I'm Just Waiting For The Lottery Numbers.

[rionaleonhart]

Rewatching the 'Simon Says' episode of Supernatural, I have come to the conclusion that Andy and Ansem are Derren Brown. Both of them. Andy represents the adorkable, getting-along-with-people, taking-delight-in-everything side; Ansem represents the eeeeeeevil. Of course, this means that Derren's eeeeeeevil side is hopelessly in love with his good side. I am not sure of how that works.

Seriously, where is my twisted and terrifying Ansem/Andy? The Supernatural fandom just lets the most obvious incestuous pairings pass it by. (Derren Brown/himself would also be acceptable.)


On Friday night, a friend of mine invited me to the pub. She told me to meet her at Notting Hill Gate. I, being useless, called her up an hour later to say 'Tottenham Court Road, right?', and she quickly corrected me.

At the pub with us was a man called Adam, whom I had met only a couple of times before. He was going to a party afterwards, he said: a friend had invited him; he didn't really know the person organising it. Alessandra something.

'Not Alessandra Surnameson?' I asked.

As it turned out, yes, this random guy was going to my childhood friend's birthday party.

As it turned out, this party was in Tottenham Court Road.

I HAVE PSYCHIC POWERS. CLEARLY, SENDING A UKULELE TO DERREN BROWN HAS CAUSED ME TO FORM SOME SORT OF WEIRD SOULBOND WITH HIM. I did not mean to form a soulbond with Derren Brown! I mean, not that I object to suddenly having incredible psychic abilities, but this was totally not my intention.

(I expressed my theory that the weird coincidences were Derren Brown's fault to another friend I hadn't seen in about a decade, who also happened to be at Alessandra's party (hey, the fates were clearly demanding that I go), and her boyfriend. It turned out that the boyfriend knew Peter Clifford and had been inside Derren's old flat. SERIOUSLY. CRAZY PSYCHIC UKULELE-OWNER SOULBONDS. WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS COMING? (Apparently, Derren had put bookshelves on the inside of the door to disguise it as a bookcase. I rather like that. And the boyfriend thought a ukulele would have fit in very well, which is reassuring.))


I am becoming a little more uneasy with every day that goes by without any feedback from Operation: Ukulele. Calm down, Riona! You only posted it half a week ago, and that wasn't directly to him. Worst-case scenario: Derren Brown thinks that you are a bit odd. He says in his book that 'gifts have arrived too creepy to mention', so you're certainly not going to be amongst the worst.

Comments

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

He says in his book that 'gifts have arrived too creepy to mention', so you're certainly not going to be amongst the worst.

UNLESS HE HAS A UKULELE PHOBIA.

ps. I think you should write a fic where Sam saved Dean from Hell via a psychic ukulele soulbond.

[timydamonkey.livejournal.com]

Funnily enough, I'm now marathoning Supernatural again (I know I'm crazy) because a friend of mine wants to watch it so I agreed I'd watch with. On rewatching (for me) Simon Says, we had a conversation along the lines of:

"Now that's being creepily in love with your sibling."
"Yep."
"So if people like incest fics why is there no incest here? It would make more sense!"

...My conversations are weird, apparently.

[rionaleonhart]

YOUR CONVERSATIONS ARE TRUE. Anson is clearly massively, creepily in love with Andy! Where is the fanfiction?

...you are a little bit crazy for watching it all again barely a week after first blowing through all the seasons.

[rionaleonhart]

UKULELES ARE TERRIFYING. THEY ARE LIKE GUITARS, BUT THEY'RE TINY. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

P.S. But how would Sam get a ukulele into Hell to activate the soulbond? I suppose that would be the main focus of the fic.

[timydamonkey.livejournal.com]

When I like something, I get obsessed. Massively. I even wrote fic and that's not something I do so much any more, but it wouldn't get out of my head and was really bugging me!

...Bugger, I'm a Supernatural addict now.

I am, however, mostly resisting getting ahead of UK pace on season 4. Mostly. (I may have nearly lost my convinction after last week's ep though.)

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

THEY'RE LIKE THE ACOUSTIC EQUIVALENT OF VERY SMALL DOGS.

ps. Clearly he activated the ukulele soulbond before Dean died. When he was a little bit drunk and just throwing anything at Dean to see if it'd stick. Then he forgot about it for several months, until he found the ukulele in the back of the Impala and strummed it a little bit, because just because he's dead on the inside doesn't mean he can't appreciate a good ukulele.

[rionaleonhart]

P.S., except not really because it doesn't follow anything: The mental image of Sam playing a ukulele is a very difficult one to grasp. His hands are the size of ukuleles already! How can he possibly play one?

Also, ukuleles and being dead on the inside do not mix terribly well.

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

The answer to your question is, very carefully.

Which is why it's so fortunate that the ukulele-strumming grips Dean tight and raises him from Perdition! Thus the day is saved and Sam is, if not entirely alive, a little less with the dead innards.

[misskass.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should have thought of the consequences before you sent him that ukulele. Because now you not only have his psychic powers, but I'm sure that you'll become slowly more terrifying and strangely sexy as you use them for both good and evil, and you'll convince people it's a good idea to kidnap other people, and one day you'll just turn into Derren Brown.

He says in his book that 'gifts have arrived too creepy to mention', so you're certainly not going to be amongst the worst.

If he gets gifts like most celebrities, you definitely won't be the worst. If I ever got famous I'd love a surprise ukulele inamongst the undergarments and... whatever else famous people get as gifts.

[rionaleonhart]

It is just so easy to forget the magical properties of ukuleles. Should you ever wake up one day to find yourself tied in a sack and being pushed into a lake, I apologise.

I have heard some truly horrific stories of celebrity gifts, which are, I have to admit, quite reassuring. AT LEAST I DID NOT SEND HIM AN ENVELOPE FULL OF PUBIC HAIR.

[culf.livejournal.com]

John Barrowman was once gifted a dildo with his action figure strapped on top. A ukulele for Derren Brown is just quirky and awesome, not creepy.

[rionaleonhart]

John Barrowman was once gifted a dildo with his action figure strapped on top.

...that is - that - wow.

(I bet he liked it.)

[justspaz.livejournal.com]

Your posts must be secretly manipulating people with your Derren Brown entries, since I randomly found myself reading his life story on Wikipedia on Friday.

I want a special bond with someone! I just need to figure out who would make the most interesting one...

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

MAYBE THE UKULELE GOT LOST IN THE POST.

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

I would just like to take the time to tell you how much I adore and enjoy your posts, as I have nothing else intelligent to say right now.

[rionaleonhart]

DON'T SAY THAT. I AM SURE IT HAS ARRIVED. IT HAS ARRIVED AND IT HAS ALREADY PASSED THROUGH DERREN'S MANAGEMENT AND HE IS JUST HAVING TOO MUCH FUN PLAYING IT TO RESPOND RIGHT NOW.

[rionaleonhart]

MY EVIL PLOT IS WORKING. My evil plot to, er, interest people in Derren Brown. Yes. Because then they will watch his programmes, and he will be able to implant his subliminal messages in the minds of more people, and his conquest will be all the faster.

Do not forget: ukuleles are the key! You'll probably need to own one as well for the full soulbonding effect. Perhaps it would work with other musical instruments?

[rionaleonhart]

Awww, thank you! I'm glad you enjoy them.

(I posted Certain Things a couple of weeks ago, by the way. Have you heard anything?)

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

(I got this little email from a friend:

Fess up -- are you the mischievous little minx behind the random postcards of hilarity?

8D)

[make-a-move.livejournal.com]

I really like that he turned his door into a bookcase. Just when I thought I couldn't adore him more...

My friend [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] and I had a conversation while waiting for a bus today, and came to the conclusion that 'dastardly' fits Derren Brown more accurately than 'evil'.

[rionaleonhart]

My brother has done the same thing, so I am forced to wonder whether he is Derren Brown. I hope not, although being Derren's sister would be quite cool, because my attraction to Derren Brown is wrong enough as it is.

'Dastardly' is an excellent adjective for Derren Brown.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I'll bet anything that Derren thinks the ukulele is cute. Weird, but cute. You may have a very nice thank-you note on the way, possibly written on nice stationery with a fountain pen at his suspiciously Dumbledoreish study. These things merely take time to compose and mail.

Or his people are checking it for explosives and secret anthrax, and will be passing it on as soon as they've verified that it is, in fact, the Ukulele of Charming Eccentricity, not the Ukulele of Death. At which point he will receive it and be charmed.

And you already have enough frightening powers without Derren Brown-style mind control. Or do you have Derren Brown-style mind control? Is that how you're always getting people to write things?

[justspaz.livejournal.com]

So, you're like a apostle of his. Nice.

Well, I play the cello but that would be pretty hard to send to a celeb. I really think it is time that I buy a ukulele. All the signs are pointing to it.

Where is the fanfiction?

[nixwilliams.livejournal.com]

well, here (http://nixwilliams.livejournal.com/32100.html) is a gentle one.

Re: Where is the fanfiction?

[rionaleonhart]

Whoops, his name is Ansem? I MEAN UM OBVIOUSLY THIS ENTRY ALWAYS SAID 'ANSEM'. ANSON? I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

And thank you so much for showing me the fic! Oh, Ansem, you are so screwed up. I sort of want to write some myself, now.

Re: Where is the fanfiction?

[rionaleonhart]

Also, I am so sorry about the fires. I'm glad you're safe.

[rionaleonhart]

(Perhaps I have already worked out that one of my flisters is Derren Brown and he has already made me forget. I am sure he is capable of hypnosis via Livejournal comments; he is just that impressive. Perhaps he is you.

At least I can be fairly certain that he wants the ukulele if he is secretly a member of my flist.

I do hope that I don't wake up in a lake. I bet my trick would be waking up in a replica of Silent Hill, actually.)

[rionaleonhart]

If I get a note written on nice stationery with a fountain pen, I will probably faint with happiness. Nice stationery and fountain pens just seem to fit Derren Brown. MUCH LIKE UKULELES.

Well, I may have Derren Brown-style mind control now, but as far as I know I didn't have it before. I am looking forward to finding out what I can do.

[rionaleonhart]

I would like, if I may, to recommend the Lanikai LU-21, because I have one and I love it enormously.

But I would love to see a celebrity's reaction to unexpectedly receiving a cello.

Re: Where is the fanfiction?

[nixwilliams.livejournal.com]

WRITE IT!!! I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER. also, post it to spn_stoners. yesyes.

i read a really dark one, very sexy, once. but i cannot remember who wrote it or where it was. *goes to check memories* (oh the days before delicious!)

Re: Where is the fanfiction?

[nixwilliams.livejournal.com]

thanks. it's pretty horrific.

Re: Where is the fanfiction?

[nixwilliams.livejournal.com]

i'd forgotten this one (http://community.livejournal.com/libraryofsol/78566.html).

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"I did not mean to form a soulbond with Derren Brown!"

I better be invited to your wedding on the astral plane!

[rionaleonhart]

Man, nobody ever thinks about the accidental astral marriage risks of sending musical instruments to celebrities.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

If it works I am totally sending a ukelele to, er,

actually, I don't want to marry any celeb, not even on the astral plane.

Now, if ukeleles have the power to bring Labradoodles to me on the other hand...

By the way, I feel olbliged to tell you that I spent some time this weekend making a Pyramid Head Jester out of a Punch-and-Judy Jester puppet, a party hat, and some tinfoil. It was quite scary.

[rionaleonhart]

...why would you do that?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Because first I wanted to give the jester a party hat, and then some other guy was like 'hey, he looks like Pyramid Head', because the party hat was made for humans and not jester puppets, and I remembered that we had some tinfoil around. TADA, PYRAMID HEAD JESTER. Laugh or he'll kill you.

[justspaz.livejournal.com]

I recently had an open area for money, so I'll definitely look into that.

I would imagine that it would confuse someone greatly. Perhaps to the point of this. (http://www.nbc.com/Heroes/novels/downloads/chapter59_ee.jpg)

[rionaleonhart]

...that is indeed quite confusing.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I could even nearly compare to the awesome of Derren Brown.

(Of course, if I was Derren Brown attempting to be in disguise then that is almost certainly what I would say)

Maybe you'll wake up in a lake in Silent Hill. In a sack. Surrounded by zombies. While watching what appears to be yourself in a car accident. And all the mini-rolls are full of razorblades! All to a cheerful ukulele soundtrack!

I bet you any amount of money that evil!Derren Brown is what sends people to Silent Hill. It's not their guilty subconcious! They just picked a 'Trick' card.

He's probably Pyramid Head.

Re: Where is the fanfiction?

[misskass.livejournal.com]

Isn't it just. ;__; I'm rather glad I don't live near fire-threatened areas, because I'm doing enough worrying about the people living there without having to worry for my family too.

[vzg.livejournal.com]

Nonono, not nice stationery and a fountain pen! Derren Brown would thank you by appearing in your dreams, saying things like "Thank you for the ukulele, it's really lovely" and "You may think this is a dream, but actually I've subtly tricked your mind into seeing the exact message I wanted to give you, which is now being expressed via your unconscious mind" and you will wake up an be all sorts of unsure as to the reality of it.

What have you done to me?

[rionaleonhart]

...I am now totally expecting to be thanked in this manner. He would.

[rionaleonhart]

I bet you any amount of money that evil!Derren Brown is what sends people to Silent Hill. It's not their guilty subconcious! They just picked a 'Trick' card.

adhghdjgdfgh this makes so much sense. I would have liked to see James Sunderland's reaction upon being informed that the ordeal he had just endured was only his trick. Derren was probably not counting on the 'In Water' ending. This, Derren, is a case in which your 'will he be able to cope?' psychological analysis may have failed.

[faenel.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking that I might have to start watching Supernatural. Not specifically because of this post ( doubtless that would say volumes about me) but because I have heard so much about it that now I am intrigued.

[rionaleonhart]

I heartily encourage Supernatural-watching! Sam and Dean are just so wonderful and I love them so very much.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

Um, I am very late to this, but it's been worrying me. (Er, I am weird?) How do you disguise a door as a bookcase? Stick a bookcase onto the door? Or put up shelves on the door? How are the hinges strong enough to hold all the books?

*confused me is confused*

[rionaleonhart]

Well, my brother just attached shelves to the inside of his door and put books on those. It doesn't seem to have collapsed yet, but it isn't a hugely effective disguise, either, perhaps because the shelves only cover part of the door. I don't know exactly what Derren did.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

But how can you not know? Surely your psychic bond with him allows you access to this sort of information?


(And that is so cool. I am buying myself a new bookshelf tomorrow to have delivered on Saturday, but it's coming from Argos, sadly. My books are currently taking over the floor - even though most are with my parents.)