Trabia Garden

Another My Little Pony: Equestria Girls film came out when I wasn't looking! I came across it when scrolling through Netflix, crowed with laughter, and then (inevitably) watched it.

Legend of Everfree pretty decisively sank Twilight Sparkle/Flash Sentry, which I'm sad about, because I'm the only person on the planet who genuinely enjoyed that romance subplot. Their interactions were really cute!

Also, I'm fascinated by the potential dynamic between Flash Sentry and always-a-human Twilight Sparkle.

For those who haven't seen the Equestria Girls films, i.e. most sensible people: there's 'our' Twilight Sparkle, the pony, who takes human form when she crosses to the Equestria Girls parallel universe, but there's also human Twilight Sparkle, Twilight's counterpart in that parallel universe. So there are two Twilight Sparkles, and the one Flash Sentry first met was the pony one (although he didn't know she was usually a pony at the time). Pony Twilight Sparkle, the one Flash knew (and had an oddly cute semi-romantic dynamic with, bearing in mind that he is a teenage boy and SHE IS A PONY) has now returned to her dimension; Human Twilight Sparkle has recently appeared on the scene.

Early in Legend of Everfree, we get this scene between Flash Sentry and Human Twilight Sparkle:

Flash Sentry: (hands Twilight her backpack) Here you go, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks. It's... Flash, right?
Flash Sentry: Yup, that's me! (remembers that this... isn't actually the Twilight Sparkle he knows, crap) And you're you. And... we don't know each other very well. (turns away and mutters to himself) Cool story, bro.
Twilight Sparkle: Right. I guess I'll... see you around.
(Flash leaves. Twilight looks helplessly at Sunset for an explanation.)
Sunset Shimmer: You know how there's that girl who looks just like you when she's here, but lives in another dimension, and she's a pony princess?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.
Sunset Shimmer: Flash kind of had a thing for her.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.

The stranger the relationship dynamic, the more a pairing tends to appeal to me, and I already thought Twilight Sparkle/Flash Sentry was pretty cute. How could I resist the added weirdness of pairing Flash Sentry up with a different version of Twilight Sparkle when he still had feelings for the first version?

But then Human Twilight Sparkle went off and got a crush on SOME ARSEHOLE (I really didn't get along with Timber Spruce), and Flash Sentry was advised to get over the girl who is separated from him by dimensional barriers and also a pony, and I was deeply disappointed. I wanted weird, slightly unhealthy romance built on a foundation of 'I have a crush on an alternate-universe version of you'! Yes, all right, perhaps it wouldn't be terribly appropriate for a colourful children's film, but it would be interesting!

There's a part of me that actually wants to write 'I'm pining after your pony counterpart, we should definitely get together, this is a fantastic basis for a relationship' Flash Sentry/Human Twilight Sparkle fanfiction. It would be incredibly regrettable. I will try not to write this, but I can make no promises.

This is the worst entry I've ever made. I'm so sorry.

I don't often post audience participation entries these days, simply because there's not much of an audience left to participate; Livejournal and Dreamwidth are very quiet places! But I'm fretting about various things at the moment (nothing insurmountable, things are probably going to be fine), and I could do with a distraction, so it's worth a try:

Ask any fictional character you think I might be able to manage a question, and I'll reply in-character as them with an answer (or possibly reply as myself going 'WHAT THE HELL, I CAN'T DO THIS'). Feel free to ask either as yourself or as another character.

You may, if you wish, ask multiple questions (perhaps of multiple characters) or attempt to engage the characters in extended conversation. I've attempted to answer as real people in the past, but I'm specifying fictional characters this time, I'm afraid!

(Alternatively, or in addition: name a canon you know I have at some point enjoyed, and I'll dig up and post an extract from the unfinished fanfiction I've almost certainly got lying around.)

Feel free to comment even if we haven't talked in six years! If you're not sure of my fandoms (I have approximately a billion fandoms), my tag list should give you an idea. Although for some reason I have a 'buffy' tag? Don't ask for Buffy; I've seen about four episodes and you'll be disappointed.


To avoid duplicates on the 'unfinished fanfiction' question, below are links to the different versions of this entry (and the list of fandoms I've thus far posted snippets for in each one):

Livejournal: The Mentalist, My Little Pony, Harry Potter
Dreamwidth: The Last of Us, Uncharted, Top Gear, Assassin's Creed, The World Ends With You, Dangan Ronpa, Ghost Trick, Supernatural, Doctor Who, Prison Break

Whoops, went quiet for a month and a half there. I'm still around! Not a lot's happened, though; I've mostly just been working. I hope there are still people here.

To my surprise as much as yours, I finally finished the answers to that character-number meme: the one where I picked fifteen characters and you asked questions like 'would Six and Eleven make a good couple?' without knowing which character corresponded to which number. The one I posted more than a year ago. That one. Whoops.

Previous answer instalments are here and here. Fandoms represented below the cut are My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy XIII, Uncharted, The Mentalist, Red Dead Redemption, Phineas and Ferb, Portal, Peep Show, Silent Hill and Pokémon.


( I was going to say 'It's stupid crossover time!' before remembering that, in this journal, every time is stupid crossover time. )


And that's it! ONLY TOOK ME THIRTEEN MONTHS.

SOMEONE ANONYMOUSLY BOUGHT ME PAID LIVEJOURNAL TIME. Who are you, mysterious person? Whoever you are, I think you're absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much!

I mentioned to th_esaurus (who is now my housemate!) that someone had bought me paid time. She pointed out that this was probably because I am, in fact, the only person who still uses Livejournal. It's true, alas.

Do I have anything to offer you, anonymous benefactor? It's difficult to choose something when I don't know who you are! Here are some snippets of unfinished fanfiction, anyway; I hope you find something you like in here. (I also hope you find something you like if you are not my anonymous benefactor, of course.)


( My Little Pony/Merlin: Lancelass, the sequel to Marelin. )


( The Mentalist: Lisbon becomes psychic. )


( Peep Show/Harry Potter: Mark and Jeremy meet on the Hogwarts Express )


Thank you again!

Unrelatedly: last week, I had a conversation with some friends on the subject of bad stories for Disney to adapt. We came up with Disney's A Clockwork Orange, Disney's Saw and Disney's The Human Centipede. The Human Centipede would have an actual centipede as a cute talking animal sidekick.

Further thoughts on the subject would be very welcome.

It's been months since the first instalment of the character-number questions, but I have not forgotten about them! I'm just really slow.

Here is the second instalment! Fandoms represented are, as before, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy XIII, Peep Show, Phineas and Ferb, Red Dead Redemption, Portal, Uncharted and The Mentalist, with the inevitable mentions of Silent Hill and Pokémon.


( Some day I'll just have 'a delicious piece of cake' as the ninth character. )


There are yet more answers to come! Goodness knows how long it'll take me to get to them, though.

DEAR MASS EFFECT 2: WHY AM I NOT ABLE TO INVERT THE X AXIS

SERIOUSLY, WHY

No, really, this game allows you to choose the sex of the main character and customise his or her appearance to a considerable degree and alter your armour and choose which skills to improve when you level up, options options everywhere, and yet they couldn't include an option for that handful of weirdos who get confused when moving the control stick left doesn't move the camera right? I have enough trouble aiming even when the camera does what I'm expecting it to!

Other thoughts on Mass Effect 2 (I've only played about an hour): Jacob seems a nice guy. I hope he's not secretly evil. Miranda doesn't seem nice, but I'm sort of intrigued by her anyway. I'm really bad at shooting things, which I'd like to claim is entirely because of the lack of X-inversion but which is probably largely because I'm just really bad at shooting things.

I don't always go for the female-protagonist option when it's offered in games - I'm always a boy in Pokémon, for example - but I'm playing as a female Shepard because I think Commander Shepard as a concept is fundamentally more interesting when she's female; the male Shepard is something we've seen a thousand times before. I don't think I'd have considered picking up this game had female Shepard not been an option, in fact. My Shepard has red hair and grey eyes and I'm inexplicably really pleased to see her on the screen, even though I didn't actually tweak her that much. Look at her asking questions and making expressions and shooting things, or at least shooting hopelessly in the general direction of things whilst my teammates do the actual work! She's mine! I made that!

As always in games with morality systems, I'm being really nice to everyone, to such an extent that Miranda told me outright she wasn't looking for a friend. I feel like Pinkie Pie. Noooo, someone doesn't want to be my friend! BE MY FRIEND, MIRANDA. EVERYONE HAS TO BE MY FRIEND. I DON'T CARE HOW SHIFTY YOUR ORGANISATION IS.


Change-of-subject time: have you been feeling too productive recently? ALLOW ME TO FIX THAT FOR YOU: have a link to Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 4, a horrendously addictive rhythm-action game. It's essentially Guitar Hero for computer keyboards, and it is likely to destroy my career. Enjoy!

Having seen 'Read It and Weep', the latest My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode, I really want people to write the self-insert Rainbow Dash/Daring-Do fanfiction that Rainbow Dash is no doubt scribbling enthusiastically right now. It wouldn't be good, but it would be hilarious and adorable. And it could include reviews from the other ponies! And Rainbow Dash's responses to those reviews! NOBODY CARES ABOUT SPELLING, TWILIGHT.

Rainbow Dash is so conflicted whenever awesome things need to be done in her fanfiction; for example, who should awesomely backflip over the manticore and hit the release lever for the trapdoor conveniently located beneath the manticore's feet? On the one hoof, Daring-Do is awesome and Rainbow Dash doesn't want to give the impression that Daring isn't awesome by doing all the awesome things herself. On the other, Rainbow Dash wants to do all the awesome things.

I would also quite like to see fanfiction in which Nathan Drake and Daring-Do go after the same treasure. They have a lot in common, which is unsurprising as they both seem to be inspired by Indiana Jones. Daring's cutie mark caused me great amusement, because I had previously seen this ponified Uncharted fanart. I wouldn't be surprised, frankly, to find out that the human Nate actually did have the points of the compass tattooed on his arse.

Elena is, of course, also invited. 'So... remind me why we're competing with a talking pony version of you?'


If you move the analogue stick rapidly in circles on Final Fantasy XIII, the character you're controlling gets pissed off with you. They'll roll their eyes and facepalm, or wave their hand as if swatting away a fly. It's a nice touch, if a little fourth-wall unfriendly. I know I wasn't the only one who made the characters run around in endless circles on Final Fantasy VIII; finally the characters themselves have caught on.

Also, I'd forgotten how depressing Palumpolum was. I'm trying to help you guys! Why do you all hate me so much? Well, all right, you hate me because you think I'm here to kill you horribly, fair enough.

XIII-2 has now been released, and I'm hoping to have in my possession within the next few days! I have no idea what to expect from this game (beside, you know, the world's silliest chocobo theme), but I'm itching to play it.

Good morning, [Subject Name Here].

A small percentage of test subjects may have difficulty emerging from deep sleep stasis. If you are still unconscious, please press the panic button on the far wall and follow the instructions.

Testing will begin shortly.

The portal will open in three... two... one...


I'm still not bored of the little desktop-ponies program. First-series Luna is my favourite desktop mascot; not only is she adorable, but she's unobtrusive enough for me to work comfortably while she's around, whereas somepony like Pinkie Pie is a terrible distraction.

(Talking about ponies in the presence of GLaDOS feels a bit weird. My Little Pony and Portal aren't really compatible fandoms. Although...)


The following [entry] may contain traces of classified information. If you read anything that you think you should not have read, such as [encoded test data] or [recipes for baked goods], please enter the Aperture Science Test Subject Memory Neutralisation Spike Pit.


I've been playing Portal 2's Commentary Mode on and off (it's so interesting! Why can't more videogames have commentary?), and this time, when I came to the conveyor belt carrying broken turrets to the furnace and I saw the turret that wasn't quite broken, I thought, Hey, I wonder if...

So I tried picking up the not-quite-broken turret and carrying it off the conveyor belt.

It said, 'Thank you.'

My heart, my heart, my heart. I'm sorry I shut down so many of your brethren, little turret, but in my defence they were trying to kill me.

Regarding the commentary itself: to my amusement and embarrassment, apparently playtesters frequently forgot they could go through portals in the test chamber that caught me out, so Valve programmed in a little pre-chamber section in which you had to go through a portal. And I still forgot that I could go through portals. I'm sorry, Valve; you did your best, but apparently I'm a hopeless case.

(Incidentally, have you seen this advertisement for the Long Fall Boots? Chell is so cool. I want to be her. Although ideally with slightly less undergoing incredibly dangerous tests at the will of passive-aggressive homicidal robots.)


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The theme of today's entry is 'television shows beginning with M'.

Misfits: oh, no. How have I managed to become emotionally invested in Misfits? How did that happen? This is such a bad thing to be emotionally invested in. You just had to go and be adorable, didn't you, Kelly and Seth? Thanks, Kelly and Seth. Now I actually become distressed when bad things happen in Misfits, which is always.

Merlin: every so often I remember that this was an actual scene in an actual episode of Merlin and just boggle. To any non-watchers who have heard about Merlin and thought 'well, it can't possibly be as gay as everyone seems to say it is': you are incorrect. (Here, if that wasn't, er, romantic enough for you, is the same scene set to soaring violins. Oh, Internet.)

On a more serious note about the Merlin-and-Arthur relationship: here (Scene 59, starting at the 2.16 mark; the link (found via lozenger8) should take you straight there) is an incredibly lovely deleted scene from the first episode of the fourth series, when Arthur believes he's going to his death. Bless them.

The Mentalist: has anyone made a montage of all the times that Patrick Jane gets punched in the face? That would be my favourite montage. I would watch it every day. Possibly every hour. I love you, Jane, but when people punch you I cheer.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: I'm going to specifically talk about episode 2.09, 'Sweet and Elite', so you may want to rush off and watch that before reading if you haven't seen it yet. I'm not really being terribly spoilery, but just in case.

Thoughts on the episode: I really like Fancypants! I hope we see him again. I loved it when Rarity was watching the Wonderbolts in great excitement and Fancypants, with a little fond smile, was watching her; it was clear that he really enjoyed seeing somepony being genuinely enthusiastic about something after spending so much time with ponies who simply affected interest in everything he said.

I don't really 'ship anypony in Friendship is Magic, but if I did I suspect I would 'ship Fancypants/Rarity. I think they would be good for each other. Fancypants, being surprisingly relaxed and down-to-earth considering his social status, could help keep her grounded; Rarity is a pony willing to disagree with him, which I think he needs.

I have been listening to 'The Pony Everypony Should Know' more or less solidly since I saw the episode, whoops.

Well, Derren Brown's The Gameshow was the most uncomfortable thing I've watched in a very long time. Probably the one thing of Derren Brown's I'd actively advise against watching. I felt quite ill. I shook all over. I almost cried at one point. It was meant to be horrible, of course, but - although it's obviously better than a programme that isn't aware it's horrible - that didn't make it much less horrible.

I sincerely hope that Dave stayed in that poor man's house and baked him a cake or something.

In looking at reactions on Twitter, I've seen a few people going 'WELL, THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING; OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GO FOR THE MORE ENTERTAINING OPTION'. I don't think 'people will value their own entertainment over the comfort of another human being' is an insignificant thing to prove. No, that's not the problem with The Gameshow.

Here's the problem with The Gameshow: Kris should have been an actor. The Gameshow wasn't about the victim; it was about the audience deciding what happened to him. Remote Control was not a real show. So why did a real person have to suffer? Because it made better television, of course, which raises the question: what right do the creators of the programme have to judge the audience? (Ultimately, I suppose nothing really awful happened to him and my thoughts on his experience have been coloured by my constant fear throughout the programme of how far it might go, rather than by how far it actually went, but he still had a pretty rubbish night.)

The other problem with The Gameshow is that they were clearly nudging the audience towards the negative decisions - by referring to Kris as 'the target', by showing that clip where he admitted to cheating on his girlfriend, by emphasising that Kris was a practical joker. To Derren's credit, he did show us these little manipulations; he's said in the past that, despite being a massive professional liar, he doesn't want anyone to watch one of his shows and see something that gives the wrong impression through heavy editing. But I think the experiment would have been more interesting and meaningful if it had shown whether an audience without these little pushes would still have devolved to the point where they were baying for a man's property to be destroyed.

Not that the manipulation made the audience's actions excusable, but, if this programme was genuinely made in the spirit of investigation, it did probably muddy the result. Although I suppose it depends on what exactly the aim of the investigation was. If it's about crowds being easily led from without, I suppose the manipulation isn't a problem; crowds often follow a leader, after all. If it's about how the crowd mentality works from within, though, it could have been better executed. The Gameshow did make a point (the television, the kidnap - by that point I was genuinely astonished by the audience's conduct), but perhaps it could have made a better one. (EDIT: Oh, hang on, there's currently a clip on the Channel 4 website ('Derren Discusses The Gameshow') in which Derren mentions that the gameshow format is often geared towards manipulation and bringing out the nastier side of people, and that the same group of people obviously wouldn't behave like that on the streets, so the easily-led crowd hypothesis seems to be the one he's working with.)

The ending and this low-level manipulation were very much tied together. On the one hand, the ending certainly made an impact; on the other, that ending relied on the audience making consistently negative decisions. It was in Derren's interests to push the audience in a behaving-badly direction so he could break out the impressive ending and hit them with the consequences of their actions, but of course that means that he himself became in part responsible for those actions. The moral message would have been stronger had the audience followed their own path into iniquity. As it was, it felt a little like the bearer of that moral message led them into a trap.

I still think Derren Brown is brilliant, and I'm looking forward to the other shows in the Experiments series, but, no, I wouldn't recommend The Gameshow. It undermines its own message too much to make the intense discomfort of watching up to that message worth it.

Incidentally, why does anyone ever apply to take part in one of Derren Brown's programmes? HE'S JUST GOING TO DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO YOU. EVEN WHEN HE'S TRYING TO BE NICE HE DOES HORRIBLE THINGS.

(Speaking of intensely uncomfortable things: I watched the film adaptation of We Need to Talk About Kevin earlier this week, not having read the book beforehand (if I recall correctly, it took me about three pages to realise I couldn't get on with the writing style). I kept waking up in the night afterwards and having to imagine that Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle were gathered around my bed, ready to protect me from any Kevins that might come near.

I'm - I'm a grown-up.

We Need to Talk About Kevin is also flawed, incidentally, because, whilst perfect characters are dull, so are characters with literally no redeeming features. Why do we have to talk about Kevin? Can't we talk about someone more interesting?)