rionaleonhart | The Aerodynamic Properties of Elton John.

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The Aerodynamic Properties of Elton John.

Creative writing may improve doctors' bedside manner, apparently.

Oh, I want Cuddy to force House to attend a creative writing course. It could be amazing.

Right. At the moment there's a meme going around: something along the lines of 'comment with the name of a fandom I'm aware of and I'll tell you the relationships I'm interested in in that fandom'. Now, this is all well and good, but I'd probably have to talk about why I'm interested in each relationship, and then I'd talk about the relationships I'm not interested in and why they don't appeal to me, and then I'd drift off into crossover-land and be lost forever. I mean, if you said 'tell me all the relationships you're interested in from Doctor Who!' I would spend years going 'Oh, yes, and Captain Jack Harkness/JD, and Jack/Chase, and Jack/Sam Tyler, and Jack Harkness/Jack Sparrow, and Jack/James Sunderland, and Jack/Squall/Rinoa, and Harkness/Hammond/Clarkson/May...'

Therefore, what I am going to do instead is repost a meme I did about a year ago (although not as about a year ago as I thought when I glanced at the date on the entry. WHY PUT THE MONTH BEFORE THE DAY? YOUR COUNTRY IS SILLY), when I had rather fewer fandoms than I do now:

1. Comment with any pairing (or character, or threesome, or platonic relationship, or theory, or random concept ('WHAT IF THE TOP GEAR TRIO BECAME CARS?'). Multiple suggestions are welcomed) from a fandom (or fandoms: crossovers are - of course! - fine) that you know I like, or at least have some knowledge about.
2. I will ramble for about 100 words (I may [read: probably will] go over a bit) about the aforementioned relationship/character/theory. This may be incoherent gushing or exclamations of disgust, depending on what it is. (I can't actually think of a pairing that would result in exclamations of disgust. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS AS A CHALLENGE.) If the theory/relationship is sufficiently intriguing or ridiculous, you may also get random snippets of fic as I try to work it out.
3. Put this on your LJ, if you are so inclined.

(Torchwood starts tomorrow! I can't decide whether to be excited or terrified.)

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"Oh, I want Cuddy to force House to attend a creative writing course. It could be amazing."

This is a fic waiting to happen!

"WHAT IF THE TOP GEAR TRIO BECAME CARS?"

That would take longer than 100 words.

So, basically you're interested in Jack/Everyone In The WORLD.

What if the Doctor, Rose, Mickey and Captain Jack became cars?

Well, obviously the Doctor would be a Reliant Robin that could travel in time and space. This isn't just because, you know, the Reliant Robin TARDIS is the best concept ever: it really does fit. The Doctor is a little bit odd, a little bit quirky; you just know he'd be the three-wheeled car.

I am off to Oxford in a moment, but when I get a chance to I will try to assign cars to the others. (I need time to think about them, too. It's much easier when you're dealing with people whose car preferences and the things they value in car design are made extremely clear.)

And yes, I am interested in Jack/Everyone In The WORLD. Aren't you?

You know how in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the books there is this one creature who travels through time and space to insult EVERYONE who has ever lived in alphabetical order?

Jack travels through time and space to SHAG everyone who has ever lived in alphabetical order.

And the Reliant Robin would fit because everyone would go 'Pfsh, tiny weird car' and then Doctor!Robin would go 'fear me, bitches' and would save the galaxy/planet/race anyway.

You know how in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the books there is this one creature who travels through time and space to insult EVERYONE who has ever lived in alphabetical order?

Jack travels through time and space to SHAG everyone who has ever lived in alphabetical order.

Butting into the conversation to heart you intensely, just for that. I think you win.

Why do you love Sam/Gene? And if they became cars, would you still love them as much?

Sam/Gene made me panic a bit when I first saw the potential for it, because I had absolutely no clue what Life on Mars was when I began watching it, or what the fandom was like. So, when Gene twisted Sam's arm behind his back and dropped him to his knees and put his mouth very close to his neck in the first episode, my mind first went 'AJFDAFDGDV WHAT IS HE DOING TO SAM'S NECK' and followed it with '...oh God what if everyone thinks 'SAM/GENE IS THE STUPIDEST PAIRING EVER' and I'll have picked up on things I think are subtext after being alerted by that incident and I get banished from the fandom for ever?'

...I'm a bit odd when I first get into fandoms.

BUT ANYWAY. I love Sam/Gene primarily because it wouldn't be romantic. I have a strange attraction to pairings that are just going to spend all their time arguing and fighting and criticising each other's performance in bed. IT MUST BE LOVE. And I think that Gene likes to feel he's got some sort of control over Sam, and he could use sex to feel in control. IT COULD HAPPEN. Er, right?

And I am convinced that the scriptwriters encourage it. Well, yes, okay, they may be encouraging us to see a strange kind of friendship based on arguing, but, er, LOOK OVER THERE WHILE I RUN AWAY VERY FAST.

(Gene's always dragging him away from Annie! And, um, he tricks him into eating dinner with him! And Sam says that he has an unhealthy obsession with male bonding and I'm not seeing things, am I? Am I?)

On the shallow side of things, I find all their wallslamming really rather hot.

If they become cars, I might love them even more, because obviously Gene would be a Ford Cortina and Sam would be something modern and Gene would go "AHAHAHA WHAT KIND OF CAR ARE YOU?' and mock him for ever. It would be marvellous.

You should know by now that somewhat violent, really homoerotic relationships with skewed power balances always get the biggest followings 'round these parts.

And I think that Gene likes to feel he's got some sort of control over Sam, and he could use sex to feel in control. IT COULD HAPPEN. Er, right?
YES IT SO COULD HAPPEN. Gene would probably repress until the last possible moment, and then just explode when Sam did some little thing that just throws him over the edge for whatever reason.

And Sam says that he has an unhealthy obsession with male bonding and I'm not seeing things, am I? Am I?
You're most likely not seeing things, but if you are then so am I. We can be delusional together! Also, I think the fact that instead of calling him a racist or sexist, he calls him a homophobe. Why not those other fitting adjectives, Sam?

On the shallow side of things, I find all their wallslamming really rather hot.
Ah, and that's just so very true. Have you ever seen this fanvid (http://charmax.livejournal.com/47808.html)? It's like wallslam-apalooza!

Sam and Gene as cars would be marvellous. Clearly this is a genius idea and should be used for the third season.

Um, I'm going to have ask you to tell me all about what's happening with Sam and Gene in 1983, since I'm SO excited about the idea of Ashes to Ashes...

(I'm excited about Torchwood, but also worried because alien sex wtf?)

"alien sex wtf"

It is Captain Jack.

That reminds me, I need find a community to download the episodes from.

Do you mean that you've seen Life on Mars and want to know my opinion of those two, or that you haven't seen it and you want to know a bit about the plot? (Also, what is Ashes to Ashes?)

(ALIEN SEX WHY NOT? The Doctor was an alien, and that didn't stop Jack.)

Ah... see, this is what I get for reading the gossip columns. Aparently, Life on Mars is not as finished as we're being told, and a sequel, called Ashes to Ashes is being planned... and it's set in the 80s. I'm not sure how this is going to work, or even if it's true, but it's exciting if it is. But either way, I thought it was a neat idea and I was just interested to know how you saw them ten years on :)

(I have no problems with Jack shagging everything in sight, from the way John Barrowman was talking, though, it's not just Jack...!)

In other groovy news, we weren't the only ones to think 'Yes, clearly Captain Jack Harkness needs to meet the Top Gear trio!'

someone else agreed (http://twitchbell.livejournal.com/1173.html) and refers to James as 'the fluffy one' and Jack shuts up Jeremy by SNOGGING him and apparently being snogged by Jack is BETTER than the Bugatti Veyron (as if!) and it's all quite lovely.

TALK TO ME ABOUT HOLMES & WATSON!

...I wanted to come up with a crazy concept for you, but, uh, I got nothin'. Six weeks from now I'll wake up in the middle of the night going, yelling, "JD AND DR. COX OPEN A BAKERY" or something like that.

Now, I think that Arthur Conan Doyle is quite hopeless at portraying love. Men go 'oh, she was the most beautiful creature in the world' and 'not being able to see her was killing me' and I was just going 'er, yes, this sounds completely natural'.

And yet, somehow, he can make the relationship between Holmes and Watson so wonderful. I honestly don’t understand how Conan Doyle can be so ridiculous and over-the-top with his portrayal of romantic relationships between men and women, and yet manage to portray the love between Holmes and Watson in such a touching and convincing way.

I mean, Holmes stays so quiet about his affection for Watson but you always know it's there, and on the occasions on which it shows through (The Adventure of the Three Garridebs, sneakily forcing Watson to live with him in The Norwood Builder) it is much more powerful for that. And Watson is just absolutely lovely, with his hero-worshipping of Holmes and constantly hoping to impress him and wanting assurance that Holmes cares about him and being so thrilled when he actually gets it (in both The Devil's Foot and The Three Garridebs he just doesn't care that he's been endangered, because Holmes' reaction makes it all worth it). You always get the impression that Holmes is the most important thing in Watson's life, whether Watson is married or not. And then there are the things - like Holmes being jealous of Watson's wives - that just make me think 'THIS CANNOT BE BY ACCIDENT.'

They are both so lovely, and the relationship between them is so lovely, and I love everything about Holmes/Watson. Eeee.

One: *ROFL*, and two: I agree with EVERYTHING. Except that I haven't read The Three Garridebs yet, even though Squeem keeps flailing at me about it.

I feel awful about slashing them, because, y'knopw, Victorianism and whatnot, but MAN. Like you said, it's so there, and so convincing and touching and adorable and squee squee squee. Watson's reaction in The Empty House! SO MANY HEARTS.

JD WOULD WANT TO BAKE BREAD WITH SMILEY FACES AND IN THE SHAPES OF RABBITS AND DR. COX WOULD SAY "WHAT THE HELL, NEWBIE, IT'S JUST BREAD, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BREAD-SHAPED, OKAY?" AND THEN JD WOULD WANT TO HAVE 'OUR BREAD IS MADE WITH LOVE' AS A SLOGAN AND DR. COX WOULD OBJECT ON THE GROUNDS THAT THE BREAD IS ACTUALLY MADE WITH FLOUR AND ANYWAY WHAT KIND OF THING IS THAT TO SAY? I WILL NOT BE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU ANY MORE.

THEN HE WOULD LEAVE AND JD WOULD BE SAD.

MADE WITH LOVE!!!!!!!!

*LMAO*

Man, I was gonna ask about Holmes and Watson!

Okay. Um... what do you think about of... of... you know, I don't anything about your thoughts on FFVII. Can I ask about FFVII in general? I mean, do you have any crossovers with that?

If that's a no go, tell me about Dr. Cox and Ben (and JD)! Also, um, please keep in mind I haven't seen seasons 4 and 5.

Hmmm. VII is quite a difficult one for me. I never actually finished it - I got to the final battle, lost repeatedly and then was rather distressed when my Memory Card broke, and on my current playthrough I am in that place by the coast (I think it's called Junon) and haven't got a clue why I'm there or what I'm supposed to do next.

I don't have the same love for it that I do for, say, VIII or IX. Partially this is resentment because I am stuck on it and I would never get stuck like that on the other Final Fantasies, but also I don't love the characters in the way I do those of VIII or have the sheer joy in playing it that I do with IX.

I do, however, adore Yuffie. I'm not entirely sure why. She's a strong female character! She saved me numerous times on long-distance battles! She's not above nicking all the party's Materia and hiding, and that bit in Wutai where you get the Materia from the chest and she drops down and steals it immediately is hilarious. Also, Cid is awesome.

I think a large part of my not-being-an-enormous-VII-fan comes from the fact that, er, I didn't really understand the story completely. Also, I never really got all the fuss about Sephiroth. I love the beginning, the first few hours when you're running around Midgar and blowing things up and crossdressing and THE TURKS SWOOP IN AT RANDOM POINTS WITH THE AWESOME TURK MUSIC, but afterwards I just got a bit confused. (I spend most of the game going "What? Why all the giant transparent Clouds? Shrinking temple? What's all this business with clones and this Zack fellow and why does Cloud go crazy whenever Sephiroth is around? Why am I in prison? What?")

(I'd probably be nicer about it if it weren't for the intense irritation of not knowing what I'm supposed to do on it right now.)

I think that it should be crossed over with Silent Hill. But, then again, I think that everything should be crossed over with Silent Hill. ~~PYRAMID HEAD/CLOUD FOR EVER~~

Torn/Pecker.

Explain yourself.

If not (or even possibly as well!): Theorise on why the goddamn hell Jak's Uncle lives in Sandover Village despite li'l Jak being born in Haven or what the heck happened to everybody's mothers. You're not allowed to cop out and say it's because Naughty Dog is lazy. Even if that is the most likely explanation.

Explain yourself.

I CAN'T

Look, um, this really is something that I just can't excuse. I was thinking 'okay, I started with Torn/Jak, and then wrote Daxter/Jak, and then went to Dark Jak/Jak... so, if the Jak pairings I'm writing are getting progressively weirder and weirder, what might I write next?'

'Something involving Pecker, probably,' my mind responded. 'Torn/Pecker. Why not?'

'Well, that's, er, a nicely ridiculous idea, but obviously I would never actually write it,' I said, opening Word.

I just - can't say anything about Torn/Pecker. It was just a completely random, ridiculous pairing, and I think my main aim in actually writing it was to see whether I could actually take an utterly nonsensical pairing and write it with a straight face, so to speak. And, er, I managed it. Sort of. There was nothing overt, but I still managed to write an entire Torn/Pecker fic in a fairly serious way.

So, how would those two actually interact? I think that they would probably despise each other. Pecker would mock Torn's tattoos, Torn would threaten to pluck him, and then they would never speak again. TRUE LOVE.

Well, the thing is, Jak's Uncle is not actually related to Jak in any way. He is a man without family connections who just happens to have the slightly unfortunate name of Jak's Uncle. This was fine when there was nobody called Jak in Sandover, but Samos, to Jak's Uncle's intense irritation, named the young Mar 'Jak' as a joke.

Despite the lack of an actual connection between the two, Jak's Uncle took to appealing to Jak by actually referring to himself as his uncle when he wanted something, hence "would you be kind enough to loan your dear old uncle ninety Precursor orbs?"

Keira is actually everyone's mother. Don't say anything to her; she's quite selfconscious about it.

He is a man without family connections who just happens to have the slightly unfortunate name of Jak's Uncle. This was fine when there was nobody called Jak in Sandover, but Samos, to Jak's Uncle's intense irritation, named the young Mar 'Jak' as a joke.

You are fabulous. Samos would totally do that, too.

Keira is actually everyone's mother. Don't say anything to her; she's quite selfconscious about it.

So she really is a dirty h0r!111!!! I knew the fandom had to be right about something.

(I quite like Keira, actually. So, does this mean Jak's dating his mother? And Keira is her own mother? And Krew and Samos and the Baron -

...I'm going to brake this train of thought before the incest turns my brain inside out.)

You are the only person I know (even remotely) to have played Silent Hill 2, so of course I must ask to hear about ~~the insane protagonist~~ James Sunderland. Throwing Mary/Maria (and possibly Pyramid Head depending on what you interpret that thing to be) into the mess is fine, too, of course.

Don't say that so loud! You'll bring...the others.

By which I mean SH2 is pretty popular around here. I've played it. I love my mad little Jobo. I'm mainly commenting because look! Matching Chibi Sh 2 icons!

Let them come! I have a wooden plank and can defend myself! >.>;

...Really, though, that's good. It is ~~a very lonely world~~ a tad embarrassing to be the only person you know who occasionally twitches at radio static. ...Even if no one here does, at least you should understand why. o_O;

Hurray! Matching icons! *does a dance*

(Spoilers for Silent Hill 2 to follow.)

Oh my God I love James. I know I shouldn't, but I really, really do. When I started playing Silent Hill 2 I had already read through the entire script online, so I already knew all the reasons why Adoring James Sunderland Would Be Silly, and yet...

...and yet, well, about three minutes into the Trail Down To Silent Hill That Never Ends, I had started talking aloud to him to calm my nerves.

And after about an hour of walking nervously through the streets of Silent Hill, completely lost, with no company but James, I had become irrationally fond of him.

And then I started to think that he really was oddly adorable when he shifted and scratched his head if you left him alone for a while, and that the way he shone his flashlight around after one of the drops in the Prison was the cutest thing in the world, and I knew that I was doomed.

I just love his devotion and his insanity (because protagonists who are completely off their collective rockers are the best kind), and he's so charmingly thick, and when you're trapped in Hell with only one person really 'on your side' you can't really help but feel some attachment to him, and I just felt so sorry for him. And even if he's not really a good person, he tries so hard to be.

And I think that the James/Mary relationship is wonderful, in an absolutely horrible sort of way. He obviously loved her: it just all went horribly wrong, because he was distressed and selfish and also a lunatic. He was willing to keep on going through Silent Hill, despite everything that happened, because there was the slightest chance that he might see her again. If you subscribe to the 'he imagined the letter because of a subconscious desire to punish himself' theory, which I think is a very plausible one - well, then he put himself through Silent Hill, and I can't imagine a more powerful way of showing regret than that. It was one of the first het pairings that really fascinated me, because pairings have to be either hideously disturbing or have gigantic obstacles before I sit up and take notice, it seems.

In conclusion: oh, James.

I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE TO TALK TO HIM. I feel oddly vindicated. Perhaps I should be worried, instead.

...And, really, I'd like to say more, but mostly I will stick with, "yes, yes, and MORE YES," because that's about my coherency level right now. Also, yes. Insanity is like a one-way ticket to Awesome Protagonist Land.

Also, also, "oh, James" is seriously the best conclusion for everything SH2 EVER.

when you're trapped in Hell with only one person really 'on your side' you can't really help but feel some attachment to him

Man, yes. I remember at the bit in the first game where I first ran into Kaufmann and he'd just killed a monster and I went "OH THANK GOD THERE IS SOMEBODY ELSE HERE AND HE HAS A GUN HE AND HARRY WILL TEAM UP AND BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER AND WE WILL GET OUT OF THIS AWFUL HELLTOWN AND THEN KAUFMANN WILL INVITE ME TO HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY" and then three minutes later Kaufmann was like, "Well, seeya," and Harry was like, "Later." And I cried.

Anyways, yes. You have to bond with James, even while trying to keep a safe distance, just 'cause you've been through so much together by them time you're like ten minutes into the game.

ADORABLE LUNATICS FOREVER!

It's past midnight and I'm still sick (and also it's my birthday! as of nineteen minutes ago!) and, in short, I am in the kind of mood in which one does not want to have just finished Silent Hill 2 again. Though for the first time with one's very own copy of Silent Hill 2.

Nonetheless, this comment sums up everything I have just been thinking about James for the past several hours. Well, not all of it; there was also waaaaah. A fair bit of that.

(Hi, comment from 2006! I'm comment from 2007! We're talking across time! ...if you don't have e-mail notification turned on this really has no point but catharsis.)

I always wondered about what you thought of James, because I never could really tell.

(I would not be able to survive without e-mail notification. Hello, comment from the tenth of January! I'm comment from the ninth, which is my excuse for not having wished you a happy birthday earlier. Happy birthday!)

I was vacillating on him this playthrough. Every scene change I flipped between "he actually hated her! oh man!" and "he was actually her mercy angel! oh, James!" and then during the end sequence I settled on a comfortable "his growing resentment for sacrificing so much of his own life for hers made him feel guilty about his perfectly understandable (given that he's a lunatic) desire to end his wife's pain and made him even more of a lunatic, and also he's an adorable dork so I'm allowed to keep digging him". And then I wept. Well, sniffled. Manfully.

...I'm not sure at all how this icon is appropriate, unlike yours which is very appropriate. Er... the Avatar Cycle represents... Mary's... pullover.

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The Aerodynamic Properties of Elton John.

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