If Anyone Asks, I Killed You.

[rionaleonhart]

Good morning, [Subject Name Here].

A small percentage of test subjects may have difficulty emerging from deep sleep stasis. If you are still unconscious, please press the panic button on the far wall and follow the instructions.

Testing will begin shortly.

The portal will open in three... two... one...


I'm still not bored of the little desktop-ponies program. First-series Luna is my favourite desktop mascot; not only is she adorable, but she's unobtrusive enough for me to work comfortably while she's around, whereas somepony like Pinkie Pie is a terrible distraction.

(Talking about ponies in the presence of GLaDOS feels a bit weird. My Little Pony and Portal aren't really compatible fandoms. Although...)


The following [entry] may contain traces of classified information. If you read anything that you think you should not have read, such as [encoded test data] or [recipes for baked goods], please enter the Aperture Science Test Subject Memory Neutralisation Spike Pit.


I've been playing Portal 2's Commentary Mode on and off (it's so interesting! Why can't more videogames have commentary?), and this time, when I came to the conveyor belt carrying broken turrets to the furnace and I saw the turret that wasn't quite broken, I thought, Hey, I wonder if...

So I tried picking up the not-quite-broken turret and carrying it off the conveyor belt.

It said, 'Thank you.'

My heart, my heart, my heart. I'm sorry I shut down so many of your brethren, little turret, but in my defence they were trying to kill me.

Regarding the commentary itself: to my amusement and embarrassment, apparently playtesters frequently forgot they could go through portals in the test chamber that caught me out, so Valve programmed in a little pre-chamber section in which you had to go through a portal. And I still forgot that I could go through portals. I'm sorry, Valve; you did your best, but apparently I'm a hopeless case.

(Incidentally, have you seen this advertisement for the Long Fall Boots? Chell is so cool. I want to be her. Although ideally with slightly less undergoing incredibly dangerous tests at the will of passive-aggressive homicidal robots.)


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Comments

[wolfy-writing.livejournal.com]

That game sounds awesome! Everything you mention just makes it sound more interesting.

[rionaleonhart]

It really is an excellent game! And I think it's available for the Mac. No pressure at all; I just thought I'd let you know in case you'd be interested. System requirements, if you are:

OS: MAC OS X 10.6.7 or higher
Processor: Intel Core Duo Processor (2GHz or better)
Memory: 2GB
Hard Disk Space: At least 7.6 GB of Space
Video: ATI Radeon 2400 or higher / NVIDIA 8600M or higher / Intel HD Graphics 3000

[wolfy-writing.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I'll look into it. (Much of what scares me off gaming is consoles.)

[captlebubbles.livejournal.com]

Much of what scares me off gaming is prices. I'd love to play Portal, but I can't afford it. I don't think it's on XBox either anyway? Even if it is, I can't afford it. So I'll have to find someone to bum a copy off of for a little while.

Riona, have you seen this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAyqlX9toWk&feature=related)? It is Penny singing Still Alive with the guy who wrote the Portal songs. The sound quality isn't all that great, but it's pretty awesome nonetheless.

[wolfy-writing.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the prices can be intimidating sometimes. I think that's why I've done more of the casual games that you can buy from the App store for 99 cents than any real games. But PC-Portal 2 looks relatively affordable. (If you buy a used copy of Amazon, it's 25 bucks.)

[captlebubbles.livejournal.com]

Used copies tend towards the more affordable side, but they're still pretty pricey for the big names like Portal. That's the same reason I buy games that got really sucky reviews when they came out seven years ago for a now-outdated console- they're really cheap.

[dictionary00.livejournal.com]

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[rionaleonhart]

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I've never watched Extras, but I have listened to the Gervais-Merchant-Pilkington podcasts in the past. It was quite strange to hear Stephen Merchant's voice in the context of a videogame. Then again, I'm used to only hearing his voice - I've almost never actually seen him - and so for all I know he could actually be a robotic sphere.

[captlebubbles.livejournal.com]

Also this (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iSXXUGnR0aw/Tg-VM4AVdBI/AAAAAAAAAno/qyOJ9DflNCU/s1600/14122+-+parody+pinkie_pie+portal.jpg) is relevant to this post or something.

[zarla.livejournal.com]

YOU DIDN'T SAVE THE LITTLE BROKEN TURRET BEFORE??? THAT WAS LIKE THE FIRST THING I DID WHEN I SAW IT, HAHA
MY IMMEDIATE RESPONSE WAS I'LL SAVE YOU EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT IT WOULD IMMEDIATELY MURDER ME ANYWAY

I DUNNO WHAT THAT SAYS ABOUT ME

THEN I CARRIED IT WITH ME AS FAR AS I POSSIBLY COULD, AND THEN I LEFT IT BY THE FIELD SO IT WOULDN'T GET DISINTEGRATED AND STARED AT IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEFORE MOVING ON
I LOVE YOU LITTLE TURRET


I ALSO SPENT A LOT OF TIME SAVING DEFECTIVE TURRETS FROM THE INCINERATOR

[rionaleonhart]

It didn't occur to me that I would be able to! I don't know why it didn't occur to me that I would be able to, because frankly it's fairly obvious. I felt really bad about not saving it on my first playthrough when I found out I could!

Then, having saved it, I felt really bad about rigging the production line to send operational turrets into the disposal. Sometimes they say 'I did everything you aaaaasked!' as they're flung away and I feel like a terrible person. But I don't want the defective turrets to be destroyed either, and I suppose at least I won't have to shut down the defective turrets later.

I suppose what can be concluded from this is that we both become emotionally attached to things in videogames too easily (although I suppose the Portal games are particularly good at making players irrationally attached to pixels, given that this series was the origin of the Companion Cube). Have you ever played Red Dead Redemption? My entire style of play became centred around keeping my horse alive.