Way To Go, Derren.
Apr. 25th, 2009 02:01 pmAnd it's on the correct day this time! (Please note that this does not necessarily mean I shall be posting fake Merlin episodes every Saturday.)
Episodes From Riona's Mind: Merlin, Series 1.5, Episode Two: 'Are You Sure This Script Will Fill Forty Minutes?'
(London, 2009. An alleyway. It has recently been raining. With grinding noises, a blue police box fades into view. Viewers who missed last week's episode wonder whether perhaps they are on the wrong channel.
The door of the TARDIS opens, and the Doctor, played by David Tennant, strides out. He is followed by a beardy man a couple of viewers vaguely recall seeing on Channel Four at some point.)
Doctor: Here we are, back in the modern day!
Derren: Doctor, you've called every place we've landed the 'modern day'.
Doctor: Technically, it's always true.
Derren: I'm just pointing out that it wears a little thin after a while.
(Oh, look, you're on the right channel after all! Arthur and Merlin follow them out of the TARDIS. Arthur's eyes are very wide. Merlin is looking around with an expression of fascination, which he quickly amends to a more appropriate expression of horrified bewilderment when Arthur looks at him.)
Arthur: This is not Camelot.
(This is fairly obvious. You know it's obvious, and Merlin knows it's obvious. It is clearly a struggle for him not to say it out loud.)
Doctor: (SUDDENLY FALLS UNCONSCIOUS)
Derren: Oh, dear, it's some sort of mysterious illness.
(Now, of course, you know you're watching an episode of Merlin.)
Derren: Not sure I can read his mind to find out what it is; I don't have much experience with non-humans. I don't suppose either of you can help?
Arthur: Why should we help when you dragged us away from... this man isn't human?
Derren: Well, he is the only one who can take you back. I'm sure there'll be some sort of horrific paradox if you never become King.
Merlin: If he's not human, what is he?
Derren: I'll be surprised if this means anything to you, but he's a Time Lord.
Merlin: ...ah.
Arthur: What? What is it?
Merlin: I had a... friend, back in the castle, who said it was my destiny to meet a Time Lord some day. He said, when he fell ill, I had to 'join hands with the man with whom my soul is intertwined'. (significant glance at Arthur)
Arthur: (with an expression of distaste) Who told you that? Gaius?
Merlin: No! Just a - just a friend. (holds out hand) I mean, it can't hurt.
Arthur: If you think our souls are intertwined, I want you to untwine them immediately.
Merlin: Come on. Let's just try it.
Arthur: (pauses, then rolls his eyes and takes Merlin's hand)
(pause)
Arthur: Nothing's happening.
Merlin: I actually wouldn't be surprised if he was just trying to get us to hold hands.
(Derren appears rather amused by this, but then looks over at the Doctor's supine form and becomes more serious.)
Derren: You're Merlin, aren't you? Isn't there any sort of magic you could use?
Merlin: asdfhsgdfhdagahadgh
Arthur: (lets go of Merlin's hand very quickly indeed)
(London, 2009. An alleyway. It has recently been raining. With grinding noises, a blue police box fades into view. Viewers who missed last week's episode wonder whether perhaps they are on the wrong channel.
The door of the TARDIS opens, and the Doctor, played by David Tennant, strides out. He is followed by a beardy man a couple of viewers vaguely recall seeing on Channel Four at some point.)
Doctor: Here we are, back in the modern day!
Derren: Doctor, you've called every place we've landed the 'modern day'.
Doctor: Technically, it's always true.
Derren: I'm just pointing out that it wears a little thin after a while.
(Oh, look, you're on the right channel after all! Arthur and Merlin follow them out of the TARDIS. Arthur's eyes are very wide. Merlin is looking around with an expression of fascination, which he quickly amends to a more appropriate expression of horrified bewilderment when Arthur looks at him.)
Arthur: This is not Camelot.
(This is fairly obvious. You know it's obvious, and Merlin knows it's obvious. It is clearly a struggle for him not to say it out loud.)
Doctor: (SUDDENLY FALLS UNCONSCIOUS)
Derren: Oh, dear, it's some sort of mysterious illness.
(Now, of course, you know you're watching an episode of Merlin.)
Derren: Not sure I can read his mind to find out what it is; I don't have much experience with non-humans. I don't suppose either of you can help?
Arthur: Why should we help when you dragged us away from... this man isn't human?
Derren: Well, he is the only one who can take you back. I'm sure there'll be some sort of horrific paradox if you never become King.
Merlin: If he's not human, what is he?
Derren: I'll be surprised if this means anything to you, but he's a Time Lord.
Merlin: ...ah.
Arthur: What? What is it?
Merlin: I had a... friend, back in the castle, who said it was my destiny to meet a Time Lord some day. He said, when he fell ill, I had to 'join hands with the man with whom my soul is intertwined'. (significant glance at Arthur)
Arthur: (with an expression of distaste) Who told you that? Gaius?
Merlin: No! Just a - just a friend. (holds out hand) I mean, it can't hurt.
Arthur: If you think our souls are intertwined, I want you to untwine them immediately.
Merlin: Come on. Let's just try it.
Arthur: (pauses, then rolls his eyes and takes Merlin's hand)
(pause)
Arthur: Nothing's happening.
Merlin: I actually wouldn't be surprised if he was just trying to get us to hold hands.
(Derren appears rather amused by this, but then looks over at the Doctor's supine form and becomes more serious.)
Derren: You're Merlin, aren't you? Isn't there any sort of magic you could use?
Merlin: asdfhsgdfhdagahadgh
Arthur: (lets go of Merlin's hand very quickly indeed)
