'Poetry Hour With Riona's Family' Would Be Fairly Unsuccessful.

[rionaleonhart]

Ahahaha, oh, dear, I fear my parents may be becoming concerned by my uneventful love life. An exchange I recently had with my father via the incomprehensible medium of Google Wave:


Riona's Father: Loved the VD Post!

MY DEAREST HARRIET
YOU COULD BE PALLY YET.
IF SOMEONE GRABS YOU WITH THEIR LARIAT
DON'T DILLY-DALLY, PET

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY


Riona: I automatically interpreted 'VD' as 'venereal disease'. I just thought you should know.

OH DAD
DON'T BE SAD
THAT I HAVEN'T YET MET A SUITABLE LAD
UNIVERSITY, AFTER ALL, 'S DRIVING ME MAD
AND I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH UNTIL MAY

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY


Riona's Father: Of course you did.

A scholarly lady named Harriet
Was senseless to Time's Wing-ed Chariot.
Her ramblings eternal
Upon her Livejournal
Did not dispose her to marry yet.


I might have been mildly ticked off had the pressure not been presented in such a hilarious format.


In the comments to my entry on The Bubble, anewcitylife proposed retitling the show The Abuse David Mitchell Half Hour.

I would love to watch The Abuse David Mitchell Half Hour. David Mitchell is needled and mocked, and he makes quietly self-deprecating comments until eventually he snaps and flies into one of his amazing minute-long rants. (Obviously I am not proposing this rather cruel concept out of any dislike for David Mitchell. I adore David Mitchell. I just happen to feel that he is at his most hilarious and adorable when he is nettled. Sorry, Mitchell.)

What are some other television programmes that do not exist but clearly should? There's the documentary about David Mitchell and Charlie Brooker's crime-fighting adventures, obviously; they have no physical fighting ability whatsoever, but their sarcasm is devastating. There's Master Who, the weirdly-reminiscent-of-Tom-and-Jerry Doctor Who spinoff in which the Master attempts to take over the world in every episode but is thwarted by Donna Noble. There's Celebrity Big Brother: Top Gear Edition, in which Clarkson, Hammond and May are locked in a house together and the public make bets on how long it will be before they somehow blow it up. By what do you feel our televisions would be infinitely improved?

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

“The Underside brings out one’s talents,” de Carabas says. “So, let us say, an expert in reading behaviour up Above may find himself able to read thoughts after slipping through the cracks. Purely as an example.” He smiles broadly. Derren experiences, simultaneously and possibly relatedly, the suspicion that this is what he himself must sometimes seem like to others and a surge of intense dislike.



“Memories can become embedded in structures like these,” de Carabas explains. “Usually, they’re anchored by a particularly powerful emotion. Walls aren’t terribly intelligent, so they can become confused about the order in which things occurred.”

“So what you’re telling me,” Derren says, “is that we may have just seen the future.”

“As you still appear to have all of your limbs, I’d say that’s fairly likely.”

“Ah,” Derren says. “And is there any way in which we could possibly avoid this future?”



“We are not unknown in our role as professionals,” Mr Croup says. “We are, in fact, rather famed amongst the wealthy, the influential and the imminently dead, to name but a few of the applicable categories. And, as the Lady Door has fallen into all three of these at various points in her to-be-truncated lifetime, one has to wonder why exactly it did not occur to her that one cannot dispose of men who can teleport simply by throwing them through a door.”



“Not for you such tedious pastimes as thinking through one’s actions before one performs them,” says Mr Croup. “A carefree existence, no doubt, but a short one.”



“One of you must best the gatekeeper in single combat,” he says. “One of you must prove his wits, and a third must face the Ordeal of the Key.”

“Erm,” Derren says, his mind still somewhere around ‘single combat’. “Right. I’m not sure there are enough of me, actually.”

“How many of you are there?” the Abbot asks.

“One.”

“Hmm,” the Abbot says, and he pauses to consider for a moment. “In that case, I suppose we can skip straight to the Ordeal.”

“Really?” Derren asks, surprised and grateful to be spared the combat, before realising that ‘the Ordeal’ doesn’t sound terribly promising either.

“Well,” the Abbot says, with a kindly smile, “it would be very unfair to ask you to go through all that on your own, wouldn’t it?”

[darkest-alchemy.livejournal.com]

*flails some more*
You are amazing. This so badly needs to be continued. Er... if you don't feel able to run with it, would you mind if I possibly did? Using those bits (obviously all credited and that where necessary) and then filling in the gaps and expanding on it? It's totally fine if you say no, I won't be offended or anything (like I need anything else to work on currently anyway, heh) but this is too good to just leave, I think.

That is exactly my writing style too, by the way. I can't write anything in order and I just write random scenes without knowing where they belong constantly. I get the beginning and the end done then spend years trying to fill in the gaps with some of my original fic.

[rionaleonhart]

Ooh! Yes, you're absolutely welcome to work with these snippets; I'd love to see your creation!

[darkest-alchemy.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)
Of course there's no guarantee I'll get any further with it, but I'm definitely giving this idea serious consideration now.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Can you make lots of this happen, please?