'Poetry Hour With Riona's Family' Would Be Fairly Unsuccessful.

[rionaleonhart]

Ahahaha, oh, dear, I fear my parents may be becoming concerned by my uneventful love life. An exchange I recently had with my father via the incomprehensible medium of Google Wave:


Riona's Father: Loved the VD Post!

MY DEAREST HARRIET
YOU COULD BE PALLY YET.
IF SOMEONE GRABS YOU WITH THEIR LARIAT
DON'T DILLY-DALLY, PET

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY


Riona: I automatically interpreted 'VD' as 'venereal disease'. I just thought you should know.

OH DAD
DON'T BE SAD
THAT I HAVEN'T YET MET A SUITABLE LAD
UNIVERSITY, AFTER ALL, 'S DRIVING ME MAD
AND I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH UNTIL MAY

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY


Riona's Father: Of course you did.

A scholarly lady named Harriet
Was senseless to Time's Wing-ed Chariot.
Her ramblings eternal
Upon her Livejournal
Did not dispose her to marry yet.


I might have been mildly ticked off had the pressure not been presented in such a hilarious format.


In the comments to my entry on The Bubble, anewcitylife proposed retitling the show The Abuse David Mitchell Half Hour.

I would love to watch The Abuse David Mitchell Half Hour. David Mitchell is needled and mocked, and he makes quietly self-deprecating comments until eventually he snaps and flies into one of his amazing minute-long rants. (Obviously I am not proposing this rather cruel concept out of any dislike for David Mitchell. I adore David Mitchell. I just happen to feel that he is at his most hilarious and adorable when he is nettled. Sorry, Mitchell.)

What are some other television programmes that do not exist but clearly should? There's the documentary about David Mitchell and Charlie Brooker's crime-fighting adventures, obviously; they have no physical fighting ability whatsoever, but their sarcasm is devastating. There's Master Who, the weirdly-reminiscent-of-Tom-and-Jerry Doctor Who spinoff in which the Master attempts to take over the world in every episode but is thwarted by Donna Noble. There's Celebrity Big Brother: Top Gear Edition, in which Clarkson, Hammond and May are locked in a house together and the public make bets on how long it will be before they somehow blow it up. By what do you feel our televisions would be infinitely improved?

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

My family are a bit mad, but I do love them so.

Also, all of these ideas are amazing.

I've seen very little Brainiac, but I was under the impression that it already consisted entirely of Richard Hammond blowing things up and being gleeful about it.

while giving the camera a fanged smile and telling everyone it's all misdirection

Ahahaha! Oh, Derren, you terrifying man.

I love Torching Human Gear. I'd love to see how a clash between Torchwood and the Top Gear trio would go.

I would watch The Annie Gets Cuddled Hour! I would buy the DVD!

Ammunition Dump Challenge is just horrifying genius.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Brainiac has staggering quantities of Richard Hammond blowing things up and being gleeful about it (they kill more caravans than Top Gear does, and there's an entire segment that seems to be nothing but sticking inappropriate things in microwaves and watching them explode), but it also involves stuff like a man walking on custard, and testing whether looking at breasts provides the same cardiovascular benefits as healthy exercise (it doesn't).

Derren would love that so much.

I expect Top Gear versus Torchwood would be ambitious but rubbish, and there'd be a great deal of "Well, the bad news is that our plan to stop them failed, but the good news is that their plan to stop us failed, so nothing has been accomplished! Hooray!"

We could have marathon viewings of The Annie Gets Cuddled Hour together! And squee over different episodes, like the one where Mitchell says reassuring and self-esteem-boosting things while hugging her, the one where she and George have a quiet cuddle on the couch while watching television, and the one where complete strangers go up to her, tell her how lovely she is, and give her a hug!

I suspect no one should mention the <Ammunition Dump Challenge to Jeremy Clarkson. He doesn't read your journal, does he?