Riona (
rionaleonhart) wrote2009-12-28 01:17 pm
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You're Like Some Kind Of Mad Evangelist For Anxiety.
I don't post about it much nowadays, but I still love Top Gear so much. It is a beautiful, brilliant series about three charmingly useless friends who go out and have adventures. It's tense (that part where Jeremy was trying to get around the other car on the Road of Death, augh), it's touching, it's hilarious, it is generally wonderful. The full-episode specials wouldn't look out-of-place in a cinema. I wish full-series DVDs were available; I really can't understand why they aren't.
I miss writing for it, actually. I haven't written Top Gear fanfiction for about two years, but the trio really were a delight to write for. I just don't know whether I'd be able to fall back into their voices after such a long period away from them. Also, very few of those of you I first met in the Top Gear fandom are still active there; it is now full of strangers, which is a bit scary. I do occasionally yearn for the days when the Top Gear fandom was ridiculously close-knit and we all met up to be dorks in West London.
Jeremy Clarkson is one of my favourite characters ever. He is such fun to write and watch! He is an amazing, ridiculous lunatic who will strap an enormous engine to a pickup truck and drive it across the English Channel, who is incapable of venturing near anything remotely flammable without somehow setting it alight, and the fact that he is a real person (even if he is putting on a bit of a persona) just makes it so much better.
(And more terrifying, admittedly.)
With particular reference to yesterday's Bolivia specia: my goodness, that trio are dedicated. I am awed. The number of times they nearly got themselves killed in the name of making good television: ridiculous. The oxygen-deprivation and parts of the Road of Death were actually painful to watch.
More musing on Shadow of the Colossus: how many videogames are there in which the fact that the hero becomes stronger with every enemy he kills is a plot point?
I love it when videogame stories do things that wouldn't work in any other medium.
I really need to stop playing Shadow of the Colossus, though. It's not good for me. I'm trying to get the Time Attack items at the moment, but killing the colossi is more harrowing every time I attempt it. The fight with the thirteenth is my favourite, in terms of both visuals and gameplay, but my enjoyment is somewhat hampered by the fact that it is also the fight that makes me feel most guilty. It is so pretty and graceful and doesn't even try to attack you! Shadow of the Colossus is making me hate myself.
It's actually making me feel guilty for my actions in other games as well. In videogames, I am used to 'Here are your enemies; they are evil, or at best mindlessly vicious. Kill them to save the world.' In Shadow of the Colossus, it's more 'Here are your enemies; they are unique and beautiful and, given the emptiness of this land, probably not hurting anyone. Some of them don't even want to attack you. Kill them for, essentially, personal gain.' And now I am questioning my true motives in other games. I WASN'T KILLING ALL THOSE SOLDIERS IN FINAL FANTASY XII TO SAVE THE WORLD; I JUST WANTED THE ITEMS FROM CHAINING.
Last night, I half-watched quite a lot of Peep Show, then fell asleep and dreamt that Mark and Jeremy (Usborne, not Clarkson) were snogging on a bed whilst Mark internally freaked out.
Not that I am complaining about such a dream, but now I have a bizarre urge to write Mark/Jeremy fanfiction. This is a bad idea for many reasons. My writing and Peep Show have entirely incompatible styles of humour! I'm not sure Peep Show even has a fandom!
I miss writing for it, actually. I haven't written Top Gear fanfiction for about two years, but the trio really were a delight to write for. I just don't know whether I'd be able to fall back into their voices after such a long period away from them. Also, very few of those of you I first met in the Top Gear fandom are still active there; it is now full of strangers, which is a bit scary. I do occasionally yearn for the days when the Top Gear fandom was ridiculously close-knit and we all met up to be dorks in West London.
Jeremy Clarkson is one of my favourite characters ever. He is such fun to write and watch! He is an amazing, ridiculous lunatic who will strap an enormous engine to a pickup truck and drive it across the English Channel, who is incapable of venturing near anything remotely flammable without somehow setting it alight, and the fact that he is a real person (even if he is putting on a bit of a persona) just makes it so much better.
(And more terrifying, admittedly.)
With particular reference to yesterday's Bolivia specia: my goodness, that trio are dedicated. I am awed. The number of times they nearly got themselves killed in the name of making good television: ridiculous. The oxygen-deprivation and parts of the Road of Death were actually painful to watch.
More musing on Shadow of the Colossus: how many videogames are there in which the fact that the hero becomes stronger with every enemy he kills is a plot point?
I love it when videogame stories do things that wouldn't work in any other medium.
I really need to stop playing Shadow of the Colossus, though. It's not good for me. I'm trying to get the Time Attack items at the moment, but killing the colossi is more harrowing every time I attempt it. The fight with the thirteenth is my favourite, in terms of both visuals and gameplay, but my enjoyment is somewhat hampered by the fact that it is also the fight that makes me feel most guilty. It is so pretty and graceful and doesn't even try to attack you! Shadow of the Colossus is making me hate myself.
It's actually making me feel guilty for my actions in other games as well. In videogames, I am used to 'Here are your enemies; they are evil, or at best mindlessly vicious. Kill them to save the world.' In Shadow of the Colossus, it's more 'Here are your enemies; they are unique and beautiful and, given the emptiness of this land, probably not hurting anyone. Some of them don't even want to attack you. Kill them for, essentially, personal gain.' And now I am questioning my true motives in other games. I WASN'T KILLING ALL THOSE SOLDIERS IN FINAL FANTASY XII TO SAVE THE WORLD; I JUST WANTED THE ITEMS FROM CHAINING.
Last night, I half-watched quite a lot of Peep Show, then fell asleep and dreamt that Mark and Jeremy (Usborne, not Clarkson) were snogging on a bed whilst Mark internally freaked out.
Not that I am complaining about such a dream, but now I have a bizarre urge to write Mark/Jeremy fanfiction. This is a bad idea for many reasons. My writing and Peep Show have entirely incompatible styles of humour! I'm not sure Peep Show even has a fandom!
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I just saw Mark/Jeremy and snogging and freaking out and I went 'well, no wonder Mark Owen's freaking out if Clarkson is snogging him' and really, those are not thoughts I should be having. I have seen Peep Show, and it's ridiculous and delightful, and I'm sure it has a fandom of sorts, maybe an RPF fandom?</small?
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If there is a Peep Show fandom, it is extremely well-hidden. COME ON, GUYS, MARK AND JEREMY HAVE CANONICALLY KISSED. 'I'M HIS ONE.' There is so much potential for slash!
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Maybe they're shy? Or maybe it's that rule of 'there more blatant the subtext, the less fic there is'.
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At least two! ...Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow/Dawn of Sorrow. I CAN EXPLAIN IF NECESSARY.
I should really play Shadow of the Colossus.
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And then Dracula's son comes up and says "hey yeah you know that soul thing that's going on well that's actually the power of dominance one of the powers associated with the dark lord and as such it means that Dracula's not so much back as reincarnated and long story short HI DAD DID YOU MISS ME?"
And then the story hinges around whether you turn into Evil Reincarnated Dracula or Good Reincarnated NotDracula. I think. I haven't played Aria.
In the canon ending of Aria of Sorrow, Soma seals away the power of dominance and goes about being normal again, largely because when you're not fighting horrible monsters it's not actually that useful, I mean "ugh, I stepped on a fly and now I have the ABILITY TO SPIT STOMACH ACIDS AT MY FOOD". So in Dawn of Sorrow he's rather shocked when suddenly it's back, just in time for an evil cult leader to kidnap his childhood friend (yeah, she's that kind of character, Kidnappy McGetskidnappedalot) and bring out a huge Xanatos Gambit of who gets to be the new dark lord and there's an evil cult headquarters and Death shows up again.
In this case, there isn't the dramatic revelation that Soma is Kid Dracula, because Soma already knows this, but the evil cult leader brings up these two guys who can also apparently be the new dark lord, because THERE MUST BE EVIL TO BALANCE GOOD or something. Upon killing one of them, Soma found that he'd used the power of dominance to suck up his soul, and freaked right the fuck out because normally it didn't work on humans and it's rather a shock to find that you're suddenly a cannibal. Anyway, Soul Sucked Up Dude was basically a Blue Mage, who could use any power used on him, and it turned out that this whole auuuugh why is it working on humans now business was intentional on his part so that he could ride around in Soma's body, suck up all the power he could get from Soma's victims, and then turn into the horrible, horrible stuck-together-from-parts True Final Boss of the game. IT HAD A FACE ON ITS THIGH.
So, anyway, in both cases the way you get new spells and attacks was entirely tied in to the plot of the game and I thought that was cool.
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My Suspicion is that Jeremy sat down and asked himself 'What would happen if I just ignored all of my inhibitions?' and then did that for Top Gear.
Hmm... Soul Reaver makes a good job of incorporating the gaining of abilities into the plot. I think an increase in strength may have been a plot point in Vagrant Story but it's been ages since I played it.
I always feel kind of guilty in the early Final Fantasy games when I kill wolves, something to do with the fact that they're not some kind of monster wolves, they're just regular wolves. I remember I tended to use the Fear spell a lot in which ever one had it, to make them run away instead. Also that bit in FFIX where you fight a lot of the regular Alexandria soldiers, I don't know why though, I'd suspect because they're women, but I don't have trouble with fighting characterised female characters like Beatrix in the same game so... *shrugs*
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Hee, I think this sounds quite possible!
I suppose fighting Alexandrian soldiers may be a problem when you've previously had experience of working with Alexandria. Also, you can't actually kill Beatrix.
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Greed for items! :P
how many videogames are there in which the fact that the hero becomes stronger with every enemy he kills is a plot point?
I guess you could argue Digital Devil Saga, as everytime they kill an enemy, they eat the enemy (cannibals!) and, while I haven't finished the game yet as I am horrifically stuck, it's quite possibly linked in to how emotional the characters get (they originally had no emotions). I am not sure though - but I like to think of it that way!
I suppose there's a case to argue the original .hack games in a way... though that's more, everytime they defeat a phase, not only does Kite get stronger, but The World gets even more screwed up than before. Though that's less to do with his strength...
On the other hand, Crisis Core is the opposite of this. You kill tons of things hoping to level up as you have no control over your level - it's pure luck on the DMW chaining a 777.
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What is this mad-sounding Crisis Core level-up system? Whether you level up is random?
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The battle system is real-time: Zack runs around freely and can attack/use equipped materia/items.
While all this is going on, the DMW gauge is constantly spinning in battle. You have no control over it. The DMW is like a slot machine. If the first and third picture match (they're pictures of characters - Cloud or Aerith for instance) it'll enlarge the DMW to fill the whole screen so you can see how it's spins for the third.
The DMW has two purposes: if you do get three in a row of a person, Zack uses a sort of limit break. Got that? (The DMW is complicated to explain. :P)
The DMW also uses numbers alongside the pictures. The numbers don't have to match up. If you do get two numbers the same when the DMW is enlarged, it'll randomly level up a materia. If you're very lucky and the DMW hits a 777 when enlarged (regardless of whether or not three pictures match) Zack will level up.
I did forty missions in a row without Zack levelling up once. Torture!
If my explanation is a little confusing, I'll find a video of the DMW in action...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OazBWufepe4 < that's how the DMW enlarges though it seems impossible to find a clip of somebody levelling up :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPn97tfXo6E < how the battle system works with the DMW spinning in the background but not used here
Neither of them are important or boss fights; just random encounters about 30 seconds long each.
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(EDIT: I actually did have to rationalise Time Attack mode before attempting it so I could live with myself. As, when you defeat a colossus in Time Attack, it still lives in the actual world of the game, obviously Wander is just imagining the battle as he prays in front of the colossus's statue.
If you shoot this theory down, I may actually cry.)
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I miss that as well :( Sometimes, Manda, Helly and I still meet up but it isn't the same as those evenings in Wagamama.
re yesterday's Top Gear: I don't think I've ever watched television behind my knees before. The whole Road of Death section, as excited as I was by the height, was terrifying D:
(Wait, Peep Show has no fandom? Shock of my life!)
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(No fandom! Or I have been unable to find any fandom, at least. It is appalling.)
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If you want to. Obviously it's up to you; I just don't want you to worry that you can't if you feel like it.
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More musing on Shadow of the Colossus: how many videogames are there in which the fact that the hero becomes stronger with every enemy he kills is a plot point?
Ooh ooh, Knights of the Old Republic II! Although you do not discover this for quite some time, and the revelation is more designed to make you feel uncomfortable with your actions. (Well, Dark Side players are probably thrilled by it. Light Side players, less so. I DIDN'T MEAN TO DRAIN THE LIFE FORCE OF MY DEFEATED ENEMIES, WHY ARE ALL THE OTHER JEDI GLARING AT ME NOW.)
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Ahahaha, that sounds pretty awesome! (I mean, er, as a concept in a videogame. In real life, life-force draining is not so awesome.)
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It's okay. You don't need to lie to us. We know your guilt is all a sham.
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I haven't actually been able to bring myself to play it for days. The last time I put it into the PS2, I just rode around the landscape and didn't try to fight any Colossi at all.
I'm never going to be able to play this game again, am I?
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HELLO I WOULD LIKE THAT DREAM VERY MUCH PLEASE.
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Vagrant Story, FFXII's theatrical, inappropriately dressed uncle! The main character starts off as an elite hack-and-slash machine, but when he starts being able to shoot lightning and punch zombies to death, he starts getting a little suspicious.
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blamed for inspiring other crack!fic writersrecced. ;)*huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs*
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Yes! Wow. This is an extremely good point and I think one of the main reasons this game is sticking with me so much. It's not just neat and self-contained guilt, and it doesn't even give you the comfort of some moral choice path.
Yuletide had a couple of things!
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What do I do?
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Also, I'm playing a game now where the...hero (word used in the loosest possible sense) is growing stronger and learning more with every enemy defeated because, once they re sufficiently weakened, he messily eats them alive, and doing so grants him the mind/memories/skills of that person or creature, which he is using to track down the people who turned him into a human-eating abomination and also incidentally unleashed a zombie apocalypse on the city he's in. If you think he sounds like a monster, you would be right.
Thus far his only redeeming features are how much he cares about his younger sister, that his victims don't live long enough to feel much pain, and that he hasn't yet attempted to kill everyone in the world.
It's interesting because, well, after a while I found the eating-people stopped being totally horrifying and became another abstract levelling-up system. I don't know what that says about me, but I hope it's just that I play too many video games, since in ever game wherein I have a choice I'm as heroic as it's possible to be...