If You Thought Twilight Was Creepy Before...

xavantina: It was quite obvious. Like the fact that T-Bag is a vampire. You know, of the sparkling Twilight-variety.
rionaleonhart: Oh, man, can you imagine what would have happened to Bella had T-Bag been one of the Cullens? ...I should probably not want to read that version of Twilight so much.
xavantina: I dare say it would make the book a bit more interesting. "And this is uncle Theodore. You probably don't want to find yourself alone with him at any point, he has a tendency to forget the 'vegetarian vampire' concept."
rionaleonhart: Oh, and he would be so charming, and his vampiric attractiveness would make things so much worse, and Bella would fall so hard for him, and then he would eat her.
Why do I actually sort of want to write the AU version of Twilight in which Bella meets Theodore instead of Edward and he has lines that creepily echo Edward's from the original book and it ends incredibly badly? AND I HAVE JUST REMEMBERED THE 'EDWARD WATCHES BELLA WHILST SHE SLEEPS' PART, WHICH IS CREEPY ENOUGH EVEN WHEN HE ISN'T T-BAG.
xavantina: Obvious Edward takes his cues on epic romance from T-Bag. Stalking = True Love.


I have deadlines next week, but once the term has finished I am totally going to give this incredibly horrific version of Twilight a go. For now, have a couple of snippets:


( Snippets! No spoilers for either Twilight or Prison Break. )

You know, had T-Bag been one of the Cullens, their choice to spend eternity in high school would have made so much more sense.