Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2009-04-12 07:52 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2009-04-12 07:52 pm
Banana You Glad I Didn't Say Orange?
HERE ARE SOME AMAZING THINGS:
- I have just discovered a song about Derren Brown, played on the ukulele, on YouTube. Glee!
- Here is a wonderful Sherlock Holmes fanvid, set to 'Read My Mind' by the Killers. It makes me want to sit down and watch the whole of the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Oh, Jeremy Brett, you were the perfect Holmes. Look at him leaping around and waving his arms!
-![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
x_los made an entry from which I learnt that the Fourth Doctor once, upon escaping from a yoke by thrusting it at the guards who had captured him, said, 'I suppose you could say "the yoke's on him", if you were the sort of person who said that sort of thing, which fortunately I'm not.'
I have never even watched the Fourth Doctor, and this reported line alone has brought him very close to being my favourite incarnation.
- Yesterday, my brothers had a terrible pun war. Terrible jokes are some of my favourite things in the world. The theme of the day, apparently, was 'monkeys'.
Here are some of the jokes that came up:
J: Why did the monkey go out in the sun? He wanted to get an orangu-TAN.
F: What do most monkeys become when they grow up? A CHIMP-ney sweep.
J: Why did the monkey get sent to Hogwarts?
F: To learn magic?
J: Because it was a Howler.
F: What animal in the jungle do you use to get into your house?
J: A monkey.
F: What currency do they use in the jungle?
J: Monkeys?
F: ...yes.
J: Why was six afraid of the monkey?
I did warn you that they were terrible.
The younger of my brothers, F, was extremely secretive about the punchline of one of his jokes, on account of its being 'too good' and his fear that it would be stolen; he whispered it to the others at the table, but refused to tell it to me. I eventually learnt it about an hour later, and I think the resulting uncontrollable laughter was largely due to the great air of mystery about it and the amount of time I had spent musing on what the punchline could possibly be.
The question:
What is a monkey's favourite cereal?
The answer (blacked out: highlight to read; for full effect, you should probably consider it for a while before actually highlighting):
I could not stop laughing. I'm laughing again just thinking about it.
Please feel free to share your favourite terrible jokes in the comments, monkey-themed or otherwise!
- I have just discovered a song about Derren Brown, played on the ukulele, on YouTube. Glee!
- Here is a wonderful Sherlock Holmes fanvid, set to 'Read My Mind' by the Killers. It makes me want to sit down and watch the whole of the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Oh, Jeremy Brett, you were the perfect Holmes. Look at him leaping around and waving his arms!
-
x_los made an entry from which I learnt that the Fourth Doctor once, upon escaping from a yoke by thrusting it at the guards who had captured him, said, 'I suppose you could say "the yoke's on him", if you were the sort of person who said that sort of thing, which fortunately I'm not.'I have never even watched the Fourth Doctor, and this reported line alone has brought him very close to being my favourite incarnation.
- Yesterday, my brothers had a terrible pun war. Terrible jokes are some of my favourite things in the world. The theme of the day, apparently, was 'monkeys'.
Here are some of the jokes that came up:
J: Why did the monkey go out in the sun? He wanted to get an orangu-TAN.
F: What do most monkeys become when they grow up? A CHIMP-ney sweep.
J: Why did the monkey get sent to Hogwarts?
F: To learn magic?
J: Because it was a Howler.
F: What animal in the jungle do you use to get into your house?
J: A monkey.
F: What currency do they use in the jungle?
J: Monkeys?
F: ...yes.
J: Why was six afraid of the monkey?
I did warn you that they were terrible.
The younger of my brothers, F, was extremely secretive about the punchline of one of his jokes, on account of its being 'too good' and his fear that it would be stolen; he whispered it to the others at the table, but refused to tell it to me. I eventually learnt it about an hour later, and I think the resulting uncontrollable laughter was largely due to the great air of mystery about it and the amount of time I had spent musing on what the punchline could possibly be.
The question:
What is a monkey's favourite cereal?
The answer (blacked out: highlight to read; for full effect, you should probably consider it for a while before actually highlighting):
Rice monkeys.
I could not stop laughing. I'm laughing again just thinking about it.
Please feel free to share your favourite terrible jokes in the comments, monkey-themed or otherwise!
no subject
The look of genuine pain on my boyfriend's face when I read that to him made me laugh approximately three times longer. THANK YOU.
no subject
She's not a horseman of the apocalypse; it's a nickname.
My friend's daughter War is at that age and she recently heard from my friend that I have two different laughs. (I have my polite laugh for general usage and my real laugh, which is an evil witch cackle.) She'd heard my polite laugh and she wanted to hear my real laugh, so War informed me that she was going to make me cackle.
I laughed politely and told her no way. The cackle was embarrassing and only emerged when I absolutely couldn't control myself. So only the best and most amazingly funny of jokes would be greeted with my true laugh.
War, naturally, took this as a challenge.
War: Knock knock.
Essy: Who's there?
War: Paris.
Essy: Paris, who?
War: Paris Hilton!
Essy: *polite laugh*
And I thought, it's the name of a city and also the name of a celebrity, so technically I suppose it's a pun, but it's not very funny.
War wasn't finished.
War: Knock knock.
Essy: Who's there?
War: Lindsey.
Essy: Lindsey, who?
War: Lindsey Lohan!
Essy: *chuckle*
This was the point where I realised she didn't understand how to tell jokes. War however could sense that I was more amused by this that her first attempt and decided to have another go...
War: Knock knock.
Essy: Who's there?
War: Britney.
Essy: Britney, who?
War: Britney Spears!
Essy: *chuckle*
And then it happened...
War: Knock knock.
Essy: Who's there?
War: Madonna.
Essy: Madonna, who?
War: *sudden expression of limitless woe as she realises her magical formula has gone wrong*
Essy: *uncontrollable witch cackle*
At which point War ran off to boast to everyone about how she knew a joke so funny it made Essy cackle. There is a greater than average chance that she will now grow to adulthood honestly believing that the funniest joke in the world is just "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Madonna."
...and that's kinda funny.
Re: She's not a horseman of the apocalypse; it's a nickname.
Re: She's not a horseman of the apocalypse; it's a nickname.
Re: She's not a horseman of the apocalypse; it's a nickname.
And if in doing so you were to fix the part where I typed 'that her first attempt' instead of 'than her first attempt' that would be the icing on the awesome.
Re: She's not a horseman of the apocalypse; it's a nickname.
Also, that is an awesome icon.
Re: She's not a horseman of the apocalypse; it's a nickname.