rionaleonhart | How Stupid Do You Think I Think You Are?

Richard Dawkins is such a bastard. I found myself becoming insanely angry barely a minute into The Enemies of Reason, and it only kept mounting. I am by no means a religious person, but he makes me wish I were a faith healer Creationist just so I wouldn't have to share any of my beliefs with him.

In other news, something that happened just now:

(RIONA is waiting for her rather misshapen attempt at brownies to cool in the kitchen. The younger of her brothers, FRED, walks in.)
FRED: Can I play your ukulele?
RIONA: (half-glances at him out of the corner of her eye) Yeah, all right.
(FRED whacks the ukulele against the table.)
RIONA: (YELPS)
RIONA: What--
'UKULELE': (is actually a piece of thin wood, carefully painted to look like RIONA's ukulele)
RIONA: ...
RIONA: ...
RIONA: That seems like a lot of trouble to go to in order to give me a heart attack.

In other other news, I, er, may sort of already have a few sentences of Alex/Jess scribbled down in one of my many notebooks. I cannot believe I'm writing The Real Hustle fanfiction. I'm usually able to resist for at least a month after a horribly inappropriate fanfic idea occurs to me! This one hasn't even taken three days!

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I'LL CRY.

But yay, you are playing Final Fantasy VIII again!

BUT I AM LOST IN MY FICWRITING WITHOUT YOU.

*sends TG as a guide dog*

Also, Squall is the most useless leader EVER. 'Oh well, Edea PROBABLY won't be our enemy again, so let's leave her alone and look for the White SeeD ship'.

SHE HASN'T WATCHED THE REAL HUSTLE EITHER.

It's educational! NEXT TIME YOU ARE SCAMMED, YOU WILL REGRET NOT WATCHING IT.

And oh, dear, are you looking for the White SeeD ship? No matter how many times I play the game, finding that ship always takes me for ever.

At the moment I've gone back to Laguna's Crazy Adventures.

Well, TG will support you ANYWAY, she's THAT good.

And also, are there plans for a The Real Hustle/Top Gear or Real Hustle/Silent Hill crossover?

...

...

JEREMY WOULD BE THE WORST HUSTLER EVER.

And they could very well fit into Silent Hill if I went the 'they are genuinely hustlers, rather than doing it for the programme' route!

BUT I AM SO NOT GOING TO WRITE THEM.

"BUT I AM SO NOT GOING TO WRITE THEM."

I'll be reminding you of this in a month when you've written The Real Hustle Goes To Silent Hill.

Ah, but you won't be able to persuade me properly if you haven't watched it! I CAN RESIST WHEN I DO NOT HAVE YOUR EVIL INFLUENCE.

...this plan for making you watch it isn't terribly cunning, is it?

I think you've been more cunning in the past.

AND JESS' PRETTINESS WILL NOT TEMPT ME EITHER.

Hang on, they haven't got any adorable and sensible dogs, do they?

...

The Rare Dog Scam.

(Are you sure? Jess is very pretty.)

Awwwww!

But they have ugly facial hair :(.

So far, that clip has taught me that, if I for some reason want to pick up girls, I need to bring an adorable dog with me. Top Gear has taught me that already!

Jess doesn't have ugly facial hair! And Alex only has it some of the time.

Some of the time is more than enough!

And Jess should tell them that clean-shaven people look more trustworthy.

RARELY. ALEX HAS UGLY FACIAL HAIR RARELY.

Have you watched the jewellery shop scam? Where they walk away from the shop with absolutely adorable one-armed hugging and hair-ruffling and ruin my life by making me go OMG ALEX/JESS/PAUL FOR EVER?

Yes, I have, and I have RESISTED the adorable OT3ness!

Nooooo! How can you possibly have resisted? TELL ME YOUR SECRETS SO I DO NOT HAVE TO WRITE THIS INSANE FIC.

(Also, the slap swindle. They're holding hands! If there's one thing the Doctor Who fandom has taught me, it's that that means that they are totally in love.)

Stop taking shipper advice from the demented Rose/Doctor fans!

...

...am I allowed to 'ship them because they're cute, then?

Cuteness is perfectly fine.

I mean, I've paired up Norrington/May on the basis that they worked well in my fanfic, for heaven's sake.

'On the basis that they worked well' is a completely sensible reason for pairing people up, Draco.

Have you enjoyed what you've seen of The Real Hustle? At all? More importantly, do you see the OT3ness? No? Blast.

There may very well be OT3ness, but for now I am seeing Jess/The slightly prettier one with the not-pretty one being grumpy about being left out.

Hee! I do think that Jess/Alex seems to be the most plausible combination so far, which is why the fanfic I'm writing only seems to be pairing up those two.

So far.

But hee, Paul being grumpy about being left out would be fun. Perhaps I should include that!

SEE YOU ARE BEING MY EVIL FIC-ENCOURAGER FOR THIS FANDOM ALREADY.

Hahaha!

Clearly, Paul needs to sulk in a bar with Missy and pick up a nice barmaid. "My two friends are off shagging each other, and all I have is this lousy dog." "But she's such a cutie, isn't she? Yes she is!"

You see, this is why I needed you to watch it! I'm so happy now!

I mean, um, YOU ARE EVIL FOR BEING AN EVIL FIC-PERSUADER AND I OBVIOUSLY DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.