Round To The Front, Where The Engine Lives.

[rionaleonhart]

My favourite quote so far from For Richer, For Poorer, Victoria Coren's poker memoirs:

There is not enough money in the world for Ram. He is ever so handsome and the lady croupiers get lost in his big dark eyes, but Ram doesn't seem to notice women. If the dealer was topless, Ram would still look at the cards. He once had a girlfriend who asked Ram to write her a love poem. He wrote, 'On the moors there's heather and bramble, but all I want to do is gamble.' They are not together any more.

(I'm reading this book very slowly, I know, but it's absolutely not because I'm not enjoying it. I am savouring it. It's a great book to take to a coffee shop and read over a mug of hot chocolate.)

I bought For Richer, For Poorer on the way to see The Unbelievable Truth being recorded a couple of weeks ago, which leads nicely into my next paragraph: whilst waiting for the recording to begin, valderys and I started talking about throwing underwear at David Mitchell, for some reason (as a general concept; we weren't making plans). We eventually concluded that the only way one could fittingly throw pants at Mitchell would be if they were very sensible plain M&S knickers, still in the five-pack. Nobody should actually do this; there's too much potential for injury, and you'd almost certainly be kicked out of the recording. It's just a thought that amuses me.


I spent the weekend at my aunt's, and in the course of the visit I read The Worry Website, one of many Jacqueline Wilson books belonging to my adorable tiny cousin-once-removed. I cried. I haven't read a Jacqueline Wilson book in so many years, and I'd forgotten what a wonderful writer for children she is.

You know, my first attempt at fanfiction - conceived before I even knew what fanfiction was - was actually a wildly ambitious idea for a film called Harry Potter and the Double Act Twins, in which Ruby and Garnet, the twins from Jacqueline Wilson's Double Act, went to Hogwarts. My best friend from primary school and I were going to write the script and play the twins. There were extremely fierce fights about who got to play Garnet, which, because I am meeker (...more Garnet-like, in fact), I lost.

I still have my handwritten notes on problems we would need to get around when filming it. These notes tell me that I was thinking we could get the necessary owls from bird sanctuaries, although what I've actually written is 'bird sancuo places'. The plan for Quidditch is 'Players sit on brooms suspended by springy wires. They will easily be able to swing round'. There's an illustration, but I note that the illustration doesn't show exactly what the brooms are to be suspended from.

To my recollection, we only actually rehearsed one scene, which involved my brother Joseph (playing Harry Potter) crawling along the landing towards the imagined Voldemort and snarling 'YOU... KILLED... MY... PARENTS' in the most dramatic way you've ever heard.

LET'S ALL REMINISCE ABOUT JACQUELINE WILSON'S BOOKS. I suppose it's possible that you didn't read her books as a child, in which case I can only apologise for your life. Go back in time, read them, and then come back here and join in the reminiscing.

Comments

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

These notes tell me that I was thinking we could get the necessary owls from bird sanctuaries, although what I've actually written is 'bird sancuo places'. The plan for Quidditch is 'Players sit on brooms suspended by springy wires. They will easily be able to swing round'.

RIONA THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ

HOW IS TINY YOU SO UNBEARABLY ADORABLE

[rionaleonhart]

Looking through more of my notes, I notice that Ruby and Harry were going to catch the Snitch at the same time, which makes very little sense because they're - they're - they're both in Gryffindor.

(Also, my original plan for Quidditch was far more complicated: Players stand on platforms raised by ropes and painted to look like the background. By throwing our weight to one side, we should swing it. Never one to see the obvious, Tiny Riona. In a similar missing-the-obvious way, I've written that the Quidditch balls could be 'covered with red/black paper', with 'or painted' hastily added in a different ink.)

Oh, I would love to meet Jacqueline Wilson! You've put me in the mood for going to a library and reading all her books. I'LL BE IN THE CHILDREN'S SECTION IF I WANT TO; GO AWAY, PEOPLE WITH YOUR JUDGMENTAL EYES.