You're The Devilfish.

I've always rather specialised in writing fanfiction with a potential audience of about three, but I think I may have hit upon my most obscure concept yet by scribbling down a few hundred words of interest only to people familiar with Patrick Jane (main character of The Mentalist, an American drama that, although fairly popular, doesn't have much of a fandom) and Victoria Coren (very minor English celebrity: columnist, poker player and unlikely one-time pornographer) and the rules of Texas Hold'Em. I could probably theoretically limit my audience further, but it'd be difficult; the only person I can think of who's familiar with all of those things is me. I suppose I could restrict it even from myself by filling the story with fishing jargon or heavily involving the shipping forecast.

It's just as well there's no audience, because I doubt I'll ever finish it. I only started writing this because I wanted Coren and Jane to shag, but they both flatly refuse to do so, Coren because Jane is wearing a wedding ring, what do you take her for, and Jane because of his billion issues. Jane's run off to investigate a murder instead, which was entirely not my intention. I'm so bad at controlling characters.

Anyway! This has got me thinking about 'nobody will read this, but I want to write it anyway' stories in general. Tell me the fic concepts you sort of want to write even though they have no potential audience! (Or the ones you've already written; I still remember the 'ohmygod what I can't believe someone actually wrote this' moment of innocently visiting my flist one day and finding River Cottage cannibalism fic, although I suppose that had more of a potential audience than most River Cottage fanfiction because, well, you'd have to look, wouldn't you?) Obviously, even stories for well-known fandoms can qualify if they involve a pairing with no following or cross over two fandoms with little demographic overlap or require very specialised knowledge: your secret stacks of Beiste/Pavarotti Glee fanfiction, for example, or Harry Potter and the Extraordinarily Complicated Mathematical Equation. Go on: do tell. And then write them. Write them all.

Another audienceless fic I sort of want to write: Tom/Karen from Waterloo Road. I appear to have started 'shipping them madly over the past couple of episodes. They could bond over their desperate and frequently failed efforts to be good parents! If more than three of you watched Waterloo Road, I'd be throwing out a desperate 'SOMEBODY WRITE THIS' plea here; as it is, if anyone's going to write it it'll have to be me.

(I'm thinking of deleting my crossover tag, because when a tag appears on well over a third of all your entries it sort of loses its usefulness. Hmm. Maybe I'll just rename it from 'insane crossovers' to 'crossovers', because I use it for all crossovers regardless of the amount of sense they make.)