of through blowing up my home town again!"
Amazing!
In the film of Cameron's life, Sam Winchester is playing Cameron. What do both parties make of this, and which other number's playing the love interest?
Cameron is rather perplexed by the fact that she is being played by a man. At first she is a little annoyed, but that gives way to amusement, and when she meets Sam she finds that she likes him enormously. (Actually, if Cameron had to be played by a man, Sam would be pretty much the ideal candidate.) As for love interests: Jeremy Clarkson probably plays House, because he's the Houseishest character on there. No, wait, Sherlock Holmes plays House! Of course! JD plays Chase.
Balthier is revealed to be the author under pseudonym of a successful series of books for pre-school children - the series' name, and subject matter, please :D
The series is called 'Honour and Sky Pirating for Absolute Beginners', and goodness knows how the series became successful, because the target audience can't understand a word. The books teach, through a series of parables, how to pilot an airship, how to overcome barriers of race, and the difference between being a thief and being a respectable person who just happens to steal things. They are probably eventually banned.
Captain Jack Harkness, the Master, Scofield and Clarkson are sitting round a table having breakfast in a cheerful 50's style diner (plastic gingham tablecloth NOT optional). What do they order, what's the converstaion like, and is there any flirting?
Okay, Captain Jack Harkness is there. There is a lot of flirting, unless the Master being present kills the mood for him (perhaps the Master has regenerated and is hiding his identity?). Aimed mainly at Scofield, I would imagine. Scofield is suspicious, because men who flirt with him have rarely been good news.
If Jack knows who the Master is, I imagine the conversation is largely him trying to communicate to Scofield and Clarkson without saying it outright that they really, really want to get away from here as fast as possible. If not, Jack chats amiably to Scofield about being imprisoned and hey maybe sex? whilst the Master quietly persuades Clarkson that it would be in his best interests to help the Master take over the world.
...they order, er, food? 'What a character would be most likely to order in a fifties-style diner' is not an area of characterisation in which I am terribly confident.
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What is Zell's secret embarrassing guilty pleasure and how does the Janitor react upon the discovery of this information?
Zell likes to kickbox whilst singing Exploding Geezards songs at the top of his lungs in front of a mirror. The Janitor, on discovering this, sets a hidden camera up in Zell's room and broadcasts the footage all over Garden. Zell has no idea why he does this. He's never offended the Janitor! What - what - why?
What sort of style would result from the Master cutting Selphie's hair? (Or I suppose they might not have hair, in which case, what would be the results of a forced overall makeover?)
Fear not; hair is present! ...and, er. Yes, I can totally imagine the Master taking a day off from his busy schedule of evil to cut a teenage girl's hair. What worries me is that I am actually not being sarcastic when I say this.
The result would probably involve poisonous hairspray. It would not end well for anyone.
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Pyramid Head and T-Bag are supposed to be in relationships with the Master and Seifer, but are instead having an affair. Clarkson finds out about the affair and threatens to expose them. What happens next?
Pyramid Head and T-Bag immediately kill him to death and continue on their merry way. (I have to admit that I wouldn't want to get caught cheating on the Master, but seriously, it's Pyramid Head. What's the Master going to do about it? Unless the Master is actually in control of Pyramid Head, which is not as unlikely as one would like. But then why would Pyramid Head be cheating on him?)
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
JD buys Dr Cox a birthday present. What does he get?
Wow, a plausible scenario! JD buys him a singing stethoscope, as Dr Cox's old stethoscope has gone missing. It has a bright yellow smiley face on it and plays 'If You're Happy and You Know It' in Dr Cox's ears at random intervals while he is examining patients. Dr Cox hates it with all of his soul.
Pyramid Head makes Seifer cry. How?
...by being freaking Pyramid Head. You'd cry if an impossibly strong faceless being were slowly walking towards you with a gigantic knife, too.
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
While on a tour bus in South America, the numbers are captured by an outlandish tribe that demands all their clothing - even the clothes they're wearing. Refusal means DEATH. Who immediately strips? Who completely loses it and attacks the nearest member of the tribe? Who runs away as soon as someone's head is turned?
Jack Harkness, of course, immediately strips (was there any doubt?). There's a fair chance he's stripped off before they're even captured. Jeremy Clarkson tries to sneak away stealthily, but as he is three miles tall and possesses no grace whatsoever it does not go terribly well. Gene Hunt punches the nearest tribe member in the face, and the tribe advance with instruments of death-dealing at the ready, but then they catch sight of Pyramid Head and run away very fast.
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
If Sharpay and Pyramid Head rented a movie, what would they rent?
...okay, the mental image of Sharpay and Pyramid Head being best friends for ever is absolutely terrifying. Although not quite as terrifying as the Pyramid Head/T-Bag combination everyone seems to be hitting on for some reason.
Okay. Sharpay wants to watch some brightly-coloured teen film, possibly a musical. POSSIBLY EVEN A HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL (oh, dear, there goes the fourth wall). Pyramid Head wants to watch film noir, something full of moral ambiguity. Sharpay is used to getting her own way, but Pyramid Head's the one with the knife, so they compromise by hiring... er, film noir (I DO NOT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THIS GENRE TO SPECIFY), pausing it at intervals and having Sharpay break into a song-and-dance seqence about the events of the film.
Dean Winchester, Seifer Almasy, the Janitor - marry, shag, cliff?
Okay, there's no way I'm going to be able to stand Seifer or the Janitor for prolonged periods of time, so I'm marrying Dean. I - I don't really want to kick Seifer or the Janitor over a cliff, but Seifer seems to have a chance of redemption, and he's younger, and the Janitor appears to have dedicated his life largely to making people miserable, so, although the Janitor is an amazing and brilliant and hilarious character and sometimes weirdly adorable, I think I'm going to have to cliff him. Sorry, Janitor. So I suppose I'm shagging Seifer.
EDIT: ...bloody hell, I can't do it. I can't kill the Janitor. I can't. He's not a bad person! I honestly believe that the Janitor likes JD, in some weird weird way. And he's so adorable around Elliot.
I THINK I'M ON THE VERGE OF TALKING MYSELF INTO MARRYING HIM.
WHOOPS, THERE GOES THE VERGE. Marry the Janitor, shag Dean, cliff Seifer. SORRY, SEIFER.
I'm probably going to revise this again before long, aren't I?
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Michael Scofield and Sam Winchester play a competitive pairs sport until it is discovered that Sam is allergic to Scofield's skin flakes. They must find new partners, but who, and why? And, of course, what competitive sport?
Well, the obvious answer would be that Scofield partners up with Lincoln and Sam partners up with Dean. I was going to say 'BUT THAT'S TOO OBVIOUS' and partner them up with other people, but, er, seriously, there aren't many other options for Sam. And Scofield's only other options are Sucre or Sara. FREAKING BROTHERS WHO ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER. I don't mean it, guys; you know I love you.
I'm going to say that the sport is figure skating, just because the mental image makes me laugh so freaking hard.
One more instalment to go!