rionaleonhart | Let Me Get Something Straight Here: Engaged?

I have watched about twelve episodes of Stargate SG-1, and I have already met four different versions of Jack O'Neill, three of Samantha Carter, three of Teal'c and two of Daniel Jackson. I may have already written a tiny Daniel Jackson/Daniel Jackson ficlet. I REGRET NOTHING.

For a person with a weird penchant for pairing people up with alternate versions of themselves, this is almost too much.

Anyway! As I now have the ability to create one, I do believe that this calls for an extremely odd poll. Don't you?

[Poll #906228]

(Is it too obvious that the main reason I actually posted this instead of abandoning the idea and slinking away in shame was because I really, really wanted to have the utterly irrelevant last question? I'm very interested in seeing what people might come up with with a 255-character limit.)

(EDIT: Oh my God, I can't believe I posted this. What must you all think of me? I HAVE COMPLICATED BUT COMPLETELY NON-SEXUAL AND NON-NARCISSISTIC REASONS FOR NOT COMPLETELY STRIKING OUT THE POSSIBILITY OF KISSING MYSELF. STOP STARING AT ME WITH YOUR JUDGEMENTAL EYES. IT WOULD BE FIC RESEARCH. FIC RESEARCH. The sad thing is that I am actually completely serious. I am the only person I know who would understand 'Hey, I'm completely uninterested in having a sexual or romantic relationship, but I think actually kissing someone might make me better able to write about it.')

Also, is it a bad thing that, when my little brother complains of stomach pain, my immediate thought is 'OH NO HE HAS BEEN GOA'ULDED'? It is, isn't it?

P.S. As an apology for the utter inexcuseability of this poll: if you comment on this post, I will tell you something I like about you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I want to have an Alternate Top Gear Dog! A TG who likes cars and runs about a lot!

See? Might take some time for them to team up properly, but it would work.

Hahaha! Excellent.

Oh God. Poor May.

*Laughs* Oh, what a terrific thought! She'd like James, as well!

Yes, alright, you have a point, but I still think you're underestimating the Mays.

You mock my poor defeated brain? Shame on you :P

My thoughts exactly. I don't think he'd survive.

She's slobber all over him, and he'd be trying to shoo her away, bless.

I think that the Mays would spend hours thinking up a really excellent plan, and then carry it out with alarming precision, and I don't know how well Clarkson fits into the plan.

Of course I mock your brain ;).

"Hey, you, me, other me, wait a minute"
"What?"
"He hasn't moved for a while now, has he?"
"No. And?"
"Do you think that maybe we've shagged him to death?"
"What? No. No, see, I can feel his pulse, and he's breathing."
"Oh, okay. Good."

"Get her off me!"

"Why? You always love when she does that! Oh, fine, give her one of those biscuits you keep for her and she'll bugger off for a bit."

"What?!"

Of course! It would all be timed down to the last second and run like clockwork and they'd actually probably be so caught up in planning it and having so much fun that Jeremy'd be an afterthought! (But if they ever did get round to it, he'd not know what hit him, they're devious.)

My brain is busy thinking up rediculous Bond!fic for you, so play nice :P

*chokes laughing* Oh that's genius!

"Hey, you, me, other me, wait a minute"

*giggles*

Hee! Of COURSE they would mix each other up!

Haha, yes, and when you say 'caught up in planning' do you mean 'they get so turned on that they're shagging each other'? And then they finally do get Clarkson in it, and somewhere along the line he does something not in the plan, and they'd have to improvise, which is where it might go wrong.

Well, I've got enough fic on my plate as well. I MIGHT just be mad enough to do it though, I've got a couple of weeks of free time after all! Still, got to work on the works-in-progress, really.

You just know there'd be arguements about what to call each other!

Absolutely!

"Well, you can't expect me to floor this here, May, it's a Bugatti Veyron; we'd never survive, and yes, I know you'd just throttle it and damn anyone who dared to be in the way, but can we at least wait until we get it onto the track, and why are you looking at me like I've got two heads, you daft bugger?"

Well, no, but it would be a plausable side effect! Oh I dunno, I think the Mays could probably improvise quite well... I mean, if they're a threesome in both universes, both Mays are bound to have picked up a few pointers from their respective Hammonds ;)

Aww *hugs* I wasn't snapping hon, honest. I was trying to be funny... Bad move ;) Yeah, I think you've got more on the go than me, actually.

"I'm not being Richard Two, I'm the original!"

"No you're not, I bloody am!"

"Well, how about you be Richard and you be Hammond, then?"

"How come He gets the first name?"

"Yeah, and who put you in charge, James?"

"He's not James, I am!"

"Oh, god."

I can just SEE Our May's expression and am sniggering like mad.

Well, it might take them some time to come up with a good enough improvisation, so it would still be a struggle, but I suppose they could succeed.

Oh, I didn't think you were snapping, I was just trying to show off my heavy workload :p whilst trying to figure out if I could actually write this. You've heard of my insane Five James crossover which contains James May/James Norrington? It's at 12,000 words and nowhere near finished.

Y'know, I think we've got it wrong that they'll end up having sex with each other. They're clearly going to kill each other first.

I'm not sure he'd know what to do with Alternate Jeremy, actually!

They may not be as explosive as team Hammond, but they're a potent force!

12000 words and still going?! Blimey. This is the Jameses in Silent Hill thing, yes?

I think you may be right, maybe all six of them in one place isn't such a good plan after all...

I think he would need to adjust slowly but surely, and then they can both mock Powermad James and Our Clarkson together.

Potent, wink wink, nudge nudge ;). This is some sort of slow but steady wins the race thing, isn't it?

I never expected it to get so bloody long! Or for there to be May/Norrington. I'm trying to sort of stick to the plot and order of the game, and even though the game was quite short and I'm not going into detail, it might still take 6,000 more words to get it done! And I still have to bring in James Bond, just so he can get killed.

Well, it could go either way, couldn't it? Just like the three of them together, I think ;)

Oh God, Powermad James and Our Clarkson, there's a terrifying prospect!

Oh, shush :P I totally missed the innuendo, I must be tired! No, it's more a 'James isn't as sedate as he makes out' thing. I'm utterly convinced there's a nutter in there.

Bloody hell, that's some going. Oh, brilliant! Just, what, in, bam and dead? That's hillarious!

*snerk* Mmm, I suppose you have a point!

No, two Hammonds, powermad James and Our Clarkson, THAT is a terrifying prospect!

:D I think you need to get some sleep if you missed that! And well, it's all relative, isn't it? The Wine Adventure proved that. It's just that the Mays would be going up against the madness of Clarkson!

It's becoming a bloody epic, that's what! And it's also becoming slightly disturbing, since Silent Hill deals with Issues, and while May and Norrington don't have any issues - I have also decided they're not seeing some of the monsters because they have decided to get drunk instead - Wilson, Rocket James and the James from Silent Hill do, so it's getting a more creepy than I'm used to! But overall it's still light-hearted, I think. And definitely 'wam, bam, dead'! And just when the characters go 'Oh, thank heavens, another person who is well-armed and used to fighting' :D.

Heh, and eventually one of the six would say 'hey, why not settle the name issue by flipping a coin or having a race?' and all would be settled for a bit.

Anyway, I don't know about you, but I'm off to bed. This was quite enough madness for one night :D I hope the Hammond!Bond fic goes well, because what I've read is just brilliant and I can't wait for Jon Tickle as Q!

*constructs nuclear bunker*

I think you're right! Ah, that's true, of course, but I still reckon that given the right conditions, they could surprise him.

I'm glad May has no issues, because that would be weird but Norrington does - losing his comission, and his freedom, and Jack Sparrow (not like that!). Or something... *shrugs*

It'd be a race, it'd HAVE to be a race!

Yeah, I should rack off too. It was, but it was fun madness :) I hope so too, because I've actually started to enjoy writing it, and Q!Tickle is just starting to amuse me...

Goodnight hon :)

*joins you in bunker*

I think the issue of TWO Mays ganging up on him would surprise him, but I think he'd also recover quite quickly.

Bah, you're making me want to write Norrington's issues :p. I suppose he could see something creepy from the corner of his eyes rather than properly because I'm sticking to the 'drunkenness makes it harder to see the monsters' thing. That could work.

Hee :D

Hurrah for amusingness!

Let Me Get Something Straight Here: Engaged?

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